"You guys are guys are a legitimate hats sub. You just make fun of folks." You heard the man, now that the cats out of the bag lets get to this sub's true purpose with a hat discussion thread.

27  2016-08-13 by MFWinab

37 comments

17  bonniesretardsister 2016-08-13

I wear a porkpie in tribute to Big Amy Schumer's vagina.

15  LupeTheFiasco 2016-08-13

I wear a Kangol and drink a beer every other weekend. I think I need to go to rehab guys.

7  bonniesretardsister 2016-08-13

I heard you got mad pussy playing Iron Man on a boombox in front of chicks houses after you saw Say Anything.

3  dirtyernie23 2016-08-13

Are you fat like Kevin James?

2  ScorchIsMyHero 2016-08-13

My hat has a propeller on top

13  Holzmann 2016-08-13

I hope the Susquehanna Hat Company pays a visit to that gentleman.

1  [deleted] 2016-08-13

[removed]

9  MFWinab 2016-08-13

I'm personally partial to the top hat. I like the old fashioned design and I also like that it can be used interchangeably as formal attire as well as a prop for a silly costume.

Furthermore, unlike most hats, the top hat actually has practical uses aside from being worn as a piece of clothing. Magicians use top hats as portals to abduct citizens of the rabbit dimension from their native realm. The top hat is also used as the best monopoly piece, its way better than that fucking asinine thimble that only hipster contrarian cunts like to use "hur hur its a microphone hur hur you can put the other pieces inside of it hur hur" fuck you.

5  Knightscribe 2016-08-13

Eat my ass, racecar is the best Monopoly piece.

12  MFWinab 2016-08-13

People who like the racecar best shouldn't be playing monopoly to begin with because the pieces are a choking hazard.

4  Knightscribe 2016-08-13

Vroom vroom.

8  dankfranklin 2016-08-13

No mention of lasagna hats yet?

7  letsgedditawn 2016-08-13

tips fedora

3  lifeobenreilly 2016-08-13

Tits' Fedora

7  AccidentalRenaissanc 2016-08-13

Just give me an old baseball cap and let me get to the jobsite with my lunch pail and container O'coffee and let's get it done, that's what I say. No need to be fussin' over hats and such things when there's a job to be done

4  carribbeanjimmy 2016-08-13

Yeah, kids these days don't know good they have it. I've been wearing the same hat for 17 years, done a lot of jobs in that hat. I went to the hat store in the mall, $30 for a ball-cap? I'm not paying that, who am I? The king of England? Ahhh, what the hell do I know?

6  goldstandard32 2016-08-13

my finger smells like shit

6  UnwarrantedArrogance 2016-08-13

Lol I think he meant "hate" instead of hats. You guys need to give him a break he's an alcoholic. Have some sympathy. Nobody cares about homelessness man it's messed up CARE ABOUT MEEEEE

9  MFWinab 2016-08-13

IIRC at one point in that thread he started saying that liveleak beheading videos are not as disturbing as the cakestomp video.

A charity worker or soldier screaming in pain as their head is sawed off by some sick fuck? Eh, childs play.

A flab chested shock jock fucking up a homeless guy's snack? Thats truly chilling stuff right there.

5  doxxbrown 2016-08-13

As a headwear connoisseur, I solely shop at Ted's Hat Emporium.

5  MiniChipper 2016-08-13

FREE HAT!FREE HAT!FREE HAT!FREE HAT!FREE HAT!FREE HAT!

4  peckaface 2016-08-13

I am a fan of the bowler.

4  fervt 2016-08-13

Hats gonna hat.

4  mr__hat 2016-08-13

Hello.

4  ContentBotHZ54K 2016-08-13

After the split, hats are the only thing holding this sub together.

4  xaway3 2016-08-13

This is probably controversial but I think fedoras are ok if worn sparingly and with panache.

4  HerpDerpen 2016-08-13

This is the greatest day in u/Very_legitimate life. So much attention! No matter how many times it's explained to him that Opie stinks, he doesn't fucking get it.

-3  Very_legitimate 2016-08-13

Haha you're a faggot buy whatever. Kik post m8

4  TheScarletR 2016-08-13

I saw this coming days ago, I WAS MOCKED

3  LamarThePotato 2016-08-13

I just tip my hat every time I post a zinger.

2  TrackSuitVos 2016-08-13

I have a Kangol, another cap, and a Flyers baseball hat. I enjoy all of them, in their own way.

2  theendofanerror 2016-08-13

Many of the hats people refer to as "Fedoras" and "porkpies" are actually trilbies and this bugs the fuck out of me.

2  EnigmaticTortoise 2016-08-13

/r/againsthatsubreddits

1  AntsCamera 2016-08-13

I wore a vest made of raped and murdered womens femurs to the new Ghostbusters premier.

I'll be wearing the same getup to Oceans 8 when Sony shits up that franchise with fish smelling cunts.

Hats are for balding faggots.

7  MFWinab 2016-08-13

Hats are for balding faggots.

Keep your fucking hate speech out of our subreddit

3  xaway3 2016-08-13

As a balding faggot, this is exactly why I wear hats. You're a perceptive student of your fellow man, fellow.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2016-08-13

He has a point tbh fam... "2/29/20 - Lasagna Hat Leap Year!" Is right in the side-bar. We've always been about hats at our core. Someone posted a request for a "Jimmy hat-talk compilation" just the other day