She acts like she called in because "she misses them" but then goes right into something the Enquirer wrote about her that's not true. Just like last time she missed the guys so bad and wanted to go on Jimmys advice show and it happened to coincide with the joke thief allegations. Wake up dummies, she's using you for a forum.

Did they write she wasn't hungry?

Tss, forum? More like AGAINSTum!

rectum damn near killed 'em. tss tss.

Tss, I don't get it?

It's a reference to a Chris Farley flick. Black Sheep. Hilarious scene where Farley gets zooted on the weed.

Oh my god. Totally breaking the 4th wall, here: "Rectum, it nearly killed em" is one of the oldest "mystery punchlines/references" out there. I was saying it as "Chip," because only he would not get it. God DAMN you.

break as many walls as you want. tss. tss. they call me the 4th wall keeed.

It was off one of those truck stop cassette tapes of 80's redneck jokes. I don't remember the setup either. So my post is worthless.

Well, you tried. Cmon. Don't beat yourself up like this.

Thanks fella

HOMERUN, SAWK CUKKAH, HOMERUN!

Fact that she is using Gregg Opie Hughes and Jim Norton in the Mornings as a platform, that is pathetic.

Wake up dummies, she's using you for a forum.

They know. Opie knows. He's fucking stoked as hell "They played our clip on TMZ! Courtesy of @OpieRadio!"

She needs to realize if these old fags still had their nuts they'd be playing the "disgusting fatbody" drop over her stupid phone call.

Amy Schumer is a Fatty Pig Fatty

Again with the basement?

Those jokes are classics. Because the WarGames model of the Internet still exists and only hypernerds use computers, right?!

Actually, no. The internet has become quite mainstream and accessible.

Literal MicrowaveYourFork. You scamp.

Its kind of annoying to hear these rich successful people making fun of people living with their parents in this economy. (I know how that sounds)

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Someone recently said that all this SJW stuff with celebrities is a form of classism, I kind of see that.

Especially when it comes to harassment. They really don't believe that someone with a full time job and/or a family and a real life would also take 30 minutes or an hour out of their day occasionally to mess with people like Amy or Leslie Jones or post the shit that gets posted here. They think it's impossible to hate them and also be a contributing member of society.

Jim Norton lived with his parents till he was 30.

My family can't afford to finish our basement

AMY SCHUMER HATES NUCLEAR FAMILIES! Especially among the Asian and Hispanic community!

Another writing credit for cuckold Kurt.

On a scale of 1-10 how brave was she?

She refuses to step on the scale. Numbers oppress her.

'bout 285

"Did you hear the part where I said you jumped in the pool with your phone?" - needy Opie

I cringed at that.

I just cringed at you listening to "Opie and Jim in the Morning"

Yeah why don't you listen to them at night or something

Chip if he had perfect diction.

Like everything else Gregg has ever uttered.

I just came on here to post the same exact thing. I'm in my car listening to the replay, and it was so fucking cringey.....plus i think DiStefano was the one with the brutal pool joke to begin with.

This is disgusting listening to these guys talking to her. I can't believe what my fav show has morphed into.

I had to turn down the radio, I was so embarassed.

AMAAAY

AMAYYYYYY AMAYYYYYYYYYY

AMAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE? TEAM WEEBIE?

Touché

Jenny McCarthy was not nice to her friend Rachel. Isn't this now the second time someone was not nice to this broad and the reason Amy hated someone? Maybe your friend Rachel is unlikeable.

She's just sore from that freak cutting diamonds in her back skin.

Why do women always have to attack the accomplishments of other women? My mom worked really hard to afford getting me out of her basement and into a nice efficiency on the other side of town.

Why do women always have to attack the accomplishments of other women?

Because all women hate each other. It's in their DNA. Probably some caveman shit. Everyone here has heard it at some point. A girl you know rants about how she doesn't like some other girl she barely knows. You ask them to go a little further on why and they can't. They either come up with something stupid that is absolutely no reason to hate another person or they just shut down.

It's why this wave of feminism is such a disaster. Only a small fraction of the world cares about it. They just happen to be very loud about it. All of the other women are too busy being catty with one another to try and fight for equal rights and shit.

Only a small fraction of the world can care that iced lattes are sexist. The rest of us have to work for a living. Or shitpost, as the case may be.

Lol that is very true. Or you ask them why they hate them and the first thing they say is always a physical trait...really? You hate her because she has a big forehead? That doesnt sound like a big deal...

ANY OF YOU COULD HAVE CALLED!!!

Did she really say trolls are in their mom's basement?

When will there be some advocacy for internet user shaming??

Hey now, you know that mom's basement line really cuts deep.

you know it has to hurt the 15% who actually DO live in their parents basement....even if they won't admit it.

Probably not, because it's such a hack line at this point that it lost all power.

GET A LIFE'S, LOSER, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU MUSTER UP THE COURAGE TO SEXUALLY ASSAULT A CAB DRIVER

Fuck you for making me listen to this because I had to hear how bad it was. Yeah, yeah she's a fat, unlikeable, faux feminist joke thief... blah blah blah..

BUT HOLY FUCK she is somehow a less compelling talker than Gregg.. I encourage all of you to try and make it through two minutes of this phone call. She is simply unable to speak without filler words. Flexing my typing fingers for tomorrow's review of the first hour of the show, this is an actual... I guess point?... about Taylor Swift that Big Amy tried to sputter out between bites of benedict:

"Yeah, okay, well, as someone who, like, most of us, we have, ya know, uh, ALMOST no information. I want to form a... FULLY... committed to opinion, and it's like yyyeah if he's like, (indiscernible pig noises), he has this whole conversation. If he was like, 'hey, you're going to be in this song,' it's like, 'oh cool, thanks man for thinking about me,' but if it's like... and then you're listening and it's like, 'i hate this fucking bitch can't you,' you're like, '(indiscernible pig noises) agreeing (?) to me bro.' I get it. Yeah people are so ready to hate Taylor. I go back and forth where I'll be like, '(still more indiscernible pig noises).'" and then her phone mercifully cuts out. Before she follows up with, "I'm on my last.. I'm in the winter of my life. I'm going to go before Keith Robinson, do you know how upset that makes me? The two canes, I need leg braces."

Replying to my own comment to capture this AMAZING piece of compelling feminism:

"Leslie and I are BEST friends, and when I heard people were fucking with her.. like, I-I, I'm just like 'what? if you fuck with her you fuck with ALL of us,' ya know? It's like what do you guys want? What do they want? Do you guys want Giselle... n fuggin.... Karlie Kloss.. to do cop movies, or, ee, uh, 'no' and they're like 'no we don't...' do you want women...y-y-y-y-you to do NOTHING.. kk-yy-tt-pp.. (hard to capture stuttering) like let the women who are.. who are funny... who can make people laugh and maybe they don't make YOU laugh but they make enough people laugh that they're making... they're making money.. and they're making people... they ARE making people laugh. Like you don't have to watch it like (in high-pitched Gregg voice) watch whatever you want to watch. Watch Superman versus fucking... Spiderthor.. but doesn't have to be for you but why you are you mad that it was made? I'm a demmy. Do you know how many DOGSHIT movies there are out there, you're gonna be mad about a little... fuggin.. Ghostbusters remake?"

Translation:

"Warm me up a spot on them there coat-tails Lesdog, I'm a comin' in desperate"

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Reading that was like experiencing momentary Alzheimers.

That guy who thought the island of Guam could capsize is about to be proven right.

Her sister is a bigger hanger on than Brother Joe.

There's definitely alot to hold on to

It's nice to see that the "Untitled Mother-Daughter/Action Comedy Project" is actually getting made, but I doubt it will live up to the book.

They were smart about it, tho: they brought box office rabbit's foot Wanda Sykes on board.

Action Comedy? Oooof. Does this mean we are going to have to sit through obvious stunt people in padded fat suits fighting as Amy the way people had to in Spy with Melissa McCarthy?

When someone says "action", I immediately think "a 70-year-old Goldie Hawn".

Ok, that's not true. I immediately think "Melanie Griffith", then I think "a 70-year-old Goldie Hawn".

When someone says "comedy", I say "one Big Amy, please!".

You put those two together, you're going to have an explosion of comedytainment the likes of which we haven't seen since that Sofia Vergara/Reese Witherspoon piece of shit.

You really abandoned character at the end there.

That's my signature wink to the audience. ;)

Are you a subscriber or are you bogarting that stream?

Yes, but she is being paid 7 million bucks to do it...and being paid to live in Hawaii for 2 months. How the hell did this happen?

of all the dramatic things....

oh good, more bathing suit pictures then.

Goldie Hawn will be as desirable as she was in her heyday when juxtaposed onscreen with Big Amy's appalling visage.

Kenny can really make anything sound so uninteresting...

I wouldn't let that beefy heifer hug me, I'm too afraid of the structural damage she would do to my body. Maybe if she was wrapped in a blanket I could pretend she was human and stick it in her dooker. Go inhale a couple more cakes before your retard sister gets her slimy booger covered fingers on them, you fucking phony cunt.

She saw that Leslie Jones was becoming a media darling and needed knew she could get a quick ass licking from Jim and the Opester

Probably scrambling for attention after her made up rape story wasn't getting any traction.

I pray nightly that this pigger gets mouth, throat, stomach, tongue and teeth cancer so the thing she loves best in the world is ruined for her. Or at least marginally impeded.

"Like, ummm, like umm, men are like horrible ummm and women like umm they are like ummm horrible and likeunmm mean like I mean like ya know?"

This guy doesn't like me! He must like in his mom's basement, what other reason would he have for not thinking I'm hilarious?

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she just wants to give you all a hug

(in Amy Schumer voice)

ohhh no thanks... no, that's okay...

being wrapped up by big flab arms

ew!! i said no!!

attempts pushing Amy off, too heavy with fat woman strength

help!! help

is slowly enveloped and digested as the screams fade to silence

Thank you for your time

Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll just make you finger fuck her?

If this Goldie Hawn collaboration is an action-comedy does that mean Big Amy will be wielding a handgun? Or is she going to disarm a slew of bad guys with her bravery? I heard that shooting in Hawaii has been disrupted by locals hellbent on cramming an apple in Big Amy's mouth and roasting her on a spit.

Are they really having this horrid conversation...

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I'd like to move out of my Mom's basement, but goddamn...Panera just doesn't pay that much!

i like "real men" complaining about amy schumer like.. wtf are you smoking ? she is a standup, watch her or dont.. but this bitching ?!

Where we at with the Jennifer Lawrence comedy-drama with Big Amy as the ugly sister? A whirlwind Oscar campaign tour with Big Amy at the epicenter would provide endless fodder for us snarky basement dwellers.

BigAmy must be desperate to stop the attacks if she is willing to stoop so low as to call into O&J ... but jeez is she ever fat and whiny

Big Amy went from healthy, to alcohol bloat to whale. Maybe she should shack up in The Cumia residence. They seem to have one thing in common.

Yes, handle it like Anthony Cumia! Take Xanax and break your teen girlfriends ribs because the internet is making fun of you for sucking tranny hog. Don't forget to drunk post on Reddit at 3am saying how the comments don't affect your life.

Yes, handle it like Anthony Cumia! Take Xanax and break your teen girlfriends ribs because the internet is making fun of you for sucking tranny hog. Don't forget to drunk post on Reddit at 3am saying how the comments don't affect your life.

Translation:

"Warm me up a spot on them there coat-tails Lesdog, I'm a comin' in desperate"