None of you Yanks will care but...

0  2016-05-02 by McGowan9

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147 comments

Youre from england... you dont get to use a DeLorean you have to use some dinky Victorian era HG Wells shit with a lever

that dr. who, phonebooth hoseshit

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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with a side of plutonium.

Weren't they manufactured in Northern Ireland? That's the same country as England... for now.

to put it in context this is like bobo becoming a actor and winning the oscar for best Actor after winning the golden raspberry the year before.

Exactly. Good analogy. Thanks paisan.

So a £20 bet, about $30 would have got you £100,000 - nearly $150,000. Some jammy cunt out there is having the night of his life.

Every loyal football fan sticks a quid on his team to win at the start of the season.. I bet the bookies are crying their eyes out tonight

Bookies make more money off these long shots. It's when the favourites win that their profits aren't as large. It is also good publicity to show these rare cases of some winning a lot of money on a bet. It encourages more gamblng.

Post this in the Ron and Fez sub. Those fags will go crazy for it.

Along with 98% of the rest of the world. Football, the real football, not the one played by Americans with their hands, is by far and away the world's most popular sport. And the English Premier League is the most profitable and widely watched sports league on the planet. Welcome to 2016.

Why do foreigners want Americans to like Soccer so badly?

Because soccer is their Christianity, the stupid thing they were born into and makes no sense, boring as hell, stupid chants, and they're probably locked into it unless professional soccer coaches are outed as pedophiles, at which point they grow disillusioned and see how dumb it is.

What's soccer?

A nickname of English origin for Association Football.

A rhetorical question, Tommy.

a rhetorical answer, Smithy.

Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of rhetorical answer :


An answer spoken to produce an effect and not necessarily to answer the actual question. A rhetorical answer may possibly be given in response to a rhetorical question, as a sort of counter-attack in a rhetorical battle.


Do you know how many people will be in our philosophy class this year?

42.

C'mon seriously, do you know what the main topic of our class will be?

42.

Geez, how many times do you have to piss me off with rhetorical answers in one day?

42.

Do you think I should wear the green dress or the red dress?

To be or not to be.


about | flag for glitch | Summon: urbanbot, what is something?

Where you from Chippy?

It's the word British people invented for Football for some reason.

Never heard a single Brit call football soccer. Maybe back in the 40's or something but these days only Americans call it that.

It's a word invented by the English is my point.

Its already happened. World cup ratings are big and some English league games that are live in UK still get more watching on us TV. Is only going to grow too.

Can't speak for "foreigners" but the real question is why do you lot call American football, football? Kick off, or whatever you call it, and field goals involve kicking with the foot. The rest is all throwing and carrying. So it's American rugby. The ball's even a similar shape to a rugby ball. Why don't you call it that?

Samuel Foot invented the game dummy

Oh, you mean the cousin of Jeremiah Tennis and brother-in-law of Thomas Golf?

the real question is why do you lot call American football, football?

I didn't name it that and I don't watch it, but I love how it annoys you faggots when your shitty sport is called soccer or the other one football. We forget it's even a thing that bothers you limp wrists until you bring it up.

I don't know ask British people they invented the word soccer.

You have a really fuckin good national team that, for the past 10 years have done great in world cups.. You have great players in leagues across Europe and South America ..I guess we want you guys to appreciate how talented your players are, but you seem too ignorant to understand a simple game

I don't dislike it because I don't understand it, I dislike it because it is too long and boring. Same reason I can't stand to watch Baseball or Nascar. I like some excitement in my sport.

Do you think the billion people (1/6 of the worlds population) watched the World Cup final thinking "this is boring"? No... It's the perfect team sport.. When you get it, you'll enjoy it

I think it's enjoyable to most of the world because they get to get gather together in big crowds, get drunk and trash the stadium when their team loses. Basketball and Football, the good American kind, are better team sports than soccer could ever hope to be.

Watching a long boring session of people kicking a ball around and maybe seeing 1 or 2 goals scored is not my idea of a fun way to spend an afternoon. I played soccer when I was younger and quickly grew bored with it and switched to football after a year and never looked back.

Hahaha... Plus one from me. I'm Canadian so I only care about hockey, but any comment about American ignorance gets an upvote.

Yeah but the rest of the world is filled with poor people who can't afford to play proper sports and Europeans who like faggy shit.

Jimmy?

Oh baby boy, you caught me.

Football, the real football, not the one played by Americans with their hands, is -

Here we go with the fucking speech every Englishman does.

soccer is by far and away the world's most popular sport.

So what? Is gone with the wind the best movie ever because it has the most tickets sold? Most popular =/= highest quality. And anyway the percents and numbers you guys bring up is out of your ass: 98% of the world? Point to some legitimate fact that can be backed. Actually don't. Popular opinion got Hitler into office.

Anyway, it really doesn't matter: your sports boring. Like your bullshit on your own, stop trying to get others on board. You're like a christ-fag. It's the most popular so it's true and it's the best and you should like it too. We don't care. Piss off you insecure limey.

Don't worry about it, the guy is probably a toothless trucker.

It's the most popular sport in the world because all you need to play it is a $10 soccer ball or a ball of trash even.

Haha. Good answer and appropriate username.

Fawkin buried that cocksucka...

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The majority of China, India and the USA don't give a fuck about football. They're the three largest countries by population.

Soccer may even be the most popular sport in China but the largest figures for a soccer game on tv there got 2% watching it.

Bollocks. Football, specifically the English Premier League is enormously popular in India. Last time I was there, a couple of years ago, saw a knock off replica Man U/Arsenal/Liverpool/Chelsea shirt on practically every other kid/young guy on the street. It's even more popular there now than cricket.

China, don't know where you got your figures but 2% of 1.3 billion is 26 million people. Decent numbers for sponsors.

USA, the numbers are growing, especially as the US national team gets better, thanks to their best players playing in competitive domestic leagues like England, Germany etc.

Along with 98% of the rest of the world.

Nowhere near this amount care.

Don't forget the newly formed China Super league...

To be fair, in the last 15 years I've seen a lot of black dudes wearing New York Yankees caps but a lot of them don't give a fuck about the team or even baseball. Fashion my friend

Yeah India started a new league the other year and its already one of the best attended sporting leagues in the world. Chinese clubs are spending more than most clubs in Europe. Its only getting bigger over there.

Don't be a cock about it.

Having said that, I'm kinda excited to see Manchester come play Detroit City FC at the end of this month

So you're telling me that it is in fact...the current year?

I'm telling you there's a chance

Yeah, we don't care. In America we like our sports manly and our cocks clipped.

You're welcome to all the clipped cocks you want, friend.

YAY!

Attaboy

and all the while with helmets and pads or gloves? You can have your sports but stop pretending they are tough outside of UFC

Compared to a bunch of 5'4" 120 pound guys kicking around a ball not allowed to touch each other? "Footie" is for children.

Football would be outlawed if they didn't agree to wear helmets.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2014/05/29/teddy-roosevelt-helped-save-football-with-a-white-house-meeting-in-1905/

Wouldn't it just adapt rules slightly? Rugby has heavy hits etc without a need for pads and helmets.

I remember a old clip with Jim Jeffries trying to educate O&A on cricket and he was asked why they don't wear gloves like in baseball "because we're men"

I know nothing about rugby. But the way football is played has too many guys hitting head to head at high speeds to be the same game if they took that out. It's why so many football players leave the game retarded. Fortunately they were mostly retarded before they played, so we didn't lose any Einstein's.

I know little about NFL but the hits look the same to me as rugby. If anything the helmet most likely does more harm as players have a false sense of protection so don't try to protect themselves + head rattles around in there.

Not a rugby fan either. It's all abit too homoerotic.

The approach to tackling in rugby is very different compared to the nfl. In rugby, ur trying to stop the guy's progress, take him to the ground, and regain possession. In the nfl, ur trying to kill the guy or take him out of the game. If rugby players tried to tackle like the nfl, everyone would be dead or injured by the first half

You're half right. A helmet is a false sense of protection. However, the tackling between the two is very different but there is some overlap.

Guarantee if all our football players played rugby tomorrow against fat, out Of shape rugby players from england, our football players would literally kill some of those fucks on accident. Our players are in way better shape and stronger then those sloppy, tea sippin' faggots, faggot.

If football players tried rugby, they'd look like kimbo slice/dada 5000 ten minutes into the game

I played both. The hits are much harder in football because you have armor that lets you hit at levels you can't attempt in rugby without splitting your forehead. Is it worse for your health in the long run, yep, probably, but football allows blocking, which leads to contact you never encounter in rugby.

Some faggot who never played a contact sport talking about what is tough. That's rich.

Played rugby at school even though I don't like the sport bruh

You're comparing football & rugby? If you are, you're an imbecile.

The reason for the gear is so that you won't end up crippled.

But even then, it doesn't help all the time.

Rugby is just a cheap excuse for British fags to cop a cheap feel.

The Cubs will probably win the world series this year.

Yeah, I don't know. I was going on my extensive movie based baseball knowledge.

No, that was a great comparison. The Cubs have sucked for over 100 years. There might be only a handful of people that were even alive the last time the Cubs won a world series.

I guess it would be funny, though, if they both won this year.

Edit: The Cubs are my second favorite team.

It would turn Biff from multi millionaire to billionaire.

The ottoman empire existed the last time the cubs won the world series.

Jamie Vardys having a party, bring your vodka and your charlie!

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Chat shit, get banged.. Jamie vardy is a national treasure.. Well done Leicester

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You're right, I don't.

Good point. I don't at all.

How about using that potato -niggermobile to go back and tell H.H Asquith to fuck Belgium and leave the Germans alone so you could maintain your empire?

This whole unlikely success story started after the old managers some and some other fringe players had a orgy with some thai prozzies. Club is owned by a thai billionaire so he sacked all the players and then the manager.

Here's the video. Can't wait for it to be the start of the hollywood remake.

http://deadspin.com/leicester-city-stars-film-depraved-thai-orgy-featurin-1708024692?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

The players got sacked by the Thai ladyboys first tsssss

I just saw that Tottenham had nine players booked in game which has never happened. What does that mean?

Spurs played filthy.. They were desperate, they had to win.. They were fouling, grabbing, pulling back, fighting.. Even an eye gough at one point .

Is booked worse than a red card?

Two yellows equal a red. With a red you get tossed & miss next game. Your team is also down a man. Getting a red is a big boo boo...

No, a booking means a yellow card. Two yellow cards gets you a red card and your out the game. A straight red card means a serious offence and are not that common

Yeah, whatever, let's see how fuckin mouthy you are when Everton feeds Leicester City their balls next week.

Piss off wanker.

A European wants to talk about the words soccer and football again.

great

Who cares about a sport where humans kick a ball with their feet?

Yeah, well done Leicester. All 4 of my Premier League predictor bets went to shit pretty quickly... Weird season.

Don't feel bad. Anyone who could have predicted it is a witch.

Wonder if there are any stuffy bastards that did a lucky dip predictor and won.

They'd probably have looked at it and thrown it in the bin.

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Yank Stoke fan. Leicester winning means that I may someday have payoff for not being a bandwagon fan of the big clubs. The dream is alive!

Haha, random. Just out of interest what made you support Stoke? Their thriving and active hooligan firm?

I got into it a little over a year ago. I wanted to support a team that was decent enough to stay in the top flight for the foreseeable future, because it's difficult to follow the Championship here. I love an underdog. And I used to live in Cleveland, which is our version of Stoke-on-Trent.

I put way too much thought into it. It's been fun though, at least until Butland broke his foot.

That's cool mate. Respect for supporting a smaller team than automatically going to one of the big boys. Is Cleveland the kind of place you can get your teeth knocked out down the pub on any given Saturday night? Cos that's Stoke. If your women go out in mini skirts in winter, it's definitely Stoke.

Shitty weather and trashy women. Cleveland is Stoke.

what are the chances of mahrez and kante staying?

Not really the equivalent of the Chicago Cubs. We don't have a true equivalent in American sports because of no relegation/promotion and reverse order drafts. Also, baseball is our only sport without a salary cap like I understand is the case in the EPL. A major market team like Chicago or London/Manchester has a big advantage. So this would be closer to the equivalent of the Toledo Mud Hens winning the World Series.

The Chicago Cubs are favorites to win the World Series this year.

Shutup ya grass fairy

Try rugby without the helmet and armour, Guybroman.

Most English people don't give a care either.

The English love an underdog success story. Any English person who doesn't care is an immigrant. I'm not a Leicester fan. My shitty team, Arsenal, blew it again this season.

"The English love an underdog story"

Except the American Revolution. Ooooo

#minutemanlivesmatter #neverforget #Fuckyoteanigga

C'mon. There were way more of you. And the French were helping out. We were the underdogs.

Always wondered how it would have turned out if we faced the full force of the British army. If I remember correctly, they were mostly busy with Napoleon at the time?

No, the Napoleonic wars were a couple of decades later.

Ah, well shows you how much of a shit I give about my country's fight for independence. If we were smart we'd get in on this commonwealth thing. I hear you can go anywhere in the commonwealth without the whole visa/citizenship mess.

I think there were also a bunch in South/Latin America and the Caribbean because of tobacco. America was second or third on the list of priorities. Plus weather heavily favored the Americans in very key moments.

I think at one point the British had the Americans ambushed but a heavy fog rolled in and the Americans slipped out. Bunch of incidents like that. Oh, and guerilla warfare.

Yeah, we invented fighting dirty with guns.

Oh, and guerilla warfare.

There were no niggers on our team.

Arsenal broke my heart. This was their year. Fall short again and no chance in hell with Pep coming in the league next year...

Saddest part is Pep would be the perfect fit for Arsenal.

can i ask a a question why are 90% of arsenal fans blacks or arab?

Worldwide? Around North London it's probably about 70% white, 30% black and other - Arsenal fans. Traditionally a lot of working class white English and Irish are Arsenal. But some of our best players, Thierry Henry, Patrick Viera, Ian Wright etc have been black dudes, so maybe some black fans identified with them. Plus Hornsey, Finsbury Park, Holloway, areas near the ground have quite a lot of black residents. Arabs? Don't know.

Any English person who doesn't care is an immigrant.

That's what he said, most English people don't care.

You want Wenger out or in?

Hate to say it but out. He's been a great manager in the past but he's pushing 70, his tactics are out of date and he has way too much power in the club. Any other "big" club would have fired him after 4/5 years without a title, even with his track record. He should bow out after his contract ends at the end of next season, work on getting a worthy replacement in before then.

Yeah I agree... I'm hoping he re-signs for another 5 years.

Spurs fan? Chelsea?

Man U

BOO!

I get that a lot.

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Any English person who doesn't care is an immigrant.

Do they have foreign names like McGowan?

My maternal grandfather's surname. A proud Highlander and Brit.

They had the benefit of not playing a packed schedule. No way they get top 4 finish next year. Playing Champions league, FA cup, and their regular schedule...

Your probably right, but their gonna spend now.. Could have a very strong team next season.. But I doubt they'll finish top 6

Barcelona is targeting Mahrez and don't be surprised if Kasper Schmeichel ends up wearing his father's colors if Real can get De Gea...

All valid points.

Why so British people apologize so damn much?

"Why do British people apologise so damn much?" - Is probably what you meant to say.

Guilt over being a country the size of Michigan that colonised a good portion of the world and created today's lingua franca? We're apologetic over achievers.

You'd be contrite too, Pedro, if this was the 16th Century.

Once america truly fuck up the 3rd world like we did you'll understand

Sports are stupid.

Sports fans are dumb.

If you had a time machine it wouldn't matter what the fucking odds were. You know who's going to win, so if its 2 to 1 or 3 to 1 you'd put every penny you owned on it because you know what's going to happen.

You should re-read what you wrote and take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

I saw a guy who was right.

I saw a reflection. A reflection of me.

Didn't some arab billionaire buy the team? Of course they're going to do well. I don't understand what's so fucking special about it.

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They spent fuck all.. The whole team is worth less than 30 mill compared to man city and Chelsea's 300 mill

Wouldn't it just adapt rules slightly? Rugby has heavy hits etc without a need for pads and helmets.

I remember a old clip with Jim Jeffries trying to educate O&A on cricket and he was asked why they don't wear gloves like in baseball "because we're men"

Every loyal football fan sticks a quid on his team to win at the start of the season.. I bet the bookies are crying their eyes out tonight

Jimmy?

A nickname of English origin for Association Football.

It's the word British people invented for Football for some reason.

Do you think the billion people (1/6 of the worlds population) watched the World Cup final thinking "this is boring"? No... It's the perfect team sport.. When you get it, you'll enjoy it

The ottoman empire existed the last time the cubs won the world series.