A newspaper reporter in the 1950s that caught LaMotta's comedy act at Café Milano in Georgetown, wrote that his one-liners "would have made Henny Youngman proud: 'I'm in great shape, every artery in my body is as hard as a rock…. We're going to talk about the art of self-defense tonight. In order to defend yourself you need two things, a good lawyer and a good alibi….My doctor told me once if I didn't stop drinking I'd lose my hearing. I told the doctor so what, the stuff I'm drinking is better than the stuff I'm hearing... I fought Sugar Ray so many times, it's a wonder I don't have diabetes."

Folks...