Well folks, I'm sure you're aware at this point that Chris Rock and Sherrod Small are cousins. What you probably don't know is there has been a deep-seated dark history between the two. One has been doomed to a life in the shadow of the other. Sherrod's quick wit, honesty and general charisma have gifted him the upper hand in the inter-family competition, and Chris has been left in the proverbial dust. Watching Sherrod demonstrate continued success throughout his life, ranging from credits like having a Wikipedia page to his starring role as "Black Guy Asking for Money" in Christopher Julius Rock the III's "Top Five", has left his cousin Chris looking extremely underwhelming in comparison.

At a recent family gathering in Sherrod's lavish one bedroom bungalow, Chris eagerly asked everyone about their impression of the Oscars. Uninterested, the conversation quickly shifted back to Sherrod and his unparalleled chemistry with fellow comedic legend Kurt Metzger on the hit podcast Race Wars. Feeling depressed, Chris drove back home pondering whether or not he had a future in entertainment.

Chris was starting to feel a bit better. He played a few modest stadiums and his confidence was slowly building. That was, until a fateful day this month. Sherrod was appearing on hit radio sensation, "Opie with Jim Norton", where he engaged in some conversation with a couple of radio legends. During the show, he remarked "That all that's a chill.. and fuckin'em"...... it was immediately labelled the greatest soundbite known to man. People fainted upon hearing it. The joke sent ripples around the world. Chris Rock has not been seen or heard of since, and his family is concerned. Sherrod meanwhile, could not recall having a cousin when questioned about the matter.