Someone called me gay so I made sure to make a huge announcement that though there is nothing wrong with being gay I definitely am not gay. So stop saying I'm gay. I'm not.

I don't want you all to discriminate against gays so that's why I think its super important to be nice to them. It's just that I'm not one of them. Not that there's anything wrong with that but seriously you guys I'm not a queer.

Someone needs to tell that greedy hog to pay back the $100,000 she stole and learn some portion control

Like Norm Macdonald saying how it's odd that Liberal/Lefties are all for gay rights, yet they will try and slander a Republican by calling him gay or trying to out him.

His other bit on gays is one of my favorites. Where he talks about how people are "proud of their gay son" and he talks about how it's weird to be proud that your son is sucking cocks and taking it in the ass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX_gUQeZcB8

Any idea where I can find that?

Look up norm macdonald god and gays on youtube a 12 min video

Just read that article for the first time;

GQ: "When you were young, you had a whole unusual fondness for shoplifting, didn't you?"

Amy: "Is it unusual? Actually, I think it's pretty typical of white girls."

Why would she have to say specifically 'white' girls?

It's like she's trying too hard to not look racist but comes off as a moron.

Black girls don't have the mental complexity to inspire shoplifting. It just never occurs to them because . . wait . .

She's a fatter Joe Cumia with a Halloween mask face.

Not shoplifting if they're using a gun...savages

She's clearly implying white girls go through a phase of doing it for lulz but non-whites approach it as a permanent career, the racist fat bitch.

What's the 100 grand thing? Also, you do seem a little gay.

She shoplifted $100,000 worth of shit and got off for it cuz her uncle's a senator.

She stole over $100,000 worth of stuff during her 5 year shoplifting phase.

http://www.gq.com/story/amy-schumer-comedy-boot-camp-shoplifting-black-eyes

Ahh, I thought it would be crazy to do all at once.

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Bullshit she's a size 6-8. There's no way that's possible.

She meant it takes 6-8 tarps to cover most of her surface area.

You see i was going with a 6-8 man tent.

100 MENT!

Exactly. I agree with her that a size 8 isn't really plus-size, but no fuckin way she's an 8 unless she's shoppin at the fat lady stores where they bump all the sizes down so bigguns can feel better.

I stick to my theory that her assistants buy her the size 16 to wear and a size 6 for other reasons. They take the tag out of the 6 and sew it into the size 16 and BAM fat girl Amy is a size 6.

Also I heard that /u/Ant_Sucks is gay

I'm not. There's nothing wrong with being gay but I assure you I am not a fatty cockfiend

She's a size 68? That seems smaller than I expected.

the dash mark was a typo

Her waist might be 6 or 8 but her arms and thighs are definitely 20+

Lol some reporter on the Fox 5 a few nights ago said she was a 4

Yeah maybe in leap sizes.

^ah-boo

You know why you never hear Melissa McCarthy get into all this shit? Because she's funny. Same reason Mac DeMarco has to shove drum sticks up his ass and give out his home address meanwhile J.Mascis has been a catatonic mute since 1989.

Mac DeMarco makes some good tunes. Of course he's not as good as Dinosaur Jr, but not many people are.

Plus one for the J Mascis love. The fucking best.

I can't believe she already has another movie coming out.

J.Mascis has been a catatonic mute since 1989

https://youtu.be/EHyadlNZnDY?t=10s

How come Q Lazzarus doesn't get more recognition for making people okay with the idea of transexuals? Nobody gave a shit if "Q" was a man or a woman, "Goodbye Horses" is a great song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=wJAp_fh1Fok

Funny how she's all about body positivity yet complains about being called something like this that's true.

Doubtful.

She looked extremely thin in Jim's cartoon.

She's an asshole.