Joseph Cumia is coming up with ideas to get his "girlfriend" out of jury duty

27  2016-09-12 by [deleted]

[deleted]

67 comments

She should tell them she's dating Joe Cumia.

Dismissed!

You forgot the #.

Guilty by association!

The Nigger Killer Joe Cumia?

Don't you hate all the black on black crime?

what a cornball balding faggot

Hashtagging in texts, what a monstrous zero.

He wants his fan to start a twitter trend.

his public tweets are essentially a 1 on 1 affair anyway

Part of him believes that he has enough pull to get one of his catchphrases trending on Twitter it's humiliating

"I'm gonna be honest with you, Joe. There is no jury duty. I just don't want to be with you."

[deleted]

[deleted]

Everytime this guy makes a joke he shares it and is so proud of it, hey guys look how funny I am huhuhuhuh, he's as bad as Opie

Even opie doesn't throw out that many awful jokes at one time.

You're right he's worse

He reminds me of Paulie Walnuts repeating his unfunny jokes.

Literally nothing he wrote was funny but he still has to share it with the world as if it's a crime his biting wit is confined only to his girlfriend.

It's so fucking cringey. If you scroll up those texts he's probably asking her to wash his cosplay outfits.

Hey Tone, dijhear that? I said "Mr. Ed's first cousin' eheheheh

You know, no offense but you ever had yourself checked for Tourette's Syndrome? Seriously. "Heh, heh. Heh, heh." Maybe you got a tic or somethin'?

Hey Tone! YA hear what I said? I asked Sil if he remembered his first blowjob he said yea then I SAID what was the guys name? A HA HA HA HA HA!!!

SATANIC BLACK MAGIC. SICK SHIT.

FUCKIN' QUEERS!

I love how he throws a chair at where he thinks the ghosts are

It really is the funniest show ever

Sil, dijahear what I told him? Told him I went over there for a blow job...Your mother was working the bonbon concession at the eiffel tower.

Imagine being a judge and having to deal with these assholes every day.

This is a 55yr old man with a child using hashtags in text messages. Let that sink in a bit.

making "living" impersonating someone successful while in a band.

She's an enabler. She knows he isn't funny, she just feeds into it so we can have gold here

a saint on oit

nu uh she said he was killer her.

joe is #Retarded

Tell 'em you're looking for the trial of the wop savage that kicked in a childs ribs #CumiaPride

who the fuck uses hashtags when they're texting someone? Isn't he old enough to be a great grandpa? What is wrong with him?

What about granthonys pissy eyes laughing emoji

Joe wishes the case on his meal-ticket younger brother would get #dismissed

he should kill himself, she can claim the distress has put her in a fragile state of mind. #Dismissed

Everyday is a laugh riot with Diamond Joe Cumia

What do you call a second-hand gold digger?

[deleted]

[deleted]

Nothing even remotely humorous written by him. No surprise there.

By girlfriend he means the guy he pays to shit on his chest once a week.

And you're telling me THIS guy wasn't the one who landed the steady radio gig??

Mr. Ed references in 2016. What an awful old man he is.

What a load of fucking trying way too hard bombs.

[deleted]

it took him a half an hour to come up with this comic gold. hey Joe, I hear Jackie Martling is looking for writers for his next bbq.

Tell them you need to be home to provide minute-by-minute care for your severely retarded live-in partner.

Using hashtags in a text message is something 13 year old girls are above.

Mr. Ed? Sick movie ref, bra. Makes Ant's Terri Schiavo jokes seem topical.

Wow.

That's one of the worst things I've ever seen.

He is stealing from "1000 Ways to Get Out of Jury Duty".

Ooof God Damn.

Clearly trying to channel his younger successful brother. Who's actually funny. Pathetic.

Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where George is trying to be the funny one instead of Jerry to that chick. Joe is so fucking George

So when it comes to doing their countries duties, something as simple as sitting in on jury duty, Joe makes up horrible and unfunny excuses to skirt the law so he doesn't have to serve. Or in this case so his soon-to-be-smashed-in-the-face-with-a-frying-pan fiancee doesn't have to serve.

For some reason, if a black or Hilary supporter did this we'd have a different type post.

HOME RUN, CHIPPERSON

My old man's peggy bank is pending trial for smackin' up his old lady. #Dismissed

Imagine how much a woman would have to hate herself to even tolerate such a dork speaking to her.

Funny that he thought he was on such a roll, he just couldn't let the convo go unseen by his adoring fans.

"Wait until they see this comedy gold. I bet even the Reddit haterz change their minds about me now!"

what an attention hungry little faggot nigger.

Why is this worthless prick so pleased with himself all the time? He's a failed musician who lives off handouts from his baby brother. God I hate this cunt.

I don't know who Carol is but she sounds like an absolute gem...

[deleted]

Helping someone get out of jury duty? How incredibly anti American. Goddamn. Joe is dumb.

Chip Cumiason. What a faggot, if his woman finds any one of those texts funny then she deserves to die with him

Joe is like that random old dude that shows up to the open mic on Wednesday night and thinks "he's killing." Why is he putting hashtags in FB messages.

Wait I got a good one... Tell them you hate fucking kike niggers and shit... FAWKIN CASE DISMISSED!!!!

He should just crack her in the skull with a frying pan, I'm sure that will get her dismissed.

How is he able to type his girlfriends responses too?

I'm just in shock he knows the difference between "you're" and "your..."

Tss, dis guys good.

this is #EMBARRASSING

[deleted]