Someone asked for my PayPal.. fuck, I ain't saying no to payola! paypal.me/peckahs (it's real, tried to keep it memorable for ya lovlies)

After seemingly bragging about - or at the very least admitting - the number of bridges he's burned and how difficult of a spot being a constant dick has put him in... Oqie has so far:

1) Shit on Jenny McCarthy and said she was too happy

2) E-Rock said, "Hey, at least she's doing it. Most celebrities are out in 6 months".

• ME (with the maniacal laughter and spin): HAHAHAHAHA HAHA See! Even E-Rock is shitting on her, too!.

• E-Rock "I'm not shitting on her, I'm giving her props for actually DOING her show. She actually comes in every day to do it." (obviously shitting on Tits)

• ME: It's mind boggling how many celebrities come and go and they think they can do a show. They don't understand, it's a special SKILL to do radio, Kenny.

3) Shit on former co-worker and way more successful celebrity, Betheny Frankel, calling her a bitch and a twat.

4) Shit on Cowhead but said a LOT of celebrities reached out to him, a lot of PEOPLE reach out to him, a lot FANS reached out to him. A lot of people apologizing for how they treated him over the last couple of years!

5) Kenny says GH has come a long way and is generally ball washing, as per usual. Oqie has "worked on himself a little bit. But you blew off your therapist, I hung in there. Why did you blow off your therapist?" Deflectdeflectdeflect.

6) Cowhead says "Kenny's Fun Facts should be a staple of this show!" What a horrible idea. Kenny says he's smart. Oqie has a HILARIOUS Fun Fact: if you put glasses on Tim Kaine, you have a dead ringer for Charles Nelson Reilly... h..aaaha..? That is neither fun nor a fact.

7) Kenny eats breakfast at a diner!!

8) Cowhead is trying to suck Oqie's dick to do a show with Oqie. Kenny says he's jealous because he's still stuck in mornings too. Brother Wease said "WHAT ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT". Apparently he said would take a paycut in a SECOND to do afternoons. Oqie understands the upsides but he was "done dirty". Wease might call in later.. riveting.

9) @Opieshow is the new Twitter.. who cares

10) Kenny wants some girl named Carmen from Cowhead to accept his friend request on Facebook. She's aight.. definitely a Florida 8.

11) Yesterday was "fun" and "dare I say, reminded me of the good times."

12) Now they're just plugging social media.

13) Kenny: "Well see, GH, that's the beauty of you. You don't have to know everything, you just have to be smart enough to know where to find the answers. That's why you have people." What the actual fuck does that mean? You're retarded but you're smart enough to have other people "get knowledge" for you?

14) Kenny drove Oqie home yesterday but his "phone was ringing off the FAWKIN hook! Everyone was calling! I had phone calls all the way home!" Dude, it's a 20 minute drive. You took one, maybe TWO calls.

15) ME: "I'm kinda like a little girl today."

16) More Cowhead stuff, Kenny wants to bang that Carmen chick apparently.

17) Billy Joel channel is back! Barbra Streisand is out! Opie is FAWKIN PISSED that YawtRawk is gone. Although he knew it was seasonal and in another of my hate hug threads, there was a sweeper that mawked Yawt Rawk.

18) Cowhead will be here the week of Thanksgiving...

19) Kenny and Opie both have seasonal allergies!!! Kenny wanted to get an allergy shot today because he has a Jewish doctor.

• ME: The Jews are taking off during allergy season? That's cuh-RAY-zee!

• CSK: "I thought you were only supposed to take off Monday and Tuesday. I don't know what he's doing today. I guess he's still blowing the chauffeur. That's one of the things they have to do. Then you have to dip food in honey for a sweet New Year or something."

• ME: Right, does it feel like you're in a sauna? I turned up the heat and it's REAL-hahaha-LY FAWKIN hot in here! You're sweating profusely! Can we turn the heat all the way down. I don't know why.. WHY there's so much heat in the air right now. (nigga is legit retarded)

20) CSK: The first break was shitting on Bob Saget and Jenny McCarthy, the second break was shitting on the company.

• ME: hurrdurr plllllll vomit, deflects from accepting responsibility to reading the NY Post. He's pretending that he's so embarrassed and disgusted by the article but immediately gets pissed off that they got the time of the show wrong..

21) CSK: Famous person is on the hotline. Oqie doesn't want to take a call "because they had a flow going there." Tss maybe a sewer flow.

22) Ugh.. it's Kevin Pollack. Can't wait to hear how Oqie weasels out of Vos shitting on him yesterday. Pollack saying they needed a break but it was great to hear them talk yesterday. Oqie doesn't want this spun. I doubt this call is going anywhere.

23) Tits wants to do "started thinking there was maybe some things that we can do within that (O&A) brand that maybe might give us a little space, a little freedom. Anthony got unFAIRly got fired, I-I-I-I've said that from Day 1. Then he was thrown out on his ass then only I looked like the asshole for some reason. Only I." uuuuuuuuggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh

24) Oqie asks if he can get the footage from Misery Loves Comedy that he didn't use because the fans would love that shit. Pollack says he would love that too, so let's make it happen.

• ME: (in affected voice) Aww.. that means he wants moneymoneymoney... MOOONAAAY!

• KP: No, I don't. I dont' give a shit.

• ME: Hahahaha, I'm fucking with you! (he was not)

25) Oh wait, Kevin is just calling his plug his new movie. Never mind, thought someone gave a shit.

26) ME: So, uhhh, h-h-h-how-how many hours can you drive your electric car before you have to plug back in?

KP: "Hahaha, that's so.. weird.. it's SO weird.. it's SO WEIRD of you to pinpoint the negativity of this particular machine."

27) They're babbling about nothing. Opie is shitting on some painting his grandmother made him or something. He's BLOWN away that Kevin Pollack follows him on Instagram. What a sad "man".

28) KP: "I'm super excited to have you on the radio in this particular way." what a nice little fuck you.

29) He's just fumbling through the NY Post article. Tits is SURE the hate will be back tomorrow but for now, it's FUN to have all this buzz!

30) Scott Greenstein fucked Oqie the hardest... thanks for the spoilers faggots, I'm guessing he allegedly hung up on the President?!

31) Opie is trying to claim that yesterday happened organically although he admitted earlier in the show that he knew Anthony was calling in.

32) FUCKING HOME RUN KENNY!

• CSK: "Okay, before we get to the calling part, this is what you work with your therapist about projection, how we learn NOT to project."

• ME: ..what do you mean?

• CSK: "Like, you always thought it was like a negative, like a bad thing, like you projected that. Like, ya know, you don't project.

• E-rock: "He's (trying) to say, if you think it's going to be negative, it's going to be negative."

• CSK: "Yea, don't project."

• ME: I don't know what that means

• E-rock: "The power of positive thinking."

• ME (in high-pitched defensive voice): I grew up with the power of positive thinking!

• E-rock: "No you didn't..."

• CSK & ME: POWE^EER TO THA PEOPULLLLL

33) ME: So I call SG and all of a sudden, he picks up, (isn't that how fucking phones work?) and says, "that was amazing!" He actually said that was amazing. And you know what I said, E-Rock? I said of COURSE it was fucking amazing. And I hung up with him.

20 seconds later....

• ME: Instead of making it worse, I should make it better? Actually, I didn't hang up on him because I'm not in a position to have balls right now (or ever, really).

SG apparently said he still has a warm spot in his heart for Anthony.

• ME: What does that mean?

• E-Rock: "Okay, so let's build from there."

• ME: SG said I need to know I'm the star in this situation, I know you don't think you are, but I'm telling you I need you to- what, Eric? Why are you rubbing your head on the microphone.

• E-Rock (defeated): "Never mind.. just continue.."

34) Oqie asks CSK to "do voices"... just like he did with Vos yesterday.. gives him DeNiro and Stallone.. for literally no reason other than he's not clever.

35) ME: "I KNOW I'm going to CAHRUSH it in the afternoons for SG. So that's good, right? And then hung up on him and I just go, "RRRRRRRRR!!!!!"

He JUST said he lied about hanging up on him... Ughh...

36) Jewy Gold and Kevin Brennan guests today. Call with Brother Wease later. And y'all hated Bruce Campbell and Rick Astley, tsk tsk.

37) Jewy Gold enters with, "AFTERNOON DELLIIIIIGHT. SHA.. SHA.. SHALOM! Wait, what is it? Lashanah Tovah, Happy New Year!" (what a shitty Jew, it's Shanah Tovah)

ME: I FAWKIN HATE this broad.

38) Allergy chat for five minutes! YAAAY!

39) Oqie says it's amazing that he doesn't have to get up at 5 or nap anymore. Oqie has lost the ability to be there for his/Bam's children and he lost the ability to spend all day with them although he just admitted he napped "all the time". JG then says well at least you won't be a tired asshole. Oqie immediately turns tail and admits he was a tired asshole and wasn't giving it his all and wasn't there 100% for Hudson and Susquehanna Hughes, who apparently thinks he's a god.

40) Just Jewing around about allergies, matzo ball soup, CSK being psuedo-Jew, snoring, Oqie can't remember for the 50th time what the "fire escape holiday is"... Sukkot. Mikveh. Jewy has given CSK the title of "Jewy annoying Jew".

41) Tits has been trying to throw to commercial for ages. Kenny is doing shit awful Catskill Comics "jokes" like "MY GRANDFATHER DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST.. HE FELL FROM A WATCH TOWER" and "MY SNORING IS GOOD. YA KNOW WHY? YA KNOW WHY MY SNORING IS GOOD? CUS MY WIFE WILL GET OUT OF BED AND GO ON THE COUCH. THAT MAKES IT GOOD."

42) More Jewing including snoring, sleep apnea, Woody Allen..

---

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11) Kevin Hart's new movie!.... AGAIN!!

12) Jim Norton's reader for Ash vs. Evil Dead

13) Opie Radio is back!

• ME: You got that right, Judy Gold! We're back, yuh, Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride, released this day is NINETEEN SIXTY EIGHT!

---

Fuck do I really have to do part 2?

1) Brother Wease on the phone! Came home from Vietnam in 1968! He tells Opie to stop whining. Brother Wease is the reason Oqie has Judy Gold on his show.. Opie was scared of Judy Gold, presumably because he doesn't like other large breasted, whiny bitches. This is the last day Brother Wease can talk, hopefully forever for helping Tittyboy.

2) Kenny is making bad teenager jokes... and he actually sounds A LOT like Chris DeStefano. Can anyone confirm if that is, in fact, the bit?

3) Wease is a gambling addict and his poker game is betting "huge fawkin money that he won't not talk". Rough year for Wease: wife had titty rot and lost her hair, Tony D some restaurant owner in Rochester died, Wease has a condo in Ft. Lauderdale (CRUSHING it) and Tony's lover was living there and dropped dead four months before Tony, and in his words, "and then my boy Opie takes a fucking in his keister", and he's got some polyps from Agent Orange or something probably an Opie lie. He's taking a leave of absence and isn't getting paid.

4) Wow, Opie is literally Brother Wease, "Ya know, if I didn't have an Ace in the hole, there'd be trouble. Here's the funniest part, Opie. I'll probably get in trouble, but I gotta tell ya. I'm not allowed to plug because I'm on, uh, I'm on, what did I just call that shit that I'm on? It's a not paying me but a percent, I'm not allowed to call in if I could speak, they're not allowed to do anything." What the actual fuck does any of that mean?

5) Apparently Rochester's daytime radio is hurting so bad they can't afford secretaries. Yet Oqie thinks he was legitimately going to get a solid deal from terrestrial while he was "feeling out the interest out there and there was quite a bit."

6) Babbling about ROBOTS THAT PARK CARS! Jewy Gold is at least self-aware to know that everyone hates it when she goes JEWJEWJEWJEWJEW but doesn't stop her from referring to being Jewish. Kevin Brennan just shows up without an intro and they're babbling about parking cars. Judy talking about her kids doing homework using voice-activated calculators. CSK says it's cheating to say, "what's 12.58 x 14".... how? Opie says "I DON'T KNOW EVERYONE IS TALKING AT THE SAME TIME, WEASE WILL TELL YA, EVERYONE TALKING AT THE SAME TIME IS BAD RADIO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON."

7) Detective Morality CSK admits he cheated off people when he was in school and look where it got him. Because if he cheated off people who applied themselves a little better, he could have been something!

8) Now it's just Kevin Brennan talking loudly, Jewy interrupting and talking over him with her sexy banshee shrieks, and they're telling each other to go fuck themselves while Wease is, well, wheezing his way to an early grave.

BUUUUURP

9) Everyone shitting on Paul Mercurio, who is much bigger than all of them because he opens for Colbert while KB panhandles every episodes and Jewy is doing free plays in the park.

10) Third Jew: Vos! I'm assuming appearing on this dumpster fire is some atonement for early Yom Kippur because no one should do this show willingly. Vos is PISSED. Oqie made him leave his golf game to call in, presumably because he can't get anyone else, and made him wait 20 minutes. He's also pissed because Oqie hasn't mentioned him once, which is true because Oqie is a self-absorbed, deluded ass. Vos shit on Kevin Pollack last night and is living Oqie took his call before him. Oqie thinks they're even because he left in Vos's plug for his CD in his YouTube videos, which all of 3,500 people will see. CSK is shitting on Vos's linguistic and grammatical inaccuracies - the irony!

11) More shitting on Mercurio although he's the only one with a steady job. More Jewdy jewing jewily. Oqie trying to sound cool like he's booked solid and might be able to fit Vos in next week. Bonnie was a no-show which is why Jewdy was tapped and also because her career, like her fertility, is long passed.

12) Vos trying to sign off, Oqie half-plugs his CD, Brennan who already admitted he listened yesterday said, "isn't that old-fashioned? who uses CD's anymore"

• ME: I ffffawkin said that yesterday! (<-- he also still doesn't have a CD player, btw, in case you forgot)

13) More Jewing.

• KB: "How does a New Year last three days? You Jews are so greedy..." An actually hilarious pregnant pause.

• ME: Oh, I thought you were going to say something else!

• CSK: "Rosh Hashanah was mentioned in the book of Levitikkkuss. Rosh Hashanah is the anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve."

-JG (as loudly and obnoxiously as one can scream into a mic): "NO IT ISN'T!!!! THAT IS NAWT TH.. IT IS NAWT, NO IT'S NAWT.. WE DON'T HAVE ONE GUY WHO'S A FUCKING LEADER, WE DONT' LISTEN TO ONE GUY. YEAH YOU HAVE ONE GUY WHO DECIDES UP SHIT. N.N.N.N.N.N.N.N.N.N.N.N.N.NO. WE REINTERPRET THINGS, NO ONE TELLS US WHAT THE FUCK TO DO. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING MOTHER FUCKER!

• KB: "That's a child's story, no one gives a shit about Adam and Eve. You guys don't even know. Who's your leader? Who's your fucking leader? Steven Speilberg? Who's your FUCKING leader. We have the pope. You guys make up your own shit like the guys with the hats with the black jackets. It's just a bunch of bullshit." <-- okay, I take back my Kevin Brennan hate. He's a HILARIOUS anti-semite.

- JG: "You know what, the mayor of Dublin is Jewish, did you know that?" (This guy doesn't look Jewish nor is Carr is Jewish surname.. This bitch definitely ain't Jewish and I don't even know how to pronounce vowels with apostrophes on them)

• KB: "You guys get any decent job. You take the jobs away form hard-working Irish people. Lawyers.."

- JG: "Oh, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's so true. Yeah, cus we wanna, fucking, be like, ya know, cops because we're really good with that shit."

• KB: "No, you wanna be- A lot of Irish guys are lawyers and then you heard about that and went, 'let's take those jobs.'"

14) They're gonna get Lenny on the phone to figured out whether Italian-Americans can take off work for Columbus Day like Jews take off months for their 2038409234 holidays. At least point it's just loud noises. Break coming?

Kevin Brennan on Red Eye tonight. Kenny interrupting with more inane babble. Jewdy will be fisting her girlfriend live at the Village Underground tonight. Eww.. she's actually used a strap-on.. I need that eye bleach. I'd rather imagine Hillary Clinton stripping that this. I wish she'd take a page out of her shrill book and

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

15) Shocking that Kevin Brennan, Jewdy Gold, and Oqie yell at their kids since they're incapable of speaking in normal decibel levels or tones. Oqie asks for his 203984th time if spanking as a kid is now their fetish. Jewdy playing at Feinstein's Heeby McJeebies Kippot Emporium

---

Break 2

1) Amy Schumer's "I'll have a small popcorn teeheehee" bit...

2) PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE #2 ON 13 SIRIUSXM CHANNELS. NOBODY BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO THE 2016 PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN THAN SIRIUSXM POLITICS.. (this is not a joke.. satellite radio will bring you the closest to debates..)

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(100,000 procedures/year)/(365 days/year)=

(273 procedures/day)/(24 hours/day)=

11 procedures/hour is 1 procedure every 5.3 minutes, 24 hours a day for 20 years straight.. I'm not buying it.

4) If you or someone you love is suffering from hearing loss... you and they are REALLY fucking lucky to be tuning into OqieRaqio. ListenClear, 1-800-713-3227

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6) In a world where Kevin Hart is a comedic rock star... Tit's got a nigga...

z show promotin' today! Third time!

7) Tip off for a new NBA season is just weeks away! SiriusXM NBA radio. Wow, Opie really can't get advertisers that aren't SXM channels or artists, huh?

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9) The same CPAP commercial from last break...

10) What's the scariest thing about going to the dentist? Opening your mouth or opening your wallet? This is REAL dental insurance, which as I've always maintained definitely means it's "real" dental insurance. 1-800-500-9481

11) HEY WORLD'S IT'S KEVIN HART..... A FUCKING GAIN!

12) OqieRaqio... is back! With more Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song.. they just played the entire song to dead air... Denny Falcone would be LIVID with no talking.

---

1) They're back.. I really don't think I can do the last break. Although he announced it's the anniversary of Led Zeppelin III, Oqie does NOT believe Immigrant Song is on Led Zeppelin III. It is, of course, the first track on the first side of the first album. But, of course, Oqie knows shit about music that isn't U-2-U.

2) Oqie, being the savant he is, says "HEY JEWDY HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF LEZ ZEPPELIN?!"

JG: "OH MY GAWD THEY'VE PERFORMED ON THE SHOW, YOU GOTTA INVITE ME ANY TIME THERE'S A LEZZY IN HERE.."

3) Screw it, it's just Jewdy SHRIEKING about nonsense, Kevin Brennan yelling back because she's a cunt, Oqie interjecting with whatever banal tidbit of trivia like "STEVEN HAWKINGS CHEATED ON HIS WIFE!" he can regurgitate, and Club Soda Kenny interjecting with hilarious dunce lines.

It's been fun, try not to kill yourselves :-*