I just got back from a date with a gay man. And I have a facial rash that's quite bothersome.

I was starting a GoFundMe for Stalker Patti, but it got way too real when they wanted my real name.

Yeah I'd advise against that, you may end up getting the occasional unwanted email or two. Shame about Patti though.

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Popping some blues, chain smoking a lot cigs, playing Dark Souls 3 and Uncharted 4, watching a lot of tv. That's the shit I REALLY want to do the next 3 days and wish it was completely uninterrupted. Unfortunately.......

.....in the the middle of it all, I will be dragged to barbecues Saturday night and Sunday afternoon all while smiling and being just an all around hoot while getting hopefully blackout drunk on Fireball.....while wishing I was alone and doing what I said in paragraph 1.

You could fake a nice round of diarrhea to get out of bullshit gatherings.

Drink that fireball early and you won't have to fake it

I like to take a lot of sleeping pills then just crash-out in the guest bedroom at these things.

Last night I made some jalapeno jelly, but I don't think I added enough pectin. So tomorrow I'll probably reopen the jars, reboil the jelly and add more pectin. Also made some candied jalapenos that I'm sending to my sister. I started getting into canning a few days ago cuz I have five hens and more eggs than I know what to do with, but haven't pickled any yet.

Yes I know, I'm a fag.

What's with u and jalapeños u creep

This is my first mention of them here. I figured since I was making the candied ones I might as well try my hand at making some jelly too. Tiny jars of the stuff sell for like $5, like not even a cup of it. I probably made like $75 worth of it if I were to sell it. If you haven't tried candied jalapenos, you're missing out, they're great. I can give you the recipe if you want, it's pretty easy to make.

I'll take that recipe, sounds good

Here ya go. It's near the bottom of the page, and instead of using granulated garlic I chopped up a fresh bulb.

Thank you

The recipe says not to open them for a month, but I tried them after two days and they were fine. Good luck!

But it's most likely not as good.... No offense

The jelly really is good, atleast the taste. I tried it before I canned it. The candied jalapenos were even better than a jar my neighbor bought and gave me.

Sounds like u need to get out more,pal

Because I enjoy cooking? Lol, ok.

Making candied jalapeños isn't cooking,it's something a serial killer would do.

It is cooking, they're cooked when they're put into the jar.

I'm just Bustin ur chops,friend. Send me a jar....don't cum in it,I'm trusting u

No, you hurt my feelings.

U had ur chance to murder me via jalapeño.

I trust that you'll do it yourself one day.

This was my way out. I'm a coward

Tss pectins

Finally, someone I can talk conserves with. Two questions, have you tried adding lemon juice to lower the ph in order to get the pectin to set?, and how do you stop from crying at night?

No, and I don't. I ended up reboiling them and adding 3 more ozs of pectin, sometimes if I'm lucky the drugs and booze allow me to pass out in a chair before reality hits.

In future spoon some out into a really cold glass to see if it will set before bottling, and I find that if I bite myself really hard I cry less.

Thanks for the tips!

That's awesome, legitimately.

Have you tried making kimchi yet? Seems very easy.

I haven't, I've never actually eaten it. I also pickled some red onions, but they're ehh, not great. They don't taste bad, it's just an odd flavor.

If you like spicy stuff then you'll want to make kimchi

I'll look into it. My next project is probably gonna be pickled eggs. I have like 70 fuckin eggs and I'm gettin sick of eating them.

No Farmer's Market in your area? Sell those eggs. Cafe free. Free range. Hormone free.

You can just go up there and sell them? I've sold a few dozen before, but they were to people I know. I didn't know you could just go to a farmers market and sell them outta your trunk like an aspiring rapper iin the 90s.

Gotta rent out a space most likely. Usually they're pretty cheap. Price the eggs at the same point as Trader Joe's or Whole Foods.

Now if you're feeling generous you can donate them to a local food bank. Lots of broke ass hungry people these days.

I usually just give them to friends and acquaintances only cuz I'm running out of room to store em. I'm gonna look into both the other options you mentioned too, it's just that bums don't appreciate charity, and I need that self satisfaction that a homeless veteran can't/won't provide.

Definitely check into it. And keep in mind that food banks usually feed hungry families not vagrants.

Farmer's markets are great. Lot's of interesting people and products that you'd never find in a grocery store.

I was joking about the bums. Now I feel all bad...

Post pics of your candied jalapeños and jalapeño jelly and it'll make all of us feel better.

Don't tell me what to do.

Make red onion chutney, red onions, red wine vinegar, brown sugar.. Fuckin great with steak and in beef sandwiches

Edit - were now discussing pickling, chutneys and jams.. This sub is fuckin dead.. Please Anthony, choke a bitch out

I need to buy red wine vinegar, a lot of recipes I've been looking up call for it. Thanks for the recommendation.

Put some raisins in that shit too.

Hmmm, interesting, interesting. Have you considered getting a girlfriend?

I've considered suicide more.

Don't do it! (I'm not being nice, it's just I've got a lot of money invested in the jalapeno trade)

When I go, I'm taking the jalapeno market with me.

What's the average monthly egg yield on five hens?

I duuno, a shitload. Usually 2-4 a day, so 60-120.

I am sitting in all weekend and being depressed since my central air fucking died last week and just cost me $5000 to fix. So I'll probably get some Heinekens and then wash them down with some oxycodone to drown out my sorrows.

Did you pay for dinner? Because shameless poor women who want a free meal do.

ur dealer knows that money is coming to him sooner than later anyway

That's just good business

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Turn to your left please

Studying for exams like a fucking nerd instead of partying, I was with this chick from Norway but i got cock blocked...

I also have a facial rash for some reason :(

Playing overwatch.

On the 3rd Bourne movie.. I think ultimatum is the best

🍸🍺🍻🍷

Liquor before beer makes you go queer. Wine after brews makes you a fucking fagneck dickbeard

Jerking off, grilling out, painting things around the house, getting drunk, smoking blunts and playing video games. Not necessarily in that order.

My missus is away and I'm doing these exact things too, except my weed guy has just gone to prison, so I'm without.

Kiss kiss kiss

Drunk and watching the Do-Over. Might go wondering around town and by some Oxy's

Is Oxy like morphine? I don't think we get oxy here in the UK. Used to have a hook-up for morphine though, that stuff was fucking great.

That new X-Men movie is trash

How bad? I was going to go see it Sunday?

4.2/10

why was it bad though?

The good:

• Lots of eye candy and spectacular action scenes. I loved Psylocke's purple weapons, the few times we get to see Storm use her power, Nightcrawler, Angel's wings (both feathered and metal), Cyclops and Havok's red beams, and Quicksilver literally running all over the exploding mansion. I also loved that elaborate opening with Apocalypse getting buried in the pyramid. Felt like a short film in its own right and I wish we saw more of his Horsemen using their powers. This definitely looked like a comic book film in the best way possible.

• Most of the cast are great. Fassbender, McAvoy, and newcomers Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, and Nightcrawler are fun to watch. I'm looking forward to the sequel where the younger versions of this cast are given more to do. Evan Peters is always a hoot as Quicksilver. Also nice to see Havok return with a much bigger role, even though his sole purpose in the film was to get killed.

• Cinematography was nice. It wasn't afraid to use lots of color, adding to its comic book look. It also had a lot of really great hero shots.

• Wolverine was fun.

The bad:

• Apocalypse was lame and uninteresting. Felt like a villain of the week of some fantasy TV series. He wants to clean the world and be worshipped again. Ok then.

• Movie was all over the place. It was doing so much and ended up accomplishing almost nothing in the end. It was so busy introducing so many characters that it forgot to develop any of them. It also doesn't help that these characters were spread out in like 20 different countries so the movie had to find a way to put them all together. The movie clearly forgot to streamline the script because it was all just really clumsily written and haphazardly edited. It had no momentum. The paper thin plot doesn't even kick in until the third act. Everything before that was either set-up or a distracting side plot (our main mutants get captured by Stryker and then they escape. Also they meet Wolverine along the way. The next movie's villain is set-up. Ok then.)

• Jennifer Lawrence looked like she wanted to be far, far away from the set. She looked bored throughout the movie, and she really sticks out like a sore thumb because the rest of the cast were really enthusiastic or at least were trying their best when the cameras were rolling. It was especially jarring when she was in a scene with Quicksilver, Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Nightcrawler. Everyone was totally in character and had their game on. Meanwhile Mystique looked like she was reading her lines from cue cards.

• The last shot of X-Men: Days of Future Past is now nonsensical, and unless I'm mistaken, the filmmakers have completely ignored that the last time we saw Mystique, she was in the form of Stryker retreiving Wolverine from a river in Washington, D.C. Someone please point out an interview where they explain what that was all about, because this sequel sure as hell didn't explain it at all.

• This is my biggest problem with the movie: Magneto felt like the most shoehorned character in the movie. I'm 100% serious. The movie had to go out of its way to introduce his wife and daughter, only to kill them both the next time we see them. It was almost comical the amount of tragedy that Magneto had to endure in this franchise. It really felt like overkill (no pun intended) just to give Magneto yet another reason to raise hell and get damaged even further. His character arc feels utterly ludicrous at this point and it's obvious that they no longer have any idea what to do with him. This really rubbed me the wrong way because of just how excessive and unnecessary it all was. The dude had to watch his mother, wife, and nine year-old daughter get killed right before his eyes all in one lifetime. Just... holy shit. It truly frustrates me because it feels obscene at this point.

• It would've been far, far better if Magneto just helps out Charles and Raven from the get-go. He's found peace and probably spends his free time helping out a mutant here and there when he's not too busy taking care of his family. He goes out of hiding once he finds out his friends were in trouble because the dude has had like ten years to chill out and is raising a family of his own. He helps stop Apocalypse and saves Charles from this Egyptian maniac. Once they succeed, Magneto goes back to his family and bids a friendly goodbye to Charles after fixing his mansion. That, to me, is so much better than heaping even more tragedy in Magneto's life just so we can see him go full out villain before changing his mind again.

Overall it's a fun movie, but it's bogged down with many problems. It's not a bad movie by any means, but it sure isn't a great one either.

I am a wordy bag of shit

How long is the movie because I think I might just watch it instead of reading that

2:24

Holy moly. Say, are you one of the card-counting ones or one of the 'dead-at-26-with-a-swollen-cranium' ones?

I kind of liked it, but I agree with all your cons. Felt like a big jumbled up mess. Plus, didn't Mystique rescue Wolverine at the end of the last movie?? It's like that scene never happened as Logan was dealing with the exact thing she rescued him from last movie(weapon x).

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Does she know she's got the rash yet?

Jack shit

I like to take a shower and then sit in my wet towel with a box of cooking wine, I've usually finished it before I'm completely dry! LOL.

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Post pics of your candied jalapeños and jalapeño jelly and it'll make all of us feel better.

My missus is away and I'm doing these exact things too, except my weed guy has just gone to prison, so I'm without.