Gregg's contributions from today's show(6/15)

65  2016-06-15 by MLBbrain

Gregg starts the show by singing what song was playing. "In God Countryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy." Gregg is laughing and tells Jimmy he wants to be a singer and says Jimmy gives him these looks.

Gregg sings again. Gregg says maybe he should take some singing lessons and do some karaoke.

Gregg says he fuckin reads.

Gregg, out of breath and sounding like he is so special says, "I am not even jokin. I swear to God." Because he said he watched cash cab just to see the landmarks in the background.

14 minutes in and Gregg has said "right" about 20 times.

EROCK says it's now a recovery mission now in Orlando for the boy most likely got eaten by an alligator. Gregg, all serious, says "Well, yeah. Gotta wait for the Alligator to poop it out." Jimmy tells Gregg well or the kid drowned. Even if it didn't eat him he still drowned.

Gregg says, "ISIS doesn't like the gay."

Gregg didn't say any other word besides "right." He must've said it 7 times in a row.

Gregg and a caller talk over each other, sounds like Gregg might've hit his mic away.

Gregg says he finds himself off Twitter more and more.

Gregg does the "Twitter voice"

Gregg says the media "doesn't give a fuck" in not his voice.

When talking about a clip they just watched of Anderson Cooper interviewing an Attorney General about her stance on gay people, they all talk about the Anderson owning the woman. Gregg, 3 times in a row while Jimmy is making jokes and talking about how she is panicking, keeps saying hamada repeatingly in a weird voice.

Gregg tells a lame story of when back when he was a caddy, other caddies would run to the parking lot to go home when the caddy master wasn't looking.

Jim says imagine living with that attorney general, because he isn't dumb. Gregg moments later says imagine being married to her...

Gregg does a laugh I haven't heard ever before.

Gregg is overexcited that the press is picking up what Gervais told Jimmy about Netflix picking up his show.

Gregg says there is a "BIIIIG surprise guest later on" in a voice of not his own.

Gregg makes a growling noise after he asks Hammond if he ever wonders if he thinks not to say anything about something when he is impersonating someone.

Gregg says, "There they are, right there on the Google" when talkin about Trump hand movements. He says Google in a phlegm like voice.

Hammond talks about being pissed that KFC had other people play Colonel Sanders and how they pitched him by sending him stuff of his, and meeting the Sanders family. Gregg says, "I gotta tell ya, I was surprised when they switched you out because it seemed pretty serious."

Gregg asked if green chili's are really hot.

Gregg says he doesn't like to see anything before everybody else because he wants to spoil it when the guest comes in.

Gaffigan is talking about knowing comics on tv and saying to himself why isn't he on that show. He says a different set up and saying he knows the writer from that show, why isn't he on that show. When Gaffigan was saying show the second time, Gregg decides to say it to with his Gaffigan impression.

Gaffigan says back in the day, his kids would take something from the store he didn't know about, he use to bring the kid back and the cashier would play a long of how you can't do that, but nowadays they ask if they should call the police. Gregg says he went about it the other way and use to be happy when he would "find a lil treat" his kids brought home and looked at it as something extra they got from the store. Gaffigan but nowadays you can't do that. Gregg switches his tune and says no not now. Now he gotta go back to the store and go through the whole thing.(Aren't Gregg's kids young still? How back in the day did he use to do this that he claims it was even back then)

Gaffigan talks about people tweeting asking him when he is coming to their city, even though he just left. Jimmy jokes and says yeah and those people were at the show. Gregg butts in and says "We've had that plenty of time...where...ya know...ya...Jimmy will..they'll call and say...ya whatever you just said i. What am I doing. Yeah...they'll do that."

Gregg says, "I don't know what are spoilers. Is this alright to say?" As you can hear paper that I am guessing Gregg is passing to Gaffigan

Gaffigan says he wish sometimes the casting director would look at headshots so he didn't have to waste 3 hours going down to the audition when once they seem him, they knew he was wrong for the role. Gregg pipes in and says, "Yeah and get sitters...or..what not." Gregg's ignored as if he never said anything

Gregg bringing out his deep voice.

Gregg says, "there ya go" after Jimmy makes a joke.

Gregg blurts out he just got a text that says if you want to kill Hammond's breathing it's mic 6. People in studio said what?(Convo was going strong and he didn't say anything for a good 5 minutes because Gaffigan,Jimmy and Leno were flowing, so I guess he felt he needed to contribute)

Gregg blurts out "Jayy Lenooo" for no reason.

Gregg asks Leno what else besides cars are in his car garages. Leno makes a mockery out of the question.

Gregg says nobody has as many cars as Leno. Leno says what? Com on, let's of people do. Opie goes high pitch as says something that isn't clear.

Gregg seems scared to ask his next question since Jay has been laughing at his mockingly. Gregg, timidly, asks Jay, "Do you have insurance on your cars?"

92 comments

Side notes: Vic Henly was more annoying today than Gregg. If him always laughing at his own jokes weren't bad enough, his laugh absolutely sucks. That noise he does with his mouth or nose is unbearable.

Gregg didn't say much when Hammond, Gaffigan and Leno were all in together.

Leno thinks Gregg is an absolute joke. He laughed at most questions Gregg asked him and mocked him a few times.

Aside from Vic Henley, this might be worth listening to. I'm going to give it a try and see if I can tune him out. You are the war zone/combat reporter of this sub. You endure so we don't have to.

It really is a great service, it's so much better than listening. If I listened I'd just get angry. So glad Leno mocked him.

I should shoot myself for seeking out the Weird Al interview.

Gregg and Jim are the WORST interviewers. ALL little boy questions: Who was the biggest star you ever met? What was the funniest song you ever wrote? Did you meet Prince? Did you meet Paul McCartney? Did you meet Michael Jackson?

Asked him THREE times what job he would have if he didn't write funny songs. "Uh..well, I went to architecture school..."

I thought Opie was ALL ABOUT THE HANG!

I really hope Opie gets run over, or strangled with piano wire by his wife this weekend.

I can't really blame them since I wouldn't give a flake of shit about anything Weird Al, or 98% of other celebrities, has to say about anything. I'd look at it as an annoying part of the job and blather out banalities until it was over too. Better yet, I just wouldn't invite any of those assholes into the studio in the first place. But tits is always looking to play the odds in hopes of hitting the "viral" lottery eventually if he gets enough celebrities in. Maybe one will finally drop something that forces TMZ to print the name of the show is his thinking I'm pretty sure.

What about wormerson inviting those people on just so he can take a pic

For the life of me I can't understand why he doesn't try really hard to correct that laugh. To describe it, it starts out as Chip, then 10,000 gallons of snot is added to a tunnel that Chip is gasping and drowning in. The hell is the matter with the guy?

Leno to Vic "Being a jackass means you might be smart, you're just stupid."

Vic Henly also has to repeat himself over and over again. We heard you!

No one repeats themselves more than Tits. Tits Two Two. Says everything twice. Everything twice.

I'm gonna go check my numbahs, check my numbahs

Radio audience is constantly changing, gotta repeat things for the people that just tuned in that second.

Leno thinks Gregg is an absolute joke. He laughed at most questions Gregg asked him and mocked him a few times.

Can you elaborate, that sounds delightful.

Did Leno actually mock Opie?

Yeah, but he mocked everybody because most of the questions were stupid. The only good question came from a caller about Bill Hicks shitting on him.

That's great, I had to assume Leno would respond accordingly to these idiots.

he's got that mock-you money

[removed]

Welcome to reddit. New users are able to submit posts after 48 hours.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[removed]

Welcome to reddit. New users are able to submit posts after 48 hours.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

I hate myself for reading every word of these.

Its this or more Jezebel articles and Gavin updates. I'll stick with the enemy I know, right guys?

Me too..

But I can't help it!

I listen and I still read it..I should get hobbies. 🙃

🙄

🙃

He watches fucking Cash Cab but can't find time to watch Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones?

his brain is made of soggy playing cards and orange peels

he couldn't even follow the simplistic trivia on a TV show where the top prize is 500 bucks, he had to find enjoyment in the fucking background images like a baby einstein video

These summaries of yours really drive home, in the clearest possible way, how mentally handicapped Gregg really is.

More like handicrapped. Am I right gang?

Tsss, fuckin good one Knickah.

Yes

Should be "I know." And then a smiley face. Sock cucker.

I dance to the beat of my own drum McGowan

Linda Ronstadt over here.

Damn you McGowan, I'll see you get yours, you mark my words.

Come now, there's no need for that kind of talk! I admire your commitment, chum.

The NOFX one is pretty RAWKIN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyukvmVRHgE

This one's for you, muffin.

I had 2 fresh muffins just now. I got back from work and there was a muffiny smell in the air.

Heaven!

Bliss presents itself in mysterious ways, my friend! Haha!

brb creating alt accounts to downvote all of this faggotry properly

Reddit notices when you do that and eventually evens it out with robot upvotes.

I love these.

Jimmy had a good line

Jimmy: I thought you liked Trump?

Leno: Well, I used to like Bill Cosby, too.

Jimmy: I just started liking him.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE LIE ABOUT HIS MOTHERFUCKING KIDS STEALING GROCERIES????????????????

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

Gregg does a laugh I haven't heard ever before.

lol, I would like to hear this

Gregg says the media "doesn't give a fuck" in not his voice.

This is so unspecific and yet I know exactly how he said it

I'm assuming in Florentine's voice. Ech.

So when I tuned in the show was right at this point, this note doesn't even do it justice as to how fucking dumb this was.

Jimmy was making a point about the media, and Opie interrupted saying "the media doesn't give a fuckkkkk" line in this shit voice.

fucking Vic Henley had the hardest fucking cackling laugh when Opie said this, and it wasn't even close to being funny. Since it got a "laugh" in Opie's opinion he decided to repeat the "doesn't give a fuck" 3 or 4 times within the next minute. It further led to Vic explaining his hard laugh.

It was the shittiest and most confusing minute of radio I've ever experienced, and on top of all of this Jimmy was trying to make a salient point on the matter at hand.

You've somehow managed to make this dullard compelling.

You're a fucking alchemist.

Opie thinking it's cute with the constant teasing of spoilers is so annoying. I'm annoyed & I haven't even listened to the show just your read your recap. Btw great job dissecting Greggs mental illness I read all these posts & it makes me miss the show less & less but wanna hear about Opies oddness more, like why would he think for a second that Jay Leno might not insure some of his antique cars.

Gregg doesn't know what's good because he's a no talent hack. He was told ( back in " the " day " ) by WEEEEEEEZE that you just have to keep making noises so the bosses know you're actually there.

I know it speaks volumes about my shitty life but I love shitting on Gregg so much. I love it.

Nothing to be ashamed of, shitting on Opie is my life's passion

His teasing always stops the show and no one but him enjoys it. He is an odd man.

I listened today and noticed that while Gaffigan and Leno were in studio together, Leno was conducting the interview of Gaffigan and not surprisingly, doing a good job of it. It really hammered home how bad Opie and Jim are at their jobs.

More than a couple times, Leno mocked Opie or Opie & Jim for not knowing anything. It was wonderful.

Opie reading the note about "Hammond is on mic 6 if you want to quiet the breathing" was one of the most cringe-inducing things ever. Yes, it was annoying, but OP is accurate in that Opie hadn't said anything for a good long time, so I guess he felt it was his chance to get involved in his show, oh, and embarrass one of his guests while he was at it. There was absolutely NO reason he had to say that into the mic. And then say it two or three more times to really hammer home this nothing statement that brought an actual conversation to a halt.

And lastly, I used to enjoy Vic before he became one of the 4 rotating 3rd mics, but somebody needs to tell this fuck to pull away from the mic when he laughs, not to swallow it and laugh as loud and obnoxiously as possible into it. Gaffigan had some times when his speaking voice was a little low, so I had to turn up my stereo. Then Vic would find something IMPOSSIBLY funny and scream-laughs into the mic. Fuck my ears and speakers, I guess.

Vic Henley has never said a single funny thing on the show. The only interesting thing he has done was when he was talking to Sasha Baron Cohen about filming Bruno, the behind the scenes stuff was entertaining, but that was mostly because of Sasha. Vic thinks repeating pointless trivia is comedy. I'm not just saying that Vic isn't funny on the show, I'm saying he has never even tried to be funny. He's never made a joke. This guy is a comedian for decades? Has he given up? Vic, nobody gives a shit about Auburn or stories from your youth.

He made me laugh once. Lady Di said that the funeral home made Bill look really nice. He said, "before they burned 'im up?"

So, yeah, more than zero for me.

Gregg blurts out "Jayy Lenooo" for no reason.

This feels like Lynsi's custody petition.

Did something happen to opie? It's like he can't hold a normal conversation anymore. Of course it was always Anthony and jimmy leading the interviews for all those years so I didn't notice but it is really bad now. This rundown really brings it to light how bad the interviews are now when lead by him

[deleted]

He's doing us a great service. Don't discourage him.

Is this every single contribution he made today? If so, it's amazing how his crutches have now totally consumed every single utterance he makes. He isn't even in the same universe as somebody who is capable of making a coherent, independent thought.

He missed the WORST Greggism of the day, in my opinion. Hammond was talking about how he once had to do a corporate gig, but the venue had construction crews doing demo work. The doors were open and the concrete drills drowned out his set. Vic says the three most important things are the stage, lighting, and sound, you might be able to get away if one is messed with but not two.

Hammond says something like Lorne Michaels having control of Studio 8H and "can you imagine doing SNL with a street drill? Or a Caterpillar?" and makes construction noises ZZZZVZZBZZZ. This gets some legit chuckles. Gets brought up again 10 minutes later about Hammond's other corporate set in Chicago not being good but doesn't want to get into it, but as a callback says "it wasn't their fault, a frontloader drove across the stage" (deserved laughter) "like a Caterpillar tractor or a backhoe beepbeepZZZbooop, BZZZZ DRRZZZZ and I'm up there going 'so.. any birthdays? any..-

ME: "They're delivering sod in the middle of your set!!! HUHUHUH"

DH: "anniversaries..."

Gregg hadn't said anything since he declared that Hammond "You got an energy drink, you got black err iced coffee" so he chimes in with that fucking home run while they're talking about obnoxious construction noises... The only thing I can imagine being LESS noisy than delivering sod is stacking mattresses or folding socks or Lynsi when he comes home.

He really has absolutely no grasp on comedy, timing, delivery, or common sense. I hOpie needs a double kidney transplant, his 85 siblings tells him to go fuck because of his irritably depressed narcissism, and when he asks Susquehanna and St. Lawrence to go all in wit da transplantssss he finds out they're not a match because they share 0% of his DNA. BAM

Gregg says, "ISIS doesn't like the gay."

"I NEVER RESPECT THE GAY! I NEVER RESPECT THE FAG!"

no love for the juhhhs either

"Gregg says nobody has as many cars as Leno. Leno says what? Com on, let's of people do. Opie goes high pitch as says something that isn't clear. "

haaa thats classic titster. goddamn him

I can't get enough of these

Every time I try to remain calm but by the last few sentences my teeth are always clenched.

I appreciate that the effort you put into this would otherwise have been put into a hit list of girls who didn't smile at you in school.

So he made no mention of Anthony trying to call the show yesterday? What a bum.

"Gregg does a laugh I haven't heard ever before"

Oh man. We need a timestamp.

I wonder if it's as baffling as his turkey call.

do distefano, Henley and Sherrod sleep in cots in the back?

Uh oh! Cots sounds like Cotton! I'm black! mound of tongue breaches tooth-line

I care about you too much to see you take all these years off your life by listening to the show

The sad thing is that you could be making all of this up and I'd have no idea.

I find these funny, but at the same time you could write these about anything and in the proper context they'd be funny and make someone look awful... In other words...

Keep up the good work.

Well done as usual.

Please never stop doing this, it's the highlight of my day.

🙄

🤔

😯

😔

Darrell Hammond was terrible. Boring. Irrelevant. Monotone. Just terrible.

Thank you for suffering so we don't have to.

Gregg blurts out he just got a text that says if you want to kill Hammond's breathing it's mic 6. People in studio said what?(Convo was going strong and he didn't say anything for a good 5 minutes because Gaffigan,Jimmy and Leno were flowing, so I guess he felt he needed to contribute)

What a fucking shitlord.

Can you do one where you just count how many times he says "right?"

Yes.

Did they bring up how everybody was so pleased he wasn't in yesterday?

Gregg blurts out "Jayy Lenooo" for no reason.

hahaha I'm angry just reading that

Gregg and a caller talk over each other, sounds like Gregg might've hit his mic away.

Just heard that part. He's never come off as more of a spoiled little crybaby, and he didn't even need to say a word. Tantrum-throwing little cunt.

You are fucked.

I cant read. Did he make up some bullshit excuse for not answering Anthony's call?

Gregg and a caller talk over each other

I don't know why this made me laugh so much.

I had something I actually wanted to listen to end so autoplay rolled into the intro of Spuds McFagtits "jokingly" singing the hook of the U2 song in his fake radio voice, and I was filled with blinding rage for an entire minute after scrambling to bash the window closed.

Gregg threw a hissy fit when a caller spoke over him, he then knocked the mic away. When going into the next break, he said he needed Mars in to fix a broken mic, the one pissy boy broke.

I really hope Opie gets run over, or strangled with piano wire by his wife this weekend.

I can't really blame them since I wouldn't give a flake of shit about anything Weird Al, or 98% of other celebrities, has to say about anything. I'd look at it as an annoying part of the job and blather out banalities until it was over too. Better yet, I just wouldn't invite any of those assholes into the studio in the first place. But tits is always looking to play the odds in hopes of hitting the "viral" lottery eventually if he gets enough celebrities in. Maybe one will finally drop something that forces TMZ to print the name of the show is his thinking I'm pretty sure.

his brain is made of soggy playing cards and orange peels

he couldn't even follow the simplistic trivia on a TV show where the top prize is 500 bucks, he had to find enjoyment in the fucking background images like a baby einstein video

Damn you McGowan, I'll see you get yours, you mark my words.

no love for the juhhhs either