Opie recalls his impoverished youth in Centerport (2:02:09)

13  2016-11-16 by radiospringy

32 comments

He lived in a rich area, went to a rich High School, lived in a nice house. His first job was as a golf caddie. He drove his own car to High School. Nothing about his childhood indicates that he was poor at all. At worst he was middle class. Most likely he was upper middle class.

He even describes going to his grandmothers beach house on the weekends. His favorite activities were skiing and golfing in HS. His family hosted poor inner city youths in the fresh air program.

Poor people do none of those things.

"WE WERE SO POOR WE HAD TO USE SUEDE TOILET PAPER INSTEAD OF SILK! CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?!"

I gotta give it to Ant for trying to sell that horseshit. "My car was so old that the back doors wouldn't close and we had to use a wire to keep 'em shut."

"NO WAY! GET OUTTA HERE!"

They were a good team and Anthony could sell the shit out of nothing, which he frequently did.

Meanwhile Ant almost got raped by a Mexican, almost got coerced into a gay 69 by his AIDS friend, beaten by his dad and got psychologically terrorized by his parents for years. It's a fucking miracle that he even made it this far in life and not dying of black mold lung in some A/C repair shop somewhere.

At that rate being a racist alcoholic woman beater is actually the best he could be.

There would be so many more reasonable ways to fix that problem (aside from actually fixing it). A wire between the 2 doors would be solution #157, duct taping them shut would be #155 and removing them completely would be #156

spoken like a true convict

ME: I grew up poor in a 6 bedroom house full of kids! I had to share a room for a couple years! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THATS LIKE!?

The same shoes for a year at a time! You poor dear!

I have hoodies in my closet that are 10 years old. What? Are you supposed to discard shoes after the first scuff? It must rain shoes from cobbler heaven out in Centerport.

I'm wearing a pair of shoes I bought 4 years ago and my last pair got worn till my toe stuck out the side cause the sole was coming off.

Fuck Opie.

I wore a shirt I bought at a Dead concert in 2004 when I was 13 last week, and I've had the same phone since 2010 and I haven't left the country, ever, to go on a vacation. And I'm from Commack.

Fuck you, Opie.

Opie's definition of poor is upper middle class.

You can hear how uncomfortable the rest of the staff is. Greggshells.

Hey now he was super poor! He had to ride the same polo pony for 2 years in a row! He had to go yachting in a 20 foot boat instead of a 40 foot boat! How dare you mock his extreme poverty. Poor guy only got to go skiing twice a year and only one of those times was overseas.

Really fuckin' poor. I grew up REALLY fuckin' poor. I hate rich kids cus I came up really fuckin' poor.

Dude give him a break. They used empty construction-cement bags to carry their lunch. We poor folk just too dumb to buy brown paper bags

Ants acting here is fantastic

Hearing Opie's fake poor stories makes me feel poor, and I'm not poor. I worked hard throughout my childhood and earned good money to get through college but I buy generic brand bread, eggs, and pasta to get by. So fucking what?

Fat Tits also claimed that his dad declared the family as a "church" to reap financial benefits - whatever the hell that means.

He might have tried to claim the house was a church to avoid property tax? I've heard of that, mainly as an urban legend type thing. Opie probably heard it once in that same context and then decided it actually happened in his life

His dad at some point, having heard the urban legend, exclaimed in a sort of stupid Hughs humor that he was going to do the same and Opie has ran with it ever since because his retarded family chuckled at the quip.

That is exactly it. Opie with his asperger's took it as a fact. Like when I joked at Christmas last year that I was going to pay off my legal-fines but the Rangers were gonna be in the playoffs so I'll just spend the money on tickets instead "I'm sure the judge will understand". My sisters aspie husband got real serious "No, that's not a valid legal defense". Thanks Johnny Cochran

I have no idea where Centerport is, but it sounds like one of those places where the black people know they shouldn't live.

Median household income $103,125

Median home value $575,000

Fuck you, Opie.

Don't know if it's in this clip (I am not listening to this horse shit), but there's one bit where Opie is talking about how poor his family was, and he illustrates this by saying (in a high pitched voice) that his family were so poor that the kids had to "make do with second hand boats"

Shoes for a year ! GASP

A dodge wagon ! Oh no!

I cant believe how ant is selling this.

Good chemistree aka Ant being interesting and making things interesting

What's annoying is this whole intern bit is hilarious but fat tits ruins it