r/opieandanthony: Schumer completely lied in her book about the Charlie Sheen roast to make herself look like she stuck it to a rapist

This is written like it's a biography of a 3rd party she has great admiration for. No one's book about themselves should sound like they're impressed by what they're describing. That's fucking nauseating.

32 CookieHaid 2016-08-22

EXACTLY what I was feeling as I read this. An Opiesque "THANK you!" is in order. "Her" writing is like Chip riffin': Yeah...so den i fawkin got everyone laffin wen i told dis realy funny joke dat ill describe verbatim...

19 SNAPINTOASLIMJIMOHYE 2016-08-22

If only there were some type of radio show where the disc jockeys say shocking things about people like this. That would be great. They could bring in comedians and just riff and goof on these people who are too big for their britches. A man can dream... a man can dream.

10 DamonTyler 2016-08-22

I'd prefer a show about a retarded 50yo man whose transitioning, and a spinless aids patient who is desperate for money.

That sounds like raqio gold

1 jfoughe 2016-08-22

Exactly. Who wants to read this shit? "First I said this hilarious thing, but THEN I said this hilarious thing. Here's some proselytizing no one asked for. But also and then I also said this hilarious thing."

43 Mayonnaise_Monster 2016-08-22

Tyson was innocent.

When asked about the incident years later he replied, "I didn't rape her, but now I wish I did"

Only an innocent man would think that. He did the time, why not commit the crime.

9 DeclanGunn 2016-08-22

Yeah, if I remember he says in the Tyson documentary that he even had "taken advantage" of women before, but not in the incident that he was arrested for. He's obviously not hesitant about discussing any of the shit he's done in the past, call me a sucker but I'm convinced that he would admit to it at this point if it were actually true.

6 yourunconscious 2016-08-22

We're talking about a woman who steals bits, and yet here you are stealing Patrice's bit about Tyson as your own.

2 frrunkis 2016-08-22

It's not an uncommon opinion

3 yourunconscious 2016-08-22

So it's just a coincidence huh

3 alt213 2016-08-22

Parallel thinking.

1 Superbad415 2016-08-22

Basic physcology is Patrice's bit?

42 DickensCoffee 2016-08-22

How dumb do you have to be to blatantly lie about an event that people can look up with a four second search on YouTube?

23 DamonTyler 2016-08-22

Same kind of dumb that denies ever having someone as a writer for their show, despite him having an emmy

4 blackirishlad 2016-08-22

and to put it in writing, and publish it for the world to see.

that's not a post you can just delete.

36 Molly_Whop 2016-08-22

Patrice had a bit about Tyson saying he wished he actually raped the bitch after he was convicted which signified his innocence. I couldn't agree more.

12 satsamsit 2016-08-22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLVSURlFoQs

8 ihaveaholeinmyass 2016-08-22

arggggggg... I can't make it to the end.. fuckin oooooooooooffffff!!!!!!

5 tonyorlando 2016-08-22

I've heard this multiple times but watching it is so much worse

6 thissiteruinedme 2016-08-22

https://youtu.be/qlRawW--T24?t=9m27s

1 stinkskc 2016-08-22

Damn. Just watched that whole thing. Mike's for sure innocent

1 [deleted] 2016-08-22

[deleted]

35 Goodfellas234012 2016-08-22

A couple of days after the roast, Steve-O got a message from Jeff Ross saying that Amy feels bad about the Ryan Dunn joke and she's getting death threats online. So Steve-O tweeted his fans to stop sending death threats because she feels bad about the joke. Then a few days later, Amy is going to interviews talking about how she doesn't regret the joke, and acting like a fearless badass. Here's Steve-O interview

5 stinkskc 2016-08-22

He laughs so hard at his jokes haha. Man fuck Amy

29 TakesTheWrongSideGuy 2016-08-22

Can people stop perpetuating the lie that Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington. It's pretty clear Mike Tyson got fucked over. Desiree Washington was a lying piece of shit that had a history of claiming to be raped when she wasn't. Tysons lawyer was a joke and his management was not any better. Tyson said he didn't rape her but he's don't alot of awful things in his life so he deserved to be there anyway. Miss Washington was pissed because Mike Tyson fucked her and chucked her. She tried to sell her story to the tabloids before going to the police and her own cousin said she fabricated a story to make money. Amy Shumer just tows the feminist line and regurgitates whatever bullshit she assumes will fit that narrative. Mike Tyson was no angel but he didn't rape miss Washington. And at this point it's pretty clear he's determined to just live a normal laid back life.

18 pbpble 2016-08-22

If the glove don't fit.. Buy an oven mitt or sumthin t$ssss

2 hopkraken 2016-08-22

I mean, when a guy says flat out to the press that he wished he raped her so that he was going to jail for a reason spells out his innocence to me. Nobody is that forward if they're lying.

18 xxmikekxx 2016-08-22

She would never do all those fat jokes today, and not just because most of them could be applied to her.

17 i_saw_nothing 2016-08-22

That roast was pretty epic in that it was the first time the general public saw Amy, Patrice, and Jeselnik.

Jeselnik got a show that was canceled, Patrice got a career boost that was cancelled, and Amy flew to super-stardom and eventually threw her head writer under a bus.

Everything blows.

3 Superbad415 2016-08-22

Amy flew to super-stardom and eventually threw her head under a bus.

ahhh just dreaming big boys...dreaming big.

17 sanfrancisco69er 2016-08-22

This was back when she was playing her "white" character who's every word was written by Jeselnik.

14 never_say_negro 2016-08-22

He's not trying to interrupt her you idiot.

why are you yelling at me?!?

11 ArmchairFabio 2016-08-22

I saw Metzger was a writer on this roast. Apparently he wrote fattys jokes? I always thought the comics on these roasts wrote their own material, but they sure do have a lot of writers credited.

16 Slippery_Slope_Guy 2016-08-22

Lol, no way do they write their own jokes. Giraldo, Ross, Patrice, Jeselnik, I'm sure they write almost all of their own jokes. Everyone else has Rich Vos write their jokes and Amy sounded like her jokes came straight from kurt.

7 DamonTyler 2016-08-22

Jeselnik wrote roast jokes for a couple years before perofrming at one. Wouldn't be surprised if Amy set was 50% him and 50% kurt

5 Slippery_Slope_Guy 2016-08-22

Oh her whole set was written by Jeselnik after they started dating. The popular one that made her famous. I forget what it was named. Slutty McWhore or something.

3 stinkskc 2016-08-22

It's been known that they bring in writers.

10 PhilipMarma 2016-08-22

He also didn't serve 6 years in prison. He was sentenced to 6 but served 3. Did her publishers fact check this book?

5 frrunkis 2016-08-22

God damn. Three years for something you didn't do and still getting shit over it from a bunch of frumpy ass hoes.

9 nazicumfarts 2016-08-22

Am I the only one surprised that she hasn't started referring to herself in the third person yet?

3 jfral 2016-08-22

She does when announcing her arrival at the buffet, so the staff knows to expedite their output (and to warn other patrons from infringing on her territory).

7 bellboy1973 2016-08-22

Her mind at that moment: "I should totally bomb and then keep using that lazy interpreter joke when I'm out of jokes."

She bombed and she knew it

6 [deleted] 2016-08-22

They cut a lot of the roast out.

4 IggysGlove 2016-08-22

Those things are pretty heavily edited. She could very well be telling the truth.

4 User234524352345 2016-08-22

The roasts are heavily edited, so might be true.. But is she actually giving herself credit for "improvising" such a basic line?! I'm pretty sure Don Rickles has asked for an interpreter 30 years ago.

3 [deleted] 2016-08-22

He made one joke during her speech. Fucking Patrice spoke up more than him, hell, both of them are convicted rapists. She could have made it about Patrice but her jokes aimed at him are racial, can't have that with her new family-friendly persona.

Though in all seriousness she's not bad in the roast. Got a chuckle or two out of me, at least.

3 Jackthejew 2016-08-22

Amy, Patrice and Mike all on that stage. A lot of accused rapists get into comedy I'm realizing.

3 [deleted] 2016-08-22

[deleted]

3 winkleham 2016-08-22

Amy is at the point now where she is so fat she should be doing Jim Gaffigan's act.

3 ChippusMaximus 2016-08-22

(hoooooooog pockets)

2 satsamsit 2016-08-22

To be fair to piggy cunty flap, they do edit a lot out of those. There's a good chance they had to snip that lispy moon cricket trying to get a retort in.

2 DaveNone 2016-08-22

He didn't heckle her after she made the dumb joke about his tattoo, he just laughed.

If someone has a throwaway twitter account they should point out her lie and see how fast she blocks them and her cunt army attacks. I say throw away twitter account because of course you'll get banned from twitter for attacking her and pointing out what a lying sack of shit she is.

3 Hunter_Cumia 2016-08-22

If anyone has a Twitter account that's not a throwaway we need to keep kicking him in the nuts

1 Superbad415 2016-08-22

He probably lacks nuts is the issue

2 Slippery_Slope_Guy 2016-08-22

I'm sure Kurt wrote every single one of those jokes.

6 stinkskc 2016-08-22

Jessilnick too

2 MollyWobbles7 2016-08-22

Wonder what she thinks of patrice

2 LacanZizekFreud 2016-08-22

Ableist, Racist, Fat Shaming. How could she possibly spin this as a feminist roast set?