Chris Distefano is a Liar (edited into a single video)

97  2016-04-14 by DisgustingFaggot

56 comments

No wonder Opie likes this guy.

Exactly what came to mind. Too dumb to realize godawful lies don't work on people who aren't as dumb as you, so constantly gets caught looking like the fucking moron he is. Is there a way to check if Opie's this douche's dad?

Also, how many of those people who ALWAYS have long crazy stories for the radio aren't complete liars? The pattern seems pretty obvious.

Impossible to check. The Opster put up some numberssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss back in the day.

Eric Nagel, Colin Kane and Jason Ellis. Tits is by far the worst talent scout in history.......apart from Ant.
Edit: As in, he found Ant, lol.

Don't you dare lump in the Sex Bagel with those shitdicks. "The Nagels have a long and proud history" - CQ

Its like a Chippah story without the yumah, sarcasm or charm.

Yeah I was fuckin' seventeen, I only fucked three cootahs by then, but I got a ton of fukin blow jobs or somethin. So anyway this mom chick is showin me her fuckin hooters and my peckahs gettin all plump and juicy like a bunch of hot dogs or somethin

Chris Di Stefano is, as they say in his native Brooklyn, a "flapper." His stories are complete BS - and anyone hearing them knows it.

In the video, we have the same story with two different (wild) endings. In one, the Milf berates him. In the other, she fellates him.

The only reason someone would make up a wild, crazy ending is because the truth is much more boring. He probably did use his friend's bathroom. As he was walking up, he noticed his friend's mom getting ready to go out. She was possibly wearing something revealing.

He noticed it and said absolutely nothing to her. There was no witty/semi-porn banter because he was 17 and talking to his friend's mom, while a group of his friends waited for him downstairs.

These stories all took place in his oddly shaped head.

Then his dad smushed his lunch-bag and said something so cool that even Chris didn't suck all those peckahs that one time.

As per the story told on The Bonfire, this occurred in 2002, which would have made him 17-18 years old. Also, he mentioned being 14 during the story and that the friend was 20. So he can't get the age right.

As per the story told on Tits, he said he was 14. Huh?

Great video, it would have been perfect if you added a bald opie "for realz" picture at the end.

He can't even make a story interesting with lies

"I'm a raging fucking hormone." I've never heard this guy before but I fucking hate him already. Are ya?

"Ya know what duuude, ya got ya hormones, ya got ya friend's mom's titties.."

Angry Oestrogen

He was only wrong by 3 letters.

Im glad Pete Davidson fucked his girlfriend

so is she

re-edit this with a baldopie since it will definitely get circulated around the comics, then tweet it

Why would it definitely? This isn't joke-stealing, it's a guy making shit up for the story, no one but us will care even a little bit. The Amy shit also had the benefit that she's huge right now (heh) and a lot of peope know who she is, so any accusation caught people's attention. This little wannabe is a fucking nobody, if Opie didn't have such a man-crush on him, even we wouldn't know who he is.

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Jay Mohr school of comedy.

This video will get 10 views, 8 by Distefano and two by his fans, both Oqie.

He sounds like he's constantly coming up with something to say. I'm surprised he didn't turn this into a story about his super manly dad. He hates Dan Aykroyd ya know?

I'm pretty sure the first version of the story was a rip off of the "Call me Kitty Kat" scene in Wedding Crashers. She even calls Owen Wilsons character a pervert after he feels her tits.

About a year ago when I still listened to O w/ J, he said he went to high school with the cannibal cop guy, and that they were partners in the two kids raise an egg as a baby thing, and a question as stupid as "which one of you was the mom?" was a total gotcha question and made his story totally crumble apart.

he did actually go to school with the cannibal cop, and they were in the same grade. I went to the same HS as both and that much is 100% true. as for the rest of the stories, I can't vouch for those.

I believed that much, but not his account of the egg project. He broke down so easily over a question that wasn't even serious and I thought it was pretty obviously a lie.

Next he'll be reminiscing about narrowly escaping one of the towers on 9/11.

that MARK NORMAND

....BOY DOES THAT GUY GET a TON of PUSSY....ALL of his stories seem 100% authentic

I was waiting for a real life chip-roll.

oooooph

DiStefano's guniea-fueled aggressiveness and lack of shame is the only reason he's a paid comedian.

who?

I heard him tell the Bonfire version before this and just hearing that in isolation I had no doubt the whole thing was fake. It's so fucking obvious when someone's telling a completely made up story. Wildly exaggerated stories can fly under the radar sometimes because all the minor details are still there.

There's just something about the cadence and delivery people have when bullshitting that is a giant red flag. But listening to someone panic and search for an answer when they're asked for details when they're lying "Uhh... uhh... I think I was 14? Yeah I was about 14" is just plain fucking embarrassing. It's pathetic behavior when people did shit like this in middle school. If you're 30+ doing it you should either re-evaluate or end your life.

I was with you until you used bold font

Why do you care? He's fucking awful even when he's not lying.

I wanna punch his haircut.

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Has anybody sent it to him yet?

He's not loy-ing.

Buried that cawksucka!

Couldn't even finish the second video. I already disliked this guy from hearing clips of him on O&J. Now my hate is cemented. What a fucking douchebag.

You don't even need the comparison to know he's lying. Terrible storyteller. Very obvious he's full of shit.

Has to make up stories because he's not naturally a funny person.

Sad he's allowed on comedy shows.

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As soon as I read the intro, I knew it was gonna be the milf story. Only heard it on O&J, but thought it sounded a little Tucker Maxesque.

https://youtu.be/bw4WyKEs_rw?t=312

like...but like...like...like

What a shithead

He's a comedian, they all make up stories. Who gives a shit.

This seemed like more like it was made for the persons on entertainment than to land him in any kind of hot water. It is rare and kind of interesting to see solid proof that a story was a total lie, when youve long suspected a guy made up stories but obviously theres never a way to know for sure. And making up stories for stand up bits is different than being on a radio show where everyone's talking honestly and make up a story as generic as this. This obviously wont effect him at all but for the few of us that saw it it did make him look like an ass.

Yeah, I don't think the intention was to mother-fuck him, just one of the endless "hey look at what an ass this guy is" posts that we all love and adore.

Who gives any shits whatsoever?

I dislike him because he's not funny.

Damn straight, we hear people lie through their teeth every day. The real sin here is that this useless fuck is on the radio for us to hear his lies.

Its pretty damning, but my biggest question is why on Earth would anyone spend the time to make that video?

It's #1 on the sub. That's why

Oh christ, please tell me there's no one here that actually thinks that's something to be proud of

If it gets around and he's forced to defend himself he might have an entertaining meltdown, like a dozen other people this sub has set its sights on. You increase the chances of that happening when you make a video that's easy for people to follow.

fair enough. Continue.

I made it because it's just so blatant how he goes in two opposite directions and when I saw the thread about it the other day, I was surprised it didn't get more of a response. As many have said, it's easy to tell he's lying just from hearing him talk, so this isn't some big revelation. It's just a nice confirmation. But still, you're right, spending time editing it did make me want to kill myself.

They are both dicks so I am glad you made it. Thanks

I'm glad someone took the time to make the video. If nothing else, it seems to be confirmation of what most listeners suspected.

Then his dad smushed his lunch-bag and said something so cool that even Chris didn't suck all those peckahs that one time.

As per the story told on The Bonfire, this occurred in 2002, which would have made him 17-18 years old. Also, he mentioned being 14 during the story and that the friend was 20. So he can't get the age right.

As per the story told on Tits, he said he was 14. Huh?

Damn straight, we hear people lie through their teeth every day. The real sin here is that this useless fuck is on the radio for us to hear his lies.

Oh christ, please tell me there's no one here that actually thinks that's something to be proud of