Okay it is official, I am old and sad.
43 2016-11-18 by DaveNone
Was flipping channels just now and Shelley Duvall, she of The Shining and Popeye fame, is on Dr. Phil and she looks old and hagged out and she is apparently psychotic. She talks about people after her, someone who either looks like John Heard or John Hurt and how people watch her and Ground Zero and triple 0's and a nun. And she thinks there is a recorder implanted in her body. And she believes Robin Williams isn't really dead.
I feel so sad now. Everything from the past is going to shit and the world stinks.
66 comments
80 AntsCamera 2016-11-18
There is still plenty of minorities to hate, and women are an easy target.
Pick yourself up fella, you have alot to live for.
22 Anarox 2016-11-18
Joe cumia is gonna outlive us all, making our grandkids spit in his mouth
10 mcb84 2016-11-18
It powers him the way superman is powered by earth's yellow sun
17 Anarox 2016-11-18
literally the fountain of youth
2 Lish_fips89 2016-11-18
Kick an elderly person, it will make you feel better.
22 Bibimbap4211 2016-11-18
Aren't you supposed to be a comic? Make me laugh, faggot
20 CompoundMediaPR 2016-11-18
It's he really a comic? I've never seen him post anything remotely funny. He'll probably do great in 2017.
15 DaveNone 2016-11-18
Soon as my New York studio is up and running you asshats are going to see some amazing work on my part.
6 Sike_Midtown 2016-11-18
Stop being Jewish.
11 TheScarletR 2016-11-18
He refuses to answer accusations that hes Dave Smith
13 insertclevereference 2016-11-18
And who would that be?
15 bleep1991 2016-11-18
BE MORE FUNNY
15 TriangleDimes 2016-11-18
Maybe instead of being down in the dumps you give her the benefit of the doubt and look into some of this shit.
13 ihaveaholeinmyass 2016-11-18
Have you heard of alcohol?
7 crookedmile 2016-11-18
Yeah dude, just have a private party for one and butt-chug a six pack of Smirnoff Ice.
13 murderboner0 2016-11-18
She can also communicate telepathically with Scatman Crothers
8 Opprobriousness 2016-11-18
I guess it's better to Duvall than to Duvsome.
8 3stepsbackward 2016-11-18
Turns out she's actually the guy from here that's stalking Joe Rogan.
7 MicrowaveYourFork 2016-11-18
Where we at with the Robin Williams shape shifting? They figure that shit out?
1 DaveNone 2016-11-18
The suspicion is he shifted into the form of an unfunny satellite radio DJ with delusions of grandeur. They are just not sure who that could possibly be.
6 Doc_McCoy79 2016-11-18
Shelly Duvall has been bat shit crazy since about 1980, why do you think Kurbrick gave her such a hard time.
Stay woke, bro.
5 KirkJohnsonsring 2016-11-18
Shes also at sea on a navy ship.
5 Binski13 2016-11-18
If it makes you feel any better my really old and really sad mom showed me the same video and feels the exact same way you do.
5 angostura71 2016-11-18
He's a good man, that Dr. Phil.
17 Really_Big_Dummy 2016-11-18
He's a total scumbag lol. She is clearly insane, they know she is, yet tey air her insane embaressing ramblings for all to see. When she says "im very sick, i need help" he replies with a big crooked smile , "well thats why im here"...even he doesn't believe his shit.
3 insertclevereference 2016-11-18
That's what sammy branmuffins was saying about the girl that thinks her dad is Marshall Mathers.
It's not a damn spectacle, the girl needed real help.
1 MrKrinkel 2016-11-18
That is nothing to joke about dude. The Sheriff of Nottingham is threatening her
5 Beavis_vs_theFeds 2016-11-18
If it makes you feel any better, Jack Nicholson has Alzheimer's. But I suppose that actually makes you feel worse.
0 DaveNone 2016-11-18
Nah most of his best movies came out when I was younger and couldn't appreciate them.
5 charliechickenfucker 2016-11-18
The recorder implant she could get removed, that would solve half the problems right there. Then, we could hand Dr. Phil over to ISIS. Things will work out ok, keep your chin up.
4 PeckasSupreme 2016-11-18
I think one time jim referred to her as a Cancer patient. Not an ugly girl but you can kind of see what he's saying
4 war-admiral 2016-11-18
Just wanted to point out that you didn't add a photo to your post. If you could 180 your weiner into your ass, we'd have a terabyte of Ansel Adams quality photos. Mrs Brady is falling apart?? Nothing.
4 anarchronism 2016-11-18
The shit they put her through filming The Shining probably drove a sizable wedge into her sanity.
3 littlepeteferguson 2016-11-18
I would guess this has to be dementia or alzheimer's. Onset of schizophrenia is at a young age. It doesn't just magically appear in your 60s. On the bright side, maybe she can join Lady Di in the Navy!
3 tortoiseboy52 2016-11-18
Louis CK said it best "when you're 40 you realize the next big thing that happens to you is that you die"
10 DaveNone 2016-11-18
One day in our lifetime we'll mention The Shining to someone under 20 and they'll say....."Oh you mean that creepy movie with Zac Efron and Kristen Stewart?"
And yes I do think Hollywood would remake it and put shitty actors in it.
2 drngrph 2016-11-18
Hollywood already made an awful TV remake of The Shining during the late nineties, if I remember correctly. It was a lot more faithful to King's book than the movie and apparently it didn't help, because it remains largely forgotten. As for the rest of Kubricks films, I wouldn't worry about remakes, since the Kubrick family is insanely protective of their estate.
7 [deleted] 2016-11-18
[deleted]
1 cstack18 2016-11-18
It was definitely no langoliers.
1 swankyturd 2016-11-18
I know, next thing some shitty pop star will cover that Britney Spears song 'I love rock and roll,' everything's going to shit
1 [deleted] 2016-11-18
[deleted]
3 anarchronism 2016-11-18
Always thought she was kinda hot in a goofy, horsie, sloppy facefucking kinda way.
2 the_kronkez 2016-11-18
I am young and sad.
2 NortheastPhilly 2016-11-18
Can I kick the stool?
7 DaveNone 2016-11-18
Dear Fellas.
I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The sub reddit moderators got me into this halfway house called the Brewer, and a job bagging groceries at the Food-Way. It's hard work. I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work I go to the park and jerk off. I keep thinking /u/I_Hate_Knickers might just show up and say hello. But he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doing okay and making new friends.
I have trouble sleeping at night. I have bad dreams, like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Food-Way, so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense anymore. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old faggot like me.
DAVENONE WAS HERE
10 NortheastPhilly 2016-11-18
http://imgur.com/QNczSYZ
2 holodog 2016-11-18
Where we at with the escapees, fuzzy britches? sniff
1 Anarox 2016-11-18
10/10
2 mcb84 2016-11-18
If its any consolation, she was never attractive
2 [deleted] 2016-11-18
[removed]
1 Bacon_Terminator 2016-11-18
Christie Brinkley and Demi Moore are still hot. Sorry grandpa, trying to think of other women from your time.
Shelley always looked like a tall owl to begin with so get over it.
1 DaveNone 2016-11-18
Never said she was hot. Just shocked me to see how fucked up she has gotten.
1 YourOldPalHoward 2016-11-18
I always thought she was kinda hot.
1 sanfrancisco69er 2016-11-18
I was gonna say its not too shocking that Shelley Duvall isnt looking great nowadays, but holy shit: http://i1.wp.com/peopledotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/shelley-duvall-3-2000x1333.jpg?crop=0px%2C0px%2C2000px%2C1333px&resize=2000%2C1333&ssl=1
1 DaveNone 2016-11-18
Yep. That's why it took me a minute to recognize her when I saw her on Dr. Phil. I was thinking the voice sounded familiar but she was talking all this crazy shit and then it hit me who she was and I was stunned.
1 MoeGreenVegas 2016-11-18
"When do ya think you should get old and crazy, Wendy?!"
1 georgie_best 2016-11-18
:(
1 kevin_k 2016-11-18
Also, Joe Derosa.
1 [deleted] 2016-11-18
[deleted]
1 andiswearrrr 2016-11-18
lol @ retards who marry young.
Spend your first few decades getting rich by working overtime at panera, then marry at 40. You'll be dead before you have to be married to something like the current shelley duvall.
Jerry Seinfeld did it, Donald Trump did it, and Anthony Cumia will do it when he finds the one.
1 CookieHaid 2016-11-18
Hello...
1 stinksskc 2016-11-18
Always thought of you as one of the boys Dave, you're not old in my eyes!
1 RacistPigeon 2016-11-18
She's looked like shit since she tumbled out of her mother's cunt
1 jimmyolsenblues 2016-11-18
47 blows, I peaked in 1986
1 blackirishlad 2016-11-18
She always looked sickly and crazy, so I'm not exactly shocked.
1 Joyce_dewitt_hair 2016-11-18
I'm pretty sure once she realized her career was over (sometime after cheers), she started going crazy
1 DaveNone 2016-11-18
Shelley Duvall did movies like The Shining and Popeye and some kids fairy tale show on cable.
You're thinking of Shelley Long. Easy mistake to make since they were both tall, skinny, spelled their first name the same way and were mildly unattractive and not all that memorable.
1 BamsLynsiStuffer 2016-11-18
Old, sad and gay. Never forget gay.
0 _snoop_ 2016-11-18
Hi Old and Sad, I'm Dad. Nice to meet you.
0 Jackatard 2016-11-18
The gun barrell tastes like shit too...at first.
-1 [deleted] 2016-11-18
[deleted]
20 CompoundMediaPR 2016-11-18
It's he really a comic? I've never seen him post anything remotely funny. He'll probably do great in 2017.
2 drngrph 2016-11-18
Hollywood already made an awful TV remake of The Shining during the late nineties, if I remember correctly. It was a lot more faithful to King's book than the movie and apparently it didn't help, because it remains largely forgotten. As for the rest of Kubricks films, I wouldn't worry about remakes, since the Kubrick family is insanely protective of their estate.
1 swankyturd 2016-11-18
I know, next thing some shitty pop star will cover that Britney Spears song 'I love rock and roll,' everything's going to shit