How would 3'12" bisexual comic Jim Morton's life be different if he were tall?

2  2016-07-20 by chrb13

16 comments

10  TrackSuitVos 2016-07-20

"That's a tough one, man. I dunno."

5  DaveNone 2016-07-20

If he is 3'12" then wouldn't that be 4'?

5  chrb13 2016-07-20

It would. I'll do better next time.

1  Clibanarius 2016-07-20

I just immediately thought of the Loveline caller who said he was 5'12, almost 6 foot.

4  TheAmazingPearl 2016-07-20

He'd have to drop to his knees to please his partners.

1  ShetUp 2016-07-20

It would make him threatening and every joke or story looked at differently. He probably wouldve gotten married and killed himself.

1  JonnyBleach 2016-07-20

im sure all the ufc guys would respect him then! he might even get to co-host with his all-hetro buddy RoJoe!

1  aprosbro 2016-07-20

Probably wouldn't have picked fights with Henry Rollins, Chris Jericho or Jesse Ventura in situations he was 100% physically safe from them.

1  chrb13 2016-07-20

You mean safe because he had the lumbering retard protecting him; or safe because he's so tiny that those guys wouldn't even consider hitting such a defenseless little creature?

1  aprosbro 2016-07-20

Safe because one of them was on the phone and none of them were going to ruin their career over a chip on his shoulder little shit getting in their face.

2  chrb13 2016-07-20

wassat?

1  Lyle_D_Chipperson 2016-07-20

that faggot Henry Rollins was over the phone

1  K1bbler 2016-07-20

Women would be attracted to him so he wouldn't need to resort to fucking dudes with tits.

1  DaveNone 2016-07-20

He'd just fuck them for fun on the side.

3  K1bbler 2016-07-20

Also with his increased body mass he wouldn't have got drunk off one beer at 15 and never would have needed to go to rehab.

1  Clibanarius 2016-07-20

He's 3'12. Almost 4 feet.

1  [deleted] 2016-07-20

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