Stop being such a druggie attention whore announcing to the sub that you plan on killing yourself. Donald Trump is about to be sworn is as President of the United States. Do you have any idea whatsoever how entertaining everything is about to get? It doesn't matter if you support him or hate him, he's about to be President and shit's about to get exciting. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start getting hyped.
You got a ticket to the big game you gotta show up to the stadium. Leave at halftime if the game sucks.
Like shit imagine being a ghost, all sober and shit, all unable to do anything except wander around aimlessly and startle dogs. Took your own life so you can't get into heaven or hell, just fucking purgatory. Can't even spy on hot girls in the shower because ghosts have no sex drive.
And the rest of us are laughing, enjoying the absurdity of America now, and then Opie/Jimmy/Ant has some giant scandal and the entire sub bands together to relentlessly shit on them. And you got a great joke, a fucking perfect reference with fantastic burn, but you can't make it because you're a ghost. And then whoever's computer screen your ass is hovering behind decides to go look at cuckold porn, so you float there sadly in his room hoping he finishes up fast and gets back to shitposting because you want to read more about the scandal. Then his dog barks at you.
No I'm not going to tell you where I live because you'd probably steal my PS4 and sell it for drugs you junkie. Just fucking get sober. Have a buddy lock you in your bedroom for 3 weeks with 5 cases of water, 50 cans of chef boyardee, and a bucket to piss and shit in. If there's a fire or you have a heart attack, fuck it you wanted to die anyway.
As much shit as we give Norton or Vos for their holier-than-thou sober attitudes, there's a canyon of difference between how much we respect them and how much we respect Lady "I'm already 4 Nattie Ices in" Di. Get whats left of your life back on fucking track and maybe you can find something that motivates you into staying alive other than your next snort.
I know you think I'm encouraging you but I honestly won't give a shit if another junkie overdoses tonight. You only get one chance at a fucking amazing first world, smartphone-having, clean water drinking, so many tv shows on netflix having, jovially bantering on the internet life and you've chosen to spend it getting as high as you possibly can and half-trying to kill yourself. It's damn near 2017, find something else that makes you happy that you don't have to occasionally blow a guy to acquire. There are babies right now in Africa being infected with the AIDS virus because they're getting literally raped due to a rumor that raping a baby cures AIDS. Yet here you fucking sit, oh woe is me, I can't stop doing drugs, nothing else can help my depression, time to kill myself. Yet you can afford the wifi to post your misery.
11 comments
3 Moveinslience 2016-11-10
Upgrade to meth just to guarantee you won't sleep, also try and enjoy yourself
3 OkaySeriouslyBro 2016-11-10
Stop being such a druggie attention whore announcing to the sub that you plan on killing yourself. Donald Trump is about to be sworn is as President of the United States. Do you have any idea whatsoever how entertaining everything is about to get? It doesn't matter if you support him or hate him, he's about to be President and shit's about to get exciting. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start getting hyped.
1 [deleted] 2016-11-10
[deleted]
1 OkaySeriouslyBro 2016-11-10
You got a ticket to the big game you gotta show up to the stadium. Leave at halftime if the game sucks.
Like shit imagine being a ghost, all sober and shit, all unable to do anything except wander around aimlessly and startle dogs. Took your own life so you can't get into heaven or hell, just fucking purgatory. Can't even spy on hot girls in the shower because ghosts have no sex drive.
And the rest of us are laughing, enjoying the absurdity of America now, and then Opie/Jimmy/Ant has some giant scandal and the entire sub bands together to relentlessly shit on them. And you got a great joke, a fucking perfect reference with fantastic burn, but you can't make it because you're a ghost. And then whoever's computer screen your ass is hovering behind decides to go look at cuckold porn, so you float there sadly in his room hoping he finishes up fast and gets back to shitposting because you want to read more about the scandal. Then his dog barks at you.
1 [deleted] 2016-11-10
[deleted]
2 OkaySeriouslyBro 2016-11-10
No I'm not going to tell you where I live because you'd probably steal my PS4 and sell it for drugs you junkie. Just fucking get sober. Have a buddy lock you in your bedroom for 3 weeks with 5 cases of water, 50 cans of chef boyardee, and a bucket to piss and shit in. If there's a fire or you have a heart attack, fuck it you wanted to die anyway.
As much shit as we give Norton or Vos for their holier-than-thou sober attitudes, there's a canyon of difference between how much we respect them and how much we respect Lady "I'm already 4 Nattie Ices in" Di. Get whats left of your life back on fucking track and maybe you can find something that motivates you into staying alive other than your next snort.
I know you think I'm encouraging you but I honestly won't give a shit if another junkie overdoses tonight. You only get one chance at a fucking amazing first world, smartphone-having, clean water drinking, so many tv shows on netflix having, jovially bantering on the internet life and you've chosen to spend it getting as high as you possibly can and half-trying to kill yourself. It's damn near 2017, find something else that makes you happy that you don't have to occasionally blow a guy to acquire. There are babies right now in Africa being infected with the AIDS virus because they're getting literally raped due to a rumor that raping a baby cures AIDS. Yet here you fucking sit, oh woe is me, I can't stop doing drugs, nothing else can help my depression, time to kill myself. Yet you can afford the wifi to post your misery.
1 [deleted] 2016-11-10
[deleted]
1 literalotherkin 2016-11-10
Hopefully he takes your advice.
2 literalotherkin 2016-11-10
as long as you meet a died-blonde prostitute with the body of an olympic gymnast then you'll be alright, fella.
god speed
1 PeeSoup3030 2016-11-10
With every shot make sure you chew 5 or 6 tylenols, you wont last very long
1 liquidmachete 2016-11-10
Yeah but that hurts, an APAP overdose is no easy way to go out. The fuck you think you're dealing with some novice?
1 Mud- 2016-11-10
Has Elizabeth Shue ever unleashed those warlocks on camera?
1 literalotherkin 2016-11-10
Cocktail I think. The waterfall scene. I love it that I knew that instantly. Didn't need to look it up.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2016-11-10
Helium. Stop fucking around and use helium.
1 [deleted] 2016-11-10
[deleted]
1 literalotherkin 2016-11-10
Hopefully he takes your advice.