Not O&A related: I need some jailhouse lawyerism.

15  2016-05-02 by [deleted]

[removed]

72 comments

Refreshing that this is the first place you come to :)

I'm pretty sure that if you're renting they can come in whenever they want. Even if she technically can't, she'll make up some trumped up reason why she needed to.

I wouldn't want to worry about that shit, I'd get one of those chain locks or the bar that goes from the floor to the door knob so she can't do that when you're there. I would assume that she would come in though when your gone so but your bong away when you leave?

If she tries to evict you because of it that's a whole other deal, if it's not legal where you are you may have a problem. But if you want to break your lease you could also use her coming in as a reason.

Again this is o&a sub advice, and I have no idea what I'm talking about

Thank you. I already got out of the lease because of some nonsense by her before. The problem is that I really like this place and I need to get her fired before I feel settled. It's 3rd floor, right on the Hudson river with huge windows and exposed brick throughout (a corner apt) and affordable.

Many leases explicitly state that the landlord must give 24 hour notice prior to entering your unit unless there is an emergency (broken pipe causing flooding).

However, if you've voided your lease then that clause would not be applicable.

I've always been under the impression that any landlord needs to give the 24 hour notice. The last time I rented, my landlord pulled this shit once to "check some wiring." I wouldn't have even known if it weren't for my neighbor catching him doing it. He was trying to to find something to get me kicked out in sure. I smoked pot & he complained that he could smell it. He was lucky my dog wasn't home (German Shepard), and I told him as much. Would have loved to come home to the dog feasting on his corpse.

As does mine. The problem is that she came in 2 days before the date she gave on the notice. I still have both notices and they both say May 4th.

Does she work for a management company or is she the owner? If she's with a company, I'd document the incident and email it to her bosses.

Yes, she works for a property management company and already reported. I'm really looking for insider schemes to turn the screws on her quicker than just the normal complaint-donothing-forgetaboutit type shit.

If you're friendly with your neighbors, ask them if they've had similar experiences. The more violations you can document, the better your chances that the company will take action.

I'm almost on that page. I'll print up Demetria Sucks flyers and toss them in every door-front. I need some inspirational music.

Tell her bosses she grabbed your peckah and said it was too small. Get her fired for penis shaming.

I would love to get drunk in a courtroom. I'd make a dramatic gesture with my bottle when I plea the fifth.

Just make sure your lawyer doesn't have small hands.

If you wanna get into bird law, we can go tit for tat.

Why didn't you start jerking off when she came in to your apartment?

Hey man go to this sub you will get a better answer /r/legaladvice

Landlords get can get away with just about anything. The question should be "will she do anything?"

My building manager burst in the other day and invoked the right of Prima Noctis.

Fornication under consent of the king or sumthin tss.

Verily, Chippah

Buy your own property proletariat scum

Can I get a loan? I'm white.

I give loans. PM me ur cock pics and I'll set you up with 0% APR if you're over 10 inches erect.

Id be wary of offers like this or similar

I'm FDIC insured, faggot.

Im sorry i questioned you. Carry on

Another subprime deal in the making.

I'm not familiar with the ins and outs of US law (or UK law for that matter) but, in my considered opinion, your best course of action would be to strike her repeatedly while yelling "this is my house, bitch." Let me know how that works out.

This is good advice. Yell some racial slurs while you do this.

For the vast majority of us in this forum, this scenario is completely unknown because our landlady is our mom and she is allowed to come in because legally it's her basement.

Get it? We all live in our mom's basement (I actually do).

Until a year ago, I did too. What's a mom for?

Escaping from

Your mom? Usually blow jobs and making us sandwiches.

Are you also as unfuckable as I am?

I:

  • am morbidly obese

  • have cystic acne despite being in my late 30's

  • work the night shift at a Taco Bell drive thru 3 towns over

  • spend all of my free time playing World of Warcraft, surfing porn, and hitting refresh on a sub reddit dedicated to hating a radio show that ended 2 years ago.

  • am every stereotype Jimmy believes of people who comment on the internet

  • not the hero this sub reddit deserves, nor the one it needs

So yes?

You should have started jerking off in front of her.

Then when she calls the police, which she will do (especially when you shoot it on her leg), you tell them she barged in on you while you were jacking off, and you wish to press charges, as you feel you been raped.

Cry alot. It works for women.

Don't forget to look in her eyes.

You can use this for reference.

Jesus that was fucking specific

I was going to say just whip your dick out... leave it to you fuckers to take things too far

It's legal, I had a a landlord do that to me a few times, until I got a dog that barked every time he heard a noise at the door. Your dogs big enough to be scary, train it to freak out when it hears something. Convince the dog the landlord needs to die.

Chippah barks at everyone who walks by the door. This bitch is fearless from the cystic acne.

Jizz on your door handle.

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She's the last person in this building that I'd expose my penis to.

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last." - Matthew 20:16

Next time shoot the cunt.

I would but she looks exactly like Morgan Freeman. The jury would shit on me.

These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.

And you're white right? Lucky you -.-

Just stab her in the chest and scream with all the rage and anger of your life when the police arrive.

If she owns the property it isn't illegal. New York doesn't have any legal notice time before entry for building owners.

She doesn't. It's an 80 unit building. She the manager. I suppose she has inherited authority from the company that owns it. That's why I need to get her fired.

Uh filibuster

Sleeping in your own filth with a giant dog and a bong is how I always imagined you people live.

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That place stinks.

Yeah, i could comb through that but I wanted some direct, asshole advice.

Does she have superiors? Like is it a big company that owns the building? What washer reason for coming in when she saw you ? Next time you should just tell her she's gona get bit if she comes I'm before you put the dog away

When I used to work in an apartment building I hated going into people places when they weren't home it just felt creepy, but if somebody had dogs I'd make sure they we put away before I came in fuck getting bit

What state?

Most states require the landlord give you a 24 hour notice before entry. Check your state laws for tenant/landlord.

contact the owners for sure

Change the locks you dummy. First thing I did. then you can let them in at your convenience.

Nothing is worse than a surprise visitor. Keep your place clean. Keep your drug paraphernalia out of sight in a cabinet next to your Bernie badges. Make sure you always have your mastiff owner uniform to hand, oversized cargo shorts and a vest. Never be caught nude again

. /r/LifeProTips

I used to work at an apartment building and we would go into units whenever, heave would leave notices for e days that we needed to get in there to be nice but if there was a leak or something we went in and then left a note later that we were there.... That being said yea for a bank inspection she shouldn't have done that but there is no real recourse for you what are you gonna call the cops? I guess you could complain heavy to her superior, whoever the regional manager of the company that owns the building maybe

You have renter's rights. Even though they own the property, you are the one living there. Unless it's an emergency, they can only enter without your permission to do repairs or to show the property to prospective renters, and they are required by law to give you notice (in most states, it's 24 hours notice). I went through all this shit with a former landlord that was sneaking in when she knew we were gone to make repairs without notice. She backed down before it became a legal issue because she knew she was in the wrong, I think a lot of landlords take advantage of the fact that not everyone knows their rights.

In California that would be illegal. Except for an emergency, the landlord can only enter during regular working hours after providing written notice including the approximate time of the visit.

Your state may have a similar law.

If you want to get rid of the shitty apartment manager, type up a professional letter for the owner bullet-pointing infractions, including entering your home without knocking 2 days early. Point out the liability involved, such as if your dog had bitten her, owners don't want to get sued.

Now go wash your bong, put it away, and clean it once a day like a proper stoner!

Peckas!

Did you try telling her to be nice?

Oh no, asking for legal advice on O&A subreddit... you're fucked dude lol

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One match. Problem solved.

Most states they have to give you 24 hours notice. Look up your states renter's rights.

And you're white right? Lucky you -.-

I would love to get drunk in a courtroom. I'd make a dramatic gesture with my bottle when I plea the fifth.

If you wanna get into bird law, we can go tit for tat.

These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.

Welcome to reddit. New users are able to submit posts after 48 hours.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.