Out of Opie, Ant and Jim, who would you pick to be your dad?
7 2016-05-31 by faustok
I'd pick Jim so I could roll my eyes at his silly jokes.
"Oh dad..." I'd say.
And I'd be the only kid at school whose mommy pees standing up, bragging rights!
7 2016-05-31 by faustok
I'd pick Jim so I could roll my eyes at his silly jokes.
"Oh dad..." I'd say.
And I'd be the only kid at school whose mommy pees standing up, bragging rights!
41 comments
29 peckaface 2016-05-31
Opie. He has the most money, when he dies it go to me
19 rottenseed 2016-05-31
Plus you'd be smarter than him at around 7th grade.
3 [deleted] 2016-05-31
Fuck yeah, plus it won't even be that long.til it happens. But, ya know, since he's your dad, you might feel bad about it. Then again, it is Opie...
4 peckaface 2016-05-31
Just because he may have donated the sperm does not make him a dad. I bet his kids feel closer to their nanny, then they do him.
7 [deleted] 2016-05-31
Good point. I bet when he's around his kids he's just going through his twitter. When one runs up excited about something she drew he goes "HOLD ON HOLD ON, Sonny from Ronkonkoma just liked my tweet. Go bother Juanita, Ringo, I'm checkin my numbahs."
1 JoeCumiaSr 2016-05-31
But he will last about 20 years longer than tranthiny
1 thoughts_n_prayers 2016-05-31
DAADD! STOP SHITTING ON THE BEACH, BRO!
1 destinyaltboy 2016-05-31
You'll need it for therapy.
13 ihaveaholeinmyass 2016-05-31
Jimmy, so I could beat him up when I was 12 years old
5 MaxKawalski 2016-05-31
Fixed, bruthaman.
8 im_not 2016-05-31
Funnier because younger?
9 MaxKawalski 2016-05-31
I dunno. Just trying to be a part of the action lul
9 Bobby_Newpoooort 2016-05-31
Das the best when ur like jokin' and chillin'...
12 evadcobra2 2016-05-31
Colin Quinn
11 GeorgieZhukov 2016-05-31
Ant so I can party and we can double team girls when I'm in grade school.
7 Ant_Sucks 2016-05-31
Ant, so I could tell him I don't love him and he's not my real dad.
7 RacksDiciprine 2016-05-31
Opie because I can guarantee he wouldn't molest me. Say what you will the Opster ain't fucking kids. He prolly don't fuck much of anything anymore. And when he does its in one position, with the lights off, dick pulled thru the pee hole of some whitey tighties, and its over in 30 seconds.
6 RickMirer3 2016-05-31
Not Anthony because my Uncle Joe would molest me.
Not Jim because I wouldn't want my dad to lecture me about his faux sobriety.
I guess it's Opie...rich guy with a trophy wife so I'd be raised by Mexican nannies anyway.
5 bonniesretardsister 2016-05-31
Jim so I could spike his drinks with alcohol and watch him have a meltdown.
4 brmlb 2016-05-31
Dumb, rich people lead the happiest lives. Pick the dumbest, richest option.
2 MouseCunt 2016-05-31
Opie.
2 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-31
Opie, because he just pays a nanny to raise his kids anyways
2 PhilipMarma 2016-05-31
Cumia. He'd make a perfect weekend fun dad in the late 90's.
2 NumeroOtto 2016-05-31
opie(for the money) ... of course you murder him and fuck lynsi ... they adopted me so its not weird
2 TheHotsauceKid 2016-05-31
Opie until I'm like 12 or 13 then Anthony. He'd hook me up with some xanny bars and a solid long island 4. That's 13 year old heaven.
2 destinyaltboy 2016-05-31
Ant for sure. Never Opie. It's only a matter of time til he's screaming at his kids like they're on staff.
1 bigmattson 2016-05-31
Man that's a rough one, Jimmy in theory is the best dad as long as he doesn't finger fuck you...
Opie is the most responsible and by all accounts has a nice beach house to go on vacations... But a boring dad is awful too.
Ant would be the funniest, assuming you're ok with drunken beatings, and weapons being brandished in front of children.
4 kgt5003 2016-05-31
With Ant you also have the awkward possibility of him eventually trying to fuck one of your girlfriends when you are in middle school.
6 bigmattson 2016-05-31
Or one of your gay friends....
2 zenthedude 2016-05-31
"I like balls, Dice." - Anthony Cumia
1 Bobby_Newpoooort 2016-05-31
Just like mom used to make
1 NashuaDan 2016-05-31
Opie, so I could suck on Lynsi's tits.
1 Lish_fips89 2016-05-31
Vinnie Brand.
1 numba13 2016-05-31
Opie because he's the only one that comes with a hot mommy
1 Billyassman 2016-05-31
I'd rather be an orphan
0 Opiessock 2016-05-31
Oh, shitpost faustok ... you got me!
0 PassProtect15 2016-05-31
Opie so that I could walk down the hall and murder him in his sleep.
Also I've always wanted a famous skateboarder to hang out with me on the weekends.
0 FaggotBannedKeith 2016-05-31
Anthony shouldn't even be an option. No way he doesn't ditch you with your mom while calling her "crazy pussy" on his podcast for making him pay child support.
0 dra_kul88 2016-05-31
Ant all the way
-1 parrotpeople 2016-05-31
Opie, cause I might have picked up some superior Margera genetics
-2 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-05-31
Nah Erock would be the best Dad ever. Can we get some love for Big E?
1 Bobby_Newpoooort 2016-05-31
Just like mom used to make