In the great words of the negro poet tyler, the creator.

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha

I think that applies to his future kids to.

tss more like odd future kids or sumpthin

Double sweatshirts!

Metzger is actually an established comedian and he is still more pathetic than us. How the fuck does that happen?

Cocaine's a helluva drug.

"Established comedian" doesn't seem that impressive to me anymore. I'm more impressed by the average window washer than I am some snarky compromiser in a writer's room.

He didn't get hacked I bet. He probably just got so drunk and coked up that he got bitter about a fat cunt like Amy being more popular than him and being his boss so he tweeted out that message. His wife came to his desk after being fucked and used by 3 black men, to have him lick their jizz out of her snatch as usual, and saw what he had tweeted and berated him and made him claim he was hacked so she doesn't lose the money he earns from stealing other shows sketches and putting them on Inside Amy Schumer.

What were the "hacked" tweets saying?

They had actual jokes in them, so everyone knew something was up.

You have a way with words.

Brother be on that Memorial Day Yay.

Starts writing about someone else, unintentionally reveals his own whack-off fantasies. Jeez, dude, bitter much?

Shhhhhhhhhhh

He was hacked. He assumed it was someone from this sub... I hope it was.

I can assure you that was the case.

TTD used his SNL connections.

Seth Myers hacked Metzger's Twitter. This shit runs deep.

Why can't Metzger ever make it funny? Like if he wants to have coke-fueled battles with random people or subs, can't he at least joke about it? I don't follow his career too closely, but he should probably either just try to be funny or get away from twitter. Every time I see anything from him it's just pathetic rambling without even an attempt at a joke.

He really thinks he's hitting us where it hurts and that the humor will come from how on the mark he is. But he's way off saying things to imply we're jealous because we're not friends with Anthony Cumia like he is. It seems to him, we all aspire to be comedians and just can't do it because we're not special like him. I don't even think he's that bad, but why would anyone follow him on twitter if this is what he posts about and how he posts about it?

He isn't the only one. Most of their twitter accounts aren't funny at all. The only comedian being funny on Twitter Steve Martin and occasionally Colin Quinn.

He's clearly not good at being funny

The sub matters so little and is such a joke but the moron spends his time ranting about it on twitter? Hmmm very strange.

Even the mentally retarded Cumia brothers have figured out to just ignore the sub for the most part. Kurt is truly in a league of his own when it comes to moronic behavior.

What an angry little cuckold.

His girls out getting big African loads dumped in her pussy for the holiday weekend and hes just bored at home with his peabody

I love how he thinks calling us "civilians" makes us mad (especially considering some of us are in he military).

It only makes him sound like more of a douche. Jim actually made fun of the term awhile back, he said comedians should stop using it, we're not in combat we tell fucking dick jokes

I triggered him

Kurt's a fag.

He knows we're gonna watch every fucking think Big Amy puts out and will be called out for any more "parallel thinking" that seems to plague her material.

I gotta hand it to him, he really spends hours battling people on Twitter if you insult him. He could have easily just blocked like the standard is around these pussy comedians.

Responding to the hate is far more pathetic then just blocking them and being done with it.

rogan dont even acknowledge them, blocking is OnA universe bitch shit

Rogan is a grown man and not a sissy.

dont know if u are being sarcastic but rogan can prolly ko all the fags from the ona universe in a one night tournament, maybe he would have trouble with ron since hes wearing 300kg of armor

I was dead serious. Rogan is a savage. He's great.

Looks like our favorite comedian scored himself an 8 ball for Memorial Day Weekend.

[deleted]

No clue. Hes had me blocked for months and I rarely tweet.

Cocaine is a helluva drug...

He's really using the term "civilian" to mean "non-comedian" on Memorial Day?

That seems like horrible form. Then again, it's easy to shoot someone in a war. Making them laugh, that must be the real battle.

When I watched the first episode of Horace and Pete, I hated the annoying fuck at the bar so much that I needed to know his name so that I could hate him properly.

That's the first time I saw the name Kurt Metzger.

He's just hurt we don't love him.

An old lady would call them her "programs." Can't even do a hack premise right.

@kurtmetzger:

2016-05-29 20:13:20 UTC

Dear O&A reddit civilians. I know u thought the radio voices were your actual friends. Like when an old lady watches her stories.

^{[Mistake?] [Suggestion] [FAQ] [Code] [Issues]}

[deleted]

[deleted]

Holy shit Metzger. If you want people to feel insignificant next to your glorious flame perhaps avoid talking about them incessantly for several hours. What does Kurt do for fun apart from stealing jokes and coked up tweeting? This is just sad, Metzger already appears to suffer from some kind of ADD or mild retardation and now he's humiliating himself in a public forum. Some of these 'twisted' joke monkeys could really use an intervention.

Imagine knowing when The Big Amy Gravy Train ends you'll have to try to write a sketch show for Sherrod for TV One.

Cocaine?

Big Amy told him he had to be a full SJW to continue getting a paycheck.

Both these guys have tiny dicks for sure.

Who's Kurt Metzger?

That was a fun 30 minutes or so.

i dont know who this guy is.. but he's just made a huge mistake disturbing the hornets nest

hes one of opies minions

He's not a joke thief.

[deleted]

shouldve yelled at the elevator so ppl will hold the door 4 him rite

Is not

By all means, provide your proof.

He has admitted on the Jason Ellis show to hiring black comedians to write jokes on small strips of paper which they deposit into his wife's vagina and which he then sucks out and types into a pirated copy of WordPerfect when he gets home every day.

Source: my sources.

Hi Kurt.

I'm just a fan of his. I don't like the unnecessary idiocy that gets spewed in his direction because he's in an open relationship and writes for IAS. His stand-up is awesome and the parts where he gets to talk on Race Wars I find pretty enjoyable.

Seriously whiteknighting for Kurt, what a faggot.

At least it's not like I'm getting downvoted just for liking the guy! That'd be indicative of the childish mentality of this place.

Yeah that's the only reason you are being downvoted.

I think it's cute how you are on here defending him. Joke thief or not, it's fun to see him get worked up over every little thing.

Race Wars is fucking horrifically stupid.

k

Hey OP,
Are you the guy weakly trying to troll Kurt on Twitter and then claiming you'll forget about him in 2 minutes?
Because everyone knows you're not forgetting anything, that your whole day is poor attempts to copy other people's trolling and then circlejerking over it here and on other message boards.
"You noticed me so I win" is the kind of trolling most people grow out of once their age hits double-digits. But I guess emotional age sometimes lags behind, huh?

It's fun though to see the poor imitation trolling attempts.
Copying buzzwords you heard other edgy kids use...
claiming not to care while you spend hours obsessively reading about other people's lives...
laughing with your anonymous "friends" while the people you hate interact with real people in person...
and worst of all, just plain not being funny. Spending so much time talking about who is funny and who isn't and meanwhile not a single original, funny thought has ever come out of your brain.

Because there's a 140 character lim- oh wait! You were trying to be funny!
If the above doesn't apply to you, simply replace "Kurt" with another celebrity you obsess over.

Hi Kurt!

Yes!
Anyone who doesn't hate who you hate IS the person you hate.
Also, anyone who disagrees with your political opinions is a paid shill of the opposing campaign.
Because the whole world shares your views exactly, so any disagreement MUST be a secret conspiracy.

Kurt's funny. The Kurt and Amy and Opie and Ant and Jimmy and whoever-else-obsessed stalkers are not. How can people be such alleged fans of comedy and yet be so consistently unfunny in their trolling? It's almost like you have no idea what you're talking about and are just miserable losers lashing out in frustration at life.

Only Kurt would respond to two words with a wall of text. Go away, Kurt.

Thank you for just reinforcing my point.

Why are you here, Kurt? Do you enjoy the abuse? You're obsessed, Kurt.

Because everyone here sounds just the voices in his head full of self doubt and self loathing. He can't help himself.

Hi kurt, steal any new jokes lately?

Faggot

[deleted]

no just the whiny long rambling lacking of any humor makes you look like Kurt.

The fact that you included Amy in that looks pretty bad for you but youre not wrong...

Let's see just how downvoted we can get for saying nothing but 'I like Kurt Metzger and he's not a joke thief'

What a fucking useless queer.

[deleted]

I think that applies to his future kids to.

They had actual jokes in them, so everyone knew something was up.

hes one of opies minions

No clue. Hes had me blocked for months and I rarely tweet.

Cocaine is a helluva drug...