DAAUUUUDDDE YOU GET YOUR COAAFFEEE...YOU TOSS IN SOME BUTTER.....YOU KEEP COUGHIN' FLEM INTO THE FUCKING MIC EVERY 5 SECONDS...YOU MAKE SURE TO SAY "KILL SHIT WITH YOUR FACE" AT LEAST 5 TIMES AN EPISODE DAAUUUUDDE....
DAAUUUUDDDDEE YOU KEEP HAMMERING INTO PEOPLES HEADS THAT JOEY DIAZ IS THE FUNNIEST MAN ALIVE DAAAUUUUDDDDE. FUCK CHAPPELLE FUCK DIPAOLO FUCK BURR... YOU KEEP YAMMERING ON ABOUT JOEY DIAZ DAAAAUUUUUDE...
One day they notice me opening a Windows copy of Dungeons and Dragons Pool or Radiance and stepped up to this hard N-person and said "hey what are you doing?". I dropped that box, screamed with a high pitch and ran out of there like a true G yo!
Any time I match with a gal on online dating, esp ones that are hot/stupid, I cringe whenever we start talking about stand up. Because every dumb broad's favorite comic is Joe Rogan, and/or Chris D'elia. And then insert some dumb broad comic, like "Whitney Cummings." I hate everything.
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51 comments
70 Frynkiss 2016-11-28
DUUUUUUDDDEE!!! Pot is awesome dude! I take my bud, my papers and boom a nice smoke dude!!! DUUUDDEEE!!!! That take down was text book dude!
48 Robert-T-Pooner 2016-11-28
I broke my bong man, I broke my bong dude
20 sadmeal 2016-11-28
Just hold my bag man.
21 Cryptokunt 2016-11-28
DAAUUUUDDDE YOU GET YOUR COAAFFEEE...YOU TOSS IN SOME BUTTER.....YOU KEEP COUGHIN' FLEM INTO THE FUCKING MIC EVERY 5 SECONDS...YOU MAKE SURE TO SAY "KILL SHIT WITH YOUR FACE" AT LEAST 5 TIMES AN EPISODE DAAUUUUDDE....
8 mxdj 2016-11-28
DUUUDEEE YOU GOT YOUR REDBAN, YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO ONNIT, AND YOUR JOEY DIAZ IMPRESSIONS AND YOU GOT A PODCAST DUUUDE
1 Cryptokunt 2016-11-28
DAAUUUUDDDDEE YOU KEEP HAMMERING INTO PEOPLES HEADS THAT JOEY DIAZ IS THE FUNNIEST MAN ALIVE DAAAUUUUDDDDE. FUCK CHAPPELLE FUCK DIPAOLO FUCK BURR... YOU KEEP YAMMERING ON ABOUT JOEY DIAZ DAAAAUUUUUDE...
5 KnickedUp 2016-11-28
UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!! JOSE ALDO!!!!!!!!!!!
13 ihaveaholeinmyass 2016-11-28
Me crying "Rhonda is the greatest pound for pound figher that has ever lived.. male or female" 😂
1 [deleted] 2016-11-28
[deleted]
27 GayNiggerFag 2016-11-28
Coyotes are some scary motherfuckers man. My dog got jacked by one when I was living in Colorado
10 Moose_Thompson 2016-11-28
Fuckin' nature man, it's a cruel bitch.
4 cakehornnigga 2016-11-28
Any dog that gets "jacked" by a coyote is either way too small or a giant pussy. Coyotes are tiny
22 EskimoEscrow 2016-11-28
What are States even about tho?
Just artificial lines, like, lmao wtf its just like made up.
12 SlamballReunionTour 2016-11-28
This ancient morph software technology was unearthed from the fossilized ruins of a Babbages game store
3 NoirMagieGateau 2016-11-28
Oooh... references.
1 fingerrockets 2016-11-28
I used to shoplift there during my thug days.
One day they notice me opening a Windows copy of Dungeons and Dragons Pool or Radiance and stepped up to this hard N-person and said "hey what are you doing?". I dropped that box, screamed with a high pitch and ran out of there like a true G yo!
11 ihaveaholeinmyass 2016-11-28
The O&A sub, where all your dreams/dumbest thoughts come true
10 TacoTrots 2016-11-28
The common pig will turn into a Sasquatch if let loose in the wild.
9 Frynkiss 2016-11-28
That was perfect.
9 dolan_the_rapper 2016-11-28
This would be even better on mushrooms maaan
2 TheShitHoldingKid 2016-11-28
Can you tell imagine what it would be like if EVERYBODY took mushrooms? We'd sort this place out real fast.
2 dolan_the_rapper 2016-11-28
Gatekeepers would shut that shit down real quick
8 crookedmile 2016-11-28
Listen man, when someone comes along and fucking expresses him/herself as freely as they think, people flock to it duuuuuuude.
7 TheScarletR 2016-11-28
Duuude ya got yer pot BOOM got yer DMT, see some elves BOOM its fuckin great
6 thrillated 2016-11-28
The transition from Dana to Bobby is perfection. Bravo.
5 sybaritical 2016-11-28
This is fucking amazing.
4 i_do_i_do_let_u_bang 2016-11-28
THAT'S O-N-N-I-T, USE PROMO CODE JOE ROGAN 10% ON ANY AND ALL ORDERS.
3 AntsCamera 2016-11-28
I just came out my fucking float tank popped 126 and a half alpha brains, and saw god in this post.
3 yungfella 2016-11-28
ONNITDAHTCAHM
3 Reesangmin 2016-11-28
" one day we'll all be connected to the hive mind"
3 SorryFiMAGADog 2016-11-28
Duuuude ya got your DMT and you're in the Temple lookin' for RELICS.
2 loscrenshaw 2016-11-28
Dude is on some shit.
2 ThePittWolf 2016-11-28
The autism is strong here.
2 Doc_McCoy79 2016-11-28
Any time I match with a gal on online dating, esp ones that are hot/stupid, I cringe whenever we start talking about stand up. Because every dumb broad's favorite comic is Joe Rogan, and/or Chris D'elia. And then insert some dumb broad comic, like "Whitney Cummings." I hate everything.
5 LouisCGhey 2016-11-28
i met joe rogan on grindr
3 JoeRoganisaqueer 2016-11-28
shocker
2 strategic_butter 2016-11-28
Morphing into Dana White at the end. Haha.
2 yuki0d 2016-11-28
you are the best duuuuuude
2 suchanjv 2016-11-28
HAHAHA
Good work!
2 MedicatedHead 2016-11-28
This is funnier than his entire career.
1 eastriverdriveII 2016-11-28
you got mad skills 007
1 kevin121312 2016-11-28
hilarious. please do some more.
6 SiriusXMLawyer007 2016-11-28
Just to show you how similar these two are:
http://imgur.com/a/uhhPV
2 kevin121312 2016-11-28
that's great.
1 [deleted] 2016-11-28
[deleted]
1 thrillated 2016-11-28
PGH
7 crookedmile 2016-11-28
PFG
1 Phillipmcd 2016-11-28
He was great on Newsradio
5 Psych555 2016-11-28
Yea while someone else wrote the jokes for him.
1 fingerrockets 2016-11-28
yeah but he made his own duct tape.
1 Patmcpsu 2016-11-28
Mods! Sidebar that shit!
1 [deleted] 2016-11-28
[deleted]
1 banana066 2016-11-28
pull that up, jamie
0 [deleted] 2016-11-28
[deleted]
0 [deleted] 2016-11-28
[removed]
-1 AutoModerator 2016-11-28
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