I know plenty of people who have similar bodies but none of them have the head of Justin Stangel. It's like his jowls and underjaw are magnets for trans fats. His head is the size of a Ming vase.
Every autumn before curling up and freezing to death, all of the brown recluse spiders in upstate New York lay their eggsacks inside of Justin Stangle's goiter. Ever since hitting it big with Letterman, Justin has been packing on the fat at such an alarming rate that most spiders suffocate in his neck blubber before ever emerging from his pores. Brown recluse deaths are much less frequent in New York these days, compared to the pre-Letterman era; though the side effect is that Justin Stangle's head and neck have continued to grow at almost twice the rate of his body, which is itself growing unabated, but good god that head and neck..
Now I wonder how many jokes he and his equally talentless brother stole from The Cleveland Show while Letterman was too busy fucking interns to notice.
His boyishly-naive, aww-shucks smile is the worst part of it, nothing in his life should make him smile like that. If vomit had a spirit form, it'd be this.
33 comments
27 aTwinkForFez 2016-03-21
Why isnt he more ashamed of himself
3 bigchair 2016-03-21
I honestly thought that sight would be much worse. Maybe Pete Davidson turned out to be a positive influence and helped Private Pile shed a few pounds
1 HerpDerpen 2016-03-21
It's Pyle, ya dingbat!
14 [deleted] 2016-03-21
Holy fuck ... that neck must be harboring a hundred clots just waiting to cascade though his circulatory system.
13 avpersonapd 2016-03-21
I know plenty of people who have similar bodies but none of them have the head of Justin Stangel. It's like his jowls and underjaw are magnets for trans fats. His head is the size of a Ming vase.
5 Jackthejew 2016-03-21
Trans fats? Is that something A to the C may be interested in?
8 Mikeyuvm 2016-03-21
Fat Danny Zucco is the nicest thing anyone has ever called him.
6 FootThingOnHerFoot 2016-03-21
To be honest, his face and neck make you think his body is 10x fatter than it actually is, but yes, he is fat.
6 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-21
Every autumn before curling up and freezing to death, all of the brown recluse spiders in upstate New York lay their eggsacks inside of Justin Stangle's goiter. Ever since hitting it big with Letterman, Justin has been packing on the fat at such an alarming rate that most spiders suffocate in his neck blubber before ever emerging from his pores. Brown recluse deaths are much less frequent in New York these days, compared to the pre-Letterman era; though the side effect is that Justin Stangle's head and neck have continued to grow at almost twice the rate of his body, which is itself growing unabated, but good god that head and neck..
5 Jerseykidd29 2016-03-21
And a young boy on the couch.....
4 CharlieSheenAids 2016-03-21
I'd give his young head a proper tussling.
4 ScorchIsMyHero 2016-03-21
And Ant could tussle on the boys other head
3 jimmyjak87 2016-03-21
He looks like the sister fucking killer in season 1 of True Detective.
3 swanal 2016-03-21
Hahaha a pig dressed as a farmer. Fucking adorable!
2 FaggotBannedKeith 2016-03-21
Head writer of Letterman is sure quick on the feet he hasn't seen in thirty years.
2 3stepsbackward 2016-03-21
Super Mario really let himself go.
2 DontDoxMeJoe 2016-03-21
lol, "If I pull my shoulders back until they touch my tits will look vaguely like pecs". Guess again Shlomo.
2 ndcigars 2016-03-21
Heading over to Eric's to re-enact Deliverance honey. Be back Thursday.
2 Sandpiper73 2016-03-21
Jesus have some fuckin shame. No wonder they and Ope got along so well,they both really need attention
2 FuegoFerdinand 2016-03-21
Not enough dog tags.
2 DenseMan 2016-03-21
Now I wonder how many jokes he and his equally talentless brother stole from The Cleveland Show while Letterman was too busy fucking interns to notice.
1 LutheranProfessor 2016-03-21
Jesus that can't be real.
1 TakesTheWrongSideGuy 2016-03-21
Look at his fat kid in the back. Glad to see that the diabetic train hasn't stopped.
1 JMueller2012 2016-03-21
"Hey honey, guess what the costume is this weekend? ImmorTON Joe! Can you take a pic? No, I know this is pathetic and attention seekin and childish"
1 [deleted] 2016-03-21
https://youtu.be/pYDKmDEmlC4?t=2m39s
1 Iagainstiagainsti1 2016-03-21
"They're paying for it, you eat it!"
1 dejavu4thedead 2016-03-21
That's not how a fucking neck is supposed to look
1 K1bbler 2016-03-21
What neck?
1 [deleted] 2016-03-21
[deleted]
1 AyyLMAOBlazeIt420 2016-03-21
Nigga's got T-Rex arms.
1 Knightscribe 2016-03-21
His boyishly-naive, aww-shucks smile is the worst part of it, nothing in his life should make him smile like that. If vomit had a spirit form, it'd be this.
1 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-03-21
I actually thought he was a lot fatter than this from just seeing his face all of the time.
1 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-03-21
Also: look at where his neck meets his body: looks like a bad photoshop or a recent decapitation.
0 Det_Sipowicz 2016-03-21
A JELLY DONUT?!