If anything it's made my tolerance for the Internet and what people find funny extremely low. I'm at the point where if someone shares a meme on anything I tell them that I hope their parents die

It's made my life at work very hard. I got to uphold a professional demeanor most of the day. It's extremely hard to talk to people and not insult them especially when you work with some idiots. The worst is when one of these assholes finds a meme, or shitty youtube prank that they gotta show me and I have to entertain them by fake laughing and acting like it's funny when it's not. I feel like Anthony in those moments. Yuck. Opie and Anthony ruined me as a person and what I find funny. It takes a lot to actually make me laugh out loud.

A guy at work tried to tell me about "this hilarious radio show where they tricked a guy into buying flowers for his side chick! But his girlfriend was listening!"

I tried explaining that it's fake. Never do that. It's better to smile benignly and nod. They'll never understand.

I've been there too. Even listened to it with them and pointed out the spots where it didn't make sense. Didn't matter. I came off looking like a fun ruining dick.

Was the flower shop owner named Stinky Whizzleteeth?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_tpZf62opw

Words of wisdom, Lloyd. Words of wisdom.

I tried explaining that it's fake. Never do that. It's better to smile benignly and nod. They'll never understand.

Don't claim it's fake. Just cite section 73.1206 of the FCC rules

I explained to my kid the other day that the people calling in to the Pop station were pre-taped, and were just dropped in to sound like they were calling live to make requests. There was also a Prepburger like contest that they advertised, and I had to pop that bubble too. I don't care if she likes shitty pop music, but I'll be damned if I'll let her fall for a prepburger bit.

I know what you mean. There's nothing worse than a fake water cooler laugh. Nothing. Get outta here with your dumb Evoltion of Dance 2013 video, you moron.

The best thing to do in the work situation is to turn regular Joe on them and say "you can watch your internet movies, but I'm here to get a good days work in."

Oh what do I know? I just clock in, clock out, another day, another paycheck.

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I told a close friend that u hope someone spikes their bone marrow with cum. I'm so randomly hateful people assume I've been in a war.

They don't know you're just a civilian

Thank you for your service!

'Doughts and pray-uhs, 'Doughts and pray-uhs

When did this go from Tony Danza to Bobo?

Tony Bobo

[deleted]

Big subs are so faggy sometimes. I saw some shit about the most difficult decisions you've made in a computer game, people talking about taking days to recover from killing somebody in a game, fucking cringey.

I love video games, but I hate self-proclaimed "gamers" who actually say things like how they've lived so many lives and been on so many adventures. It's a game you stupid faggot.

"It's a game, you stupid faggot" should be on a shirt and sold at all Game Stops

Sold? They should make the employees wear it, I'm sure some most of them are autists, but for the legit semi-normal person that works there, I can't IMAGINE what it's like to talk to the customers.

The guy at Gamestop always tries to spark up conversations with me when I go there to sell old games. He'll ask me what type of games I like so he can recommend something to me. I only like GTA, fuck Witcher 3. To be fair, I'm probably the odd one in this situation

Big reddit subs are the worst things on the internet. Looking at the front page when you're logged out makes me physically ill. It's unbelievable how much amusement these sheltered retards get out of intensely mundane garbage.

Check out this awesome zelda costume I knitted for my girlfriend's son!

hahaha So true. Like, "We hope your girlfriend's son is burned alive in a vat of acid" amiright guyz? LOL

Yeah, the fake do-gooder wholesomeness of most online communities is a creativity-vacuum. The majority of reddit is adults patting themselves on the back for "being good people".

I worry that the only things considered "funny" in the future will be recycled memespeak, pop culture-crossovers and cat pictures. Not a single original joke to be found.

The problem is a lot of people really do think like this. They're do-goodness and patting themselves on the back make this vicious cycle. Trying to navigate the world when you're jaded like many in this sub is difficult if you don't know how to fake being a total faggot.

I get a little annoyed when someone tells a sad story and the next comment immediately is "I hope everything is better in life for you now/I'm so sorry you went through that."

Maybe I'm being overly cynical, but those comments never feel genuine. They're complete strangers. For all the guy knows, he could be saying that to a serial baby rapist.

You're so right. Those comments always seem to be insincere and bursting at the seams with faggotry. I just imagine some smug asshole hitting send and feeling like he made a difference when he didn't actually accomplish anything. It's the same with internet activism in general.

I hate when subs have a [serious] tag on threads. It's like "why"? Who are you protecting when I can't make a joke? If it's about someone dying then they say "have some respect". What, like the family members want Reddit's take on their brother's/friend's/daughter's death.

It's not so much protecting from your joke. These retarded redditors come into every thread with the same jokes and puns. I'm glad there are serious tags because I've had so many accounts banned for wishing things like a stillborn child on people or their parent to succumb to a degenerative bone disease.

My go-to is advising people to drive into head on traffic.

I agree, I don't go into a NASA thread to see goddamn Bohemian Rhapsody pun threads, I want to see what the fuck the thing is that was posted about, explained by a teacher or scientist so I can understand it. Nothing makes me happier than seeing those [deleted] minefields in space / history threads.

There have been so many times I've just said fuck it when I actually see an interesting question in /r/AskReddit but they forgot the [serious] tag so you never get an answer only a million awful puns from these unfunny cocksuckers.

Do those people still get karma? It would make me so hard if not only did they get no karma for the comment, but they lost karma for being a loser.

Instructions unclear: dick caught in the ceiling fan.

HAR HAR HAR

that is the worst part. I fucking love serious tag, it means i dont have to scroll halfway down the page past all the fucking shitty faggoty puns and get to the real posts.

Exactly. They should be too busy mourning to go on Reddit.

All of default Reddit is faggotry now

It's all fuzzy animal gifs and idiotic feminist opinion pieces

Browsing the front page when I'm not logged in is kind of worrying really

Therapy for killing characters in a game, wow that is some cringey shit right there.

[deleted]

What a faggoty username!

That can be a lot deal with. Thoughts and prayers...

This sub is to posting what jerking off to porn is to sex. We get to be as brutal as we can here because its accepted then we can't function in normal situations. In your case, posting in /r/personalfinance is like trying to get 19-year-old virgin to fuck you with a black dildo and call you cuck faggot.

The problem being that if you jerk off to heinous porn too often it starts leaking into your sex with ^civilians

I've been here seven years, nothing works here, I hate this place

Liar, it says you've been here one year. Fucking liar.

oh literal RearNakedGrope.

I get the reference

Do ya

I blame this sub for my recent antisocial behavior which has made me a pariah within my community

i've developed the tic that when i make a suggestion that doesn't immediately sound good within half a second i'll also say "...or sompthin"

It's a conscience effort to prevent myself from doing this. god help me

gonna get fawkin zooted dvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Chip is Jim's revenge on those of us who can't help but go for the easy jokes at every possible opportunity. I'd need a qbit to count the amount of times chip has made me look like a fool in front of my peers for no comedic payoff.

Yeah I do something similar, but with "OK terrific."

Allllright, when I know somebody is lying or being boring as usual.

I blame your childhood.

Well that's definitely a big part of it

Whatever makes you feel better.

This sub is making me institutionalized.

/u/MandrakesLeg was here

Tracking institutionalized users of this sub should be a part of the power rankings newsletter. Maybe some sort of cancer patient death pool too.

so was /u/ThankGodForBeer

Marion?

The Feels on The Bus

https://media.giphy.com/media/ueUKby1TWZPpe/giphy.gif

Erock, comment?

http://img.youtube.com/vi/AIFjdxVjeBs/0.jpg

Whenever I'm on youtube or IGN I'll type in a tame insult thinking I'm being good naturely and I'll realize I'm being extremely inappropriate and get banned so I delete the comment and move about my business. Guy with nothing interesting to say.

I've been banned from several subs. Apparently giant black strap on dildos aren't appropriate gift suggestions in /r/santashelpers

I do that too. People are so fucking sensitive. Whatever happened to a good-natured joshing?

If you look at the top non-political post every day on /all you'll notice that the highest rated comment is always something that would come out of Chip's mouth.

I love finding chip comments in other subs. Any post about a new state of the art microchip I will scour until I find it.

I just searched "chip" ... Looks like there's a chipchipperson that's a big weed dealer on Tor, lol r/danknation

That's a fucking delight

r/chipdesign

I post the same way everywhere on Reddit. I have some pretty high negative posts.

The rest of reddit is gay as fuck

says the tranny-worshiping subreddit devoted to obsessing over a man with breasts (opie, not the trannies again)

Fags and gay are two different things

Thats not how language works.

Whenever anyone makes a joke that bombs I don't politely laugh anymore. I go "oof...."

I usually do it to myself. If I say something funny (to me) and it gets nothing I'll say something like "wow, that was stupid", but then sometimes people get uncomfortable with that and condescendingly go "Noooo! It was funny! I just didn't hear it too well!" like they think I'm going to go home and kill myself because my stupid joke bombed.

If you find this sub is making your life unmanageable there are options.

you could buy a palm pilot with a built in calendar/schedule

It works both ways. If I spend enough time on other subs, what I post here can get downvoted to shit. It's a delicate task staying in touch with the culture and consensus of a subreddit.

[deleted]

downvoted for no mention of cucks or faggots

I got banned from my favorite sub for saying I'd go on a raping spree

Good to see this sub is having its desired effect on people.

peckahs

It's not the sub that made you this way. We were all defective people to begin with and found a home here.

Sounds like you need rehab.

I bet Ant is a furry

what about in real life.. how many fuckin regular joes can the world throw at me in a single day. i wish there were just cliffs everywhere to push them off of.

I didn't know you could learn autism.

It was but a whisper before I entered this 7th circle of hell

I called my sister a cunt and wished AIDS of the ovaries on her.

But to be fair that was before I ever heard of this sub.

Told my 2 year old kid to kill himself the other day when he wouldn't eat AGAIN. Had to take a step back and look at myself on that one. Thanks Reddit, I'm a monster now

Well haha.. Miss Ratchet and the.. Aah.. 'Negro boys' as they call them.. sure know how to play their part.. Hahaha.. In making sure you don't WANT to get out

That's why I don't go to any other subreddit.

I also don't find most humor funny unless it's vulgar. Some people have found my humor to be 'repulsive'.. different strokes for different folks

We've been desensitized I guess

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the only time i accidentally brought o&a references into real life and people havent just stared at me is jimmy's "Whats that? We heard you"

I do it all the time at work, it really shuts people down

I do that with friends of mine, but it's gotten to the point that if I really don't hear them they won't tell me what they said. Then if I say "no seriously, what did you say" and they try to repeat themselves I say "I HEARD YOU" even tho I didn't.

This makes me happy. You sacrifice actual communication in order to be a dick. You are a good egg.

Woa I hope you wear shades at work too, because you are clearly the cool guy.

Ill tell you what i really hit it out of the park mister

I don't wanna alarm you, but you might be that guy. I suggest going to get checked out.

"Do ya" and Chip's laugh have always been a big part of interacting with people at work.

[deleted]

Liar, it says you've been here one year. Fucking liar.

Yeah I do something similar, but with "OK terrific."

I get the reference

There have been so many times I've just said fuck it when I actually see an interesting question in /r/AskReddit but they forgot the [serious] tag so you never get an answer only a million awful puns from these unfunny cocksuckers.

Do those people still get karma? It would make me so hard if not only did they get no karma for the comment, but they lost karma for being a loser.