I'm going to get my first asian massage today

7  2016-09-11 by [deleted]

[deleted]

28 comments

I've been to four different places in my area (Aurora, CO).

One did nothing, it was hilarious. The lady couldn't speak english at all so when she finished and left I just layed there, thinking she was coming back. She eventually did, but only to tell me to get dressed. Also off putting was that the individual rooms had about a foot wide gap and the top to the next room and the entire time I could hear the guy manager of the place talking on the phone in Vietnamese.

Two places only did hj. At one of them I could sometimes convince the girl to take her tits out, but the massage itself was shittily impersonal. The other place I once got the girl to lift her shirt and pull down her pants but she was wearing a bra and panties. But their actual massage was better. By "better" I mean only that they straddle you while working your back.

There's one place by the Denver Dumb Friends League (which is an animal shelter that's existed forever, hence calling pets "dumb" because they can't talk I guess?) that does full-service. The first two times I went there, the girl was waifish and kinda uggo and hilariosly had a giant machete wound-looking scar down her back, but she did a cool thing where repeadedly during the massage she would reach underneath my pelvis to tweedle my dick. I went back there a year or so later and there was a girl named Yumi that looked like Sakura Sena. I would pay her for a 90 min. session and jizz twice and in between she would lay next to me kissing and licking my face while getting me hard again by rubbing her thigh between my legs. I started even asking for her by name, then even was calling ahead to make sure she was working that day.

... Um, I now realize you are asking for practical advice and not my "Letters to Penthouse" crazy nonsense. Sorry budday. Usually they will have prices posted. When it comes time for the business, sometimes they ask you for the tip then, sometimes they don't. I've never been to a place that like held me up for a tip afterwards, but if they don't ask, you should probably just remember on your way out to tell the girl, "Hay I fawwkin banged ya in ya cootah wit' my big fuckin' fat peckah. Mahbe I'll come back an' put my fuckin' peckah in ya butt and make it fart or sunp'in."

This got me hard.

Check my Etsy, I just self-published a collection of erotic sonnets.

girl named Yumi

lol, one of the most common AMP names for some reason.

You should've married her.

I understood her in a way no one else ever could...

It's very important you let them know immediately what you are there for. Remember English is not their native language so you will need to tell them you want the "happy-wank-wank-super-time"while gesturing with your hand. They'll understand.

whatever you do, don't shit on the mattress

Mattress? What high end spots are you going to?

Expect latent hatred

The ugly ones let you get more for less.

Ask if they have a Malaysian. Say it slowly and deliberately so they understand you perfectly.

Yes, you need tips

dont touch any of their towels with ur dick

Don't tell me how to run my life, sir.

I just don't want you to get aids brother🙈 good luck tho

make sure the sign says foot massage. My friend says that code for a happy ending.

Maybe your 1st and last.

Physical violence.

Tell her you want the head of your cock sucked clean off. Slide an extra 50 over and let them know you're not leaving until your cock's been sucked clean off your body.

How big was her cock? Decent for an Asian?

[deleted]

Yeah don't? Attractive Asian sex workers are rarer than true love.

Where u live?

What was her name?

Leelee? I dunno how to spell it

Where was this? Thats damn expensive. In Thailand a full body massage + sex is usually like $40.

Austin. I guess that's gentrification for ya!

Re: your edit: Did... Did you tell her about your fuckin peckah?

Check my Etsy, I just self-published a collection of erotic sonnets.