Was cucked by my gf last night and made to go to Big Amy's show in Denver... AMA (She recorded her new hour special)

43  2016-11-06 by FlowbeeYourTits

  1. She was wrapped head to cankles in stretchy black pleather making her 'very brave'.
  2. She wore 6" stripper heels in a vain attempt to change her proportions.
  3. Is very, very brave - and rich and humble.
  4. Sweated like a hog and had three lady-cucks run out and touch up her makeup 3 times (yelling at them to 'hurry up girls' via the mic).
  5. Used a teleprompter for her comedy and yelled at the prompter operator for not keeping up.
  6. She's so brave you guys - so brave.
  7. Had Club Soda Kenny kick out a heckler after demanding her audience point him out... he yelled, 'put it in your butt' in response to a forgettable line. Brave - so brave, no-nonsense.
  8. Started 40 minutes late because she's having the audience wanded my metal detectors.
  9. Lots of jizz, fucking, fat jokes AND SHE'S SOOOOOO BRAVE.
67 comments

50  Dennyislife 2016-11-06

How many inches can your girl take in her mouth before gagging

36  [deleted] 2016-11-06

Ask her sandwich artist

36  takyon_deathyon 2016-11-06

She really uses a fucking teleprompter? So not only is this cunt physically lazy as shit, she's too mentally lazy to remember her fucking dogshit set? She can't be bothered to memorize jokes she herself didn't even have to write. She's literally a worthless bag of human fat flesh prancing around making gross cow noises.

Also, "Cucked by my gf", yeah nah nigga. Women that men actually want to fuck don't care about Amy Schumer.

27  Dennyislife 2016-11-06

Terry Jones used a teleprompter for the Monty python final gigs. And now just a couple of years later he is nearly fully mute due to a form of dementia. Fingers crossed.

5  FoetusCorruptus 2016-11-06

With her cholesterol, she she won't get within ten years of the average age for the onset of dementia.

3  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

Yep - absolute used and relied on it. I didn't know she was using a prompter until she stopped the show, yelled into the mic, "prompter person, I'm so ahead of you...yep past this...done this... done this... done this... ok, there"... then stepped right back into her act.

I've never been to a special taping, but it had the feel of a television production with lots of 'cut, do my makeup', 'ok, reset this joke', 'edit that out' kinda shit... 2hrs of dogshit...

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

100% used and relied on the prompter... the propter operator got behind and Amy berated them, stopped the show, made them scroll the prompter to the right spot then started again... just fucking weird...

33  [deleted] 2016-11-06

AN O B TAMPON! HELLO, HELLO I LOVE YOU!

27  buttriot 2016-11-06

There's no way someone from this subreddit has a girlfriend

24  peckaface 2016-11-06

What did the bulls cum taste like?

23  JeremyACrosby 2016-11-06

imagine the swamp ass those pleather pants created.

16  Doc_McCoy79 2016-11-06

Amy is the Limp Bizkit of comedians. She was barely around before being thrust into super stardom, didn't have the chops to handle any of it, and became almost instantly over-exposed, lazy, and boring.

17  bridgecrewdave 2016-11-06

I'd rather listen to limp bizkit do stand up than Amy.

16  Lasagna_Hat 2016-11-06

"Ya'll, what's the deal with the nookie?"

7  Zombied77 2016-11-06

"Why is it that someone would do All of it for the nookie?". "Wouldnt Some of it be enough??"

2  iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-11-06

They are a bunch of Girls.

1  [deleted] 2016-11-06

[deleted]

1  SirWallaceII 2016-11-06

she did it all for the nookie (foods high in fructose corn syrup)

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

exactly... funny, but not ready-for-super-stardom-funny...

12  dudeassreal 2016-11-06

Did your girlfriend enjoy it? and if so why are you still with her?

11  yul_brynner 2016-11-06

Because it was Strapon Saturday and flowbee wouldn't miss that for the world.

9  RahnBayngtin 2016-11-06

So wait... let me get this straight. Was she brave?

6  aftershave 2016-11-06

Storming the beaches of Normandy brave. Took a lot of guts, I presume.

2  ChippusMaximus 2016-11-06

Read this in Cartman's voice.

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

so brave you guys...

8  Smokegreentrees 2016-11-06

Did she ask anyone to stand up admit that they were raped? That shouldnt make anyone feel uncomfortable when they are coming to a comedy show.

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

She did have that moment... not the 'stand up for no reason if you were raped' but it was a 'clap if you -insert SJW power button here-' moment.. i forget what it was... but yes - kinda...

2  Smokegreentrees 2016-11-06

Sounds hilarious.

1  MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2016-11-06

Should have audio taped it and leaked it here.

5  Billyassman 2016-11-06

If you are not getting blown every morning before work you need to do the following. Pack up your shit and run.Run run like Forrest Gump. Or next show Dice and sit in the front row.If you choose not to do this you will be fucked for the rest of your pathetic life.godspeed my son.

4  JerseyLowLife 2016-11-06

Girls are funny. Get over your self

2  ChippusMaximus 2016-11-06

Dude you forgot to mention smart.

4  jfral 2016-11-06

Did you laugh? Be honest.

2  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

dude... it was not good. I really think Amy is talented and super-stardom just hit her too fast. I saw her when she was an opener for Jimmy and she's genuinely funny... this special was not good.. definitely 2 hours of 'blech sjw + cum (see how I'm still funny) which will be edited to an 'hour of girl power'... couple of giggles but this was not great.

2  MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2016-11-06

Because her boyfriend Anthony Jeselnik was writing her act.

3  the_kronkez 2016-11-06

Will, look at it this way, a usual night for your gf is slumming in the hood

3  TossyMcSalad 2016-11-06

she really used a teleprompter???

what self-respecting comedian does that? i get politicians running for office, but this is piggish lazyness.

then again, why would amy schumer learn other peoples' written material?

2  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

yes - really.. and 'relied' on it... got lost in her 'set' and berated the prompter operator to keep up... 'scroll, done this, done this, done this... yes here'... then right back into her set... more 'production' and less of a stand up set.

3  TossyMcSalad 2016-11-06

most stand-ups need a year or more to perfect their set. they know it by heart. she just reads some stuff another person wrote for her, doesn't even bother to really learn it.

amazing.

3  HughStink 2016-11-06

So courageous

3  BloodyTomFlint 2016-11-06

Why haven't you answered any questions here and why haven't you killed yourself yet?

Never mind, I think I just answered the first question with the second.

2  assreaper 2016-11-06

did norman open?

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

He did! he is the reason I went... also cause i had to blow the bull in the uber on the way over... but his set was super short. The started about 40 minutes late cause they were scanning the crow with metal detectors so Normand on did like 15 minutes... left... then came back again and did 5 more... disjointed but a fun set.

2  Clivepwnens 2016-11-06

I just wonder if she was brave or cowardly.

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

dude.. she was soooooo brave... you guys... she's so couragous...

2  INeedToHearABam 2016-11-06

Well you supported her shitty act so quit complaining about her

2  AppleBonfire 2016-11-06

Have you ever seen a dude naked?

2  Patmcpsu 2016-11-06

I know she tries to avoid politics, but did she endorse Donald Trump?

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

Oh I've got some bad news for you sir...

2  BamsLynsiStuffer 2016-11-06

Thank you for sharing. Now prep the bull, faggot.

1  MedicatedHead 2016-11-06

How did Sherrod's cum taste, fag?

12  rbz90 2016-11-06

Dassajizzo

1  hoogityboogitiesRIP 2016-11-06

Our bois club here really is the last bastion of hope

1  Jockel76 2016-11-06

Where does Amy get her ideas from?

1  im_not 2016-11-06

I bet after half an hour on stage that hog's pussy smelled like sour milk

1  JPSouthampton 2016-11-06

is it true that they do an intermission at every one of her shows and wheel a trough out for her to eat out of?

1  NicNacAttack 2016-11-06

I've heard this too

1  [deleted] 2016-11-06

[deleted]

1  NumeroOtto 2016-11-06

you read a teleprompter at a rally not a comedy special

1  LutheranProfessor 2016-11-06

for me, the worst thing is that she's yelling at the people working for her onstage...unless of course she was yelling in a "funny" way.

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

it was definitely 'snotty, hurry your ass up', but delivered through a fake smile in an attempt to not sound as bitchy... several times...

1  RacistPigeon 2016-11-06

If any man goes to a Big Amy show, cuck is too lite a title for him.

1  RacistPigeon 2016-11-06

If any man goes to a Big Amy show, cuck is too lite a title for him.

-3  [deleted] 2016-11-06

I know you jokingly called yourself a cuck, but you're really fucking pathetic not only for going to the show but for having a girlfriend who enjoys Big Amy.

9  Puddinlegzz 2016-11-06

Lots of girlfriends like Amy

0  [deleted] 2016-11-06

Girls who like Big Amy are not worth making your girlfriend.

2  truthie 2016-11-06

Says the incel virgin haha.

6  [deleted] 2016-11-06

Excuse you I'm volcel.

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2016-11-06

I have no defense. You are correct sir. I like the taste of bull semen.

5  FoetusCorruptus 2016-11-06

With her cholesterol, she she won't get within ten years of the average age for the onset of dementia.

12  rbz90 2016-11-06

Dassajizzo

2  iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-11-06

They are a bunch of Girls.

7  Zombied77 2016-11-06

"Why is it that someone would do All of it for the nookie?". "Wouldnt Some of it be enough??"

1  [deleted] 2016-11-06

[deleted]