"Yeah you know, I've been there man, I've been there. I still remember having that last scoop of rum raisin, when I decided to get help"

"I've been in recovery since I was 12, I know the struggle and the havoc it can wreak in your life."

Who is he, James Spader or sumptin?

James Spader why not James Hearter or James Clubser or James Diamonder or summin

James SPADEr? Why not James Jiggaboo-er, or James Nigger-er or sumptin'? Tsss...

I'm not going to watch it. I'll just wait and come here to get the synopsis.

Smart plan. Only way to get a fair and comprehensive summary.

[deleted]

open and honest

We'll hate it either way

"Ant has AIDS"

I'm sorry but you're a giant liar.

When is it?

4pm

Nauseating will be too kind a word if the so-called 'recovering addict' Jimmy gives his 2 cents. Anthony probably consumes more alcohol in any given weekend than all the wine coolers Jimmy consumed in his whole life.

I think Jimmy's poison was Zima.

You misspelled "semen".

and that's less gay than drinking Zima

But what about the jewy zima guy?

That guy sickens me with that fake addict bullshit.

Jim was hugged too much by his really nice married parents and it drove him to the brink.

But Jimmy called the FBI! How messed up is THAT?

I can't imagine just how huge the disparity is between Jimmy's memory of that dangerous, out-of-control act and how much of a non-event it was at whatever FBI location he called.

Anthony probably consumes more alcohol in the time it takes me to type this than Jimmy ever did.

It's actually going to go down in O&A lore as the best show of all time. "The relapse show" where Ronnie B opens by breaking up an eight ball and Jimmy does his best Jim Lahey impression..

The above scenario is the only thing that could possibly be entertaining about tomorrow.

Drunk Jimmy and coked up Ronnie would be gold.

Ron spends half the show complaining about the helicopters following him around town while poor Paralyzed Opie was forced to stir the sauce all day.

we can make each other happy

I told Dani not to use Periscope in the compound. "Yeah yeah yeah". Little did Dani know that if anyone was watching her periscope they would have heard me use the word nigger. What does she do as soon as I walk into the living room?

131 proof bud, I'm fucking wasted

Jim and Ron will be introduced as Anthony's sponsors on a very special episode of TACS.

u think yim ever complained about beer dust on the air plane

I think Deep Discount is already doing a fine job as a sponsor.

Jimmy won't be able to attend the intervention. He misread the cologne label and relapsed after 30 years of being sober due to a negligable amount of alcohol seeping through his wormlike skin.

He became a madman once the devil's brew seeped into his sectioned, tube like body.

"Well eh yeah haha... so... gonna basically spend some time in a ...facility.. on the west coast..some real nice,upper eer income bracket ...REALLY upper income if you see the prices, haha I tell you.. with eeeh uuuh some COUNSELING added

gonna be a really eeh diverse crowd there in eeh Betty Fords LIVING room haha

sure won't be seeing lot of those friends we made on the walkover in NYC haha

plays chimp noises

Haha yeah well...ah my hair looks weird today doesn't it. haha. looks kinda poofy like an afro. gotta get this under control haha.

I'm all in with the Ant impersonations.

"When i was in high school and had those 19 beers over a course of 16 months....I knew it was time to get help"

So less than two years after getting fired, Anthony is likely going to rehab after beating the shit out of a well known comedy club owner's daughter, causing everyone who gives a shit about their careers to shun him and really fucking over everyone who was stupid enough to support him and join his alleged network.

The Cumia Revolution is going great you guys!

Hey, they are all laughing at YOU

Shit, you're right. I forgot that he's making even more money now and couldn't be happier!

You hater. We all know you want to be him.

"Welll eh hehe yeah..gotta talk to Miss RatcheTT a little..haha...maybe theres eeeh gonna be some... eh..strong.. NATIVE AMERICAN there who eh... lets out his ANGER at the faucet.. haha"

Old movie reference. I get it.

See, Ant does have his uses.

using too much xanax

No such thing

Ant isn't self aware enough to even go to court ordered rehab, the announcement is that he's going on vacation for a week.

Guest on Monday was Jackie(sober), Tuesday were the two sober skanks, I don't know whether Florentine is sober, Gavin has been giving up alcohol for lent, today are two of the most outspoken of his sober friends. Could all be a coincidence.

I could definitely see him going to a co-ed rehab to prey on young, hot 18-year old drug addicts. He probably pictures rehab as some Hollywood'esque type thing like you see in movies.

Rehab is one of the best places to find some fucked up 18 year old pussy.

"Anthony I am very proud of your decision to face your addiction. Your story reminds me so much of mine, when I just HAD to get sober after i nearly destroyed my life. But I love you and you are a friend and you will come back stronger than ever after this. It is a good thing."

Once the thumb twitch vid was out there he really couldnt make excuses any more. He has a real chemical dependency and its going to take years before his brain chemistry rewires to live without booze. Jimmy seems more like somebody who gets off attending AA mtgs and hearing about addiction. For him its more a headgame. He never really had any bad things happen as a result of his Bartles and James monkey.

Thumb twitch vid?

http://i.imgur.com/b2jT3K8.gifv This is a cropped version of it as Ant was talking.

As a piece of shit addict myself, I can't tolerate listening to fake addiction heroes. Don't you do it Jimmy, don't you do it.

Same here. I have to fast forward through any of Jim's addiction Pershing's.

Do you enjoy it when he proclaims someone is a dry drunk?

It's enough to grind my teeth down to a fine dust.

I get the feeling Ant is putting on the smiles again. You've been sentenced to rehab for assaulting a woman. "Haha, crazy"

How awesome would it be if Ant came back a born again Christian and started Bible bashing for real??

Bible bashing or Bible thumping? It would be pretty fucking funny. Ant stomping the pro-life battle cry and abortions are evil!

Whichever is the annoying "I brought Jesus into my life, you should too" thing.

[deleted]

Praise His name.

I hope after rehab he will start the first show opening a bottle of beer, taking a big sip and then saying: 'Nope didn't work'.

He's only doing this to avoid jail time and get his guns back, but getting sober may be more torturous than he expects. Enjoy the tremors and hallucinations Ant.

They usually detox people off booze using valium or other benzos like Librium and a shit ton of other medications.

Yeah, you're probably right.

He is not a fucking fall down drunk that needs alcohol at all times! Jesus Fucking Christ some of you people are fucking clueless!

Thanks, doc.

I'll be interested to see if he keeps his guns; New York is pretty hardcore, and the DA may be disinclined to offer a plea deal that drops the charges (which is pretty much what it would take for Ant to keep his guns). He's too high profile.

Anthony> So let me just get right to it, I brought my good friends Ron and Jim on today to announce...

Jim barrels right in> Yeah Anthony you know I've been through the pain of an addiction man and I totally understand where you're coming from. I faced my demon alcohol a long time ago and after a hard fought battle I defeated it. I beat my need for the sweet, sweet taste of riunite after I once ran my finger around the rim of my mom's wine glass and licked the dregs off my fingers. I went crazy man, I raised my voice to my dad when he asked me to take out the garbage and actually waited 13 seconds before I did it. But man that embarrassment I felt haunted me. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.

Ronnie B who actually had serious drug problems just looks on bemusedly.

As far as punctuation goes, you're a very confused man.

Look at you mr. smarty pants. And actually the punctuation is only off in 2 places.

Its likely going to be anger management classes

You likely could be right but bringing on a hardcore recovering addict and Jimmy tends to point towards rehab. Could be a package deal and he has to do both.

Teetotalers are zero fun..

It's going to be an April Fools type work

APREHL FAAALLLZ

Fawkin' home runn tsss. I wish, but the tale of lawyer's suggestion of rehab to avoid trial seems very plausible

I thought Ant only drank shitty watered down light beer. Can you even become an alcoholic off that shit?

You can if you're a cunt.

Does this mean there won't be a live Jim Norton Advice Show today?

Every show Jim does is a Jim Norton advice show.

You know what i most respect about veteran comedian and radio legend Jim Norton, is that he is able to include little, but oh so important splices of advice in any conversation he is in. So subtly, you might not even notice it over the gut-bursting laughter he induces at every appearence.

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in the office the day the "Jim Norton Advice Show" was greenlighted.

It makes me angry that the "Ron Bennington Dieting Show" or the "Fez Whatley Relationship Conclave" got passed over.

The Advice Show. (Light sax)

If he is going to rehab the only reason he'll go is because his lawyer told um it would look better if he did when he goes to court.... I did it mself once upon a time lol

Will it be rehab for the booze or the anger, or both? And how many times will Jim reference AA without saying the actual name or acronym because, you know, they're anonymous.

Agreed that anger management would be much more beneficial to Anthony than sobriety. Take away the alcohol but leave the self-loathing, paranoia, and abusive childhood unaddressed just yields you a Jimmy clone.

Ant man, I know exactly how it is. When I had my third beer ever, I knew I had a huge problem.

Ya man, i drank two beers one time. and i had to go to rehab. i was fucked up.

What if he announces a sex change? He wasn't actually fucking Sue, but looking for advice.

I don't think it will be horribly douchey. I expect Jim and Ron to actually roast Ant quite a bit.

Ron totally will, but Jimmy will probably get on his high horse.

I really can't see this being a rehab show. It's too much of a weakness for Ant. If it's court ordered rehab it will be the "Look what the judge is making me do" show. Also, why would Jimmy show up to this if Ant was found guilty of beating his friend's daughter??

There hasn't been a trial. There's no innocent or guilty verdict. Court mandated rehab would be a pre-trial decision by the judge, usually at the suggestion of the defendant's lawyer to avoid a trial. If he completes it, the charges disappear. Ant has no pride left, and all he wants is to avoid jail and keep his guns.

That's fucked up. What if he was innocent? Can they make him do rehab even if he says "I din do nuffin ur honor"?

No, he can turn down the deal and go to trial. But then he risks a chance of going to prison. No one wants to gamble on that.

Like I said, his lawyer would suggest it since he's a first time offender. That means Ant has to sign off on it before his lawyer even presents the idea. Ant knows there's a risk going to trial that he could lose his guns, and especially his carry and conceal permit. It's a smart plan to get the charges dropped.

An even smarter plan would be to not keep putting yourself in these crazy scenarios in the first place.

Now you're just being ridiculous.

If it's court ordered rehab it will be the "Look what the judge is making me do" show.

Ronnie won't let him get away with passing it off like that. Hell, even Jimmy won't.

Ron is bringing back "Ron and Fez." Only now the Fez character (insecure, frightened, racist closet case) will be played by Anthony.

It will be the announcement for a 3 hour show with only Jamaican Jim.

EEM WAN' DO A SHOWWW

ERRY TIM WE APN DA DAWR

So if Anthony goes to the nuthut for a month, is he going to have guest hosts for his show? I think Ron and Jim might also be stepping up for that. Who knows. What a mess

If Ron and Jim are taking over hosting duties while ant is in rehab, I'll subscribe again

Will sirius even allow that? As a day guest yes. As a show host for a period of time. Doubtful

You make a good point

I can't wait for the One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest photoshops to start coming in.

The The Anthony Cumia Show?

Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

[deleted]

[deleted]

Ants going to rehab, Jimmys his sponsor and Bennington is taking over while he's away. Thats my guess.

This should have been plugged as "On a Very Special Anthony Cumia Show"

They're going to announce the Ant, Ron & Jim show too - Why else would they be broadcasting this episode for free?

i wanna say this is prophetic, but we all knew yimmy was gonna do this.

He's probably announcing his resignation, and selling the compound, and retiring with a small gig at the local panera.

[deleted]

I'm just curious, why does everybody think it's rehab? You have to remember (for those of you who don't understand how rehab works) the person who is going to rehab has to WANT to stop. It seems he has cut down on his drinking, but he has showed no signs of quitting altogether.

TLDR : The only way Ant is going to rehab is if his lawyers insist on it.

So there it is I stand corrected and hopefully he's going because he wants to and not because the lawyers are telling him he has to. Look at the bright side TACS will be pretty good the next couple of weeks.

As long as it doesn't involve any long term plans with Bennington. I don't get why this sub slurps this guy's balls all the time. I've listened to hours of this guy and still have yet to even chuckle at anything he says. I put him right up there with Sam Roberts on the useless scale. At least Anthony is interesting in a self destructive kind of way unlike that adenoidal idiot Bennington.

Jimmy is gonna be on TAC show today?! But all you bitchy and so insightful trolls said Jimmy would never be on any TAC network show again! Could it truly be, that your all just a bunch of know nothing sandwich making cunts?! Wow, your worlds must be crushed today. Don't do anything rash with that bread knife at your sandwich prep station.

Lmao it's still real to you huh

Shh. He made us all look like fools!

I think it's cute.

Ron spends half the show complaining about the helicopters following him around town while poor Paralyzed Opie was forced to stir the sauce all day.

Who is he, James Spader or sumptin?

That's fucked up. What if he was innocent? Can they make him do rehab even if he says "I din do nuffin ur honor"?

Agreed that anger management would be much more beneficial to Anthony than sobriety. Take away the alcohol but leave the self-loathing, paranoia, and abusive childhood unaddressed just yields you a Jimmy clone.

"I've been in recovery since I was 12, I know the struggle and the havoc it can wreak in your life."

Ron totally will, but Jimmy will probably get on his high horse.

It's enough to grind my teeth down to a fine dust.