Jimmy: I don't know I never really heard his music I guess he was ME: What about The Purple Rain? When did that come out I'm gonna say '86, 87? Travis where we at with that? 87? I'm gonna say 87 Worm: I guess he was good at the halftime of the Super Bo ME: 84?!! Wow I was sure it was 86 or 87, Fuuuuck 84 for the purple rain...

love the direction of this comment

Was this approved by management?

ME: THHAAAAAANKK YOOUU!!!

Scary how accurate this feels.

If I was just merely given that as a fake transcript of what really happened I would blindly believe it without question.

I thought it was, lol.

For a second there I actually thought it was a transcript... And I'm not sure if OP is made up either.

I also assumed this was exactly what Tits said.

Lol those two have these same conversation over and over for two years

They got that chemistry, brotherman!

ME: 84? What's that? 30-years ago? Right? 30? 31? Nah...it's 32? 32! FAAAAAHK!

There's nothing quite like listening to Opie "Abacus" Hughes fighting for his life with basic math skills. Compelling.

Remember the X-Files episode of "The Simpsons"? Tits is the broadcasting equivalent of that turtle biting grandpa with his own teeth, but with the added twist of grandpa getting paid millions to not get bitten by his own teeth.

Lol acting like he's so shocked by simple facts because he has nothing to say about the situation is one of his biggest crutches.

He's always buying himself time to think of something original or poignant to say, but only ends up saying the stalling part.

ME: crazy stuff man, that was like...about...hold on...38 years ago!!!

Wow. His voice is loud and clear in my head as I read that. It's amazing and fucking horrifying at the same time.

SNIFF

I can't stop reading this comment even though it makes me want to slash my wrists.

Jesus, reading that made me angry. You captured Tits' essence perfectly and I hate it.

i actually thought this was transcribed ... but i checked and no norton in the audio ... your eerily convincing though ... it might be an exact replica of another conversation about a different singer ... or your mind melding with a fucking mental case.

Damn man you're sick.

It's upsetting how well this thread is impersonating Opie.

I know, my eyes widen immensely every time I read one of these. Just fucking uncanny.

There are TWO threads just nailing him on this prince thing.

"No but seriously...he was great..right Jim Florentine? Where you at with the Prince?? You a fan, or is it not cool?? Where you at? I was lying in bed last night wondering what Jim Florentine would think."

"Ugggggh. We get it. You're different Ooooh! Purple! You know, he's not even the first black guy to play guitar. Hendrixxxxx did it, and he was a lefty, playing a right-handed guitar upside downnn.

Mwittle Wed Corvette! Take your Barbie car... and your high heeled shoes... and fuck off. Randy Rhodes was a much better guitar player, and he wasn't the size of a 5 year old. Jake E. Lee. Tony Iommi. These were real guitar playersssssssss, alright?

Stop trying to put electric guitars in your stupid pop music."

He'd say all this with a straight face while wearing an ill-fitted Dokken tee-shirt.

If this van's a-rockin it's cuz i'm a-fuckin to dokken

He'd probably argue that Gene Simmons is a bigger talent even tho Prince is said to have mastered over 50 different instruments & Gene can barely play the bass or sing.

"I respect Prince, it was just never my thing. You can't compare his stuff to KISS, there's just no comparison. KISS is better is every way. Prince was more of a new wave act like Duran Duran or something. And KISS has Ace Frehley. Nothing Prince has ever done can hold a candle to Ace."

"My four year old was listening to Purple Rain last night, and I said 'that's alright, you're four years old. You don't know better.'"

A man that thinks rock is for adults is nary a man.

You're not wrong that his taste is juvenile (nothing wrong with that), but KISS in particular is a band he's talked about not liking and specifically said he considered them to be a "kiddy band"

I guess I never actually listened to him. I just aped other impressions.

[deleted]

Chaim is a businessman. Don't be a hater.

Gene has sick basslines

E.g. Detroit Rock city

Jim Florentine hates KISS, so he likely wouldn't.

I'm actually gonna say that Florentine likes Prince, lots of metal guys do for the guitar factor. If anything, I'd guess that Ant would be the one to say something wildly dismissive because Ant wants Prince to fuck him.

"Smart" metal guys like Prince for the guitar factor.

Florentine and Norton are music idiots who probably dismissed him because he never played behind Ozzy.

I get the impression that nobody here knows anything about what Florentine likes and are assuming he's like Jimmy, who hardly counts as a metal fan to begin with...Jimmy like three bands total, and I don't even think he likes Motorhead I think he just wanted to suck off Lemmy

I get that, I don't think he'll rave about him. It's still Florentine so he'll get all insecure and qualify it by saying you put it on to get laid or something.

ME: He's a bit mysterious. Just a bit.

Shirts vs. blouses.

Fucking Chappelle show may have been the best sketch show of our time, charrlieee muurphaay

"Nigga that was weeks ago!!!!!!"

In Living Color had a few really good seasons.

He really did. Key and Peele is decent and might be up there as one of the best, but nothing really touches Chappelle's Show.

Opie would be blouses, obviously.

ME: I go deep with the Prince... Travis gives us a taste of purple rain

Oqie was at least 18 when Purple Rain was released. He has never absorbed any information ever. Like Jimmy, he feels that learning something might inflict his comedy which consists of hanging up on people before they get going.

We just need some time with that shit.

Prince was one hell of a musician

period.

ME: 2016 has been broooootal.

Can't forget Dennis will be brought in at some point.

HE GOT A NIGGA. RIBS HURTING. TODAY.

Why would Prince be alive today??

Opie's rambling is soothing to me.

Well, niggas been tryna recover their coolness since crack stole it in the 80s. Takes a while for style to come back.