Lisa Lapenelli: Bitch who fired me back in like 2008 during one of my first paid gigs at a club. Said I looked like a "sand nigger" to which I replied "Coming from the Queen of Mean that's a really big compliment."
She replied back "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
"Queen of Mean, that's your nickname. I mean your website is www.queenofmean.com or something right?"
She replied back: "I will take that from someone like Dave Attell but I won't take that from some pissed on open mic'er in (my city name). Get the fuck out of here you're fired."
Had me physically taken out of the comedy club. Embarrassing. I almost quit comedy.
Ralphie May: Unfunny prick. Actually had a fax come in from a movie studio to the club we worked at together. It was a pitch and I shit you not for him to star in a direct to DVD Uncle Buck sequel.
Vos & Bonnie: Great people. Vos found out I had family in the audience one of the shows and roasted me for most of his set. Then was classy and picked up my family's bill.
Hedberg: Can't say enough nice things. But man.....he loved drugs. Did blow in his hotel room with him and his wife, they kept disappearing to the bathroom to smoke H.
Bob Levy: Again, takes a lot of shit but is a great guy and really takes care of other comics.
Florentine: See the Levy comment. And I find him funny.
Tommy Davidson & Pauly Shore: Freebase/Crack smokers who are total dicks.
Aries Spears: Wants a white opener so he can treat them like shit all weekend. Happened to me. A lot of the "urban" acts are like this.
Chappelle: Awesome. Did one show. Super cool. This was right after he left Comedy Central.
Tracy Morgan: He was a mess. This was when he was heavily drinking and doing who knows what else (never saw him do anything else but you don't act like that on just booze). Got kicked out of the bar and took a girl back to the hotel who probably should've had her ID checked. He was also raving how much he loved his wife prior to this.
Attell: Great guy, but is the most miserable person I have ever met.
She replied back: "I will take that from someone like Dave Attell but I won't take that from some pissed on open mic'er in (my city name). Get the fuck out of here you're fired."
For an industry of people that dress either like off-the-clock dishwashers or failed rockstars, I find comedians get really uppity when people don't respect the rigid class system they've all invented in their twisted, sticky minds.
Despite the shit he gets on here, Florentine does come across as a nice guy and I also find him funny - when Opie's not tearing the ass out of his "that's not ok for a guy to do" schtick. Come to think of it, has Florentine been on O&J since Opie mocked his messy divorce?
Glad to hear that Stanhope is as cool as I hoped he is.
I met Florentine a couple times and he's cool as hell. Super nice guy. First time I ever got to talk to him was at Melrose Improv, we both went to the front bar (when it was still open) at the same time to get a drink, and Aziz Ansari was on stage. I said "Thank god you're here, because it's comedians like this that I cannot fucking stand." Then we just went off on "happy, fun" comedy for like 5 minutes, it made me so happy. I live for my miserable east coast comics that come to shit on sunny LA.
Ive never seen Norton be a dick, the only thing I can say is if you want to say hi/get a pic with him after the show, you have about a 30 second window to have his attention because all he does is scan the room for women/victims. I can't say I blame him and I know he's a sex addict & shit, but it's still not the most endearing trait.
I can attest to the Norton picture thing. Went to two of his shows, first time my wife got his attention to get a pic and he only stopped because she had an open shirt. When he realized he had to take a pic with me the shit eating look he makes in the pic is reminiscent of the face he makes when doing uncle Paul.
Second time I saw him in Tampa while on a business trip. The walking personality Kenny was asked to take the pic. I'm about Kennys size and when he couldn't get the pic to take on my phone , told me to move on and figure it out and jimmy brushed me off was when I started to turn. It was pushing the one button visible on the phone. Fucking lummox. For all the karate Kenny "knows" he looks like he's one solid shot to anywhere chest down on him from eating a mouthful of concrete.
Jimmy has no connection with his fans anymore and is a shit heel. Lose more respect for him the more I read.
I don't mind Louie's or Bill Murray's stance on taking pics, but obsessed with pics Norton should entertain fans after shows for a picture. The most hypocritical thing Norton ever said was how he turned on Jeter for ignoring his picture request over some hot chicks attention. Lack of self awareness cunt.
Nope. Again, the comedy circuit is surprisingly kinda small believe it or not. I have no agent. I seriously would be burning lots of bridges if I said who I was. Plus I don't owe anyone anything in here. Believe me or not. I don't care to be honest. Reddit ain't paying my bills or getting me laid. This place isn't my life. I look at it to laugh. Some of you are really funny.
I was calling /u/tormenta263 a liar for saying he had an internship at O&J not you. You're either telling the truth, which I'm inclined to believe, or a good enough liar that you could make this interesting enough so either way you're not bothering me. I would like to ask one legitimate question of you though. Assuming you're a feature and you most likely do a solid 20 every time, how often do you change it and how long did it take to work out completely?
Not a liar, I was there from Jan till may last year and did a small ama here a few months ago which I have since deleted since they read this sub constantly.
"I had a picture of my sexy girlfriend from Canada but it got destroyed when my mansion burned down and then she died in a car accident" when in reality it's "my blow up doll floated away in a flood."
Florentine is great. Just a really nice guy who like Levy does a lot to help other comics. And I find him hilarious. Those Meet The Creeps DVDs are really funny.
I tweeted this to the people you mentioned. Aries Spears responded "suck a dick" then deleted the tweet and blocked me. Talk about shooting the messenger, am I right gang?
Also took the wait staff out for drinks after one of his shows & ditched out on the bill so they all ended up paying for theirs and his. He's a fucking asshole.
I met Dave Atell at a dive bar I was bouncing at in Midtown about 10 years ago. I made a comment about Hedberg's death that in retrospect was a bit insensitive. He was very cool. Pretty mellow and quiet and bordered on glum.
Coming from the Queen of Mean that's a really big compliment.
Honestly that's really shitty. If you were a janitor, then it would have been wrong for her to fire you, but you were supposed to be a comic.
She did not wake up in the afternoon and manage to not have an eye gougued out while traversing a sea of black cock just to find out that somebody associated with her show has weak milqtoast banter.
I don't care how nice Florentine is IRL, I will not be condescended by a 75 year old man who listens to Slipknot.
That said, I hope somehow this thread is brought to the attention of worm faggot & we get to hear him defensively, yet sanctimoniously try to weasel out of it.
"That said, I hope somehow this thread is brought to the attention of worm faggot & we get to hear him defensively, yet sanctimoniously try to weasel out of it."
My thoughts exactly. Maybe a twitter forward to him?
There's a clip of Rogan and Jim Jeffries taking about "a really funny comic" who has shitty openers to make him look better. While this could be a general thing it seems like by the reaction Jeffries gives that they're talking about a mutual acquaintance
Does he still have DeRosa open for him? Makes sense considering their relative careers but it's gotta be pretty degrading to open for the same guy for over a decade
" omg she's sooooo funny, really funny man. Like most people say female comics aren't that funny but she realllly is man. I know comedy I'm not a civilian"
desperately hope this will get her to touch my tiny shriveled old flaccid trouser worm
Was it that blonde chick? I saw her in September when she opened for jim and she was beyond awful, her closer was something about vagina scented car fresheners.
I've met quite a few comics - Burr, Stanhope, even Seinfeld once in Atlantic City. And while they were all nice, Norton was without a doubt the nicest.
I was in MSP a few summers ago and was flying back to LAX on the last flight of the day. (I think it was around 9pm which puts you into LA late, like 11ish - so you're in for a long evening). We had a mechanical, and there was some little TGIFs or some shitty chain was right next to our gate. I plopped down to have a few drinks and the guy next to me (not drinking, of course) is on a call, really upset trying to figure out how to switch his flight. I recognized the voice and it was him.
Like the loser I am, I pulled out my phone, pulled up one of O&A's podcasts, and set it down on the table. Kinda transparent, and he probably knew it and looked over. I made some lame joke about him not making it back in time for the show the next day, and he acknowledged it and brushed it off. I asked for a picture and he said, "yeah, but let's try not to make a scene." Which is funny, because I don't think a single other person there knew who he was, nor would they have given a shit. Unfortunately he got a call right as I was getting my camera ready, but luckily during the flight I ran into him in the galley when we both got up to stretch our legs. He remembered me and immediately dropped down and started sucking my fawkin peckah so good I shot fawkin cum all over his bald head.
Got a picture of it, and he said if I sent it to him he'd autograph it and send it back and he never did. So I guess he really is an asshole.
Damn, as much as I hate defensive Jim I've never really jumped on the Norton hate train, but I can definitely see this and its pretty fuckin hateable. The two comics that Ive seen that hung around after the show were Jimmy and Stanhope. Stanhope = everything you could want. He hangs out, smokes in the green room, has a beer cracked open, talks to fans in a circle as if their all equal, except the attention is generally turned more toward him. Jimmy = just business as usual. People line up to take a picture and every person he puts on that awful smile, "Great!" "Yeah!" "I'd love to" "Ok!" and is otherwise extremely dismissive and Kenny moves them right along and tries to get you to buy merch. Like you said, not offended, he doesnt owe me anything and I have no reason to expect anything, but I saw Norton first and thought it was awesome he took the time to meet the fans after the show, but it was so fake and dismissive he might as well have just not done it.
I've had the same experience with Stanhope, he's super cool with the fans. Doesn't act like he needs to be seperated from the crowd, will drink and hang out with the people who come to see him. You don't get the vibe from him that he thinks his craft puts him above the people who pay to see it.
I've never met Stanhope but he doesn't seem like he has a celebrity aura around him. Patrice didn't seem to have it either. I wonder if it's their philosophical style of stand-up and their long form ideas that don't set up for a single punchline.
On a recent episode of his podcast he talked about how every now and then fans will come to his house, cause its out there from the Super Bowl parties, and as long as they seem normal and its during the daytime he'll invite them in for one drink and then they have to go.
Club Soda Kenny is probably the person I hate the most in the O&A universe. Every story about him, every time he's on the air, every picture of him, I would just love for him to be gored by a bull (Spain style or Cuckold style, I don't give a hey.)
I've seen Stanhope a bunch of times in different cities and he's always great. The first time I saw him at One Eyed Jack's in New Orleans, he was walking around in the front bar and when our paths crossed, I told him that I had "so much fun in there." He looked my in the eye with genuine gratitude and excitement and gave me a heartfelt "Thanks, man! Me too."
And I could tell he really meant it and was just so happy that everyone had a good time.
I've talked to him briefly after other shows too and it's always the same. He's just a really good guy.
Edit: Oh shit. I forgot where I was for a minute... You're all a bunch of cunts and everything you like sucks.
Last time I saw him, he wound up doing extra time because he got one of his openers too fucked up in the green room and she flaked. He was cracking up about the situation the entire time. His shows are a fucking blast.
Of all the comics in the world who SHOULD NOT be like that it's Norton. His stuff is tired and hack to put it nicely and you can tell whenever he talks shop with other comments (Maron comes to mind) he speaks as if he's their equal or on the same level as them. You can just tell they just don't find his shit to be all that funny but they will still throw him the occasional "I heard you killed the other night" to pump him up. These guys are tight with him because back in the day the show gave them a platform. How else would these guys have gotten an audience of a few million a few times a month to listen to them. At this point the guys that blew up have maintained the relationship so they don't come off as phony. If Norton never gets the gig on O&A you can cut his list of comedy "friends" in half.
I was never really a big fan of Norton's stand up but all the comics on the show normally give him a lot of respect so I don't know what you're talking about there. I saw him at the cellar a few months ago though and he killed with a bunch of Catelyn Jenner jokes.
I'm sure they do on some level. For a guy with limited ability he was able to take it pretty far but you can't tell me that Burr would have the same amount of "respect" for Norton than he does say Louie... Or Louie respects Norton as much as he did Patrice I could do that with almost any combination of comedians that were on the show and Norton comes up short. I guess my point is for the quality of comedians he rubs shoulders with youd expect him to be right up there with them in terms of ability and in my opinion he isn't.
Well your only examples are three of the most respected people in comedy. I think he gets the amount of respect he deserves from the other comedians. Normand, Distefano, Soder, and the other lesser known comedians definitely seem to look up to and respect him. He's not on the same level as Burr or Louie but definitely gets more respect than Vos or Florentine. His specials aren't very good IMO, but saying he has "limited ability" is cutting him a little short with all the garbage comics there are out there.
I don't think Burr or CK have as much respect for his shit as they do Vos'... Florentine is about right. Anyone at florentine's level and under is about right but that's my point though. He's a much bigger name than those guys. You would think the difference in talent would be just as big.
I watched his last special with my chick, and within 15 minutes she asked "Is that all really he talks about is fucking"? But it's not. At least once a special, he'll shoe-horn in a story about the radio show.
Yep, /u/therealjimnorton was given an opportunity to chime in on this thread and obviously had nothing to say. OP must be speaking the truth. Case closed.
What do you expect? Little jimmy is insecure as fuck. Why do you think he has a bodyguard with him at every gig?
Deep down inside he knows the only reason why other comics give him the time of day is because he's associated with and can get them on O&A / O&J. His pure talent as a comic sucks.
The fucking guy never or barely graduated from high school, didn't move out of his parents place till his thirties, can't get laid without paying, his "addiction" is cry baby teenage bullshit. He has a lot to be insecure about.
I wouldn't take it personally. Jim was probably just worried that you might crack a joke or 2 in the green room and that would influence his act. He is very careful about that sort of thing, ya know.
I believe you. I just imagine that, you have to keep at it. And keep in mind Norton's genius is only on radio. I don't look up his standup on youtube whatsoever, he's worthless there. Perhaps you will do better than him when you do your comedy. And you probably suck now, git gud faggot.
Jimmy is a fucking edgelord that thought he was going to revolutionize the comedy world with his stuff only to find out that when you get into the big leagues there has to be some substance behind the "shock". There's nothing about Nortons stand up that makes you think "I wanna see him again...". He's a one trick pony and even then the one trick he knows has been done better by other people. The fact that he's cool with some of the biggest names in the business somehow for him thinking he's in the same league as them so he's never thought to change his shitck, he figures "if it ain't broken...". Thing is it IS broken, it's always been broken, when it comes to standup. He was the bridge for O&A to get some of the best comics on the air and vice versa for the comedians... THATS HIS THING... And he's actually good at radio too ill give him that. But to hear that he's on the road acting like he's above people doesn't surprise me in the slightest bit. Most of the people opening for him were probably way funnier than him too.
I paid for my brother and I to see Norton once and it was awful. The only time we laughed was during a few off th the cuff remarks he made about club soda kenny. Otherwise his entire act is regurgitated from the radio show.
This is what I notice from his specials. Now, I've heard the birth of bits by Patrice and Louis from when they were on the radio but Norton took it way too far, literally bringing up the show at some point. Yeah that's how you expand your audience and try to hit it big with a t.v. special, by telling inside jokes. Fucking retard.
Artie is great. Very limited interaction with him. Never worked with him on a show tho. Just came to one of his shows cause a friend was opening. Just a warm, friendly guy.
When the show was at it's peak, Norton was carrying it with laughs. He was fucking perfect on the radio. Artie is the only other person on the planet that was comparable.
Ehhh. I agree that his standup can be lackluster and his characters are god awful, but he has an amazingly quick wit. I find him to be of above average intelligence.
"I don't know man, I mean if i've had a bad night or a bad set I might have come across like a bit of a dick but I honestly don't remember. Whats the guys name? He didn't say? Oh so he hates me enough to trash me but he doesn't even have the fuckin balls to use his name? Its always the same shit, these ssssssssssscumbags on the internet who hide behind their little usernames. Why?! Use your real name you fuckin coward! Y'know I actually thought about apologising. Swear to god, I was gonna find out this guy's name and then apologise the next time I see him but now I know he's just another one of these fuckin ssssssssscumbags who hides behind a fake name online so fuck him."
"Fawkin brutal, now lets go to Chuck in South Carolina, CHUCK?"
Nah. Don't have one. I am a fan of this Reddit so I thought I would finally post something. All true and no I won't say who I am but you wouldn't know me anyway. I manly MC and feature in the Midwest.
I was flying out of Vegas about 10 years ago and he was in the Airport VIP lounge place waiting for his flight which happened to be the same flight I was on, coming back to Newark NJ.
Being a "fan" I observed him and he is a very "odd" person with his mannerisms and stature in general. He really looks like a prematurely angry aged child. He's very small in height and over all stature (mind you I'm 6'4 300lbs).
Although he had a small entourage with him in the airport he was either traveling alone, or just sitting in first class alone. (he was two rows in front of me) He brought a lap top and watched movies for the majority of the flight, one of which while not being a true porn, was like one of those soft porn after 12am HBO movies. Certainly enough gratuitous sex which I found pretty funny he would watch on a lap top with everyone else like me snooping.
I was torn on asking him for an autograph or picture, after awhile I just didn't get a good "vibe" from him and decided to pass. I can totally get what you are talking about.
I haven't listened to the show since they were still on FM radio, at that time Jim had a much smaller role than I think he does now. I really didn't have much of an opinion of him and have no axe to grind with the guy, but yeah "creep" pretty much sums it up.
I'm not a listener of the show so I had to google who that was. Here is my honest assessment of the fight, at first I laughed and thought I would kick this douches ass. Then I had a closer look and on second thought I might have a problem.
He's a bit cross eyed, I have issues with that, I'd be looking at the left eye, thinking he doesn't see my left jab, when his right eye has the jab clearly in its focus. Advantage Kenny.
Next the freak doesn't have a chin to punch! I would have to get a clean shot to the temple to knock him out. His cranium looks to be a little "thick" so I might break a knuckle trying. Advantage Kenny.
I would gladly take your money for the fight, just not sure I'll give you your money's worth. Hey at least I'm honest!
I use to listen when they were still on FM radio, so I use to be a fan. This thread was on one of my followed pages, I probably started following it when I was trying to figure out what exactly happened to Anthony.
I remember reading he was suspended after a Twitter meltdown on a minority woman for taking his picture or something. What exactly happened with him? Is he back on the show?
I'm surprised the guy who viciously scorns and belittles a mentally retarded person on a large media platform isn't more friendly and accepting of people.
It seems Norton may be too "vicious" for your sensitive ears. You should probably keep within the boundaries of your Safe Space to avoid further "Scorn"
I'm an open mic'er and I heard the stories too. Then I saw it in person. Maybe I offended Jim in some way? Ant was there and for all the abuse we give him that he deserves: cool fucking guy(pre-rehab and during Dani). We went back and forth on show vernacular, literally cracking each other up, and he gave me his rarely-used email for Apple hook-ups (I worked at the Apple store at the time). Jim was in ear shot and didn't acknowledge us; just hovered over his camera after the show. When you see him live: you're not allowed to use your camera/phone to take pics: You have to use HIS DISPOSABLE camera, that only Kenny is allowed to touch and use. Weird. I tried to say good show and he gave me a "yeah yeah" response. Fucking miserable prick.
Jim is good at acting like a decent guy but you see glimpses of his true shittiness as a human if you pay attention. Opie isn't perfect but at least he has the balls to criticize celebrities and has some principles. Jim is a backstabbing piece of shit.
From a fans prospective, Norton stays until everyone gets a pic and autograph after every show and is nice as pie about it. Worst comic I've ever talked to before or after a show was Patrice. Guy totally shit on his fans.
I met Patrice once in 2005 at the Opie and Anthony Halloween broadcast. We were by one of the bars and I told him I was a fan of his standup and liked his set on Conan. He nodded and turned his attention to his girlfriend and started talking to the bartender. A few seconds later he turned around and offered to buy me a drink.
Yeah but that was Patrices thing and you expected it from him. Norton is just fake as shit. He gets pissed when Derek Jeter blows him off but he does the same thing.
The time I'm talking about was before a show where he was supposed to interact with fans. It was a meet and greet. Guy couldn't have been more of a dick.
I believe you but I'm surprised. It's well known he hated the industry and the "system" but he DEFINITELY deserved to have little success if he was a dick to his fans.
The "system" is a collection of people trying to make money by entertaining people. You can argue that creates a bad psychological stimulus, that it's insular, phony, that the audience is stupid, or whatever, but 9/10s of that is sour grapes or just human behavior. They're regular people, the execs and the audiences, and we like to here, "Have a nice day.", you fucking prick, even if you don't mean it. Especially if you don't.
I've met Patrice both as a fan after a show and back stage for a corporate event. He busted my balls both times, but I thought he was doing it in humorous fashion. Are you a bit of sensitive fella? Because everything I've heard about him is that he treated everyone kind of like he treated me.
I believe this 100%. Norton is very protective of his mild celebrity and fame and gets intimidated by male comic openers who might out alpha dog him. But he is totally at ease with harmless, unfunny holes like JCarm or Kelsey Cook.
It honestly doesn't sound like he does it on purpose.
I think it's part of that disconnection from people that he was talking to Maron about on his latest podcast. He talks about all of his borderline autistic interactions with people and he's discussed it in the past. He just sounds normal on the radio because he's hanging with his friends. A lot of people are like that. Even Stanhope says he's like that when he's not drinking.
It is odd that he doesn't make any attempt to build rapport though. But again, he's a fucking weirdo. I don't think he'd be rude or mean to an opener on purpose.
unless you're a mongoloid. can't find the video but there was one time he made fun of this super ugly fangirl who approached him on the street after they met and had to backpedal when she posted in the comments
Looks like the account has been deleted. Thankfully, I had it up while reading...
Worked with Norton twice. Actually was a fan of his and the show for quite a long time. The first time I worked with him I was actually suggested by a mutual friend of his (another comic I work with a lot) that I should open.
He was a total dismissive asshole to me. This was with him knowing that I was close friends with a close friend of his. Barely would introduce himself to me, seemed pissed he even had to talk to me, just a weird fucking dude. Kenny was even weirder. Kicked me out of the green room while Jim was onstage and I was eating my comped meal. The show was sold out. I actually had to stand in the hallway to eat my dinner while all the servers moved around me like "Why won't the prima donna let the MC eat in the green room?" Only other time I was not allowed in the green room was when I opened for Aries Spears. Chappelle, Hedburg, Attell, several others always had their openers in the green room hanging out.
Second time opening for Jim was even worse. Slammed doors in my face, got my name wrong, did the phony "He was really funny..." shit when I know he didn't watch one second of my act. Not offended, they probably get every local opener asking for a advice. I just don't like his phoniness.
Him and Kenny actually talked to me this time but only to ask me advice for a diner to eat at. The ones I suggested didn't seem to be good enough. This isn't NYC with plenty of dining options, you are in the Midwest.
Other people from the show have been awesome. Vos, Florentine, and a few others.....class acts. Norton....fucking insecure asshole who lost a fan. I actually turned down opening for him the last time he came thru here and I desperately need gigs and money.
Bob Levy catches a lot of shit but that guy is great to other comics.
He deleted it because he got called on his shit for being the MC nobody wants to work with: the little starfucker who can't keep his mouth shut about what happens backstage.
I wouldn't have gotten paid, I said I usually don't turn down work and needed the money but I didn't want to work with Norton again. I was a huge fan until I actually met him.
I've seen him a few times and he's always been really great with the fans after shows. One time, he owed me something like $4 change for merch and he didn't have any singles. He told me to wait while he got some, but the line behind me was huge, which I mentioned and said don't worry about it. He seemed really gracious and told me to take anything I wanted off the table to make up the difference. Really cool guy.
If it makes you feel better, Jim will eventually paint his upscale Manhattan apartment with his own brain matter. If we're lucky, he'll leave behind a suicide poem.
People have been saying it for years. Quinn wasn't joking when he called Norton a phony all the time. Because that's what he is. He's a complete phony. Addicts lie and all Jim cares about is what can get him some more sloppy puss.
Tommy has apparently cleaned his act up. This was awhile ago. Very cracked out & paranoid acting. Flew out this crackhead looking white chick out to hang with him all weekend.
Pauly got kicked out of a bar for trying to smoke crack in it. Just loves coke in any form. Also barely did a half hour and the other 10-15 minutes was him hawking merch & $20 Polaroids with him. In between 1st and 2nd Friday night shows he pulled club security guys aside and yelled at them to get people thru the "fucking line quicker" because he didn't want to "chat with them." Just a dick.
Pablo Francisco is the biggest coke friend. Dude has a guy who shows up in the city with him he's performing in & this dude's job is to strictly find cocaine for Pablo.
In his first book, he talked about closing doors in the faces of comedians who did Tough Crowd who weren't that famous. He said he wanted to do it to Jon Stewart, but backed out. He was a dick to JV & Elvis.
How many comics of Norton's stature have a bodyguard? I watched him once in a theater in Falls Church.
Can you imagine the hundreds of thousands he's thrown away to pay Kenny? What a fucking pussy.
Artie Lange never has never mentioned having a bodyguard and he would tens of thousands on NFL games. And Artie probably got 2 or 3 times what Norton got per ticket. Artie was addicted to heroin, threw money at bookies gambling, and never needed protection.
Nope. Word travels fast. I don't want the bookings I get to be affected. Sorry, a lot of you act like you know the business workings of comedy and you don't know shit.
I met Vos at Goodnights in Raleigh, bought a CD and had him sign it. He couldn't have been cooler.
I saw Norton at the DC Improv a few years ago and when I bought his book Kenny was cool and said "Jim will sign it", without looking up, Jim took it, signed it and handed it back. Wasn't a dick but seemed a little annoyed in general. He and Vos both did very well though.
Just saw Dipaolo at the Arlington Draft House a few weeks back. FWIW He was great.
No offense, but the business workings of comedy aren't exactly complicated. It's basically highschool pt 2. Cliquish, riddled with insecurity, and petty. Say something bad about a comedian and his little buddies shun you. I think most everyone understands u wanting to remain anonymous. It's just easier to shit stir if your name is known
Not to worry, he posted enough info for Jimmy to figure out who he is if he gets his panties in a twist and wants to take out his anger on a nobody comedian.
Don't act as though what you do is so mysterious and regular people wouldn't understand. You felt you were funny enough to make people laugh and decided to take a chance and get up on a stage and try and do it for a living. Lots of funny people in the world and it doesn't take a college degree to figure out what is funny and what isn't. I know a lot of people on a daily basis who make me laugh harder than any so called professional comedian ever has. You tell jokes, you aren't a doctor or a physicist.
And a lot of people here understand business and business relationships and how they work. I understand not putting your name up. Based on everything we've all seen, Jimmy is an entitled prick and would probably use whatever influence he has to get some club owners to ban you and other comics not to hire you to MC for them or open for them. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
But smart guy that you are, I hope you understand that you have put up enough info for Jimmy to figure out who you are if he is so inclined. You mentioned Kenny kicking you out of the green room, a small detail but Kenny was a cop so he probably has a good memory for details and also seems to be somewhat autistic so he can probably remember that incident and remember who you are. Not to mention your Lisa Lampanelli story and the fact that she had you fired and thrown out of the club. Ralphie May getting a fax about a specific movie and Vos roasting you because your family was in the audience and then he picked up their bill. All small details but when added up they can be traced back to you if Jimmy decided to call all of those folks and do a little digging. Especially since you insulted several of them. So your attempt at protecting your identity is probably for naught. For your sake hopefully Jimmy isn't a gigantic prick.
Will you promise me that you weren't at all being needy, asking way too much shit about the show? Also, are you one of those guys that people just don't like in an "I don't get why I don't like you," non personal way?
Paula Poundstone I was creeped out by. Just a strange lady. Had this weird stare. I also worked as a door guy at a club when I first started out. I didn't open for her but was around her when she came to town. Crazy cat lady type.
He may have still been upset about almost breaking his streak of performing on New Years due to bombs dropping near the troops he was meant to perform for.
I bet money "disgruntled comic" is THE road dog comic.
Has a funny 20 mins, could go 40 if there's idiots in the front row he can riff on. And those 20 minutes probably aren't the freshest jokes in world. "Tinder's weird" "I don't care who gets offended, but FUCK religion" & some clever metaphor for eating pussy.
I bet when he goes back to his home club's open mic, he shows up 45 minutes into the show and makes a big scene about it so the new comics huddle around him, then he bumps an open mic'r so he can "work on his new shit", but really he does it because it makes him feel like when a Chappelle or Rock or Seinfeld bump the lineup in NY or LA.
Dude, you were the MC. If the Headliner doesn't want to pal around with you, it's not personal. Stop jerking yourself off around a bunch of "civilians" and go hit a mic.
If I were a comic starting out, not necessarily an open mic-er, and Seinfeld came up on stage to cut me off,
as if he were Bob Hope on "The Tonight Show",
I'd shove the entire mic stand up his faggot, entitled Jew anus.
He's a big enough name that he could call any fucking club owner in the country and book any night
to "try out new stuff" without having to step on a nobody trying to make their way in the business.
It's bad enough everybody slurps his balls, as if having him vaguely look in your general direction
and not sneer means you're gonna get a sitcom deal out of him.
That's why they don't have Tom Papa on anymore.
They've given up on the "Multiple Papa Appearances=An Eventual Seinfeld Appearance" gambit.
Way off. Also not many open mics on a Friday night. Did you not read the part where I said a mutual friend suggested I open & got it booked. You know helping out a friend get work & helping another friend not have some shit MC doing "Where my drinkers at?"'as his opener? Maybe mutual friend thought they would get along? It's called NETWORKING fuckface.
You are the jealous dickhead who comes to a show, has a couple of overpriced drinks, & starts hating on the comic performing mentally because:
A: You are secretly jealous because you work some unimportant job and you gave up your dream ages ago so you hold it against the person onstage doing something or at least trying to do something with their life.
B: The chick you are with laughs a little too hard at jokes and her pussy is wet cause there is a dude onstage controlling a crowd of people. Or you are (more than likely) single and you see how easy it is to get laid (even shitty comics get laid) doing this. You have to work chicks harder cause "I work in the IT department" isn't getting you in any holes.
Probably both.
I'm respected by most who know me fuckface. Assholes like you heckle shows and make it all about you cause your life sucks and your jealous.
I have no Tinder matetial. I don't need an app to get pussy.
Just by the way you said "I'm respected by most who know me", you are that annoying "vet" comic. One of those asshole comics who puts the 2016 Comedy Central logos on your flyers, but you were on Comedy Central in 2000...if you even have a TV credit at all.
Just the fact you went with the "you wish you could what I do" hack line, followed by the Ian Halperin-esque "I make your girl's pussy wet" bit let's me know you're not (to quote Robinson) 'Back of the Bus' funny.
...at least the trolls in this reddit just talk shit. You're trying to separate yourself as an elite member of this yapping henfest by playing the "I'm in the biz" card.
Now seriously, go hit a mic...by landing on it face first from a very tall building.
This just inspires me to make some random account and fuck with you guys. All it takes is someone who doesn't write like a retard and a story that this sub would want to believe. I'm not saying I don't believe this guy is real. I'm saying I'm not going to believe in either direction, because that's fucking retarded.
I saw Jim Norton at a grocery store in New york yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
You guys are fucking retarded if you believe a word of this shit. This is definitely the same dude that posted a couple other bullshit stories here and you mouth breathers probably believed him then too.
I'm going to be ask you a few things and I need you to be honest with me OP:
Were you maybe a little over eager to meet James? One of the biggest reasons Jimmy isn't able to get a photograph, or even a conversation with someone is because he can't help but exude what a fanboy fucking girl he is.
I'm going to go ahead and assume you're either my age or younger. Why do you feel like you're entitled to a conversation or even him being nice? Yeah, you opened for him, so fucking what? Did he ask you to open because he knew you on a personal level and was doing you a favor, or was it a business decision?
That's cop-out bullshit, you can be fully capable of avoiding being taken advantage of without being a pretentious douchbag in the process. That's a shit personality, not the sign of a guy watching out for himself.
I have personally noticed an inverse relationship between talent and niceness.
As noted in my original comment, many of the most talented people I know are complete dicks, while many of the least talented people I know are very nice.
I don't think this is accidental. Many people who are untalented make up for it with charm.
There are outliers - it sounds like Doug Stanhope is nice and talented. But he's also a drunk. It's possible that he wouldn't be so nice if he wasn't drunk after the show.
or maybe some people let their talent inflate their egos, thereby transforming them into pricks, while others maintain a reasonable demeanor regardless of how well they do their job
I love all most of you do all day is throw most of these comics under the bus by just judging them from appearances on radio or onstage. Someone shows up to actually verify some of the stuff and you start defending the people you trash on a daily basis.
This is exactly why I have been lurking on this board for months and not posting anything.
Humble brag? Guy's been in the business for at least 10 years probably more like 15 and he's still hasn't left the Midwest. He's making shit for money. He ain't bragging about shit.
I believe you but I'm surprised. It's well known he hated the industry and the "system" but he DEFINITELY deserved to have little success if he was a dick to his fans.
I met Dave Atell at a dive bar I was bouncing at in Midtown about 10 years ago. I made a comment about Hedberg's death that in retrospect was a bit insensitive. He was very cool. Pretty mellow and quiet and bordered on glum.
Not to worry, he posted enough info for Jimmy to figure out who he is if he gets his panties in a twist and wants to take out his anger on a nobody comedian.
325 comments
132 dwc151 2016-05-20
You must not be a girl.
66 jakdak 2016-05-20
With a penis.
40 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
10 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2016-05-20
Tss yeah, or strike him like lightning or sumthin' tss
-6 SinSkin 2016-05-20
Chicks with dicks
2 MonsteRain 2016-05-20
he just doesn't have the right energy and by energy I mean a cunt
1 late_50s_why 2016-05-20
You open for Norton, you get steak dinner and cutesy jokes, everybody knows that
88 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Lisa Lapenelli: Bitch who fired me back in like 2008 during one of my first paid gigs at a club. Said I looked like a "sand nigger" to which I replied "Coming from the Queen of Mean that's a really big compliment."
She replied back "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
"Queen of Mean, that's your nickname. I mean your website is www.queenofmean.com or something right?"
She replied back: "I will take that from someone like Dave Attell but I won't take that from some pissed on open mic'er in (my city name). Get the fuck out of here you're fired."
Had me physically taken out of the comedy club. Embarrassing. I almost quit comedy.
Ralphie May: Unfunny prick. Actually had a fax come in from a movie studio to the club we worked at together. It was a pitch and I shit you not for him to star in a direct to DVD Uncle Buck sequel.
Vos & Bonnie: Great people. Vos found out I had family in the audience one of the shows and roasted me for most of his set. Then was classy and picked up my family's bill.
Hedberg: Can't say enough nice things. But man.....he loved drugs. Did blow in his hotel room with him and his wife, they kept disappearing to the bathroom to smoke H.
Bob Levy: Again, takes a lot of shit but is a great guy and really takes care of other comics.
Florentine: See the Levy comment. And I find him funny.
Tommy Davidson & Pauly Shore: Freebase/Crack smokers who are total dicks.
Aries Spears: Wants a white opener so he can treat them like shit all weekend. Happened to me. A lot of the "urban" acts are like this.
Chappelle: Awesome. Did one show. Super cool. This was right after he left Comedy Central.
Tracy Morgan: He was a mess. This was when he was heavily drinking and doing who knows what else (never saw him do anything else but you don't act like that on just booze). Got kicked out of the bar and took a girl back to the hotel who probably should've had her ID checked. He was also raving how much he loved his wife prior to this.
Attell: Great guy, but is the most miserable person I have ever met.
Stanhope: Awesome. Worked with him a bunch.
41 donald_kingsley 2016-05-20
I don't care whether any of this is true or not, that's a great line.
10 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
25 TriangleDimes 2016-05-20
For an industry of people that dress either like off-the-clock dishwashers or failed rockstars, I find comedians get really uppity when people don't respect the rigid class system they've all invented in their twisted, sticky minds.
13 aaron91325 2016-05-20
You sound like such a civilian.
2 real_gekido 2016-05-20
Lisa Lampanelli looks like Dee Snyder with diabetes
21 McGowan9 2016-05-20
Despite the shit he gets on here, Florentine does come across as a nice guy and I also find him funny - when Opie's not tearing the ass out of his "that's not ok for a guy to do" schtick. Come to think of it, has Florentine been on O&J since Opie mocked his messy divorce?
Glad to hear that Stanhope is as cool as I hoped he is.
16 Doc_McCoy79 2016-05-20
I met Florentine a couple times and he's cool as hell. Super nice guy. First time I ever got to talk to him was at Melrose Improv, we both went to the front bar (when it was still open) at the same time to get a drink, and Aziz Ansari was on stage. I said "Thank god you're here, because it's comedians like this that I cannot fucking stand." Then we just went off on "happy, fun" comedy for like 5 minutes, it made me so happy. I live for my miserable east coast comics that come to shit on sunny LA.
Ive never seen Norton be a dick, the only thing I can say is if you want to say hi/get a pic with him after the show, you have about a 30 second window to have his attention because all he does is scan the room for women/victims. I can't say I blame him and I know he's a sex addict & shit, but it's still not the most endearing trait.
12 Theanfieldkid 2016-05-20
I can attest to the Norton picture thing. Went to two of his shows, first time my wife got his attention to get a pic and he only stopped because she had an open shirt. When he realized he had to take a pic with me the shit eating look he makes in the pic is reminiscent of the face he makes when doing uncle Paul. Second time I saw him in Tampa while on a business trip. The walking personality Kenny was asked to take the pic. I'm about Kennys size and when he couldn't get the pic to take on my phone , told me to move on and figure it out and jimmy brushed me off was when I started to turn. It was pushing the one button visible on the phone. Fucking lummox. For all the karate Kenny "knows" he looks like he's one solid shot to anywhere chest down on him from eating a mouthful of concrete. Jimmy has no connection with his fans anymore and is a shit heel. Lose more respect for him the more I read.
8 AngeloMacon 2016-05-20
I don't mind Louie's or Bill Murray's stance on taking pics, but obsessed with pics Norton should entertain fans after shows for a picture. The most hypocritical thing Norton ever said was how he turned on Jeter for ignoring his picture request over some hot chicks attention. Lack of self awareness cunt.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
That's what I always thought was weird. He says that stuff on air but was the complete opposite way.
Honestly I think he hates coming to the Midwest too.
3 late_50s_why 2016-05-20
I don't know if it's worth your time but can you crop and upload Norton's face and your wife shirt
1 Theanfieldkid 2016-05-20
Will when I get back
8 newtbutts 2016-05-20
Which is funny because if a true famous person won't take a photo with him he flips out and throws a hissy fit and talks shit about them.
1 TotallyNotObsi 2016-05-20
Lol victims
1 nointernetforyou 2016-05-20
Takes all night to find less than "passables"
0 Audibledogfarts 2016-05-20
I met Norton a few times after shows and he does this. It's part of his charm.
-2 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-05-20
k
1 illydelph 2016-05-20
Many times, he was just on this week.
9 McGowan9 2016-05-20
Gave myself away as someone who doesn't listen to the show any more. Blush.
2 i_saw_nothing 2016-05-20
LOL! YOU DON'T LISTEN!
Wait. I think I got that wrong...
1 Tormenta263 2016-05-20
Out of the guests that I met during my internship there last year, him and Nikki Glaser stood out as really nice people.
2 McGowan9 2016-05-20
Who are you?
2 iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-05-20
a liar
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Nope. Again, the comedy circuit is surprisingly kinda small believe it or not. I have no agent. I seriously would be burning lots of bridges if I said who I was. Plus I don't owe anyone anything in here. Believe me or not. I don't care to be honest. Reddit ain't paying my bills or getting me laid. This place isn't my life. I look at it to laugh. Some of you are really funny.
1 iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-05-20
I was calling /u/tormenta263 a liar for saying he had an internship at O&J not you. You're either telling the truth, which I'm inclined to believe, or a good enough liar that you could make this interesting enough so either way you're not bothering me. I would like to ask one legitimate question of you though. Assuming you're a feature and you most likely do a solid 20 every time, how often do you change it and how long did it take to work out completely?
1 Tormenta263 2016-05-20
Not a liar, I was there from Jan till may last year and did a small ama here a few months ago which I have since deleted since they read this sub constantly.
1 iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-05-20
"I had a picture of my sexy girlfriend from Canada but it got destroyed when my mansion burned down and then she died in a car accident" when in reality it's "my blow up doll floated away in a flood."
1 Tormenta263 2016-05-20
Lol fair enough.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Nikki is great. Sarah Schaefer was cool too until she got all SJW. A lot of comics are going that route now. It's sad.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Florentine is great. Just a really nice guy who like Levy does a lot to help other comics. And I find him hilarious. Those Meet The Creeps DVDs are really funny.
20 FaggotBannedKeith 2016-05-20
I'm sold.
13 YouAintGotToLieCraig 2016-05-20
I tweeted this to the people you mentioned. Aries Spears responded "suck a dick" then deleted the tweet and blocked me. Talk about shooting the messenger, am I right gang?
http://i.imgur.com/hYgufyx.png
https://twitter.com/AriesSpears/status/733802021086584832
5 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
You must have interrupted him while he was practicing that Shaq impression of his. Gonna be relevant again someday, you watch.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I think that honestly was his closer when we worked together.
4 cbanks420lol 2016-05-20
https://twitter.com/RoosterMcdoogle/status/733797033081995264
All these people have me blocked except for Bob.
3 buryonedeep 2016-05-20
Is it safe to assume OP is Bob Levy?
1 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
Shows you how "every man for himself" that industry is. Blecch.
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Sounds like Aries.
Also took the wait staff out for drinks after one of his shows & ditched out on the bill so they all ended up paying for theirs and his. He's a fucking asshole.
11 Clibanarius 2016-05-20
What you say about Dave Attell is backed up by my observations on him. He is such a genius, too, it's sad that he has absolutely no self-esteem.
8 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-05-20
I met Dave Atell at a dive bar I was bouncing at in Midtown about 10 years ago. I made a comment about Hedberg's death that in retrospect was a bit insensitive. He was very cool. Pretty mellow and quiet and bordered on glum.
3 buryonedeep 2016-05-20
I think most comedians suffer from deep depression. The good ones at least.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I do. I'm not great. I think I'm just lucky. But we are all sad sacks of shit who just want people to like us.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Mitch was great. Had an aura of sadness around him though. Probably was just that junkie lifestyle.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
He's really funny. But man...he is jaded as fuck by the industry. Also would not be shocked if he went the Robin Williams route someday.
11 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
Fuck Lampenelli, that jiggaboo-loving, unfunny, cookie cutter slob.
8 nointernetforyou 2016-05-20
I hate her recent "reborn" crap. Awful.
3 zHellas 2016-05-20
Her what?
Haven't heard about this.
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Me either. Do tell.
1 aidspiss 2016-05-20
tsss wuddabout At tell tssss
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
She treated me like that before she got popular. Can't imagine what how that fat pig treats people once she got a little fame.
0 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
Indeed. Comics like Norton, etc. are such fame whores that the least bit of heat they get,
suddenly this gives them the "right" to shit on their so-called underlings
the way the bigger names shit on them as they were starting out in the business.
Like the "Signing Autographs Without Looking At The Person/Paper/Picture" thing.
Yeccchhh ....
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
10 lordxenu44 2016-05-20
You've been featuring in the Midwest since hedberg was alive?
24 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I was MC'ing back then.
Vos will still MC once in awhile. Gigs are gigs and money is money.
6 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-05-20
Please tell us who you really are.
18 rahtin 2016-05-20
Why? You've never heard of him. He's a ham and egger.
He's the Midwest equivalent of Joe Devito. He's a funny guy who makes his living on stage and has a normal life.
11 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2016-05-20
He's a Haaamburrger?
4 WiretapStudios 2016-05-20
Shucky ducky quack quack!
1 BatKnuckles 2016-05-20
I can't say one without the other anymore
1 Viking_Lordbeast 2016-05-20
In tha hou'.
2 i_saw_nothing 2016-05-20
So you're saying he has a chance to get a show on
TACSCompound Media?2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
No thanks. I'm not a Cumia fan anymore. That ship is sinking.
1 i_saw_nothing 2016-05-20
Oh, literal /u/DisgruntledComic...
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
This guy gets it.
2 Joshua_Goodnaturedly 2016-05-20
"It's money. It's money."
7 urfaceisa 2016-05-20
Honestly that's really shitty. If you were a janitor, then it would have been wrong for her to fire you, but you were supposed to be a comic.
She did not wake up in the afternoon and manage to not have an eye gougued out while traversing a sea of black cock just to find out that somebody associated with her show has weak milqtoast banter.
3 Viking_Lordbeast 2016-05-20
Tss this guy's burnin some bridges better get 'im some rope or sumthin' tsstss
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
-1 reallywhowouldcare 2016-05-20
Stop lying...
-3 Jarvismcjigglesteins 2016-05-20
I don't care how nice Florentine is IRL, I will not be condescended by a 75 year old man who listens to Slipknot.
That said, I hope somehow this thread is brought to the attention of worm faggot & we get to hear him defensively, yet sanctimoniously try to weasel out of it.
6 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2016-05-20
"That said, I hope somehow this thread is brought to the attention of worm faggot & we get to hear him defensively, yet sanctimoniously try to weasel out of it."
My thoughts exactly. Maybe a twitter forward to him?
3 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
Like that hasn't already been done the instant this thread appeared. lol
-6 cottonsweatpants 2016-05-20
I heard Chapelle is really condescending to whites. But he was going thru some shit at the time.
0 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-05-20
I feel there's a good joke in there somewhere.
2 aidspiss 2016-05-20
He was a being a nigger at that time.
60 NevadaJPH 2016-05-20
Why doesn't this shock me that the Worm is getting worse to "the small, unimportant folk" that can't further his stalling career.
49 [deleted] 2016-05-20
The worst was the female comic he brought to open. She didn't get one laugh.
26 WilliamTellAll 2016-05-20
he brings unfunny female comedians to make himself look good after they bomb. i think we all knew that from the first moment we noticed a trend.
that and to try and sleep with them because hes a sad flake.
15 jazzmercenary 2016-05-20
There's a clip of Rogan and Jim Jeffries taking about "a really funny comic" who has shitty openers to make him look better. While this could be a general thing it seems like by the reaction Jeffries gives that they're talking about a mutual acquaintance
6 xxmikekxx 2016-05-20
It could be Burr too. His crew of guys all suck. Derosa, Paul Virzi, Joe Bartmick -- all those guys are all garbage
4 Pericorp 2016-05-20
He's like best friends with Paul Virzi so that's propably the reason.
4 americanmook 2016-05-20
Those are his friends though.
1 xxmikekxx 2016-05-20
Maybe he purposely makes friends with shitty comics
2 jazzmercenary 2016-05-20
Does he still have DeRosa open for him? Makes sense considering their relative careers but it's gotta be pretty degrading to open for the same guy for over a decade
1 enzo_trash 2016-05-20
Depressing? DeRosa should be thanking God every day he gets to open for Bill Burr.
1 jizzajam 2016-05-20
Yeah, I've seen Burr twice, two different hours of material, with Virzi up front doing the same 15... ugh
20 RonSwansonsCabin 2016-05-20
Her set was complete torture
9 Tremendousdread 2016-05-20
" omg she's sooooo funny, really funny man. Like most people say female comics aren't that funny but she realllly is man. I know comedy I'm not a civilian" desperately hope this will get her to touch my tiny shriveled old flaccid trouser worm
5 reallywhowouldcare 2016-05-20
But he tweets her pic and says shes funny.
2 mrheh 2016-05-20
Was it that blonde chick? I saw her in September when she opened for jim and she was beyond awful, her closer was something about vagina scented car fresheners.
2 iris201 2016-05-20
Amy Schumer?
19 Hxcgrapes 2016-05-20
deep nose inhale I have no time for civilian baby-boys.
1 _MurdocNiccals 2016-05-20
Smacks lips
55 Ant_Sucks 2016-05-20
I opened for DisgruntledComic twice and was sexually harassed by him on both occassions. AMA
25 aaron91325 2016-05-20
What were you wearing to provoke him?
19 Ant_Sucks 2016-05-20
Just my school uniform
10 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
6 aaron91325 2016-05-20
Sounds like you... enticed him.
4 TriangleDimes 2016-05-20
This sub is turning me, at best, gay.
1 YouAintGotToLieCraig 2016-05-20
Their umbilical cord.
4 SNAPINTOASLIMJIMOHYE 2016-05-20
How big was his pekkah?
2 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-20
Are you a fag now that he bum raped you? Is that how homosexuality works?
50 russelldalrymple 2016-05-20
I've met quite a few comics - Burr, Stanhope, even Seinfeld once in Atlantic City. And while they were all nice, Norton was without a doubt the nicest.
I was in MSP a few summers ago and was flying back to LAX on the last flight of the day. (I think it was around 9pm which puts you into LA late, like 11ish - so you're in for a long evening). We had a mechanical, and there was some little TGIFs or some shitty chain was right next to our gate. I plopped down to have a few drinks and the guy next to me (not drinking, of course) is on a call, really upset trying to figure out how to switch his flight. I recognized the voice and it was him.
Like the loser I am, I pulled out my phone, pulled up one of O&A's podcasts, and set it down on the table. Kinda transparent, and he probably knew it and looked over. I made some lame joke about him not making it back in time for the show the next day, and he acknowledged it and brushed it off. I asked for a picture and he said, "yeah, but let's try not to make a scene." Which is funny, because I don't think a single other person there knew who he was, nor would they have given a shit. Unfortunately he got a call right as I was getting my camera ready, but luckily during the flight I ran into him in the galley when we both got up to stretch our legs. He remembered me and immediately dropped down and started sucking my fawkin peckah so good I shot fawkin cum all over his bald head.
Got a picture of it, and he said if I sent it to him he'd autograph it and send it back and he never did. So I guess he really is an asshole.
16 Audibledogfarts 2016-05-20
Hahaha. I read this whole thing, you peckah
13 TotallyNotObsi 2016-05-20
God damn it
8 majestik6 2016-05-20
Winner
7 destinyaltboy 2016-05-20
You absolute motherfucker
2 imthatsingleminded 2016-05-20
He's Russell Dalrymple - he makes and breaks little worms like you every day.
2 DeadBabyJuggler 2016-05-20
*motherhucker
1 A_Real_OG_Readmore 2016-05-20
I even jumped to the last paragraph looking for peckahs...
40 sanfrancisco69er 2016-05-20
Damn, as much as I hate defensive Jim I've never really jumped on the Norton hate train, but I can definitely see this and its pretty fuckin hateable. The two comics that Ive seen that hung around after the show were Jimmy and Stanhope. Stanhope = everything you could want. He hangs out, smokes in the green room, has a beer cracked open, talks to fans in a circle as if their all equal, except the attention is generally turned more toward him. Jimmy = just business as usual. People line up to take a picture and every person he puts on that awful smile, "Great!" "Yeah!" "I'd love to" "Ok!" and is otherwise extremely dismissive and Kenny moves them right along and tries to get you to buy merch. Like you said, not offended, he doesnt owe me anything and I have no reason to expect anything, but I saw Norton first and thought it was awesome he took the time to meet the fans after the show, but it was so fake and dismissive he might as well have just not done it.
22 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
I've had the same experience with Stanhope, he's super cool with the fans. Doesn't act like he needs to be seperated from the crowd, will drink and hang out with the people who come to see him. You don't get the vibe from him that he thinks his craft puts him above the people who pay to see it.
10 qdpbog 2016-05-20
I've never met Stanhope but he doesn't seem like he has a celebrity aura around him. Patrice didn't seem to have it either. I wonder if it's their philosophical style of stand-up and their long form ideas that don't set up for a single punchline.
4 aaron91325 2016-05-20
Stanhope is famous for inviting fans to his house for Super Bowl parties. He is a man of the people.
5 DanielRigg 2016-05-20
On a recent episode of his podcast he talked about how every now and then fans will come to his house, cause its out there from the Super Bowl parties, and as long as they seem normal and its during the daytime he'll invite them in for one drink and then they have to go.
4 Former_Winner 2016-05-20
I saw Stanhope last year and he went from the stage to the bar and started serving drinks and was bullshitting with the fans. It was awesome.
13 TriangleDimes 2016-05-20
Club Soda Kenny is probably the person I hate the most in the O&A universe. Every story about him, every time he's on the air, every picture of him, I would just love for him to be gored by a bull (Spain style or Cuckold style, I don't give a hey.)
2 robobot 2016-05-20
I've seen Stanhope a bunch of times in different cities and he's always great. The first time I saw him at One Eyed Jack's in New Orleans, he was walking around in the front bar and when our paths crossed, I told him that I had "so much fun in there." He looked my in the eye with genuine gratitude and excitement and gave me a heartfelt "Thanks, man! Me too."
And I could tell he really meant it and was just so happy that everyone had a good time.
I've talked to him briefly after other shows too and it's always the same. He's just a really good guy.
Edit: Oh shit. I forgot where I was for a minute... You're all a bunch of cunts and everything you like sucks.
2 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
Last time I saw him, he wound up doing extra time because he got one of his openers too fucked up in the green room and she flaked. He was cracking up about the situation the entire time. His shows are a fucking blast.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
35 Mac684 2016-05-20
Isnt this exactly why he went on his infamous derek jeter rant. What a cunt
29 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I was thinking that the whole time. Or his Gene Simmons rant when he first met him.
34 Stinkybelly 2016-05-20
Of all the comics in the world who SHOULD NOT be like that it's Norton. His stuff is tired and hack to put it nicely and you can tell whenever he talks shop with other comments (Maron comes to mind) he speaks as if he's their equal or on the same level as them. You can just tell they just don't find his shit to be all that funny but they will still throw him the occasional "I heard you killed the other night" to pump him up. These guys are tight with him because back in the day the show gave them a platform. How else would these guys have gotten an audience of a few million a few times a month to listen to them. At this point the guys that blew up have maintained the relationship so they don't come off as phony. If Norton never gets the gig on O&A you can cut his list of comedy "friends" in half.
5 aaron91325 2016-05-20
Does he still do 15 minutes on Sandusky/Paterno?
11 Lasagna_Hat 2016-05-20
No, but his Bill Clinton sex scandal bit is off the chain
7 MandrakesLeg 2016-05-20
Brothas be drivin' like this. And white boys, we be drivin' like this!
0 late_50s_why 2016-05-20
He got a fat bitch sucking on his dick! Ohh!!
1 TheJadeSyndicate 2016-05-20
I was never really a big fan of Norton's stand up but all the comics on the show normally give him a lot of respect so I don't know what you're talking about there. I saw him at the cellar a few months ago though and he killed with a bunch of Catelyn Jenner jokes.
2 Stinkybelly 2016-05-20
I'm sure they do on some level. For a guy with limited ability he was able to take it pretty far but you can't tell me that Burr would have the same amount of "respect" for Norton than he does say Louie... Or Louie respects Norton as much as he did Patrice I could do that with almost any combination of comedians that were on the show and Norton comes up short. I guess my point is for the quality of comedians he rubs shoulders with youd expect him to be right up there with them in terms of ability and in my opinion he isn't.
1 TheJadeSyndicate 2016-05-20
Well your only examples are three of the most respected people in comedy. I think he gets the amount of respect he deserves from the other comedians. Normand, Distefano, Soder, and the other lesser known comedians definitely seem to look up to and respect him. He's not on the same level as Burr or Louie but definitely gets more respect than Vos or Florentine. His specials aren't very good IMO, but saying he has "limited ability" is cutting him a little short with all the garbage comics there are out there.
1 late_50s_why 2016-05-20
Ofc they look up to him he's got tons of money, from doing comedy and most riding coat tail
0 Stinkybelly 2016-05-20
I don't think Burr or CK have as much respect for his shit as they do Vos'... Florentine is about right. Anyone at florentine's level and under is about right but that's my point though. He's a much bigger name than those guys. You would think the difference in talent would be just as big.
1 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
I watched his last special with my chick, and within 15 minutes she asked "Is that all really he talks about is fucking"? But it's not. At least once a special, he'll shoe-horn in a story about the radio show.
2 late_50s_why 2016-05-20
I mean sxm shouldn't have fire him, sxm should stick to free speech
1 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
uh......
34 panasonictooth 2016-05-20
Norton's not interested in up and coming comics unless you're a hot chick that isn't funny.
31 McGowan9 2016-05-20
Second sentence in, I scanned to the end for a "peckahs." For once, am glad it wasn't there.
On a separate note, get a real job shitbird.
31 HBTaskForceRedLeader 2016-05-20
1 hour in and still no comment from /u/therealjimnorton, must be true because HE COULD HAVE COMMENTED and said what he wanted.
4 buryonedeep 2016-05-20
Yep, /u/therealjimnorton was given an opportunity to chime in on this thread and obviously had nothing to say. OP must be speaking the truth. Case closed.
24 CookieHaid 2016-05-20
CTRL-F pekahs?
24 3stepsbackward 2016-05-20
Maybe if you had tits, Jimmy would have bought you a nice steak dinner.
16 RacistPigeon 2016-05-20
No, cause he and opie would be close if that was the case.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
You win this thread.
3 McGowan9 2016-05-20
Correction, maybe if he had tits and a fat cock, Jimmy would have treated him to a nice steak dinner. See...because, Jimmy likes chicks with dicks.
22 Stevebg 2016-05-20
What do you expect? Little jimmy is insecure as fuck. Why do you think he has a bodyguard with him at every gig?
Deep down inside he knows the only reason why other comics give him the time of day is because he's associated with and can get them on O&A / O&J. His pure talent as a comic sucks.
The fucking guy never or barely graduated from high school, didn't move out of his parents place till his thirties, can't get laid without paying, his "addiction" is cry baby teenage bullshit. He has a lot to be insecure about.
21 shimrra 2016-05-20
Big Jay Oakerson described a similar story on his podcast when he met Jim Norton for the first time.
20 kgt5003 2016-05-20
I wouldn't take it personally. Jim was probably just worried that you might crack a joke or 2 in the green room and that would influence his act. He is very careful about that sort of thing, ya know.
19 lelgimps 2016-05-20
Based on all the comedy podcasts, it only gets worse /u/DisgruntledComic
I believe you. I just imagine that, you have to keep at it. And keep in mind Norton's genius is only on radio. I don't look up his standup on youtube whatsoever, he's worthless there. Perhaps you will do better than him when you do your comedy. And you probably suck now, git gud faggot.
19 ehondaslaps 2016-05-20
yea jim just seems like an uptight prick, and hes really unintelligent, but at the same time he acts like a know it all. And his stand up is garbage.
i used to say jim was the artie lange of the show but hes more like a combination of artie and gary dell'abate.
18 Stinkybelly 2016-05-20
Jimmy is a fucking edgelord that thought he was going to revolutionize the comedy world with his stuff only to find out that when you get into the big leagues there has to be some substance behind the "shock". There's nothing about Nortons stand up that makes you think "I wanna see him again...". He's a one trick pony and even then the one trick he knows has been done better by other people. The fact that he's cool with some of the biggest names in the business somehow for him thinking he's in the same league as them so he's never thought to change his shitck, he figures "if it ain't broken...". Thing is it IS broken, it's always been broken, when it comes to standup. He was the bridge for O&A to get some of the best comics on the air and vice versa for the comedians... THATS HIS THING... And he's actually good at radio too ill give him that. But to hear that he's on the road acting like he's above people doesn't surprise me in the slightest bit. Most of the people opening for him were probably way funnier than him too.
4 TakesTheWrongSideGuy 2016-05-20
I paid for my brother and I to see Norton once and it was awful. The only time we laughed was during a few off th the cuff remarks he made about club soda kenny. Otherwise his entire act is regurgitated from the radio show.
2 SteeringTheShip 2016-05-20
This is what I notice from his specials. Now, I've heard the birth of bits by Patrice and Louis from when they were on the radio but Norton took it way too far, literally bringing up the show at some point. Yeah that's how you expand your audience and try to hit it big with a t.v. special, by telling inside jokes. Fucking retard.
11 SpaceCaseBassFace 2016-05-20
I like Artie's standup way better than Norton's. Arties last special sucked but I saw him live in December and he killed.
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Artie is great. Very limited interaction with him. Never worked with him on a show tho. Just came to one of his shows cause a friend was opening. Just a warm, friendly guy.
7 rahtin 2016-05-20
When the show was at it's peak, Norton was carrying it with laughs. He was fucking perfect on the radio. Artie is the only other person on the planet that was comparable.
Now we get recovery talk.
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
It's sad what happened to all those shows.
1 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-05-20
Ehhh. I agree that his standup can be lackluster and his characters are god awful, but he has an amazingly quick wit. I find him to be of above average intelligence.
19 MFWinab 2016-05-20
deep nasal inhale
"I don't know man, I mean if i've had a bad night or a bad set I might have come across like a bit of a dick but I honestly don't remember. Whats the guys name? He didn't say? Oh so he hates me enough to trash me but he doesn't even have the fuckin balls to use his name? Its always the same shit, these ssssssssssscumbags on the internet who hide behind their little usernames. Why?! Use your real name you fuckin coward! Y'know I actually thought about apologising. Swear to god, I was gonna find out this guy's name and then apologise the next time I see him but now I know he's just another one of these fuckin ssssssssscumbags who hides behind a fake name online so fuck him."
"Fawkin brutal, now lets go to Chuck in South Carolina, CHUCK?"
6 DaveNone 2016-05-20
Wow I read that in Jimmy's voice. You nailed what he'd say perfectly.
2 Zach86 2016-05-20
Opie's 'Not paying attention response' #3 was a good choice.
0 [deleted] 2016-05-20
He wouldn't apologize to me he would probably just see I wouldn't get booked many legitimate places anymore.
17 holodog 2016-05-20
Now plug your podcast.
28 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Nah. Don't have one. I am a fan of this Reddit so I thought I would finally post something. All true and no I won't say who I am but you wouldn't know me anyway. I manly MC and feature in the Midwest.
15 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-05-20
Well hello there
;)
2 DaveNone 2016-05-20
Damn now you done gone and made Knickers moist. The only sand nigger that ever made u/I_Hate_Knickers moist was u/DisgruntledComic.
10 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
2 Joshua_Goodnaturedly 2016-05-20
I can't people Russell Peters came to our sub.
-1 Joshua_Goodnaturedly 2016-05-20
People=believe
1 imcrapyall 2016-05-20
maz jobrani?
1 yul_brynner 2016-05-20
The iron sheik?
9 respeckKnuckles 2016-05-20
tsss...yeah what else you gonna womanly MC or sumpthin? tss
2 YouAintGotToLieCraig 2016-05-20
hey.
hey.
Where's your hammer?
16 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-20
Big Jay Oakerson gave the impression Jim's a dick as well. Now that Jay's blowing up it seems they're on good terms.
9 majestik6 2016-05-20
Remember when Jim cancelled Gavin because Jim was sucking Vice's dick?
14 junior457 2016-05-20
I was flying out of Vegas about 10 years ago and he was in the Airport VIP lounge place waiting for his flight which happened to be the same flight I was on, coming back to Newark NJ.
Being a "fan" I observed him and he is a very "odd" person with his mannerisms and stature in general. He really looks like a prematurely angry aged child. He's very small in height and over all stature (mind you I'm 6'4 300lbs).
Although he had a small entourage with him in the airport he was either traveling alone, or just sitting in first class alone. (he was two rows in front of me) He brought a lap top and watched movies for the majority of the flight, one of which while not being a true porn, was like one of those soft porn after 12am HBO movies. Certainly enough gratuitous sex which I found pretty funny he would watch on a lap top with everyone else like me snooping.
I was torn on asking him for an autograph or picture, after awhile I just didn't get a good "vibe" from him and decided to pass. I can totally get what you are talking about.
5 majestik6 2016-05-20
That's what happens when you pay for sex all your life. It turns you into a creep. Charlie Sheen gives off that vibe too.
1 junior457 2016-05-20
I haven't listened to the show since they were still on FM radio, at that time Jim had a much smaller role than I think he does now. I really didn't have much of an opinion of him and have no axe to grind with the guy, but yeah "creep" pretty much sums it up.
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Real twitchy too. Almost like a nervous tick or something. Airports are the worst places to bother people though.
1 aaron91325 2016-05-20
I'd pay to see you fight Club Soda Kenny.
4 junior457 2016-05-20
I'm not a listener of the show so I had to google who that was. Here is my honest assessment of the fight, at first I laughed and thought I would kick this douches ass. Then I had a closer look and on second thought I might have a problem.
He's a bit cross eyed, I have issues with that, I'd be looking at the left eye, thinking he doesn't see my left jab, when his right eye has the jab clearly in its focus. Advantage Kenny.
Next the freak doesn't have a chin to punch! I would have to get a clean shot to the temple to knock him out. His cranium looks to be a little "thick" so I might break a knuckle trying. Advantage Kenny.
I would gladly take your money for the fight, just not sure I'll give you your money's worth. Hey at least I'm honest!
-2 aaron91325 2016-05-20
You. I like you. How the hell did you find yourself in this cesspool of a sub if you never listened to O&A?
1 junior457 2016-05-20
I use to listen when they were still on FM radio, so I use to be a fan. This thread was on one of my followed pages, I probably started following it when I was trying to figure out what exactly happened to Anthony.
I remember reading he was suspended after a Twitter meltdown on a minority woman for taking his picture or something. What exactly happened with him? Is he back on the show?
14 bobbacklund 2016-05-20
I'm surprised the guy who viciously scorns and belittles a mentally retarded person on a large media platform isn't more friendly and accepting of people.
-7 johnhuber01 2016-05-20
It seems Norton may be too "vicious" for your sensitive ears. You should probably keep within the boundaries of your Safe Space to avoid further "Scorn"
20 bobbacklund 2016-05-20
You should probably "suck" my "dick"
14 magnEATto 2016-05-20
I'm an open mic'er and I heard the stories too. Then I saw it in person. Maybe I offended Jim in some way? Ant was there and for all the abuse we give him that he deserves: cool fucking guy(pre-rehab and during Dani). We went back and forth on show vernacular, literally cracking each other up, and he gave me his rarely-used email for Apple hook-ups (I worked at the Apple store at the time). Jim was in ear shot and didn't acknowledge us; just hovered over his camera after the show. When you see him live: you're not allowed to use your camera/phone to take pics: You have to use HIS DISPOSABLE camera, that only Kenny is allowed to touch and use. Weird. I tried to say good show and he gave me a "yeah yeah" response. Fucking miserable prick.
13 Binski13 2016-05-20
I want to believe you....so I will. Don't worry about Norton he'll die alone and irrelevant.
12 RonSwansonsCabin 2016-05-20
I've met and chatted with Vos a couple times after shows and for all the shit he gets, he's actually one of the nicest guys I've ever met.
7 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Jim is good at acting like a decent guy but you see glimpses of his true shittiness as a human if you pay attention. Opie isn't perfect but at least he has the balls to criticize celebrities and has some principles. Jim is a backstabbing piece of shit.
7 Slack_Irritant 2016-05-20
i LOVE Norton bashing threads
6 Mass_Hole 2016-05-20
From a fans prospective, Norton stays until everyone gets a pic and autograph after every show and is nice as pie about it. Worst comic I've ever talked to before or after a show was Patrice. Guy totally shit on his fans.
9 ManWithAIDS 2016-05-20
I would sell a son to be shat on by patrice.
6 Audibledogfarts 2016-05-20
I'm sure Patrice was a dick but he was always a dick.
2 DJNewStyle 2016-05-20
I met Patrice once in 2005 at the Opie and Anthony Halloween broadcast. We were by one of the bars and I told him I was a fan of his standup and liked his set on Conan. He nodded and turned his attention to his girlfriend and started talking to the bartender. A few seconds later he turned around and offered to buy me a drink.
2 holodog 2016-05-20
That sounds simultaneously uncomfortable and really cool.
6 TakesTheWrongSideGuy 2016-05-20
Yeah but that was Patrices thing and you expected it from him. Norton is just fake as shit. He gets pissed when Derek Jeter blows him off but he does the same thing.
5 majestik6 2016-05-20
In his defense, Patrice shit on everyone, including himself.
3 qdpbog 2016-05-20
What was the point of Patrice staying after the show since he didn't sell merch?
2 Mass_Hole 2016-05-20
The time I'm talking about was before a show where he was supposed to interact with fans. It was a meet and greet. Guy couldn't have been more of a dick.
1 qdpbog 2016-05-20
I believe you but I'm surprised. It's well known he hated the industry and the "system" but he DEFINITELY deserved to have little success if he was a dick to his fans.
-1 Iwontbebannedagain 2016-05-20
The "system" is a collection of people trying to make money by entertaining people. You can argue that creates a bad psychological stimulus, that it's insular, phony, that the audience is stupid, or whatever, but 9/10s of that is sour grapes or just human behavior. They're regular people, the execs and the audiences, and we like to here, "Have a nice day.", you fucking prick, even if you don't mean it. Especially if you don't.
3 AngeloMacon 2016-05-20
I've met Patrice both as a fan after a show and back stage for a corporate event. He busted my balls both times, but I thought he was doing it in humorous fashion. Are you a bit of sensitive fella? Because everything I've heard about him is that he treated everyone kind of like he treated me.
6 Jb00gie 2016-05-20
Levy has to be nice to other comics. He is only mildly more successful than his opening acts.
6 majestik6 2016-05-20
Exactly.
There's a pattern here: guys like Vos and Levy are nice because they don't want to burn bridges with clubs, coworkers, or customers.
Jim Norton doesnt give a fuck; the only bridge Jim is worried about burning is Gregg Hughes.
6 ryanasimov 2016-05-20
Why would you let Kenny make you leave the green room?
6 NashuaDan 2016-05-20
I believe this 100%. Norton is very protective of his mild celebrity and fame and gets intimidated by male comic openers who might out alpha dog him. But he is totally at ease with harmless, unfunny holes like JCarm or Kelsey Cook.
3 Joshua_Goodnaturedly 2016-05-20
And Greggory Hughes.
5 Really_Big_Dummy 2016-05-20
What years can we say all this happened?
5 SHITLORD_CUNTDICK 2016-05-20
Why not open for him and take a dive?
5 littlepeteferguson 2016-05-20
It honestly doesn't sound like he does it on purpose. I think it's part of that disconnection from people that he was talking to Maron about on his latest podcast. He talks about all of his borderline autistic interactions with people and he's discussed it in the past. He just sounds normal on the radio because he's hanging with his friends. A lot of people are like that. Even Stanhope says he's like that when he's not drinking. It is odd that he doesn't make any attempt to build rapport though. But again, he's a fucking weirdo. I don't think he'd be rude or mean to an opener on purpose.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I'm a weirdo too and on the autism spectrum but I don't act like that with other comics. Even ones I don't like or respect.
5 JoeCumiaSr 2016-05-20
tbh if you're a stranger/fan/new guy I bet tits is more civil than worm norton.
3 MaskedUploader 2016-05-20
unless you're a mongoloid. can't find the video but there was one time he made fun of this super ugly fangirl who approached him on the street after they met and had to backpedal when she posted in the comments
5 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
5 Office_Zombie 2016-05-20
Looks like the account has been deleted. Thankfully, I had it up while reading...
Worked with Norton twice. Actually was a fan of his and the show for quite a long time. The first time I worked with him I was actually suggested by a mutual friend of his (another comic I work with a lot) that I should open. He was a total dismissive asshole to me. This was with him knowing that I was close friends with a close friend of his. Barely would introduce himself to me, seemed pissed he even had to talk to me, just a weird fucking dude. Kenny was even weirder. Kicked me out of the green room while Jim was onstage and I was eating my comped meal. The show was sold out. I actually had to stand in the hallway to eat my dinner while all the servers moved around me like "Why won't the prima donna let the MC eat in the green room?" Only other time I was not allowed in the green room was when I opened for Aries Spears. Chappelle, Hedburg, Attell, several others always had their openers in the green room hanging out. Second time opening for Jim was even worse. Slammed doors in my face, got my name wrong, did the phony "He was really funny..." shit when I know he didn't watch one second of my act. Not offended, they probably get every local opener asking for a advice. I just don't like his phoniness. Him and Kenny actually talked to me this time but only to ask me advice for a diner to eat at. The ones I suggested didn't seem to be good enough. This isn't NYC with plenty of dining options, you are in the Midwest. Other people from the show have been awesome. Vos, Florentine, and a few others.....class acts. Norton....fucking insecure asshole who lost a fan. I actually turned down opening for him the last time he came thru here and I desperately need gigs and money. Bob Levy catches a lot of shit but that guy is great to other comics.
-2 GavinEnigma 2016-05-20
He deleted it because he got called on his shit for being the MC nobody wants to work with: the little starfucker who can't keep his mouth shut about what happens backstage.
1 Office_Zombie 2016-05-20
Ah...Gotcha. Thanks for the extra info.
4 SpaceCaseBassFace 2016-05-20
What would you have gotten paid for that gig you turned down?
I've seen Levy live before. He's pretty funny in an uncle humor sorta way.
7 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Friday and Saturday only shows as his MC would've been about $200-$250.
3 spinuch 2016-05-20
Levy is really nice. He was going to help me out but then he forgot and I just don't want to ask him now that he probably has no idea who I am.
6 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I wouldn't have gotten paid, I said I usually don't turn down work and needed the money but I didn't want to work with Norton again. I was a huge fan until I actually met him.
4 FaggotBannedKeith 2016-05-20
Ever work with Neil Hamburger/Turkington? The guy seems awesome.
5 TheElDan 2016-05-20
I've seen him a few times and he's always been really great with the fans after shows. One time, he owed me something like $4 change for merch and he didn't have any singles. He told me to wait while he got some, but the line behind me was huge, which I mentioned and said don't worry about it. He seemed really gracious and told me to take anything I wanted off the table to make up the difference. Really cool guy.
1 SHITLORD_CUNTDICK 2016-05-20
Are you from AVC? I recognize the name and I believe I remember you liking Burr/Norton/etc.
1 TheElDan 2016-05-20
Yeah, that's me! It drives me nuts that they never give any coverage to anyone outside the alt comedy world.
2 SHITLORD_CUNTDICK 2016-05-20
Yeah, me too. Stick around here. Its. . . different than AVC, but it can be hilarious.
3 SlamballReunionTour 2016-05-20
He's a fantastic cab driver.
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
A couple times and yes he's great. I love On Cinema.
1 BumbiBestie 2016-05-20
his movie Entertainment is now on Netflix.
1 Joshua_Goodnaturedly 2016-05-20
I saw him with Alonzo Hamburger Jones on the Hamburger Tour '09 and he was cool with me.
4 MicrowaveYourFork 2016-05-20
If it makes you feel better, Jim will eventually paint his upscale Manhattan apartment with his own brain matter. If we're lucky, he'll leave behind a suicide poem.
4 MandrakesLeg 2016-05-20
People have been saying it for years. Quinn wasn't joking when he called Norton a phony all the time. Because that's what he is. He's a complete phony. Addicts lie and all Jim cares about is what can get him some more sloppy puss.
3 EskimoEscrow 2016-05-20
Because he still has to network to open for openers.
1 morrock14 2016-05-20
Yeah, but free blue cheese.
1 ONAFan2014 2016-05-20
Still, if he had Norton's attitude, he'd be lucky. He's a professional.
3 Doc_McCoy79 2016-05-20
OP forgot to mention he had an "I Hate Ozzy And Kiss" shirt on.
2 FaggotBannedKeith 2016-05-20
I think that he was in Norton's green room and had any shirt on is where he fucked up.
3 patchdcallaghan 2016-05-20
Doesn't surprise me. Opie anthony and Jimmy are all cock suckers shitty people.
3 YouAintGotToLieCraig 2016-05-20
Did you try to sell him boots?
https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/3h5rwn/i_met_jim_norton_today_very_weird_altercation/?limit=500
3 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-05-20
I don't have anything to add, but I wanted to commend you on this great insider thread. Can you elaborate on Tommy Davidson and Pauly Shore?
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Tommy has apparently cleaned his act up. This was awhile ago. Very cracked out & paranoid acting. Flew out this crackhead looking white chick out to hang with him all weekend.
Pauly got kicked out of a bar for trying to smoke crack in it. Just loves coke in any form. Also barely did a half hour and the other 10-15 minutes was him hawking merch & $20 Polaroids with him. In between 1st and 2nd Friday night shows he pulled club security guys aside and yelled at them to get people thru the "fucking line quicker" because he didn't want to "chat with them." Just a dick.
Pablo Francisco is the biggest coke friend. Dude has a guy who shows up in the city with him he's performing in & this dude's job is to strictly find cocaine for Pablo.
3 NJPoster 2016-05-20
In his first book, he talked about closing doors in the faces of comedians who did Tough Crowd who weren't that famous. He said he wanted to do it to Jon Stewart, but backed out. He was a dick to JV & Elvis.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Will totally admit he did that to me.
2 OpiesPendulousUdders 2016-05-20
When I read the title I assumed this would be some kind of a tranny confession and the "opening" for Norton was alluding to an orifice of some kind.
I'm saddened to hear that one of my heroes behaved like a douche cunt to you.
2 JimmysLostFat 2016-05-20
BRUTTHAl
2 Fat_People_Hydra 2016-05-20
Do you still think Jimmy is a good comic after working with him or na?
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
He's funny. Didn't change my opinion. I like hos stand up.
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
2 DryTeeth 2016-05-20
Tracy Morgan: when he was drinking and doing "whatever else"....how about Shirm. Man was dusted 6 days a week.
2 barrruuuch 2016-05-20
I scrolled all the way down just in case this was a peckahs moment
2 MsgrJughead 2016-05-20
How many comics of Norton's stature have a bodyguard? I watched him once in a theater in Falls Church.
Can you imagine the hundreds of thousands he's thrown away to pay Kenny? What a fucking pussy.
Artie Lange never has never mentioned having a bodyguard and he would tens of thousands on NFL games. And Artie probably got 2 or 3 times what Norton got per ticket. Artie was addicted to heroin, threw money at bookies gambling, and never needed protection.
2 panasonictooth 2016-05-20
"[deleted]"
1 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
Lot of deletions today.
1 TakeMeXenu 2016-05-20
Everyone on the Internet is lying.
Are you loying, sir?
9 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Nope.
-3 EskimoEscrow 2016-05-20
So tell us your name.
8 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Nope. Word travels fast. I don't want the bookings I get to be affected. Sorry, a lot of you act like you know the business workings of comedy and you don't know shit.
18 EskimoEscrow 2016-05-20
LOL, say pedestrian... I know you want to.
17 nomastornados 2016-05-20
We're civilians.
1 EskimoEscrow 2016-05-20
Shit, sorry. See, I really am just a civilian.
3 TheTigerDriver 2016-05-20
Civilians*
Us civilians just wouldn't understand, man.
1 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
Or "livelihood".
6 clockworthorange 2016-05-20
Everyone knows this sub has zero affect on anyone's ability to book a gig
4 NashuaDan 2016-05-20
Fuck them, stay anonymous and keep shitting on comedians that deserve it. I believe everything you've said because it vibes with what I've heard.
3 MomsBoxx 2016-05-20
I met Vos at Goodnights in Raleigh, bought a CD and had him sign it. He couldn't have been cooler. I saw Norton at the DC Improv a few years ago and when I bought his book Kenny was cool and said "Jim will sign it", without looking up, Jim took it, signed it and handed it back. Wasn't a dick but seemed a little annoyed in general. He and Vos both did very well though. Just saw Dipaolo at the Arlington Draft House a few weeks back. FWIW He was great.
3 ihaveaholeinmyass 2016-05-20
Hey take it easy, we're just civilians
2 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
2 Pino_Palladino 2016-05-20
No offense, but the business workings of comedy aren't exactly complicated. It's basically highschool pt 2. Cliquish, riddled with insecurity, and petty. Say something bad about a comedian and his little buddies shun you. I think most everyone understands u wanting to remain anonymous. It's just easier to shit stir if your name is known
-1 TakeMeXenu 2016-05-20
You're not even remotely big enough for "Word to travel fast". Either tell us your name or this is all made up.
1 DaveNone 2016-05-20
Not to worry, he posted enough info for Jimmy to figure out who he is if he gets his panties in a twist and wants to take out his anger on a nobody comedian.
-4 DaveNone 2016-05-20
Don't act as though what you do is so mysterious and regular people wouldn't understand. You felt you were funny enough to make people laugh and decided to take a chance and get up on a stage and try and do it for a living. Lots of funny people in the world and it doesn't take a college degree to figure out what is funny and what isn't. I know a lot of people on a daily basis who make me laugh harder than any so called professional comedian ever has. You tell jokes, you aren't a doctor or a physicist.
And a lot of people here understand business and business relationships and how they work. I understand not putting your name up. Based on everything we've all seen, Jimmy is an entitled prick and would probably use whatever influence he has to get some club owners to ban you and other comics not to hire you to MC for them or open for them. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
But smart guy that you are, I hope you understand that you have put up enough info for Jimmy to figure out who you are if he is so inclined. You mentioned Kenny kicking you out of the green room, a small detail but Kenny was a cop so he probably has a good memory for details and also seems to be somewhat autistic so he can probably remember that incident and remember who you are. Not to mention your Lisa Lampanelli story and the fact that she had you fired and thrown out of the club. Ralphie May getting a fax about a specific movie and Vos roasting you because your family was in the audience and then he picked up their bill. All small details but when added up they can be traced back to you if Jimmy decided to call all of those folks and do a little digging. Especially since you insulted several of them. So your attempt at protecting your identity is probably for naught. For your sake hopefully Jimmy isn't a gigantic prick.
2 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
eww
0 DaveNone 2016-05-20
Caught a whiff of your mom's cunt as she was serving you dinner?
2 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
Pretty close, but my mother's cunt contains less douche
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[removed]
2 AutoModerator 2016-05-20
Welcome to reddit. New users are able to submit posts after 48 hours.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1 CheetahHeels 2016-05-20
I know who you are
1 dingobabie 2016-05-20
What year did you work with Norton?
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2016-05-20
It was 2001. I was at their show on September 11th of that year. Good show, brought the place down! Hrrmp hrrr umm mph hmmm.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
2 deemtee99 2016-05-20
Jim, that you?
4 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2016-05-20
He punched out.
1 clucker220 2016-05-20
IOFNH
1 Vulgah 2016-05-20
Someone get this to norton, we need to get to the bottom of this.
2 RobotJiz 2016-05-20
I'm sure he has a google alert set to his name.
1 IHateSherrod 2016-05-20
What do you think of Sherrod?
1 Humble_is_great 2016-05-20
The OP is actually Bob Levy
3 Wok_Slayer 2016-05-20
Levy knowing grammar is pretty hilarious.
1 barrruuuch 2016-05-20
Will you promise me that you weren't at all being needy, asking way too much shit about the show? Also, are you one of those guys that people just don't like in an "I don't get why I don't like you," non personal way?
1 ropieandranthory 2016-05-20
inb4 you didn't use your real name so you have no right
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Paula Poundstone I was creeped out by. Just a strange lady. Had this weird stare. I also worked as a door guy at a club when I first started out. I didn't open for her but was around her when she came to town. Crazy cat lady type.
1 busttttt 2016-05-20
He may have still been upset about almost breaking his streak of performing on New Years due to bombs dropping near the troops he was meant to perform for.
1 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
Why was it deleted?
2 qdpbog 2016-05-20
Realized it was a dumb thing to make public.
0 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
I see. Thank you.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
0 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
0 pinkie_pride 2016-05-20
I worked with Norton once.
3 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
0 GavinEnigma 2016-05-20
I bet money "disgruntled comic" is THE road dog comic. Has a funny 20 mins, could go 40 if there's idiots in the front row he can riff on. And those 20 minutes probably aren't the freshest jokes in world. "Tinder's weird" "I don't care who gets offended, but FUCK religion" & some clever metaphor for eating pussy.
I bet when he goes back to his home club's open mic, he shows up 45 minutes into the show and makes a big scene about it so the new comics huddle around him, then he bumps an open mic'r so he can "work on his new shit", but really he does it because it makes him feel like when a Chappelle or Rock or Seinfeld bump the lineup in NY or LA.
Dude, you were the MC. If the Headliner doesn't want to pal around with you, it's not personal. Stop jerking yourself off around a bunch of "civilians" and go hit a mic.
1 MilliBotany 2016-05-20
If I were a comic starting out, not necessarily an open mic-er, and Seinfeld came up on stage to cut me off,
as if he were Bob Hope on "The Tonight Show",
I'd shove the entire mic stand up his faggot, entitled Jew anus.
He's a big enough name that he could call any fucking club owner in the country and book any night
to "try out new stuff" without having to step on a nobody trying to make their way in the business.
It's bad enough everybody slurps his balls, as if having him vaguely look in your general direction and not sneer means you're gonna get a sitcom deal out of him.
That's why they don't have Tom Papa on anymore.
They've given up on the "Multiple Papa Appearances=An Eventual Seinfeld Appearance" gambit.
-1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
Way off. Also not many open mics on a Friday night. Did you not read the part where I said a mutual friend suggested I open & got it booked. You know helping out a friend get work & helping another friend not have some shit MC doing "Where my drinkers at?"'as his opener? Maybe mutual friend thought they would get along? It's called NETWORKING fuckface.
You are the jealous dickhead who comes to a show, has a couple of overpriced drinks, & starts hating on the comic performing mentally because:
A: You are secretly jealous because you work some unimportant job and you gave up your dream ages ago so you hold it against the person onstage doing something or at least trying to do something with their life.
B: The chick you are with laughs a little too hard at jokes and her pussy is wet cause there is a dude onstage controlling a crowd of people. Or you are (more than likely) single and you see how easy it is to get laid (even shitty comics get laid) doing this. You have to work chicks harder cause "I work in the IT department" isn't getting you in any holes.
Probably both.
I'm respected by most who know me fuckface. Assholes like you heckle shows and make it all about you cause your life sucks and your jealous.
I have no Tinder matetial. I don't need an app to get pussy.
And Gavin fucking sucks.
1 GavinEnigma 2016-05-20
Yup, I hit the nail on the head.
Just by the way you said "I'm respected by most who know me", you are that annoying "vet" comic. One of those asshole comics who puts the 2016 Comedy Central logos on your flyers, but you were on Comedy Central in 2000...if you even have a TV credit at all.
Just the fact you went with the "you wish you could what I do" hack line, followed by the Ian Halperin-esque "I make your girl's pussy wet" bit let's me know you're not (to quote Robinson) 'Back of the Bus' funny.
...at least the trolls in this reddit just talk shit. You're trying to separate yourself as an elite member of this yapping henfest by playing the "I'm in the biz" card.
Now seriously, go hit a mic...by landing on it face first from a very tall building.
-1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
great fanfic/rp
-1 glyde69 2016-05-20
Some people are really in fucking Fantasy-land on here.
-1 Wobbly_Red_Snappa 2016-05-20
This is a great work of fiction!
-1 burgersass 2016-05-20
This just inspires me to make some random account and fuck with you guys. All it takes is someone who doesn't write like a retard and a story that this sub would want to believe. I'm not saying I don't believe this guy is real. I'm saying I'm not going to believe in either direction, because that's fucking retarded.
-2 skeletonghost77 2016-05-20
I saw Jim Norton at a grocery store in New york yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
4 boredgeologist 2016-05-20
why do i feel like ive read this before...
1 CookieHaid 2016-05-20
*imfetterance
-2 kol- 2016-05-20
You guys are fucking retarded if you believe a word of this shit. This is definitely the same dude that posted a couple other bullshit stories here and you mouth breathers probably believed him then too.
-3 georgie_best 2016-05-20
Gonna go out in a limb here. I bet youre a hack that norton was just embarrassed to be performing with
-3 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
Post deleted, he was a lying faggot all along! HA! What, someone on twitter rat you out and now you're catching flak?!
-4 AzraelApollyon 2016-05-20
I'm going to be ask you a few things and I need you to be honest with me OP:
Were you maybe a little over eager to meet James? One of the biggest reasons Jimmy isn't able to get a photograph, or even a conversation with someone is because he can't help but exude what a fanboy fucking girl he is.
I'm going to go ahead and assume you're either my age or younger. Why do you feel like you're entitled to a conversation or even him being nice? Yeah, you opened for him, so fucking what? Did he ask you to open because he knew you on a personal level and was doing you a favor, or was it a business decision?
-5 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
5 CelticSabbath 2016-05-20
You, don't, know, how, to use, commas.
-6 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
-6 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
3 Tippy_toms_corpse 2016-05-20
Shut up piss mop
-8 BigDoodiesBen 2016-05-20
Who gives a fuck
-9 [deleted] 2016-05-20
my asshole stinks like shit
-10 albusb 2016-05-20
Did ya?
-26 majestik6 2016-05-20
So what?
Some of the most talented people I know are complete dicks at work. They have to be. If they weren't dicks, they would get taken advantage of.
24 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
That's cop-out bullshit, you can be fully capable of avoiding being taken advantage of without being a pretentious douchbag in the process. That's a shit personality, not the sign of a guy watching out for himself.
-4 majestik6 2016-05-20
I have personally noticed an inverse relationship between talent and niceness.
As noted in my original comment, many of the most talented people I know are complete dicks, while many of the least talented people I know are very nice.
I don't think this is accidental. Many people who are untalented make up for it with charm.
There are outliers - it sounds like Doug Stanhope is nice and talented. But he's also a drunk. It's possible that he wouldn't be so nice if he wasn't drunk after the show.
2 FoetusCorruptus 2016-05-20
or maybe some people let their talent inflate their egos, thereby transforming them into pricks, while others maintain a reasonable demeanor regardless of how well they do their job
17 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I love all most of you do all day is throw most of these comics under the bus by just judging them from appearances on radio or onstage. Someone shows up to actually verify some of the stuff and you start defending the people you trash on a daily basis.
This is exactly why I have been lurking on this board for months and not posting anything.
5 brasqo 2016-05-20
I can't imagine anyone expecting anything less posting here.
4 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-05-20
Who's your favorite poster?
Also does Bonnie look as delicious IRL in her big glasses?
-1 majestik6 2016-05-20
I'm not defending Jimmy, I'm simply pointing out that I'm not surprised. He's a millionaire and a headliner; I wouldn't expect him to be a nice guy.
9 BoardroomBimmy 2016-05-20
Yeah, but what about Jimmy?
-27 Funimator 2016-05-20
Norton may be a phony worm by your account but your a humble bragging ass bitch.
There are a million openers out there by the way. My dad is an accountant and even he has a tight 10.
16 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I'm dishing dirt. I can stop if you are gonna be an asshole about it.
11 GetFitFatFuck 2016-05-20
We appreciate it Daddy, don't let him bother you.
12 aaron91325 2016-05-20
Humble brag? Guy's been in the business for at least 10 years probably more like 15 and he's still hasn't left the Midwest. He's making shit for money. He ain't bragging about shit.
24 [deleted] 2016-05-20
I was MC'ing back then.
Vos will still MC once in awhile. Gigs are gigs and money is money.
25 aaron91325 2016-05-20
What were you wearing to provoke him?
2 Wellshiteinabucket 2016-05-20
Are you a fag now that he bum raped you? Is that how homosexuality works?
9 respeckKnuckles 2016-05-20
tsss...yeah what else you gonna womanly MC or sumpthin? tss
15 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-05-20
Well hello there
;)
10 [deleted] 2016-05-20
[deleted]
4 SNAPINTOASLIMJIMOHYE 2016-05-20
How big was his pekkah?
1 qdpbog 2016-05-20
I believe you but I'm surprised. It's well known he hated the industry and the "system" but he DEFINITELY deserved to have little success if he was a dick to his fans.
6 majestik6 2016-05-20
Exactly.
There's a pattern here: guys like Vos and Levy are nice because they don't want to burn bridges with clubs, coworkers, or customers.
Jim Norton doesnt give a fuck; the only bridge Jim is worried about burning is Gregg Hughes.
2 YouAintGotToLieCraig 2016-05-20
hey.
hey.
Where's your hammer?
8 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-05-20
I met Dave Atell at a dive bar I was bouncing at in Midtown about 10 years ago. I made a comment about Hedberg's death that in retrospect was a bit insensitive. He was very cool. Pretty mellow and quiet and bordered on glum.
1 DaveNone 2016-05-20
Not to worry, he posted enough info for Jimmy to figure out who he is if he gets his panties in a twist and wants to take out his anger on a nobody comedian.
2 holodog 2016-05-20
That sounds simultaneously uncomfortable and really cool.
1 [deleted] 2016-05-20
He's really funny. But man...he is jaded as fuck by the industry. Also would not be shocked if he went the Robin Williams route someday.