Narrator: What if I told you that white men can jump.

Director: 'Opie was basically a basketball phenomenon before it was cool'.

Narrator: A small white kid from the suburbs of Long Island who just loved the game of basketball.

Director: 'He was the next Larry Bird, no doubt'.

Narrator: That was until he was put in his place.

Director: 'Opie said the N word to his friend in a game of pickup and that would change history pretty much ... basically he got a punch to the face, suffered a concussion and was never the same player again'. The injury changed the guy's personality, he wasn't the same, he became very obnoxious and an insecure dickhead. No one knows what happened to Opie, he's been out of the spotlight for a really long time, some say he spends his remaining days bragging about his sporting exploits and pretending to be a hockey fan, it's quite sad'.

You Don't Know Opie