Let's call the gang and see who we can get in here. Shocker that Vic was the only one that responded since he has no career. Shoot me in the face with AIDS peckahs.
ME: When we do these surprise shows, we can just fool around and there's nothing really serious about it... as opposed to normal when I can't read, do no show prep, pretend to not know things, and generally am as boring as paint chips WASSAT
ME: I'm not used to it when people show interest in my life. Eww.
Vic thinks it's hilarious that they did a montage of the year for Kindergarten.
Fuck me, DiStefano is in.. I'm out. Back to Jim Jeffries archives.
ME: I told people about margarine and sugar sandwiches.
DiStefano: What's in it? Margarine and sugar?
Why am I still listening..
ME: I was so poor we could only eat pizza, bruised apples, lunch in a cement bag.. who wants to bet he brings up ketchup and store brands? SURPRISE SHOW!!
DiStefano's mom had five miscarriages.. she was off by one, what a quitter. Don't worry, his dad had a gender pool going and had to pay out thousands of dollars because he wanted Chris to be a girl. On tomorrow's Bonfire, I expect Chris to say his dad made thousands of dollars. His dad was a degenerate gambler who bankrupt his family... except he just said as an only child, he had brand name everything foods growing up... hmm..
Oqie was so poor that they didn't have suntan lotion! They had to use baby oil whenever they went to their grandma's beach house in Wading River. I guess having a beach house on the North Shore of Suffolk County is evidence of his food stamps cred.
Oqie got sunburned in 30 minutes by laying on grass in Florida in the middle of winter and was incapacitated for five days. Between this and frolicking on Long Island with 0 SPF, fingers crossed we'll see his melanoma spread.
DiStefano's wife allegedly didn't realize that when she got a butterfly tattoo over her heart for her mother that she didn't realize she was getting it on her left breast. Not sure when she apparently made this realization, but I'm guessing it was probably when the tattoo artist took a needle to her mammaries... Vic thinks this is the most hilarious thing since the last unfunny thing he cackled at 30 seconds ago.
Oqie has been bitching that Paul didn't play Black Keys - Howlin' For You to open the show. They did in fact open with this song, but Oqie doesn't know a thing about music so he has to make Paul look incompetent because he's a boorish dullard.
Chris has some friend who keeps asking him to hang out and Chris keeps dodging him. Oqie wonders why some people can't take the hint.. Like why he can't take a hint that the only two comedians in all of New York City that responded to him have a shared IQ in the double digits.
Basketball talk. I don't know shit about it, so I'm just going to assume everything Oqie says is incorrect since that's a very safe bet. He just said "Cleveland is going to have to do that the next two games to have a shot.." I didn't realize that in order to have a shot at winning a best of 7 series, a team has to win FOUR games?!?!
CDS making fun of Stephen Curry's shoes. Oh my gawd it's The View for menopausal men. Despite being married to a Puerto Rican, CDS just 100% serious said "Boo-dee-kweh" instead of "Bory-kwa". That's akin to being married to an Italian and saying "gwo-dah" instead of "guido".
All three of them are now bragging about how much they don't like to go out, do things, drink with friends, have fun, or socialize.
Ronnie B just showed up to literally take out the trash and says it's because he still has to pay off his college bills. Says he's like Rudy, playing for the football team during the day and working at night. First funny thing to happen. Oqie ruins it by making a "You gotta vote for Bernie Sanders, you wouldn't have to pay off your student loans! Hurr durr!" joke.. it bombs in typical fashion because it makes zero sense... Bernie wants free public college tuition not forgiving loans. Ronnie B saves it by saying man you guys are late to work, gotta stop the drinking. Presumably a rag at Sherrod for showing up three hours late yesterday. Dassadrunk doe jus boozin n not workin.
Vic is rambling about movies and Ron White. Ronnie B is out after five minutes. Can't blame him. Plugging his Unmasked with Jay "Liftin' Gloves" Oakerson.
Oqie mentions he ate pizza at his son's Kindergarten graduation for the third time in one hour. Throw to break ALL IN WIT DA Thunderclap Newman. I gotta piss and run to a meeting. I'll resume my factually accurate observations when I'm back.
K I'm back. Good news, Panerians.. Broccoli and cheddar soup is still our #1 seller!
ME: Paul can't run a board. (maybe because you just have him recording shitty video all day)
Sounds totally fine to me, Oqie just 'bustin balls, none of this means sheeeet' SAAAMMMMMAAAAY BRANMUFFINS in studio.. maybe he can save this sinking ship. I love the little nappy headed neanderthal on this show although his is terrible. Dassabessdo jus shit stirrin n trollin.. Oqie mentions kindergarten for at least the 20th time.
Mick Foley has a papillon... so does my girlfriend.. And he takes it to something to "Martial Arfs" and because he never bothered to train it, he got fined $3,000 for pissing and shitting all over the place. Even Mankind can't make this show manly.
Mick shits on Vic again. Vic laughs a AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHHHAAAAAAA and admits "I wasn't even listening and he got me." Proof that Vic is a lizard person imitating human reactions. Actually, he's probably closer to that Baby Alive doll that pisses itself because it doesn't know how to act like a proper person.
Oqie tells the "Mick Foley is cheap and slept on fans' couches" story for the 85th time. Mick says the last time he did that was because people came to visit, not to see him as World Champ but because the guy's girlfriend is a crack dealer. Vic laughs so obnoxiously loud that I think my headphones just peaked. Paul: PLEASE use the limiter when Vic is in studio.
Oqie is somehow deluded enough that he somehow thought that after Sex for Sam, his radio station would have single-handedly brought down the Sam Adams brewing company. Oqie saw him in New York and didn't bother to say hi because he's a manchild.
Oqie mentions Mick sleeping on couches for the 86th time. Calls Sam "Buzz Kill". Wish Sam would call him "Big Tittied Guest Stealer". Oqie compliments Mick losing weight. Oqie somehow makes it about himself, saying "I" and "me" more than any normal person would when they're third person in a conversation. Mick is out, Vic was apparently waving at the cameras filming Mick's reality show like a bucktoothed autistic lesbian Dory the Nemo fish.
Oqie refuses to plug Mick's reality show despite stealing the guest for 20 minutes and "being friends with Mick for 20 fffawkin years". Sam calls him a bad host. Funny moment #3. Ah fuck they're going to 7.. I'm not doing the whole show.
CDS says Mick smells really good and wanted to guess that he was a size 36 waist. He then says Europeans at comedy clubs are impressed when he goes "size 31?" about their pants size because "ahh 'ee knows zee European sizes." Spoilers: that's not how European sizes work. In Metric system a 31 inch waist is about a size 78. CDS makes a "Denny has a Zika head" joke for like the 128th time.
Sherrod texts Oqie saying "I'm doing man on the street for my show and there's eye candy EVERYWHERREREE. New York when it's warm man" Despite ALWAYS shitting on man on the street, Oqie just brings this up for no reason whatsoever other than to hear himself speak and no one does anything with it..
CDS is going through the "celebrities" who follow him on Twitter but never respond to him. Oqie states that he doesn't follow Curt Schilling on Twitter despite drinking with him all the time. CDS says he checks Twitter every day to see if Oliver Platt has ever written him back.. Go to break with Warren Zevon (Vic's pick shocker).
Back from break with Flag Pole Sitter by Harvey Danger who's just BURNING up the charts right now!!
CDS auditioned for Jim Gaffigan's show on TV Land twice and was dinged twice. That and the 3 star rating Benders has on Netflix (it had 1 star rating for like two weeks and rightfully so), CDS should take the hint and take a bullet.
Vic cracks himself and Oqie up by saying Fiddle Faddle. Oqie then admits he had no idea what Fiddle Faddle was.
Jim Gaffigan and Daryl Hammond in studio tomorrow, Kevin Brennan Thursday, "no show Friday fuck that". Oqie cracks himself up that if he gets three shows in during the summer that's a lot. In Harry Hater voice goes "whhhhhat are you on Howard's scheduleeee now" and he's the only one who loffs at it. Oqie teasing "Thursday for the first time on our show a HUUUGE A-lister, BIIIIG FAWKIN time. I'm gonna scribble a bit more so it sounds like a longer name." Hmm.. wanna bet it's Trump? Lololol nope. But Vic says it's a "he" and Oqie says that "Roland would drop dead if you say it".
CDS is ssso bad for eating sso much and having no self-control. omg gurlz. Oqie is "shaking so bad. I'm Jonesing" for a muffin and STILL might lose the battle.. OH NO!!!
What a NEEEEEDY bag of shit that Gregg is. Probably gave his family attitude all day cause there was a actual talent in studio today he was missing out on. He thinks the public is bummed out that they didn't hear his non-opinion opinions on todays news, so he slaps a shit pack together for a afternoon show. Fuckin Yuck.
20 comments
17 RamonFrunkis 2016-06-14
Let's call the gang and see who we can get in here. Shocker that Vic was the only one that responded since he has no career. Shoot me in the face with AIDS peckahs.
ME: When we do these surprise shows, we can just fool around and there's nothing really serious about it... as opposed to normal when I can't read, do no show prep, pretend to not know things, and generally am as boring as paint chips WASSAT
ME: I'm not used to it when people show interest in my life. Eww.
Vic thinks it's hilarious that they did a montage of the year for Kindergarten.
Fuck me, DiStefano is in.. I'm out. Back to Jim Jeffries archives.
ME: I told people about margarine and sugar sandwiches. DiStefano: What's in it? Margarine and sugar? Why am I still listening..
ME: I was so poor we could only eat pizza, bruised apples, lunch in a cement bag.. who wants to bet he brings up ketchup and store brands? SURPRISE SHOW!!
DiStefano's mom had five miscarriages.. she was off by one, what a quitter. Don't worry, his dad had a gender pool going and had to pay out thousands of dollars because he wanted Chris to be a girl. On tomorrow's Bonfire, I expect Chris to say his dad made thousands of dollars. His dad was a degenerate gambler who bankrupt his family... except he just said as an only child, he had brand name everything foods growing up... hmm..
Oqie was so poor that they didn't have suntan lotion! They had to use baby oil whenever they went to their grandma's beach house in Wading River. I guess having a beach house on the North Shore of Suffolk County is evidence of his food stamps cred.
Oqie got sunburned in 30 minutes by laying on grass in Florida in the middle of winter and was incapacitated for five days. Between this and frolicking on Long Island with 0 SPF, fingers crossed we'll see his melanoma spread.
DiStefano's wife allegedly didn't realize that when she got a butterfly tattoo over her heart for her mother that she didn't realize she was getting it on her left breast. Not sure when she apparently made this realization, but I'm guessing it was probably when the tattoo artist took a needle to her mammaries... Vic thinks this is the most hilarious thing since the last unfunny thing he cackled at 30 seconds ago.
Oqie has been bitching that Paul didn't play Black Keys - Howlin' For You to open the show. They did in fact open with this song, but Oqie doesn't know a thing about music so he has to make Paul look incompetent because he's a boorish dullard.
Chris has some friend who keeps asking him to hang out and Chris keeps dodging him. Oqie wonders why some people can't take the hint.. Like why he can't take a hint that the only two comedians in all of New York City that responded to him have a shared IQ in the double digits.
Basketball talk. I don't know shit about it, so I'm just going to assume everything Oqie says is incorrect since that's a very safe bet. He just said "Cleveland is going to have to do that the next two games to have a shot.." I didn't realize that in order to have a shot at winning a best of 7 series, a team has to win FOUR games?!?!
CDS making fun of Stephen Curry's shoes. Oh my gawd it's The View for menopausal men. Despite being married to a Puerto Rican, CDS just 100% serious said "Boo-dee-kweh" instead of "Bory-kwa". That's akin to being married to an Italian and saying "gwo-dah" instead of "guido".
All three of them are now bragging about how much they don't like to go out, do things, drink with friends, have fun, or socialize.
Ronnie B just showed up to literally take out the trash and says it's because he still has to pay off his college bills. Says he's like Rudy, playing for the football team during the day and working at night. First funny thing to happen. Oqie ruins it by making a "You gotta vote for Bernie Sanders, you wouldn't have to pay off your student loans! Hurr durr!" joke.. it bombs in typical fashion because it makes zero sense... Bernie wants free public college tuition not forgiving loans. Ronnie B saves it by saying man you guys are late to work, gotta stop the drinking. Presumably a rag at Sherrod for showing up three hours late yesterday. Dassadrunk doe jus boozin n not workin.
Vic is rambling about movies and Ron White. Ronnie B is out after five minutes. Can't blame him. Plugging his Unmasked with Jay "Liftin' Gloves" Oakerson.
Oqie mentions he ate pizza at his son's Kindergarten graduation for the third time in one hour. Throw to break ALL IN WIT DA Thunderclap Newman. I gotta piss and run to a meeting. I'll resume my factually accurate observations when I'm back.
K I'm back. Good news, Panerians.. Broccoli and cheddar soup is still our #1 seller!
ME: Paul can't run a board. (maybe because you just have him recording shitty video all day)
Sounds totally fine to me, Oqie just 'bustin balls, none of this means sheeeet' SAAAMMMMMAAAAY BRANMUFFINS in studio.. maybe he can save this sinking ship. I love the little nappy headed neanderthal on this show although his is terrible. Dassabessdo jus shit stirrin n trollin.. Oqie mentions kindergarten for at least the 20th time.
Mick Foley has a papillon... so does my girlfriend.. And he takes it to something to "Martial Arfs" and because he never bothered to train it, he got fined $3,000 for pissing and shitting all over the place. Even Mankind can't make this show manly.
Mick shits on Vic again. Vic laughs a AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHHHAAAAAAA and admits "I wasn't even listening and he got me." Proof that Vic is a lizard person imitating human reactions. Actually, he's probably closer to that Baby Alive doll that pisses itself because it doesn't know how to act like a proper person.
Oqie tells the "Mick Foley is cheap and slept on fans' couches" story for the 85th time. Mick says the last time he did that was because people came to visit, not to see him as World Champ but because the guy's girlfriend is a crack dealer. Vic laughs so obnoxiously loud that I think my headphones just peaked. Paul: PLEASE use the limiter when Vic is in studio.
Oqie is somehow deluded enough that he somehow thought that after Sex for Sam, his radio station would have single-handedly brought down the Sam Adams brewing company. Oqie saw him in New York and didn't bother to say hi because he's a manchild.
Oqie mentions Mick sleeping on couches for the 86th time. Calls Sam "Buzz Kill". Wish Sam would call him "Big Tittied Guest Stealer". Oqie compliments Mick losing weight. Oqie somehow makes it about himself, saying "I" and "me" more than any normal person would when they're third person in a conversation. Mick is out, Vic was apparently waving at the cameras filming Mick's reality show like a
bucktoothed autistic lesbianDory the Nemo fish.Oqie refuses to plug Mick's reality show despite stealing the guest for 20 minutes and "being friends with Mick for 20 fffawkin years". Sam calls him a bad host. Funny moment #3. Ah fuck they're going to 7.. I'm not doing the whole show.
CDS says Mick smells really good and wanted to guess that he was a size 36 waist. He then says Europeans at comedy clubs are impressed when he goes "size 31?" about their pants size because "ahh 'ee knows zee European sizes." Spoilers: that's not how European sizes work. In Metric system a 31 inch waist is about a size 78. CDS makes a "Denny has a Zika head" joke for like the 128th time.
Sherrod texts Oqie saying "I'm doing man on the street for my show and there's eye candy EVERYWHERREREE. New York when it's warm man" Despite ALWAYS shitting on man on the street, Oqie just brings this up for no reason whatsoever other than to hear himself speak and no one does anything with it..
CDS is going through the "celebrities" who follow him on Twitter but never respond to him. Oqie states that he doesn't follow Curt Schilling on Twitter despite drinking with him all the time. CDS says he checks Twitter every day to see if Oliver Platt has ever written him back.. Go to break with Warren Zevon (Vic's pick shocker).
Back from break with Flag Pole Sitter by Harvey Danger who's just BURNING up the charts right now!!
CDS auditioned for Jim Gaffigan's show on TV Land twice and was dinged twice. That and the 3 star rating Benders has on Netflix (it had 1 star rating for like two weeks and rightfully so), CDS should take the hint and take a bullet.
Vic cracks himself and Oqie up by saying Fiddle Faddle. Oqie then admits he had no idea what Fiddle Faddle was.
Jim Gaffigan and Daryl Hammond in studio tomorrow, Kevin Brennan Thursday, "no show Friday fuck that". Oqie cracks himself up that if he gets three shows in during the summer that's a lot. In Harry Hater voice goes "whhhhhat are you on Howard's scheduleeee now" and he's the only one who loffs at it. Oqie teasing "Thursday for the first time on our show a HUUUGE A-lister, BIIIIG FAWKIN time. I'm gonna scribble a bit more so it sounds like a longer name." Hmm.. wanna bet it's Trump? Lololol nope. But Vic says it's a "he" and Oqie says that "Roland would drop dead if you say it".
CDS is ssso bad for eating sso much and having no self-control. omg gurlz. Oqie is "shaking so bad. I'm Jonesing" for a muffin and STILL might lose the battle.. OH NO!!!
Max character limit. I'm out.
1 DickPunchOpie 2016-06-14
Damnit Bennington! Now I'm going to have to tune in.
Love the live rundown, keep it up.
1 kirk_peppermint 2016-06-14
Very accurate run down. Thank you. Me and knickers are pals Incase you didn't know
1 TriangleDimes 2016-06-14
This is the greatest
6 SmokeyHoof21 2016-06-14
He just called Kyrie, Kylie... Fucking fake sports fan faggot.
5 ClovisLedbetter 2016-06-14
Anthony called in, Opie wouldn't take the call.
2 SmokeyHoof21 2016-06-14
Really?
3 MikeyStool 2016-06-14
Yep heard it
1 [deleted] 2016-06-14
[deleted]
1 RamonFrunkis 2016-06-14
Where? Too busy uphating my comment.
4 McGowan9 2016-06-14
Opie, Vic Henley and Chris "my dad's a real man's man" DeStefano. I'd rather listen to the Jonestown tapes.
3 TheDannySaint 2016-06-14
Abso-fucking-lutely not.
3 KillinItForUsToday 2016-06-14
What a NEEEEEDY bag of shit that Gregg is. Probably gave his family attitude all day cause there was a actual talent in studio today he was missing out on. He thinks the public is bummed out that they didn't hear his non-opinion opinions on todays news, so he slaps a shit pack together for a afternoon show. Fuckin Yuck.
1 Always_Classy69 2016-06-14
imagine opie fucking
whining tohis kids2 Dennyislife 2016-06-14
What fresh hell is this shit. No.
2 3stepsbackward 2016-06-14
Who the fuck would listen to this shit
2 brasqo 2016-06-14
Thanks for taking one for the team by actually subjecting your ears to that dogshit
1 SmokeyHoof21 2016-06-14
And Retard Chris just joined.
1 late_50s_why 2016-06-14
is that a new character?
1 SmokeyHoof21 2016-06-14
Opie sounds like he snorted a line of unicorn jizz. All uppity as fuck. He needs to be destroyed. Please.
1 MaxKawalski 2016-06-14
I think he's on them confidence pillsssss
1 SmokeyHoof21 2016-06-14
He just called Kyrie, Kylie... Fucking fake sports fan faggot.