Kurt made the New York Times. Journalism is dead.

57  2016-08-20 by [deleted]

71 comments

“At baseline, it makes you trust her comedy less. Suddenly, the punch lines don’t feel like punch lines anymore. It feels like an actual insult."

© Aja Romano

This is how comedy dies.

I was going to quote the same thing. What kind of faggot ass website won't let you highlight something to copy and paste? I'm disgusted by this entire situation.

same here. the faggotry knows no bounds.

With thunderous thighs.

She admits to being so hefty and disgusting that she uses deodorant on her inner thighs. WHO DOES THAT? I'm 305 lbs and it is an idea that has never entered my head. I have worked with dudes from 250-500 lbs and I have never heard of this practice. She is literally a stank hoe.

Do u work in a sumo dojo?

Bouncer. Would have been funnier if you asked me if I did supersized gay porn.

It's late, cut me some slack

I saw dojo and I thought of Master Po.

Jesus fuck . and of course she looks like that . just like anything though this bull shit won't last. Comedy will come back harder and more offensive than ever

You wouldn't roll around with her in the middle of a *drug bender?

I used to not be able to get it up all the time on heroin (same with meth). On my 21st birthday, a friend took me to the strip club and paid for everything, but I snorted a bunch of heroin before going and couldn't get it up with any of the dancers until one hummed on my balls and licked my ear during a private dance. I got another dance from one of the best looking girls there and when it was over I think she raised her arms up in dismay to another stripper. She probably thought I was gay. No bitch, it's just that this heroin high is better than anything I could possibly do with you.

please tell me more of your life story that I didn't ask for

No need to be hurtful.

Sounds like a waste of heroin tbh fam.

It wasn't, I was nodding out at one point. Plus I did more when I got home.

Sounds like me a coke. Fucking peckah is useless but worth the high

Do you work on the docks and just recently went to the doctor because you hurt your hand?

I don't get the reference. Only thing remotely close would be Cinderella Man, but that doesn't make sense.

sorry, not a reference, i just thought you were someone i knew and i didn't want a full dox

Naw, it's not me, friend.

oh well, this was my roundabout way of trying to talk to him, reconcile some shit incognito

Just call him up, fag. Or just tell me and I'll tell someone else, and maybe he'll hear about it.

what do you base this on, just curious.

Liz Arcury, a Brooklyn writer and comedian, said Ms. Schumer blocked her on Twitter on Tuesday about three hours after she posted a tweet asking her to fire Mr. Metzger.

In an interview, Ms. Arcury said that by doing so, Ms. Schumer “is not only ignoring and silencing us,” but also she is “making the active choice to say: ‘Hey, female fans: I don’t care about you, and you are nothing but an annoyance to me. I care about this man more.”

(...)

Ms. Arcury said that while she remained a fan of Ms. Schumer’s, she was disappointed by her behavior this week.

“I watched every single episode of her show, and I was fully planning on buying her new book,” she said. “I am literally her core demographic. I have been so moved by her words on so many occasions.”

lol

Her words must be able to deadlift 900 lbs.

Or maybe she doesn't want some dumb fat retard telling her how to do her job and who to hire

hold thy tongue, plebian. tis a new york comic you speak ill of!

I don't even know who to hate the most out of this clusterfuck anymore. Amy? Her fans? The media? Kurt Metzger's coke habit?

I love hating things. Kurt Metzger's coke habit is pure uncut fuel.

I hate them all. I've been masturbating furiously but sometimes the belt loosens.

Prominently quoted in the New York Times article is this "Brooklyn-based writer" with 12,000 tweets and 500 followers:

https://twitter.com/LizArcury

Pardon my lewdness but I hope she gets raped with a broom.

With the brush end preferably.

The brush end would still be too narrow for her no doubt very wide-set vagina.

Who said anything about a vagina, faggot?

A broom would have enough dignity to ask not to get put in that cow.

Is it so fucking hard to keep cake out of your mouth and hit the gym a few days a week? Every single one of these cunts is 250+ lbs. Have some fucking self control for fucks sake.

That's our society nowadays. No self control, no responsibility for their actions. People are taught that they can say and do whatever they want. You can bet this fat cow will defend her right to be fat but then go home, crack open a gallon of ice cream and cry about how hideous she is while she eats it and looks at herself in the mirror.

[deleted]

Your talking about a group of people who think getting blocked on twitter is an act of aggression.

When it happens to them, when it happens to anyone else they act like the dancing hippos from fantasia

Yuck. Mcsweeny's. Go suck more Eggers cock ya twat

35 minutes ago posted a link to: Vague Quotes From Beat Generation Authors To Make Straight Cisgendered White Men Feel Good About Their Choices

EW. Ginsburg and Burroughs were gay, and Kerouac, and at least a few of the other major dudes were bisexual.

This is supposed to be COMEDY writing? Be more funny. Stop re-writing history to fit your persecution complex narrative.

Ginsberg was a FAG. His poem "please master" is fucking hilarious.

Damn she chunky

Should I meet up With her and hand her a manuscript of the entire subreddit for research purposes?

[deleted]

"all the news that's fit to print" folks

how does this even come about on an outlet like the NYT?

"Sorry Bill, Syria doesn't trend with readers anymore. We're putting you on the horseshit desk."

I like how "The No Loyalty Kid" also has Tig Notaro in her photo. She hates Kurt for his defensive of that UCB idiot, but has no problem quantifying Tig and co-opting her friend's "struggle" as if she's a vat of pumpkin spice latte that she can just shove up her twat and consume while pointing at how "progressive" she is.

Amy: “Looking masculine and being gay, the challenges of the road are 20 times harder for Tig than other female comedians. People fear what they don’t understand.”

Tig: “I don’t know what she was talking about. It sounds like offensive nonsense to me. I find that so offensive and weird. If you knew me well, you would never say that.”

I know you guys are like: "well its just cooze, who cares". But ethics are ethics, and Amy is the furthest thing from ethical. Maybe Amy is just a dumb person clawing their way toward being cogent and reverent, cause God knows she's NOT a sex icon. It's proof enough when she keeps that thieving neurotic idiot with the muppet eyebrows around, even after the fake outragers attacked her for her lack of outrage. Wasn't she supposed to be one of them?

Fuck her.

amy schumer is a filthy jewess who has dyed her hair to look like a shiksa. Most likely will say and do anything for fame. The capitalist elite sell the liberal plebeians a safe feminism that does not threaten them and makes them money. the new york times is an establishment rag, mainstream media is a tentacle of the elite. It also now relies on inflammatory reporting to get clicks, cause that makes them more money, clickbait.

according to wikipidia the jew york times is owned by Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr.

"Sulzberger's mother was of mostly English and Scottish origin and his father was of Jewish origin (both Ashkenazi and Sephardic).[3] His parents divorced when he was five. Sulzberger was raised in his mother's Episcopalian faith; however, he no longer observes the religion"

what does this all mean?

Kurt is a fucking civilian now. Ha

shiksa means pig... so...

Dyed and straightened. Yep.

Kurt is an A grade asshole, you can say that only based on his behavior on LOS which had him kinda banned, and those were his friends. I want to feel sorry for the guy but seriously he deserves this shit.

I agree with this. Fuck everyone involved in this dumb shit.

I think he had a point, that accusations aren't necessarily true, but he rode that pony the distance. It seems like at some point he would have questioned if this was a good idea.

And yet

Kurt Metzger isn't the worst person in this whole shitshow. There's a lot of cunts who deserve that title.

No not at all, seems the comedy business is pretty fucked up.

I like the picture of Amy at the brainstorming session and the writers behind her looking totally disinterested while she pretends to be seriously studying something. "Okay guys I've never told a joke of my own or had an original thought so you have to explain to me. Those words up there, that's joke writing? And that's a sketch that you are writing? And those other names, In Living Color, MadTV and others are sketch shows you are taking ideas from? Oh not taking, parallel thinking. I understand!! Like my whole act was just parallel thinking!! Great job guys! I'm off to the all you can eat buffet!!"

The NYT is shit. Its shitty coverage of topics and they want you to pay for looking at their shitty articles. They're extremely pro Hilary

they want you to pay for looking at their shitty articles

I still don't get this business model, no article ever written was important enough to sign up for a website just to read. Not to mention someone posts the whole article within a few hours anyway.

Journalism has been dead for a while now. It is a field about as respected/reputable as horse thievery. You have guys like Shaun Smith--a guy who lies about his own race, a race agitator, and possible crowdfunding scam artist, Brian Williams--an egregious bullshit artist and glory hound, and now Amanda Knox---a vile murderess who slandered and attempted to frame some poor nignog for her crime. This is clearly a field of integrity.

Which is more dead, journalism or kurts career?

They're really spinning this shit. Any one who doesn't get what he was trying to say is just out for a witch hunt.

Also new york times is officially under ME. Think about that statement for a second

I have no idea what that statement means.

mass effect?

Beneath you?

He is essentially getting in trouble for saying that a person's livelihood shouldn't be taken away just because a baseless accusation was made against them. Feminism is a joke.

No, he got into trouble for the unhinged and aggressive way he went about it, and for being ugly/incredibly odd-looking.

If Kurt looked like Bradley Cooper, at least half the cunts that went after him would have defended him (at least 2/3rds if he was a minority Bradley Cooper), or another group of women would have leapt to his defense and made excuses for him, while sending him naked pics.

the hook nose, obesity and the hairline

All of these blogging cunts: "it's all about MEEEEE!"

Journalism died 3 years ago.

The New York Times hasn't been considered journalism by anyone who isn't retarded for a very long time.

[deleted]

Ginsberg was a FAG. His poem "please master" is fucking hilarious.

It wasn't, I was nodding out at one point. Plus I did more when I got home.