Ya gotcha Bawby Kelly, ya got a beta'd Vic, ya got Nick DiPaolo and Colin Quinn calling in. All-in-all, it's not fantastic but it's moderately enjoyable.

First hour

• Garry Marshall is dead and is taking Jimmy's terrible coat with him to the grave or something.
• Bawby admits he doesn't eat anything cinnamon anymore because of Kirk Sinnamin. Jimmy will undoubtedly Kirk him all show. Sounds like he's asking for Cinny tweets...
• Vicky is just awful, making lazy Greggist tags like "I was just about to say that!"
• Nick DiPaolo is on his way to Boomer and Carton and calls in. Even though it sounds like he's calling from an 90's car phone, Gregg claims he has no idea who one of the most famous sports talk duos in the country is although, as we all know, Gregg "double jock" Hughes is a standout basketball player, mathlete, and international caddie.
• Gregg keeps stumbling over Boomer and Carton's name because he's either illiterate, ignorant, or trying to sound cool.
• Bawby lives down the street from Nick and Bawby tells us how lovely Nick's house is and small (lulz) and unsuccessful it makes him feel. Vicky tries to get in because he's getting steamrolled by actually funny people, "Sometimes he invites me over and lets me feed the swans!" <nervous chuckle>

Chip: TTTSSSSS!!!! Hopefully, Vicky will get Chipped all show.

• Gregg actually makes a funnY! Which he immediately ruins.

Nick: "What time are you guys done?"

Gregg: "Aaahhh.. we've been done for a while but uh.."

Legit laughter from Bawb and Jimmy, hen cackle from Vicky

Bawby: "Opie's funny! Opie's funny!" chant

Gregg: "YAAAAY!! YAAAY!!! YAAAY!!! YAAAY!!!" and then in his high-pitched defensive voice, "You're surprised? Go fuck yourse^eelf." which brings it to a screeching halt.

• Nick says, "I hope Hillary finds a lump on her tit the size of a grapefruit. Did I say tit? I meant prostate." Vic, "AHH! Switching it up!" Chip: "TSSSSS!!!!" #2

• Nick, "People say, 'you know what keeps me up at night? The idea of Donald Trump with his finger on the button.' And you know what I'm like. You know I'm like, 'You know what keeps ME up at night? The thought of Hillary with her finger on HER button.." Fucking CRICKETS, Jim and Bawby start to laugh and it's very funny. Vicky, in his best boot-licking Foghorn Leghorn impersonation, comes to the aid of the vastly more successful , "Can't hear anything he's saying." Gregg brokers this gay peace and says, "Vic is with me.... Nick your phone is a bit harsh."

• Bawby makes three more good jokes, "Are you on a flip phone? Do you have your window down? Do you have your head out da winda like a fuggin Golden Retriever?" everyone laughs. Gregg is cocky from his one joke and is back to crashing and burning: "Yeah! Are you on a speakerphone...? Maybe that's it...?" and I wish they could have played the car crash noise.

• Nick was supposed to go to Nantucket with Vicky, Gregg is noticeably upset and defensively asked, "You invited NICK to Nantucket?!" Nick got a last minute gig but Vicky had apparently paid for Nick's hotel room and possibly transportation. I don't know where Vicky gets his money from, presumably his three shows per year when he's not barnacled to Ron White. But I'm willing to bet this was a "business expense" to barnacle onto Nick, the previously established much more successful, famous, and superior comic. Gregg is really upset about this and whisper grunts, "FAAAWK, I woulda taken a free trip to Nantucket!!"

• Vicky says the shows sold well, they gave a lot of money to charity, and "the best part is, I didn't do any work, I just sat on the beach the whole weekend with my Auburn hat." I don't like this man.

• Gregg uses his obnoxious radio guy voice to give out Nick DiPaolo at Caroline's this weekend phone number.

• Vicky tries to drop the hilarious line that, "it sounded like Nick was talking through a walkie talkie into a cell phone.. there was like three layers of.. communication go on! Heh... heh.." Jimmy sighs noticeably.

• Rolando bought Jimmy Cherry Ganache cupcakes from Sprinkles. Gregg and Jimmy keep calling them donuts, Vicky tries to get a line in but he's getting railroaded by actual jokes. As a result, Vicky shells has to correct them, "They're not donuts, they're cupcakes first of all." WHAT was he going to say next? "Second of all.. they donut have holes in them.. and third of all, please guys just let me speak..." But we won't know because the room rightfully plows him the eff over.

• Jimmy treated himself to a second chocolate sea salt RX Bar last night by himself to celebrate his birthday. Gregg notes that's a very sad way to spend your birthday. For once, I agree. Jimmy and Matt Serra did Katie Nolan's podcast called Garbage something. No idea who this rodent-toothed "le nerdy" chick is but she does have some formidable assets.

• Jimmy says she's very funny and Gregg says he's been trying to get her in. Still no idea who she is because as they're starting to talk about her, instead of letting the birthday boy/co-host talk about it, Vicky interjects, "So Roland, what did Bobby have a bite of?"

• Roland he got "off-the-menu" cupcakes: chocolate cupcakes with "sherry" ganache from Sprinkles.

• Jim Sinnamin's Bawby and he's getting itchy.

• Rolando says Sprinkles has ATM cupcake machines. Vicky states, "I've seen them!" to get people to pay attention to him. Jim actually acts like a comic and goes for the joke, "ATM cupcakes? Bet they taste like shit!" Loffs. Vicky keeps trying to crowbar his way into the conversation, "I've seen them before. I've seen them on 5th Avenue. I've seen them on the way to the show." Jim instead goes for another joke and says, "Yeah but the ATM cupcakes get squished when you put them in your wallet."

• Gregg posits, "How many cupcakes do you think they sell after the bars close?! FFFAWK." Forgetting that bars in New York close at 4 am, and there are usually at least 293084029384 other places to get food in the city that doesn't sleep.

• Bawby and Roland are talking about food. Fucking shocker.

• Vick is trying to show how brilliant and knowledgeable he is and starts talking about Automats and says they were around from the "f-f-40's until the.. mid-80's, they were around for 45, 50 years." He is, of course, dead wrong. They have existed in New York from 1912 until 1991. At least he gets to try and sound smart... RIGHT?! Vicky notes they are looking at a picture of automats from Holland and then he says it was strictly a "New York City thing". Is this show incapable of getting a non-mongo to offer opinions?

• Bawby immediately jumps in to talk about them in Japan when he was there and is jokingly being coy about it but they serve hot lo mein. Vicky gets pissy that Bawby immediately contradicted him because after Bawb tells Gregg he'll tell him about his trip to Japan off the air, Vicky pisses, "No, that wouldn't be interesting radio or anything." Jimmy saves the piss by saying, "Bawby was terrorizing the city and the military had to shoot him."

• Vicky had mentioned playing wiffle/stick/baseball and "ghostman on first" because he didn't have enough friends growing up and had to have "runners on first and second". This somehow turns into a long bit and they take multiple calls about it. "VICKY HENLEY, BRO, I GOTTA SAY, YOU ARE THE MASTER OF THE OBSCURE CALL OUT. GHOSTMAN ON FIRST?! I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT SINCE I WAS FUCKING SIX!"... FAWK yeah...!! Kevin the caller, scratch the roof of your mouth with crusty bread, you STINK.

• Somehow, this turns into a long bit and Vicky just talks about herself for many minutes. Gregg doesn't understand baseball or children's rules. How, if you only have two people playing, can there be runners on first and second? Surely that means only one kid is playing then, right? No, you fucking dunce. That's why there are "GHOST MEN".

• The highlight of this hour.

Travis: "Yeah, we used to do that.. We used to do that, so long as-"

Jim: "No, you used to do 'ghost mom'." I fucking laughed out loud.

• Vicky fucking SCREAM laughs then cackles into the mic and ruins it immediately for me. Bawby points out the speed with which he responded and Vicky has to do his, "Yeah! Right! Like... Exactly!"
• Bawby went to Colin's show last night. He went to his last HBO taping and he and his wife was sat behind the cameraman and in front of Twitchles.

• This time, he was also sat behind the cameraman, next to a woman as fat as him and he had to "hold his tits" on one side, and one of Colin's Brooklyn friends who looks like Whitey Bulger on the other side.

• This time for New York Stories, he was also sat behind the cameraman, next to a woman as fat as him and he had to "hold his tits" on one side, and one of Colin's Brooklyn friends who looks like Whitey Bulger on the other side. So he had to watch the show through the viewfinder. Apparently, there's a picture on Instagram but I'm not looking it up.

• They talk about Colin's show for the next five minutes. Bawby gets "Sinn'd" a few times.

• Gregg was invited but forgot it was last night. What a great friend.

Holy fuck I'm only 42 minutes in.

• They're talking about the crane collapse on the Tappan Zee Bridge. This is several minutes of snooze-a-roo while they watch multiple videos on air with no talking.
• In Vicky's world, somehow the Tappan Zee Bridge, one of the most used bridges in the country particularly for shipping, is on-par with some bridge in Louisiana going into the bayou where if you go over it with an 18-wheeler it will shake and scare you. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Gregg gives him sympathy acknowledgement for his contribution, Jimmy and Bobby clearly don't care because they get right back on track.
• The only funny parts are when they discuss this tractor trailer breakdown from May with the truck's stupid wheels rolling after the truck. Jimmy anthropomorphizes the wheels and it is droll. Vicky ruins it.. probably.
• Another funny moment is when they play the extra footage of the driver who can't speak English very well.. It's also funny if you put that video on 1.5x or 2x speed to watch half the union guys doing clean up to help while the other half, who are obese, just walk around in circles and almost trip over shit multiple times because they are fat and lazy.
• Vicky tries to interrupt up with some undoubtedly banal story about driving on the 101 in LA. Everyone rolls right over him because they're watching fake videos which are more entertaining than whatever he was going to offer.
• They watch another video on-air. The video is fake.
• Bawby calls Belarus "bay-la-roosh" although the news anchor pronounces it correctly about six times.
• Bawby tries to compliment truckers and says, "I love truckers" and five year-old Gregg interrupts, "YOU LOVE TRUCKERS?! EWWW" like a schoolyard boy. It is immature and uncomfortable but Bawby improves some funny shit. "They're sitting all day, you don't need lube. You got a bed in there, no need to get a hotel."
• Oh no, Vicky will NOT let his thrilling "driving on the 101 in LA story" go away. Want to know what it is? There's an exhaust pipe that "sticks off the roof of the thing" (presumable a highway has an exhaust pipe?...what?). It rotted, snapped off and bounced across the eight lanes of the five lane highway of the 101 and everyone swerved and nobody hit it and nobody got hurt and Vicky was five cars back and he was like "woooOOOOOP LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SHIT" and it was like bing-bang-bing and it was just a giant 9-feet piece of metal that was just ricocheting across the 101 and nobody, everybody swerved and kept going.
• Gregg almost got hit by a board on the Long Island Expressway. Kirk once saw a hubcap roll off into the woods. Vicky cackles not realizing Jim just made fun of his horrendous story.
• Vicky will be at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky August 3-6, which, as he reminds us, is the first week of August.. It looks like it seats about 100 people and holy shit, tickets are $7, I'm not kidding.. This is only $2 more than the $5 open mic contest next Wednesday, 70% of the ticket price for a roast of a fictional character, 44% of what Tammy Pescatelli commands, 32% of what John Witherspoon is getting, and 28% of what renowned gay dragon magician Piff got paid earlier this month. Holy shit, Vicky really has no career. WHERE DOES HE GET HIS MONEY
• Jimmy: Capital Theatre in Columbus, Ohio and Gathering of the Juggalos
• There will be a lot of guest hosts over the summer as they "seg into" a lighter summer schedule. I want to burn him with fire.
• Tits will probably go that exotic vacation to "two hours away" or at least "Little Egg Harbor" that he's always promised his family.
• Holy fuck tomorrow Mark "this is totally true" Normand and Ari "chlamydia lasts 10 days" Shaffir will be hosting. Two monotonous Jews.. what could be fun!? Ronny B on Friday. Bawby on Monday, Tits crew Tuesday.
• Bawby gets Kirk'd again.
• Vicky was reading the comments on The Record Company's videos from the show yesterday... he really has nothing to do with his life, does he?
• Vicky is fawning over how AWESOME it is to work at Sirius because you get music recommendations because no one listens to music anywhere. Bawby immediately shouts him out, "What, are you trying to get a job here? What the fuck was that?" Vicky tells us she has already been fired from Sirius. Jimmy hits with, "You're right, no one recommends music anywhere else in the world." The two keep bashing him for being old and out of touch, it is entertaining. Vicky thinks they're laughing with him and says "Yeah! Sing into the coffee can like O Brother Where Art Thou!" everyone stops laughing. Vicky asserts, "That was fucking hiLARious".

BREAK.. and break my spirit. I'm listening on demand so no commercial rundown this time.

There's some Israeli cunt named Noah who's in for E-Rock. Vicky says she's from "The Trucking Channel". Wtf does that mean? Anyone got pics? Presumably, she's attractive. She's taking show notes for promos.

• Gregg tries to joke that "Ope's got a nice bulge in the front of his jeans."

• Jimmy immediately tags, "and in the back."

• Greggshells: "You won't even allow me to have a sexy moment, you son^ofabitch."

Bobby posits that "she would do Vick last."

---

Her list of highlights from the first hour include:

• Jim shares a story about driving and having to take a shit

• Ghost running, she didn't know about that, and a lawn chair that can be used in the game for a strike zone

• Bob describes Nick DiPaolo's lavish house, that was funny.

Gregg says, "Wow, this show sounds FUCKING AWFUL."

Jim says when you're taking notes, "you should just call it the Dud Ledger, things that we've said that we never should have. These are our magic moments: 'Vic discusses his hat. Bob eats a cupcake and then talks about it.'"

• She timestamped the cupcake vending machine conversation for some ungodly reason. Gregg asks "we're going to replay that some day?!?! The notes sound not not too good, doesn't look good, doesn't make things look good. Sounds like an amazing 'best of' when we play it some day."

• Truck flips on Tappan Zee

Gregg says, "Wow, this show sounds FUCKING AWFUL."

Aaaaand.. thread... except they IMMEDIATELY go back into banal bullshit like 'where did you get your clipboard? What stickers are on the back? You can tell a lot about a person based on the stickers they have on their clipboard."