Jim Norton, deeply insecure weirdo, explains to Bill Burr why Bill has "gotta get a club soda Kenny"
21 2016-05-21 by beeseesee
for context:
https://youtu.be/gIzdSvImpVk?t=2125
For Jim Norton explaining to Bill Burr that it totally makes sense to have a man travel around with you, on your own dime, to all of your stand up gigs skip ahead 4 minutes:
81 comments
33 Clibanarius 2016-05-21
My favorite thing where Jimmy tries to argue with Bill and gets destroyed is where he defends his irrational hatred of Europe. Bill's been there and tells Jimmy just how much they love American comics, even in places you wouldn't expect (like Iceland, Denmark, Norway, et cetera) and Jimmy just keeps at it.
42 TijnTijn 2016-05-21
Jim likes to stay in his safe space and wonders why his carreer isn't going anywhere.
11 PeteFo 2016-05-21
The mans ad libs are references to his friends, no one cares. You cant call someone "Bob Kelly" because theyre fat, and expect to expand your audience. He pigeon-holed himself into being accountable to a ravenous horde of shitdicks.
2 Mr702law 2016-05-21
A few specials ago he told a BobKelly story and was doing the "ya know what dude" voice. Does he not know that the vast majority of people who go see a stand up are not fan boys? They don't know what the fuck you're doing Jim.
2 MeteorBlitzkieg 2016-05-21
Very true. Evolve or die.
1 Clibanarius 2016-05-21
Agreed.
22 TriangleDimes 2016-05-21
My opinion of Jimmy is such a rollercoaster based on the shit I read on here. I keep giving him points but there's so much inarguable nonsense I forget, like his irrational hatred of Europe. He acts like he's so informed on the subject. YA NOT A FUCKIN SCHOLA.
22 Clibanarius 2016-05-21
His irrational hatred of Europe is based on inaccurate information, too. Yes, European governments and politicians are frequently at odds with the US, especially when Bush was in charge, but the PEOPLE are friendly. Such a ridiculous little faggot, he is.
9 TriangleDimes 2016-05-21
I'm sure countless comedians have had this talk with him but he walks away and Club Soda Kenny just reinforces his belief that France hates all Americans and that somehow makes all of Europe anti-American.
1 AsunaKirito4Ever 2016-05-21
I can't imagine the things Kenny says to Norton that he actually believes. "Don't go to Europe because all Europeans hate us for our freedom, and if you're a cop and even look at a black person meanly you're instantly thrown into jail, and everyone loves all your tranny jokes"
2 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
Since when does Jimmy not like Europe? I don't think ive ever heard this
3 Clibanarius 2016-05-21
Sarcastic or no, here's a link to him being retarded about the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAVa7gAzan0
3 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
I couldn't even get through a few minutes of that.
I thank god I haven't stumbled across this before
1 TheShitHoldingKid 2016-05-21
It's a recurring theme
10 GeMigMat 2016-05-21
The people in Europe who hate America are either far left /communists or muslims. It's not Europeans in general, as Jimmy seems to think. It's the same "blame america first"-Michael Moore fans you have in America
7 frostiitute 2016-05-21
Yeah, I don't know anyone who hates America who aren't edgy leftist teenagers.
2 RickMirer3 2016-05-21
Nobody hates Americans. I say this as a Canadian who has worked in Asia and traveled through Europe and the Middle East. Some people over there hate us foreign policy but most of then do business with America, watch American TV, eat American food, etc. American comics can perform anywhere. Jimmy is a fucking moron.
-1 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
You don't think Nazi's hate America?
6 reallywhowouldcare 2016-05-21
They love our regimented lawncare style
1 GeMigMat 2016-05-21
Real nazis are fairly few, but they do think America is run by jews. Most people labeled as "nazi" however are anti muslim/immigration and don't believe in nazi ideology
-1 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
I wouldn't say this is the case in modern Europe
Perhaps, but many of those " Anti Muslim/Immigration " people blame the migrant crisis on some Jewish conspiracy to cause white genocide. So calling them Nazi's isn't far off.
4 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-21
That doesn't change the fact that Muslim Migration is a disaster.
It's really about cheap labor and increasing the young population to hold up social security. This backfired because they're mostly unemployed and take in more money than they give back.
Also all the rapes are a minus.
1 CelticSabbath 2016-05-21
Rape's the only good part.
-1 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
Well, you know what they say. Don't destroy half the middle-east if you don't want people coming from there.
Some might try to spin it as this, I'd be confident in saying it just comes from lack of competence.
That issue stems from hundreds of thousands of young men walking around with no laws being enforced against them and nothing to do
2 CelticSabbath 2016-05-21
Ima go analogy on this one: Don't punch somebody that hits you in the pub if you don't want him to follow you home.
How ridiculous does that sound? Have you ever had a fight with somebody and expected their wife or kids to come live with you after?
I'm unemployed, young and a man; but, when I don't see any cops around and I'm bored, you know what I don't do: go rape chicks. On top of that, I am not a member of any religion, let alone a religion that has strict moral values that are being violated. I only have my conscience to bother me, I consider rape amoral, not immoral, and still I resist. It's called being human in a civilised society; if you don't wanna engage with it, fuck off back to the sand and die.
1 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
You didn't follow " them " home though, you followed entirely different people home and brutalized them for no reason.
If I live in some land were only 7 houses exist and I burn down the house closest to me they're probably going to come to my house to ask for help.
Because you'd be easily found and arrested.
Civilization doesn't matter much in a lot of situations
0 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-21
So do you disagree with the fact Muslim migration is a disaster? I agree with your first point. If the west left them the fuck alone to be evil cunts in their own backyards there'd be no mass migration, but just because our corrupt leaders fucked up the ME doesn't mean the people of Europe should be exposed to savages.
The issue could also stem from the fact Islam teaches its ok to rape non muslim women. And that middle eastern and Islamic culture is the most chauvinistic in the world.
2 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
No, my point was its a self-caused disaster. It'd be like if a lit my neighbors house on fire and then complained when it spread to me.
It doesn't teach this at all. Anyone with even a basic understanding of Islam can tell you the strategy is to convert your " enemies " with kindness. Nowhere does it ever say (Hey, go rape them Christian women )
Weird, considering the Islamic Republic Of Iran encourages women to achieve important positions in society and become as successful as possible.
0 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-21
The people of Europe didn't fuck up the ME though. It was Corporate and Political interests. In other words the rich people that won't be affected by Islamic immigrants.
I'm sure the Quran has lovely things about butterflies and peace and harmony and koombayah but as all religions do it has a sinister side. https://www.jihadwatch.org/2016/01/female-al-azhar-prof-allah-allows-muslims-to-rape-non-muslim-women
The rape of non Muslim women is absolutely justified. After all he was a warlord rapist/pedophile.
As for what you said about women in Iran I'm astounded by your stupidity. Iran is shitty for women. Now I'm sure it's less shitty than certain areas in the middle east but that's no different than saying "Look, Detroit is lovely. Look at this one suburb in a sea of ghettos." This comparison is flawed however because this cherry picked nation (Iran) looks like Compton looks to Malibu when you compare it for womens rights to the west.
https://www.hrw.org/news/2015/10/28/womens-rights-iran
I suspect however that you are aware of this. You just lie to benefit Islam because your warlord pedophile said it's ok to do so.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taqiya
2 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
People try to make the same argument with the Nazi's, doesn't work well.
Only source I can find for this is Anti-Muslim sites and Christian extremist sites, hardly good sources.
Anyway, reading what these sites provide. It says in the text that those in the armies were being allowed to claim slave girls as their own. That's nothing like you claimed it said.
Well maybe if you view the world as if its only existed for the past 50 years.
False
I'm not even a Muslim, just a guy who accepts fact and doesn't have an irrational hatred of Muslims
1 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-21
Do you think the civilians of Germany should've had to endure an increased fear of rape and crime? That's what you're advocating here.
So you don't like the site because it's critical of Islam? Where else should one find criticism of the doctrine of Islam?
The article explained this but I guess you're relying on others not reading it. Islamic leaders of nations have issued a Jihad on the west. During a Jihad muslims are allowed to rape. Do you not think that people from countries leaving the ME might value the words of their Islamic leader?
Muhammad is said to be the perfect role model for eternity. Islamic beliefs aren't subject to change. They view Muhammad as perfect by all standards.
Not a rebuttal.
I don't know many non muslims with friends openly pro Hamas and Hezbollah
http://m.imgur.com/JaFPMwJ
Another example of taqqiyah perhaps?
https://np.reddit.com/r/khalifa/comments/4jnxqh/i_take_it_she_hasnt_done_anything_new/
Lol OP even has a thing for Muslim pornstar Mia Khalifa
Why would someone from America so frequently post in r/russia
https://np.reddit.com/r/russia/comments/4jo6cc/risk_isnt_going_to_be_banned_in_ukraine_anytime/
http://m.imgur.com/1pzcigX
Russia has a huge amount of Muslims. I think Moscow is about 10%
2 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
99% of people don't have to fear it.
There's a different between being critical and anti. For example, the KKK isn't critical of Africans
No Islamic country has issued a Jihad against the west, Muslims are not allowed to rape random people during Jihad.
He was certainly a successful individual
Considering he's an ethnic German from Austria, I don't see what point you're trying to make.
She's certainly not a Muslim.
Family reasons
Russia is an Orthodox Christian country, less than 10% are Muslims. Only place you can find Muslims is the Caucasus and Tatarstan
2 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
I love triggering Nazi's, nothing better
1 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-21
I'm a Puerto Rican.
2 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
Implying a Puerto Rican can't be a Nazi
0 GeMigMat 2016-05-21
what country are you from?
2 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
U.S
2 GeMigMat 2016-05-21
Ok. Sweden has a jewish population of only 20,000 so it's a matter that only interests fringe loons. The anti immigration party here is the most pro Israel/jewish party in the country. The real nazis hate jews so much they support anti-jewish muslims
1 ChipChipperson2 2016-05-21
Because Jews are nationalistic in nature. They probably admire them.
Yeah, I have a friend who supports Hamas and Hezbollah but never stops going on about how he hates filthy uncivilized Arab savages.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-21
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4 grocery_man 2016-05-21
Jimmy would do well in the UK. But he think everyone hates american's.
1 loabaron 2016-05-21
people like to mock the dumbest aspects america, that doesnt mean they hate them. Its fucking unbelievable to me that a man who makes his living from poking fun at things cant tell the difference.
4 Tom_Stall 2016-05-21
The thing is some people will give shit to Americans, just for the sake of talking shit, if it ever happens to Burr (or Stanhope) he gives it right back and everyone laughs because it's not a hatred for America it's just bustin balls and maybe a slight insecurity in some parts.
Louis CKs ex-victim was on Conan talking about a gig she had in Dublin. When the MC announced she was from America some fuckin drunk students started booing, she took this as they hate Americans when in reality they probably don't care and just thought that was funny. Then she started talking about how she just got divorced and some woman in the crowd said "Ya should have made it work", which is actually pretty fuckin funny, but she took it as some hyper-Catholic lady being against divorce. Catholicism in Ireland is not as strong as many people think, it was just a fuckin joke.
If Jimmy got heckled he wouldn't be able to handle it and just say they hate Americans.
1 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-21
I've lived in Ireland briefly and out of all the countries I've been to they liked America the most. Those students were definitely joking. Also you're right. I don't think I met a single person that I considered Pious. In fact some people wanted to know about Evangelicals in the Bible belt and they thought America was crazy religious.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-21
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1 [deleted] 2016-05-21
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1 TotallyNotObsi 2016-05-21
Of course they do. We supported the IRA.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-21
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2 NihilistKnight 2016-05-21
The Scandinavian countries are ridiculously bilingual, so he probably would do well over there, but you know, God forbid Norton expand his horizons a little bit. Stanhope actually recorded one of his more recent albums in Oslo, Norway and tours Europe pretty frequently. Also, if I remember correctly Billy also talked about trying to learn Spanish on that same show and Norton, Tits, and Anthony trashed him for it.
2 Kurt_Love 2016-05-21
He also announced he hates Americans once because of some shit about censorship. Every American is a baby. Then Colin made him look like the faggot idiot he is for saying it.
1 Clibanarius 2016-05-21
hahaha, nice. I fucking love Col and everything he says, it's incredible. He's so great at tearing down dipshits like Jimmy without even trying.
1 stinkskc 2016-05-21
I love that his tour seems to be failing right now. Especially after how mean he was to that Indian dude
1 aaron91325 2016-05-21
His LA show is in 5 days and you can still buy tickets on his website. Embarrassing.
https://tickets.axs.com/eventShopperV2.html?wr=a9d3b58f-7aa2-4ef5-a888-1fd1cb06cca2&preFill=1&lang=en&locale=en_us&eventid=301606&ec=CBN160526&src=AEGAXS1_WMAIN&skin=axs_novo&fbShareURL=www.axs.com%2Fevents%2F301606%2Fjim-norton-mouthful-of-shame-tour-tickets%3F%26ref%3Devs_fb
1 Mr702law 2016-05-21
Just checked his Vegas show next week. Plenty of good tickets left.
1 WiretapStudios 2016-05-21
Jim is not big enough to pack a theater on a regular basis. I highly doubt that thing gets more than 30% full, including comps.
1 aaron91325 2016-05-21
I'm guessing that it doesn't help that his show is on a Thursday in an area that is over-saturated with mid-level comedy acts.
I saw him up in SF back in the height of the show's XM popularity around 2005 and he could definitely fill up Cobb's (400 seat venue) twice on a Saturday.
It's kind of sad that his career has made zero increase in national impact over the past 12 years.
1 aidspiss 2016-05-21
THHHickets available!
22 3noir 2016-05-21
Bill doesn't seem like a dude that needs advice from a worm.
16 yzyman 2016-05-21
He has one, it's his Zulu wife.
7 Aemon12 2016-05-21
You are an ignoramus. His wife is West African.
-7 aidspiss 2016-05-21
His wife is a nigger.
3 Michaelonamug 2016-05-21
We all knew it would go there eventually.
0 aidspiss 2016-05-21
Y'all mad niggerish.
9 Flamgirlant 2016-05-21
Jim:
We all know how insufferable Jim would've been if this happened to him.
24 beeseesee 2016-05-21
Burr, who is infinitely more successful, has infinintely better representation and infintiely better prospects than Jim will ever dream of having, travels alone across the county and when travel plans go wrong, kills a few hours at the waffle house and calls up O+J and MAKES JOKES.
In the same scenario, you know Jim Norton, failed comedian on a last-gasp money-collecting tour, would be going fucking insane-- screaming at people at hotels and airlines and comedy clubs and tweeting about how airlines haven't accommodated his very unique problems.
Why?
Lets say it together?
Cause he is actually the pathetic self entitled baby boy that he has always yelled into a microphone about.
7 JMueller2012 2016-05-21
You nailed what I love about Burr and why he deserves his success and how he is so much more professional and better than Jim on every level
1 WiretapStudios 2016-05-21
aka Travel Diva
7 Xx9mmParabellumxX 2016-05-21
So Burr needs a giant autistic Jew?
3 Dwman113 2016-05-21
I tried to listen. But I made it through like 20 seconds and lost complete interest.
3 Mr702law 2016-05-21
Yeah, you need a Kenny to book your flight cause he never fucks it up. How hard is it to book a weekly flight and hotel??
3 Mr702law 2016-05-21
Next he will be telling Burr he needs to use his animation people for next seasons F is for Family. Ftw.
3 shaqfan99 2016-05-21
Burr's podcast makes it clear that he's wired to take in a lot of the world alone and he is brilliant at it.
Him having a Kenny would completely upend the way he experiences things.
To see what I mean, just watch the YouTube tours of cities that he gives.
2 DryTeeth 2016-05-21
What an awkward show....
2 tha_dank 2016-05-21
I skipped ahead to 4:00 and all they're talking about is taking dumps in new toilets....what's the timestamp you're looking at here?
2 beeseesee 2016-05-21
sorry, fixed it
2 dopef123 2016-05-21
By far the most annoying part of Jimmy is his 'recovery'. I was a hardcore heroin addict and have the scars to prove it. I talk about recovery about 1/50th as much as him. It sounds like he just drank too much for like a year. Shut the fuck up about 'recovery' and move on with your life.
He's the kind of person who goes to those meetings for attention. There's a certain cultishness to the whole thing that Jimmy lives for. There's nothing more annoying than having to listen to some girl who took Vicodin a few times ceaselessly talking about her recovery at those fucking meetings. Most irritating self obsessed people.
Nothing about recovery is remotely interesting and entertaining. you just have to stop taking drugs. That's all the whole thing revolves around. Instead of taking that drug you like don't do it. Cured.
1 shinkleboutit 2016-05-21
Man he had a serious problem your sounds like a cake walk compared to ol jimmy
1 MeteorBlitzkieg 2016-05-21
Not only did he drink too much for a year, but he was in his teens. Who doesn't do stupid shit when they're in their teens? It's about growing up and he learned what he was like when he was drunk, and it's sad that he still uses that as some kind of matter of pride as a middle-aged man. The real issue is that Jimmy thinks he needs to have suffered as cred among his peers because he had a fairly decent white bread life: he had a family that supported him and still does more or less, he didn't do anything that drastic that ruined his life, et cetera. But to hear him talk about it, it was nothing but molestation and booze and finally coming around after a nightmare. It's just pathetic.
1 TakesTheWrongSideGuy 2016-05-21
I look at it like this I don't drink. When I did I would do stupid stuff just like Jimmy, but unlike Jim I would never call myself an addict. I was never addicted to alcohol. I used to like to drink but I wasn't good at it and so I stopped. Jim like me never had a chemical dependence which is what addiction is. I think he confuses being an idiot and addiction. Addiction can cause you to do stupid stuff but I don't think the two necessarily go hand in hand and there's a big difference between being a stupid teen who wasn't responsible enough yet for alcohol, and someone who wakes up shaking.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-21
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1 McGowan9 2016-05-21
Or this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu_AJS-ka2w where Jimmy sounds like a defensive zero. Burr, rightly, mocks the scared, non risk taking baby boy.
-7 HookerMouth82 2016-05-21
There's literally nothing wrong with having a road manager.
13 beeseesee 2016-05-21
who are the equivalents to Norton that have road managers?
2 HookerMouth82 2016-05-21
I don't know, but here's an interesting article written by one.
http://splitsider.com/2014/07/five-years-a-comedians-assistant-what-its-like-working-for-the-most-neurotic-bosses-around/
2 GRIZx 2016-05-21
I really wish she told what comedians she worked for.
2 SlappyJiggler 2016-05-21
There's plenty wrong with having a road manager when you're only pulling down $14k a year.
22 Clibanarius 2016-05-21
His irrational hatred of Europe is based on inaccurate information, too. Yes, European governments and politicians are frequently at odds with the US, especially when Bush was in charge, but the PEOPLE are friendly. Such a ridiculous little faggot, he is.
1 Clibanarius 2016-05-21
hahaha, nice. I fucking love Col and everything he says, it's incredible. He's so great at tearing down dipshits like Jimmy without even trying.
1 TheShitHoldingKid 2016-05-21
It's a recurring theme
1 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-21
I'm a Puerto Rican.