"Ah, peckers," his sly sidekick James retorted.

Opie turns his mic on and with a duck face with one hand takes his bra off and removes it from his left arm sleeve and winks at the boys.

Finally this sub is going in the direction I've always dreamed

I'll repost mine: https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/4mxi52/my_first_opie_and_anthony_fanfiction/d3z71xt

edit: everyone get your cock out.

---

It's been a hot, sweaty New York day for the fat Nagel kid, young "E-Rock", Erik "Sex Bagel" Nagel. After working up a Helman's sweat by pushing a button for 5 hours, he walks out of the office and notices the curtains to the Opie and Anthony studio are closed.

"That's weird," he says out loud, "the show's over for the day." Along with that, Jimmy isn't around; there's no porn whores in the building.

"Something must be up. What's going on in there?" he asks out loud to his co-worker, a flummoxed and angry Danny Ross, who is glued to his phone and yelling incoherently.

"Fuck off, E-Rock, go write some Summerslam fan-fiction. I'm too busy to deal with your shit now." Danny storms off, leaving the Herculean E-Rock in his wake, fresh off receiving his 40th dead rodent in the mail this week, thanks to his murderous psychopath stalker.

Brushing off the abuse and letting out a low sigh, E-Rock walks towards the studio, shaking the walls of SiriusXM. Glass shakes and the floors rattle, with E-Rock twisting the doorknob, beginning to open it up.

"Hmmm... weird, they must still be in there..."

Pushing open the door, E-Rock's jaw drops larger than when he shoved a 2 foot hoagie down his gullet. The sight before him is shocking; world-shaking, even.

"Uhhmm... ungghhh... yeah..."

There, before his eyes, are his heroes. Greg "Opie" Hughes and Anthony "Uncle Paul" Cumia... interlocked, naked and making love. Shocked, both Opie and Anthony are caught off-guard. They quickly struggle, trying to put their clothes back on.

"HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON," shouts Opie, trying to cover his breasts with his left arm.

"We're just uhhh... heh heh... trying to discuss our next contract... heh heh..." hollers Anthony.

"I'm, uh... sorry, I didn't mean to--..." stammers the shocked Nagel lad.

Moving closer to E-Rock, Opie motions for him to shut the door. With a loving embrace, he gently wraps his arm around E-Rock, letting his tits sway in the wind.

"It's okay, E. We're just having some fun," mentions Opie, who closes the door behind E-Rock.

"Yeah, come in. Join us."

E-Rock doesn't know how to react. He has just caught his heroes in a shocking act. If Howard Stern found out about this, he'd have a field day. If Jimmy knew, he'd be jealous. That said, the relaxing massage from Opie stifles those fears.

"Relax. Come on."

"Yeah, come on," Anthony seductively whispers into E-Rock's ear, "Op and I both know you want it. It's what you've always wanted..."

"Well..." E-Rock goes to reply, but Anthony shuts him down by dragging him over to their broadcast table, with a giddy Opie in hot pursuit, rubbing his hands together.

As if he were talking to a child, Anthony pats E-Rock on the rear, grooming him kindly. "You're such a sweet boy, you keep quiet and join us, we'll get you something nice. Like an iPad or a hot dog."

"That does sound good..."

"Good, just like this..."

Out of nowhere, Anthony sticks his lizard-like tongue into E-Rock's mouth. The taste of Bud Light is intoxicating, mixing with the scent of mayo on E-Rock's breath.

"Alright, it's hoagie time!" shouts an excited E-Rock. It's fuck-time.

Anthony lifts the plump Nagel lad up on their broadcasting desk, knocking over a picture of Sue Lightning. He begins pulling off E-Rock's shirt, letting loose two tits of his own and a gelatinous belly.

"Hey Op, you're not the only one with a fine pair of tits. Come here, baby," moans Anthony.

In response, E-Rock, who is being stripped naked, having his pants now ripped off, wraps his legs around Anthony's leathery, naked waist. Opie, not wanting to be outdone, tiptoes across the floor, coming up behind Anthony.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkk," groans Opie, "this is going to be buh-rutal."

And is it ever. As Anthony docks his cock with E-Rock, open-mouth kissing him in the process, his 70 year old tongue slipping inside of E-Rock's mouth. Meanwhile, Opie begins to mount Ant from behind.

"I'm all in," quietly whispers Opie, making Anthony slightly grunt, while biting down on E-Rock's bosoms. "I'm all in," he says again, this time a little louder, thrusting harder.

"Unnff--" mouths Anthony, whose mouth is covered in Nagel blubber, his dirty, foreign Italian cock being milked by the Nagel's kid's juicy prick. E-Rock for his efforts, runs his hands through Ant's hair, showing compassion and love, accidentally pulling off a clump of his clown hair.

"Careful," responds Anthony, who is barely being held together by plastic surgery, "those are individually placed follicles."

"I'm all in! I'm all in!" Opie's shouting becomes heavier and louder. "I'm all in! I'm all in! I'm all in with the Cumia asshole!"

There's thrusting, there's fucking, there's groaning. Opie is inside of Anthony. Anthony is inside of E-Rock. E-Rock is kissing Opie. Opie is taking Anthony's testicles in his mouth. E-Rock is eating Opie's asshole. Anthony is sandwiched between E-Rock and Opie, their tits squishing Anthony's horrifying Freddy Krueger face. Everyone's prostate is milked. It's a gay triangle of fucking.

"Don't tell Gavin," Anthony says, while in ecstatic, anal glee.

"Don't tell Snowy," replies the Opster, "or Brother Wease. Or Chris DeStefano and his dad."

E-Rock is now hunched over, taking it in the shitter from Anthony, while blowing Opie.

"HOW DOES IT FEEL, FUCKER?" yells Opie, who has a handful of E-Rock's hair, fucking the lad's face off, while Anthony does his best 10 year old Andrew Dice Gay impression. It's just a neverending onslaught of cum, anal, cum-swapping, milking and ass eating... when suddenly, the door opens again...!

Standing before them is Fez Whatley.

"My God, you guys are fucking faggots," yells Whatley, as he slams the door shut and walks away, leaving E-Rock and his 2 heroes in post-coitus glee.

The end.

The way you wrote it makes it seem like Erock received dead mice in the mail.

Then they suck each other off durring a 20 minute dildo ad.