Pig Schumer reveals she had mommy issues, daddy issues and abusive boyfriend issues.. no wonder she enjoys the occasional cheeseburger or 12

22  2016-08-16 by [deleted]

[deleted]

26 comments

honest question: how do we know that this isn't a character she is playing like the conservative woman she played on Red Eye or the drunk, slutty quasi racist character she played in her stand up until recently?

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Maybe I'm just trash but my dad accidentally shitting his pants during a fishing trip when I was 13 was the funniest thing ever at the time.

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That reminds me the family vacation where dad accidentally shit on my dick haha.

Being a victim is so hot right now.

Now she's plagiarizing from Lifetime tv movies. Get ovarian cancer, fat cunt.

Get ovarian cancer

That'll be in her next book.

  1. Fuck you for linking this horseshit. 2. None of this happened. 3. Jews.

And 4. Dan = Dan Soder

4, Niggers

You're slipping, friend!

Who runs the media? Niggers have nothing to do with this.

Miz Schumer also remembers losing her virginity to a former boyfriend who took advantage of her while she was half-asleep — and then feeling bad for it later:

"Without asking first, without kissing me, without so much as looking me in the eyes – or even confirming if I was awake …

Does this dumbfuck shill have any self-awareness at all?

http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2014/05/wait-a-second-did-amy-schumer-rape-a-guy/

Maybe the way she screamed "FUCK ME FUCK YOUR DIRTY PIG WHORE" tipped him off she was aware of what was going on.

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Good idea, just left a review titled 'not my cuppa tea'.

[deleted]

Yeah, he went too far with that one. Crude yuma!

She needs the DeRosa treatment

Please

So he got a little drunk, mistakenly thought he saw a whale in his kitchen, and decided to harpoon it. Who among us wouldn't do the same?

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She's a young girl in a big city!

She swallowed a lot of aggression. Along with a lot of pizzas.

Most of that stuff seems pretty run of the mill tbh. If you look closely at your own life and put words to all the negative shit that happens it starts to sound like the world's biggest trauma. But really, a lot of that shit is pretty normal.

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Can you imagine Soder pimp slapping this pig and scolding her with his deep monster voice?

I thought this was complete satire until I clicked the link

So whose the Dan shes referring too? Please dont say Soder

And that's when I was sure he was going to kill me.

She says she was "sure" but yet here she is, still alive. This just shows we can't really trust her judgement of the situation.

The funniest thing about all these women getting famous and trotting out some horseshit abuse story, is that it makes us all not believe when it eventually happens for real.