Not to mention that women, who know fucking well from personal trauma, that she's not even close to a 6 or an 8 are going to grind her under their Steve Maddens.
I've started writing and decided not to post so many things about clothing sizes for the last hour bc I know youre all dudes and won't get it. but fuck her for real. I'm about 130 lbs and can't button a size 6 after a good meal or one too many beers.
I feel like it's wrong to focus on her dumpy body which can transition anywhere between fuckable while drunk all the way to nightmarish. Meanwhile her head is perpetually shaped liked an ugly dyke of a root vegetable and none of the glamour magazines are willing to address it.
Well she certainly ain't minus-size that's for sure tsss divide any numbah by her body and you'd get zero cuz she's shaped like a zero tssss tss fawkin nailed her
What is she average in comparison to a fucking whale or bus? If you're fucking fat accept it and move on. I understand you're trying to go against some absurd status quo we have in america but regardless you're still on a pedestal that people regard you as a leader. A fat leader that needs a reinforced pedestal but a leader nonetheless.
So why not be rational and talk about that in your act or specials and do something positive instead of releasing pics of you being roasted with an apple and "firing back" with such lame insults that make you come off as a 13 year old angst filled cunt. Also fucking newsflash nearly any woman who presents herself as clean can catch dick any time they want regardless of size. The only reason you're catching dick is because you have fame.
I mean even the Cumes who is in rehab right now has caught dick. Fucking catch some jokes and put it in your mouth instead of the all you can eat surf and turf for 15.99 at Red Lobster you self righteous self serving feminist that only caters to some stereotype of feminists and doesn't even know how to advance the status quo unless it's dripping in butter and was written by someone else, can't take any fucking criticism because now i'm too big in more ways than one, size king size bed wearing dress no talent having cunt.
"California" implies taking four inches off the width of a king and adding it to the length. More for tall thin people who don't want to sleep diagonally.
I just saw this story encapsulated in a single paragraph that did not require me to click anything, so I'm happy to report the issue is apparently plus size is a "16" and Schumer oscillates between a 6 and an 8. In other news women should've let men format their clothing size definitions because jesu christo.
she fluctuates between a 6 and a 8? WTF? 6 and 8 in her dreams. She must have her assistants or her sister go and buy two of each outfit, one big girl size that she's going to wear and one semi normal size that they cut the tag out of and sew onto the jumbo sized outfit Amy walks around in.
“I think there’s nothing wrong with being plus size. Beautiful healthy women. Plus size is considered size 16 in America. I go between a size 6 and an 8."
Why feel the need to still lie? Embrace your size and go cry into a tub of ice cream as you fight off all the dick being thrown at you.
"Amy Schumer has absolutely nothing against plus size women"
Stopped reading after that - was hoping this was the part when feminists start eating her like they do with everyone else who's on their side. Shit. Back to the drawing board
She was literally just on the Pirelli Calendar where they showed her drinking a coffee naked with her stomach rolling over itself. She was praised for being brave for being a "fat"/"overweight" woman posing for such a photo. She even jokes on her own television show about being fat and a whore. Now, however, she wants to buck that label of plus-size? Can she pick a fucking side and stick with it?
98 comments
58 KennethFresno 2016-04-05
Yeeeeer a pig. Yeeeeer a big fat pig cunt.
19 CookieHaid 2016-04-05
LOL: Jimmy doing Louis CK?
11 CCRed95 2016-04-05
Fuck i forgot about that, that was hilarious
8 panjshirlion 2016-04-05
DON'T LIE, WE ALL DID CRACK
12 CCRed95 2016-04-05
b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-
-1 paulrnelson 2016-04-05
-booey
13 dankfranklin 2016-04-05
Yerrr a crack smoking pig, Marion's a fatso.
No she's isn't, she lost weight!
5 [deleted] 2016-04-05
My show is great.
You're a fat pig.
10 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Yeeeeeer a fat crack smoker.
44 [deleted] 2016-04-05
How can you try to be an icon for women with poor body image and then scream "Hey, I'm not some fatso like those other bitches."? She's done.
At least Adele has a somewhat pretty face.
24 blrghh 2016-04-05
That's what makes it so funny. She's always going on about body positivity but lies about her own size.
She is going to catch hell from tubbies for this.
8 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Not to mention that women, who know fucking well from personal trauma, that she's not even close to a 6 or an 8 are going to grind her under their Steve Maddens.
25 [deleted] 2016-04-05
I've started writing and decided not to post so many things about clothing sizes for the last hour bc I know youre all dudes and won't get it. but fuck her for real. I'm about 130 lbs and can't button a size 6 after a good meal or one too many beers.
11 [deleted] 2016-04-05
I've had girlfriends cry about not fitting into an 8 and they had great bodies. The bitch is basically calling herself slender or athletic.
3 FoetusCorruptus 2016-04-05
Maybe she's just a lot taller than we thought
6 [deleted] 2016-04-05
same height as me allegedly, definitely exaggerated for publicity.
3 herpacin 2016-04-05
Bitch looks like a can of Crisco become self aware.
2 dwc151 2016-04-05
She probably won't. Her average housewife fan doesn't care if age lies. They do too.
14 FoetusCorruptus 2016-04-05
"I can still catch a dick".... I didn't realize that was considered an epic feat for a woman.
6 tha_dank 2016-04-05
said any girl ever...
4 [deleted] 2016-04-05
She has to chase the black guys down now?
1 Jesus390 2016-04-05
If she keeps eating theyll be chasing her fat ass down.
1 herpacin 2016-04-05
A halfway decent woman can offer her pussy on 5th avenue and there will be dudes jumping out of windows to get a taste.
4 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
4 WiretapStudios 2016-04-05
That's one of those lines Patrice would point out as being hypocritical, both with the sex therapist lady on O+A and on Elephant in the Room.
7 dwc151 2016-04-05
Adele also lost about 50 lbs. She looks pretty good. Amy got famous and let what little self control she had go. She is a pig.
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
29 TriangleDimes 2016-04-05
This is the picture they linked to. As opposed to, say, this one.
24 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-04-05
I feel like it's wrong to focus on her dumpy body which can transition anywhere between fuckable while drunk all the way to nightmarish. Meanwhile her head is perpetually shaped liked an ugly dyke of a root vegetable and none of the glamour magazines are willing to address it.
11 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Cabbage patch kid head.
7 not_AIDS 2016-04-05
ded
4 Macbettz 2016-04-05
The paddleboard is barely keeping her afloat. It looks like she is walking on water
5 Dark_Thoughtz_666 2016-04-05
Shes standing on top of the shoulders of the comics that have to carry her fat ass to keep her shitty tv show afloat.
23 richfloss 2016-04-05
Plus-size? This bitch is multiplication-size
12 crunchtimestudio 2016-04-05
Tsss
6 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Home. Run.
2 china-blast 2016-04-05
Take us to break you fat fucking pig
3 BargeMouse 2016-04-05
Well she certainly ain't minus-size that's for sure tsss divide any numbah by her body and you'd get zero cuz she's shaped like a zero tssss tss fawkin nailed her
22 blrghh 2016-04-05
This just in: Fat chick denies being fat
1 newsdaylaura18 2016-04-05
There's no fucking way she's between an 8 and a 6. Sorry bout it, babe.
21 imcrapyall 2016-04-05
What is she average in comparison to a fucking whale or bus? If you're fucking fat accept it and move on. I understand you're trying to go against some absurd status quo we have in america but regardless you're still on a pedestal that people regard you as a leader. A fat leader that needs a reinforced pedestal but a leader nonetheless.
So why not be rational and talk about that in your act or specials and do something positive instead of releasing pics of you being roasted with an apple and "firing back" with such lame insults that make you come off as a 13 year old angst filled cunt. Also fucking newsflash nearly any woman who presents herself as clean can catch dick any time they want regardless of size. The only reason you're catching dick is because you have fame.
I mean even the Cumes who is in rehab right now has caught dick. Fucking catch some jokes and put it in your mouth instead of the all you can eat surf and turf for 15.99 at Red Lobster you self righteous self serving feminist that only caters to some stereotype of feminists and doesn't even know how to advance the status quo unless it's dripping in butter and was written by someone else, can't take any fucking criticism because now i'm too big in more ways than one, size king size bed wearing dress no talent having cunt.
10 DaveNone 2016-04-05
Tell us how you really feel.
2 TheFatMosque 2016-04-05
"advance the status quo"? que?
1 ruffus4life 2016-04-05
this reminds me of a rant paper i wrote in my freshman year of college about Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh.
10 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Regular sizes end at 12 and the ability to fit into a size 12 ends at about 160 lbs. She's well into plus size territory
10 late_50s_why 2016-04-05
My dick is xxxxl size
Get it it's very big
5 crunchtimestudio 2016-04-05
No one gets it
HAHAHA IM TALKING ABOUT YOUR DICK SEE
1 sybaritical 2016-04-05
His dick or the joke?
-2 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Punctuation. Use it, motherfucker.
9 MilesDavisRose 2016-04-05
She's at least full size
11 [deleted] 2016-04-05
She a California King.
2 Elagens 2016-04-05
"California" implies taking four inches off the width of a king and adding it to the length. More for tall thin people who don't want to sleep diagonally.
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Yeah but just saying "she a king" wouldn't have made sense.
2 cottonsweatpants 2016-04-05
She's a fat bitch.
8 andycumiashow 2016-04-05
She's totally right. We need to stop using that term unrealistically. Piggy is way too fat to make the "plus sized" cut.
4 [deleted] 2016-04-05
I like how she takes offense to "plus size". Bitch, plus size is being generous.
2 SickleSellout 2016-04-05
I like that you felt the need to do a slightly shitter version of the guys joke back to him.
3 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-04-05
Schoomed 'em
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Fawkin zooted.
8 aprosbro 2016-04-05
I just saw this story encapsulated in a single paragraph that did not require me to click anything, so I'm happy to report the issue is apparently plus size is a "16" and Schumer oscillates between a 6 and an 8. In other news women should've let men format their clothing size definitions because jesu christo.
11 DaveNone 2016-04-05
she fluctuates between a 6 and a 8? WTF? 6 and 8 in her dreams. She must have her assistants or her sister go and buy two of each outfit, one big girl size that she's going to wear and one semi normal size that they cut the tag out of and sew onto the jumbo sized outfit Amy walks around in.
2 [deleted] 2016-04-05
I would like to think this is true.
8 ndcigars 2016-04-05
She forgot the teen after the 6 and 8.
7 eestijama 2016-04-05
She's like exponential logarithmic size
8 TheFatMosque 2016-04-05
does that mean fat?
6 opielies 2016-04-05
I'm more upset that Glamour would say this Cabbage Patch Kid reject is beautiful: http://i.imgur.com/gHrIYi1.jpg
8 [deleted] 2016-04-05
I would really like to see her fit those arms into a size medium blouse. jesus christ
5 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-04-05
I'd like to see her fit those arms into a fucking Walmart greeters vest good lord
6 crunchtimestudio 2016-04-05
I'd like to see her fit those arms into an industrial wood-chipper running at full whack
4 Prowler_Dante 2016-04-05
It really looks like she's doing Chip face in this too.
1 Z7ZZ77Z 2016-04-05
Yuck
1 winkleham 2016-04-05
Size 6?
3 netryeder 2016-04-05
It's the funniest joke she has written since she jumped up on her high horse.
1 xyniphis 2016-04-05
They did an article on Bridget Everett as well?
5 netryeder 2016-04-05
“I think there’s nothing wrong with being plus size. Beautiful healthy women. Plus size is considered size 16 in America. I go between a size 6 and an 8."
Why feel the need to still lie? Embrace your size and go cry into a tub of ice cream as you fight off all the dick being thrown at you.
1 herpacin 2016-04-05
Yeah in Orca sizing. What a lying rich cunt.
5 shinkleboutit 2016-04-05
That topless picture was like pre 9/11
3 dankfranklin 2016-04-05
Everyone to Amy: Yes you are.
3 winkleham 2016-04-05
Not sure who's the fattest, but Amy Schumer is the second least attractive out those women.
3 kevin121312 2016-04-05
This girl is a plus size model and in WAYYYY better shape than Amy http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/meet-stefania-ferrario-size-model-smaller-average-woman-gallery-1.2151113
4 NashuaDan 2016-04-05
I'd like to throw her ass some of my plus-size dick.
1 RearNakedGrope 2016-04-05
I'd also like to have sex with her despite my dick not being very big.
3 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
2 Mantis_Toboggan369 2016-04-05
"Amy Schumer has absolutely nothing against plus size women" Stopped reading after that - was hoping this was the part when feminists start eating her like they do with everyone else who's on their side. Shit. Back to the drawing board
2 stinkskc 2016-04-05
"I'm not fat, I'm big boned"
2 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
2 OpieIsALunkhead 2016-04-05
How do you find Any Schumer's cunt?
Flip through the flaps until you smell shit, then flip back one.
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
1 im_not 2016-04-05
Correct. She's actually sized Pork-Pork McFlaps (PPMF)
1 Stud_beaner_69 2016-04-05
Plus sized? No. water buffalerr? Yes.
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
1 NashuaDan 2016-04-05
The Schumes is a role model to plus size women everywhere...so stunning and brave.
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
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1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
1 netryeder 2016-04-05
I actually said "Oh Jesus!" out loud when I opened the 3rd pic of Amy.
1 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
1 crookedmile 2016-04-05
This fat tub of whale shit needs to realize she's the female Bobby Kelly. Eat up you fucking blob.
1 tranthonycumiashow 2016-04-05
She was literally just on the Pirelli Calendar where they showed her drinking a coffee naked with her stomach rolling over itself. She was praised for being brave for being a "fat"/"overweight" woman posing for such a photo. She even jokes on her own television show about being fat and a whore. Now, however, she wants to buck that label of plus-size? Can she pick a fucking side and stick with it?
0 TossyMcSalad 2016-04-05
if she can convince the world she isn't a joke thief, than this project isn't even this hard anymore.
what's next though? she is not ugly?
0 TakeMeXenu 2016-04-05
She looks like Fabio.
0 Lackbear 2016-04-05
Amy Schumer is a frequent shopper at Lane Bryant.
Comparing recent photos of Fatty Pig Fatty Schumer and Melissa McCarthy, Melissa is now the thin, pretty, funny one who doesn't steal jokes.
0 jubbytime 2016-04-05
And Grizzly Adams had a beard.
1 shinkleboutit 2016-04-05
Grizzly Adams did have a beard.
0 [deleted] 2016-04-05
[deleted]
0 newtbutts 2016-04-05
Yeah, you're fat.
0 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Groundbreaking news coverage CNN.
0 [deleted] 2016-04-05
Hey humorcow... your either plus, minus or normal. Your not normal
0 shinkleboutit 2016-04-05
" young girls seeking my body size" uhh no one seeks to be a fatso.
6 crunchtimestudio 2016-04-05
I'd like to see her fit those arms into an industrial wood-chipper running at full whack