What do you think Anthony Cumia's WILL looks like? And who gets what?

1  2016-11-03 by TangerineReam

The definite items/assets that we know of on the docket are:

-The house in Roslyn Heights, NY

-The items in/around the Roslyn house

-The apt. in NYC

-The items in the apt.

-2-3 cars (including one black Escalade)

-Compound Media (including all programming and merchandising)

-various stocks and bonds

-any remaining money

-Beavis

I'd wager that even though Joe Cumia has been getting checks for decades; Dawn is probably going to inherit the majority of the property and items, unbeknownst to Joe. As we all know -on some level- Anthony had his arm twisted by his brother to support him...so since he couldn't get out of it, he probably resolved to give Dawn the majority of the property in his will; at least 75%-80% (being the house and apt. plus miscellaneous items inside). Keith and his wife Ange will probably get the remaining 25%-20%, along with Joe Curry, Big A, Jimmy(?), etc. Joe wasn't there when the will was drafted obviously, so it's a perfect opportunity for Ant to unintentionally leave Joe out of a million things, since he's been getting a handout for years.

Compound Media will be taken over by Keith and Gavin, for sure. At some point, even before Ant's eventual alcoholic-ambien fueled death; Gavin will (probably) buy a majority share into the network before he's 50 -effectively overriding Keith- so he can run the content away from the various man-childs that infest it, to an alt-right/neu-right hub that'll actually turn a profit, bringing in people like Ezra Levant as investors/contributors.

Ant's stock and bond holdings will probably be evenly distributed throughout the family, but probably more so to his direct nieces and nephews. I'm sure he's set up trust funds for them already. Guys like this -who are vaguely smart- who go from being poor to having just under 10-20 million in cash or assets (might be an embellishment these days), have a tendency to set up trust funds that include their children, their siblings, their siblings kids, or all three. Ant will NEVER have kids, and he's already giving stupid fuckup Joe a handout. So if this assessment is close to being on the ball; the rest of the money, stocks and bonds are probably set up in a trust for both Dawn and Joe's KIDS (with the stock dividend's paying out to the trust), since it would accrue more value in their kids lifetimes, and Dawn would be getting the majority of the property anyway.

Joe will probably be left with the cars in the will. Hopefully The Jim and Sam show will get Beavis.

TL;DL: Joe gets NOTHING. aaaahh PECKAS.

9 comments

You should really get a job.

Lol, right

Why give this much of a fuck

...it was an opportunity to bash Brother Joe

yeah well you're not good at it

It'll have everyone's name crossed out and covered up with "Brother Joe", written in crayon.

It all goes to Bobo as a last bit.

I like this idea.

I think he leases the Escalade. I shouldn't know that, but I do.

Are you Howard Stern?

I like this idea.