Jimmy's new GF

32  2016-04-25 by jaghutgathos

94 comments

That's his new character Friendzone Jim.

"A lot of my interactions with women lately have just been dinner dates with maybe a hug or kiss at the end of the night."

Just shut the fuck up. New "intellectual" Jimmy stinks.

I'm sure he'll be inundated with new feminist fans, just like how the LGBT community flocked to him after he pandered to the tranny audience.

I remember he once said on the show that he went on a trip with his female friend to Cape May or some other place and he slept in the same bed with her but didn't bone as it was a completely nonsexual relationship.

Either they think he's gay, or he's horribly friend zoned.

This might be more on Jim being damaged goods than having chicks taking advantage of their platonic friend. Jim might be one of those weirdos who can't get it up for someone who is nice to him.

When you're into really insanely kinky shit for a long period of time but grow out of it, you really don't get aroused for anything after that.

You don't want the deviant stuff anymore, but just normal sexual relations don't do it for you either. You basically broke your sexuality.

I know. Been there.

I heard that clip too.

It sounded like she was totally prepared to fuck him, but he couldn't close the deal.

She probably lost all respect for him, considering he has zero game.

Jim is the king beta male

No, no, no...don't you see? He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship. He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship. He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship. He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship. He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship. He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship. He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship. He doesn't need sex from them. He is happy with their friendship.

I still maintain that Jim is such a pervert that he gets off on being friend-zoned. Like it just makes it that much more inappropriate to want to fuck them knowing he can't.

which is a new take on his old character SteppingStone Jim

that's his hospice nurse.

Reaction from the other tourists: "Aww, it's so sweet she's taking her father on a trip before he died from cancer."

AIDS*

Por que no los dos?

Por que no hable ingles maricon?

Porque no, puto.

Where are these spics coming from??

What's truly pathetic is that Jimmy probably hears the headboard banging against the wall in her hotel room next to his all night when she's being railed by her boyfriend and he still can't muster up enough dignity to accept that she will never fuck him.

seconds after they cum, he starts the Kirk Sinaman videos

And he jerks off to it.

He's probably more jealous that he's not the one getting railed by the boyfriend

If he legitimately snagged a young girlfriend by abusing his barely D-level celebrity status, I fully support him. What the fuck else is a single 50 year old bald skinny weirdo with no confidence going to do.

Yeah part of me really is rooting for lil' jimmy. He just always seems depressed.

The sense I get is that he fucked up a good relationship with Jen and has been miserable ever since.

Yeah, she may be a hack comedian, but she seems more well put together than any of Ant's dates.

and more legal

Shes gorgeous, and will never be his.

[deleted]

sHE LoVeS yoU ImMy........................... aPrel FalLs!

sHeSs aAHh WohmAhNnn oFfh llLOwwharrR sTtoCckK.

she's too pretty to be eating his ass...

Which one do you think suggested they take a selfie to remember their time together?

In all fairness, it's on her twitter, not his https://twitter.com/KelseyCook/status/723608478003032064

Do you think she has a choice? She works for him.

Jim is holding the camera.

Does she have a weiner?

Jimmy went from Bobby Hill straight to Cotton

He really is turning to Kirk Sinnamin.

You just know when Jim goes out with her, he pretends they are a married couple

He probably jokes about it with her, just to gauge her reaction. "Haha, we hang out so much, it's like we're an old married couple right? People probably think we're married.. haha...ha..."

Solid beard

There is no doubt in mind if Jimmy were to find the girl of his dreams--that would be devoted to him and all his quirks--he would still be going on Craigslist to find a casual encounter with a tranny.

r/sideboob (Jim, not her jugs)

Why are people on here pretending Jim is fucking his opener. Thats for Jim to do.

The only reason he's at the Alamo is because Ozzy once pissed on it.

What a weird sensation it must be for Jim to have someone riding his coattails.

She won't be riding them long. PC culture will catapult her to her own TV show, maybe to replace Inside Piggy Schumer when it gets cancelled, and then she'll lose Jims phone number and pretend she never knew him. Maybe a nod at a comedy club or a fake offer to put him in a project when she needs to get on O & J to promote something but then she'll forget him again afterwards.

a solid 7.5 that girl

Wow, she's not a starfucking goldigger at all.

Who's the star she fucked?

I doubt she's doing anything with Jim.

Jimmy's Big Adventure

"There's no porch at The Alamo!"

Even if by some miracle she lost the power to see, hear and smell, he still wouldn't be able to provide the rock-hard, actually-into-girls erection she needs and requires.

Not a bad score for a worm with full-blown AIDS.

60k buys nice vacations!

Not since the Catholic Church has their been such capable groomers.

He is a gross man.

if i were her boyfriend i would not like the idea of her being around that creep

When Jim starts making a cartoon for her that's when he should be worried.

[deleted]

"Call me."

Norton's pilgrimage to every place Ozzy has pissed continues.

She's an unfunny dullard. Good job, Jimmy.

I thought she was just opening for him...

... Not of the legs type

She's a qt

Look's like a job for Big Jim

What an AlaMO.

You know how when you were a kid and you saw someone who was 47 years old and were like fuck that dude is old as fuck? And now, many 60 year olds don't even look old? Well, Jim is retro old.

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Jim Trannys are looking more and more believable

[deleted]

you mean desperate opener?

What projects is she interested in doing that Jim can ask O&A fans to fund?

creepy old fuck.

She drinks unlike Jimmy. I wonder if he'll relapse and go into the death spiral of a mild hangover every Sunday.

https://twitter.com/KelseyCook/status/724658774628139009

Jim was never against using drunk girls just because he doesn't drink. Probably helps him more when they get hammered.

I'd like to treat her pussy like an old Nintendo game.

good for lil jimmy

She wants to fuck her way to the middle.

Maybe he should steal $60k of his fans money to put her in a cartoon.

Is that his hospice nurse?

Is that Gary Coleman's widow?

Hey, gotta move on from JCarm eventually.

CARMODY CENTRAL

Fucking your opener is way worse than going to a prostitute. Begging your fans for money is way worse than begging your friends to put you in their movies.

Getting fit is supposed to make you less pathetic. Sitting across from Opie sans Anthony for over a year has probably degraded his self-esteem more than decades of lumpyness.

she's got a really big mouth

for peckas

Those lifeless eyes like a dolls eyes

Indiegogo 2: Electric Boogaloo

He looks like he took an HIV test and got an A...IDS.

tss, look, it's Jim Boo-ie or sumpthin.

Man!

CARMODY CENTRAL

He probably jokes about it with her, just to gauge her reaction. "Haha, we hang out so much, it's like we're an old married couple right? People probably think we're married.. haha...ha..."