Just get a prostitute. You think you want someone to fuck you because they love you, but you don't. There are prostitutes that will kiss. Don't believe what you see in Pretty Woman. They're also not as ugly as Julia Roberts. Forget all this faggoty shit about wanting a girlfriend. Just lose your virginity first

Prostitutes can be pretty fucking needy at times though. Don't give them a way to contact you, like twitter or a cell number, they're all damaged.

If they'll do it for free they can have my number.

Prostitute = woman

Who the fuck goes to a hooker and then says, "by the way, I'm shitdickaidstickler on twitter.... give me a follow!"

Most hookers use twitter to help build a relationship with clients and advertise their services. Some get too close.

Oof.... I bet dumb hookers are funnier on twitter than tits is though

[deleted]

The only answer

Hahaha who made that?

i really, really, really like this picture.

Personally I prefer this one.

have you seen this one?

Well it's keeping with the theme; it certainly makes me want to kill myself.

Wonder what jim Jeffries would think of that

What the fuck

Girlfriends are gay, bro.

My social life is reddit and 4chan.

Well there's your problem, right there.

I'm kind of an introverted, unsociable fuck myself, so I can empathize to a certain degree. Honestly, try online dating--its not a bullshit as it seems. Its a way to interact without actually interacting. Its how I lost my virginity, so give it a shot.

No wonder, you're probably an ugly and fat piece of shit. Is that why you tried lashing out so hard like a little faggot?

There's nothing more disgusting on this earth than a Muslim neckbeard. You'll die a virgin you sad piece of shit.

Go join ISIS or something if you want to change that. Lots of retards like you in there, almost exactly like you in fact! You can rape non-Muslim girls like your beloved Prophet.

Dont seek solace from people online, especially here. Most, if not all, are scum.

Lose weight.

Just get on tinder. You won't magically get a gf if you don't try.

Time to start blaming minorities for your problems, bro.

A minority and 30 year old virgin. Jesus, God fucked you like Ron Jeremy.

You should definitely focus on losing your virginity though. Just get a hooker bro. Just do it. I've never fucked a hooker but that is only because I got extremely fucked up on valium one time and somehow convinced a girl to fuck me. It got easier after that.

Well do something about it!

Get a prostitute.

A dog will love you even if you fuck it

Do you love yourself? If not, learn to love yourself first. No girl wants a dude who mopes around like Charlie Brown.

Girls call me gropey mopey.

Love isn't real homo. You're still a kissless virgin so get a whore.

out of interest, how many women have you ever actively tried to romance?

and anyway, the overwhelming majority of sex that happens has nothing to do with love. its like a sex/love venn diagram. Go fuck anyone (even if its a hooker) and you'll realise that sex its not the big deal you are probably making it out to be. And if you had a relationship, once the sex starts becoming purely functional (and it will), you would need some compatible social skills if you are going to make it last.

ur unlovable tho

I bet you are gay.

Suck a cock then tell us if you feel better.

If not, suck another and kill yourself.

Fucking queers. We need to build a wall.

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Go outside. At night. Get a few drinks in you. Talk to actual women. Ask them questions, they love to talk about themselves. Act interested in their answers but not too interested in them. Don't be picky. Unless you look like a Big A type mutant, you should be able to at least get your fingers sticky.

Don't worry, everyone on reddit is a virgin.

You wish that was the case so your life would seem less pathetic.

I know you're trying to make me ashamed of that or something, but the only subreddit I am ashamed of posting on is this one.

Lol. They tried the same with me because I like sexting and role playing nasty shit in Dirtypenpals. Ultimately someone asked if they could take a shit on my tits and it fizzled out soon after. You're on the right track though just use the hell out of the internet ..most guys I hook up with or date come from Tinder or things like it.

You have to be super smooth to ask if you can shit on someone's tits

Well he had a pretty good "in" because I have a post in my history in Dirtypenpals saying that I would do toilet play.

So in fairness to him he was really being very attentive/digging through post history.

That's a terrible vortex of sexy shit talk and determined stalking

It was on this sub he was just teasing me. I prefer it to being called a man. Lol

It was on this sub he was just teasing me. I prefer it to being called a man. Lol

If you ever want to recreate the sensation of someone crossing a line and saying something disturbing, feel free to pm me

30/f/boston

Are you a refugee? LOOOOOL

Do you have the funny accent

Sure do.

Do you ever park the car in yard in Bar Harbor?

Next time ask A/S/L/W/D (age, sex, location, weight, diseases?)

how did you end up here?

The sub? I have been listening to the show mostly since they were on BCN here. A little AAF, but don't remember a ton from that era.

I hope things turn around for you, but theres no way youre more ashamed of anything more than posting to "Forever Alone Dating"

That's such a cop out. People that post here then read other subs on reddit instantly recognize how much of a faggot wasteland the site is. If you're ashamed of posting here it's because you're some limp dick queef that needs reddit to look for girls.

I do that with the scope on my tranquilizer gun

I'm looking for a nerdy lady in the same boat. Someone who hears "games" and thinks video games not head games.

Holy shit is that yuck.

Your username is splendid. Thank you for your service.

I thought the first guy was doing a bit but jesus thats rough.

Back to /R9K/ with you.

Get Dennis Falcone to be your wingman.

Are you joking? That guy's a veritable pussy-magnet! Good luck getting any with that one around!

Just get a reddit girlffriend. That way, you don't have to interact with her in real life and deal with her nagging. She'll occasionally drag herself across the country to fuck you sometimes, too. You'd just have to live with the embarrassment of her fucking other dudes, but at least she'll fuck you sometimes, too; and maybe say "I love you".

edit: and if that doesn't work out, get a cat.

Thanks, this made me feel better. Now whenever you cunts here get under my skin I'll think everyone here is just like this guy and feel superior.

I dont get why shit like this gets downvoted. The comments are actually funny, why wouldnt you want more people to see it? Better than the latest photoshop of anthony with a tranny or whatever crap thats always on the main page.

Go to a bar and get drunk nothing like tipping a few social lubricants back and fucking a piggy to ease into it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2jAwiq6YsE

Step 1. Download tinder Step 2. Get laid

You're still cooler than ShadowbannedKeith and Stinks

OKCupid. Set up a profile and progressively change it as you improve on other parts of your life. Not to assume anything about you but i would say exercise is your friend. If you can't bring yourself to do some running and push ups and what not, find a meet up for something. You know what, do both. The meet up is important cause it'll force you to interact with others, including girls. It doesn't even have to be a sport related meet up.

If you have money, become a regular at a bar. You'll find yourself getting into conversations greased by alcohol. If you become an alcoholic you'll have the AA community to be a part of. Try not to become an alcoholic though

Why would you give up just after you become a wizard?

Set up an OKC account.

Every single day, email five or ten people.

Treat it like a job. Day in and day out, email a few people.

It's a numbers game; do this long enough and you will have more dates than you know what to do with.

The thing that kinda sucks is that it takes a while to put everything in motion; for the first few months it's going to be slow. But once you put in the effort, it becomes second nature.

Buy a wig, squint, and kiss your mirror. It'll be about as fulfilling as trying to get along with some hole who likes netflix.

I'm a morbidly obese mentally ill douchebag, and even I managed to get laid by the time I was 16. If I, probably the most pathetic, disgusting person you'll ever meet, can do it, then anyone who can't should probably strap on that helium bag and make peace with his god.

"I am seriously worried I will end up like Stalker Patti or Lady Di"

Those 2 people have lives that are unimaginably better than yours. Suicide is your only option.

Girls call me gropey mopey.

If you ever want to recreate the sensation of someone crossing a line and saying something disturbing, feel free to pm me