Patton "Wife killer" Oswalt

1  2016-07-09 by cbanks420lol

I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

23 comments

If I had a dollar for every pound of wife Patton murdered, I'd have enough to hire him to kill mine.

There's two sides to every story though. Maybe she said the Star Wars prequels were better than the original and he snapped.

247 Dollars. That's how much it's costing... Not a penny less.

This is crazy, but hear me out:

Dan Ack-a-roid, star of the original "Ghostbusters", gifted Howard Stern vodka in a clear skull bottle.

https://d26b02a2hyzk9o.cloudfront.net/photos/2015/05/12/2947-02-17-15-hs-and-dan-aykroyd-approved.jpg

Mere days after Oswalt defends the "Ghostbusters" reboot, his wife dies in incredibly mysterious and suspicious circumstances (ritually sacrificed), and is risen up as an Illuminati symbol on twitter...

https://i.imgur.com/6c3rDRvl.jpg

Stern is photographed with the skull "bottle", heading to Jennifer "High Black Priestess" Aniston's house.

http://www.janetcharltonshollywood.com/images/2016/06/AG_119079_002.jpg

I'm going on record that that "bottle" was in fact Patton Oswalt's wife's actual skull, which Stern was entrusted to transport to Aniston/Theroux (the French are balls deep in this)'s Father's Day Black Mass.

Crazy, right? Well, then: why no autopsy report? Too busy to get around to it? Lost in the move, was it?

I don't buy it.

Ohhhhh shit.

think they ritually skull fucked her upstairs?

[deleted]

Coo-may-uh

Only took a couple weeks for him to get into a retard sjw rage over someone shitting on his precious dah-vur-city movie.

Someone violated the review embargo and said the movie was fucking awful. The lady Ghostbusters defeat the big villain by shooting him in the dick.

He probably watched the first half of the movie and shot himself in the dick.

You think because he disagrees with you it's okay to mock his dead wife? The end justifies harassment and demonizing someone? Hmm, you almost sound like...a pussy SJW!

Don't worry buddy. I'm sure when all the SJWs are gone, the girls will realize you've been super secretly cool this whole time.

did you really write all that and expect anyone to not just call you a faggot?

Nah. I realize that's what autistics do when confronted. I point out someone lashing out at celebrities like a retarded kid at a 3D movie, and they call me a faggot and giggle. Don't worry; you still get to be the cool kid. Thank god you guys here are too lazy to rape someone, as it would be the only chance you'd have of procreating.

You don't take jokes well.

And you guys are fucking mongoloids for considering these jokes. This is why Kurt calls you civilians. "Your wife is dead, your probably killed her with your fat!" is not a joke. It's a lonely little boy trying to fit in with the cool kids.

what were you the guy he paid to do it? take a chill pill, bub.

Relax Kurt.

What?

I don't feel good about this one...

Yeah he might not have murdered her he could have rolled over in his sleep and suffocated her. The day before her death he was tweeting about Prince's death. "Honey, wake up I've got a great idea for a dead Prince joke. Wake up..."

Yeah...but like....he didn't tweet AT Prince, so it's okay. It's not like he has a massive Twitter following and those tweets could have reached Princes family members. So like, shut up jerk.

HE'S A MURDERER.

You were supposed to say "I'm hammered"

HE'S A MURDERER.