You know how in nature, if an offspring is mutated enough it's often also an invalid or sterile? It's hard to say whether or not this is a type of natural selection, or just that reproduction is such a delicate system that being genetically fucked up makes it unlikely. But regardless, Sam's freakish appearance makes much more sense when you remember that his own foreskin was literally sealing off his own cock and he had to be pumped with HGH just to simulate healthy puberty. He is what should be a genetic dead end but man's hubris and science has potentially unleashed an entire line of frizzy haired cromagnons on society.
This is an interesting case study of the damage that a toddler diet does to a man. Especially since Sam has no drinking/drugging/smoking history to blame his rapid aging on.
DAMN, sam looks so bad, GOTTA comment again.... No lips, horrible head, art garfunkle hair, mama mia he looks AWFUL... u know he thinks the hair is his "signature mark" or some shit... so ugly opie should have banished him to a bell tower in paris instead of, what 6pm in LA?
You are most welcome sir. For your kindness I am going to hook you up with tickets to James Norton's How to be Drug and Alcohol Free While Still Being A Smug Douchebag. It's a small informal 9 hour talk he gives at the Blue Oyster Bar every Wednesday night.
Is that not the most punch able face you have ever seen. Let me just say that I am new to Reddit but know Ope and Ant since WBAB. Kudos to whoever put this pic up. I have hated Sam since he started. Always hated someone who kiss ass to get ahead. Out of all of them Sam needs to get his ass kicked.
Sam's got pale food syndrome. That's why everything seems light and crispy. He need him a big bowl'a greens ur sumthinn. He also looks a little like the tip of John Lithgow's penis.
Every day that goes by without a cinderblock being hurled into the smug,five-headed visage of genetic garbage is an affront to God, nature and the universe.
Exactly, Sammy boy is a shithead but at least he can manage to get a laugh and/or stir the shit now and again. Or managed, I wouldn't know since I don't listen to his show. No one does.
who the fuck listens to a radio show that starts at 9:00pm?
The only reason Radio shows ever took off was because morning drive and afternoon drive times....Opie is evil for putting sammmay in the basement, and sam is as dumb as he looks for not lashing out at tits.
Would it have been worse if his mom didn't make him take HGH when he was in eighth grade? Like he would've been shorter but his features would surely be less severe and simian.
Also, if I were ever that close to Becky Lynch I would not stop cumming until I died of dehydration.
Everyone should concentrate on destroying his career above all other. I dare anyone to try and get through one of his shows. His voice is worse than nails on a chalk board or a fork on a plate. According to the old Opster though "SAMs killing it " with his night time show.
162 comments
144 DontDoxMeJoe 2016-03-20
You know how in nature, if an offspring is mutated enough it's often also an invalid or sterile? It's hard to say whether or not this is a type of natural selection, or just that reproduction is such a delicate system that being genetically fucked up makes it unlikely. But regardless, Sam's freakish appearance makes much more sense when you remember that his own foreskin was literally sealing off his own cock and he had to be pumped with HGH just to simulate healthy puberty. He is what should be a genetic dead end but man's hubris and science has potentially unleashed an entire line of frizzy haired cromagnons on society.
87 FistSmasher 2016-03-20
This sub is a bizarre mix of moronic trash and well versed intelligence
33 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
Truer words have never been spoken.
We are a collective of idiot savants, savants and idiots.
19 Folken-braggart 2016-03-20
I love it when Jimmy describes someone as a 'savant', thinking that it's short for 'idiot-savant', not realising that it just means 'genius'.
11 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
He also sucks girls' wee-wees.
8 Knightscribe 2016-03-20
He's a man full of nuanced contradictions.
0 Sandhippo 2016-03-20
That's cos "we all have the commonality of language"
5 CheetahHeels 2016-03-20
https://youtu.be/8X8rM4ogK0k
2 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
Nailed it.
0 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
;)
12 AngeloMacon 2016-03-20
The upside is that he seems actively opposed to reproducing.
5 DontDoxMeJoe 2016-03-20
Odds are good he actually is sterile anyway.
2 michaeIcolestie 2016-03-20
This comment would make him cry.
2 im_not 2016-03-20
I'd give you gold for this if I wasn't a broke piece of shit.
5 DontDoxMeJoe 2016-03-20
Fuck reddit, why send them 20 bucks because I said something funny.
1 DanisRibs 2016-03-20
65 jfoughe 2016-03-20
Goddamn, he is an aggressively strange looking dude.
22 scoobe 2016-03-20
Moe Sizlack
3 SolomonKull 2016-03-20
Fun fact: Moe is based on Rich Hall.
8 Ojisan1 2016-03-20
Our little twink is all grown up now.
5 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
Sideshow Bob.
3 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
" use a pen "
55 3stepsbackward 2016-03-20
Jesus. Everyone from the show has aged 40 years within the past 2 years.
20 ooyama 2016-03-20
Say years again
25 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
I feel you but usually it takes at least 3 examples of quick repetition before I'd unleashe the zinger.
2 CuckECheese 2016-03-20
You never know, you could die tomorrow. Gotta zing when you gotta zing, ya know?
4 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
Are you threatening me?
The balls on this fuckin kid.
1 gydsyfanau 2016-03-20
Say zing again
4 DamonTyler 2016-03-20
years
again
1 callmesnake13 2016-03-20
I've got to think that Sam probably had it a little rougher as well.
47 siuad 2016-03-20
Sam in 3 years taking a picture with another unenthused celebrity: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CemPbq74osE/mqdefault.jpg
1 michaeIcolestie 2016-03-20
In other news, Ant looks better in the future.
38 FaggotBannedKeith 2016-03-20
He looks like Steven Wright's penis.
31 panasonictooth 2016-03-20
Fart Garfunkel
5 Ojisan1 2016-03-20
https://i.imgflip.com/114t2d.jpg
24 oldchunkofcoal 2016-03-20
His forehead looks like an Alien facehugger.
9 BargeMouse 2016-03-20
He's got the skull of a xenomorph.
3 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
Just the hairline.
1 Prowler_Dante 2016-03-20
His forehead is supported by rebar.
3 DaveNone 2016-03-20
Looks like a Klingon to me. A midget, outcast Klingon.
21 LyIeChipperson 2016-03-20
http://i.imgur.com/RHARlOf.jpg
18 TheAmazingPearl 2016-03-20
Sam has scurvy.
8 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
You don't think you get your vitamin C from eating like a 9 year old?
17 CertifiedBA 2016-03-20
Oh Becky, I love you so, step away from the malnourished gorilla.
0 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
Who this bitch?
3 CertifiedBA 2016-03-20
Becky Lynch, WWE wrestler
4 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
She's a sweet lady
1 DickAction 2016-03-20
The pretty lady is Becky Lynch, a 29 year old wrestler for the WWE. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Becky_Lynch
2 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
You're a good boy. I haven't ejaculated in 4 days so my erection says to give you a 😗.
;)
0 CuckECheese 2016-03-20
Hey thanks for sharing!
0 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
No problem
-2 baraksobamas 2016-03-20
Some ugly footed ging.
17 liberterrorism 2016-03-20
This what happens when you eat nothing but chicken fingers and fish sticks.
2 CharlieSheenAids 2016-03-20
And elios pizza
1 liberterrorism 2016-03-20
This is an interesting case study of the damage that a toddler diet does to a man. Especially since Sam has no drinking/drugging/smoking history to blame his rapid aging on.
13 Folmz 2016-03-20
https://imgur.com/a/q7uSQ
2 sheba_sheba 2016-03-20
you tuning son of a bitch
1 Folmz 2016-03-20
http://youtu.be/swwjTfdOjo4
2 sheba_sheba 2016-03-20
sounds like a number one hit tune!
1 Folmz 2016-03-20
I told you three times already! The laws on my side! I play cards with J.D. Shelnut! Chief of po-lice! So you can kiss my ass!
2 DanisRibs 2016-03-20
I could use me another couple cans of that potted meat if ya got any extree
1 Folmz 2016-03-20
To call the police you push 9. 1. 1. Just tell them to bring an ambulance, or a hearst.
12 muhdikyo 2016-03-20
poor sam. the one thing he has going for him was his afro and now hes looking at male pattern baldness clown look.
11 Usoland 2016-03-20
Let's remember this man lacks the bold audacity to take his first sip of beer.
15 dankfranklin 2016-03-20
"I just need to be in control at all times."
Fuck off clown-haired balloon-dicked faggot.
9 DaveNone 2016-03-20
He got scared by the terrifying stories of what happened that wild summer when Jimmy took a sip of his mothers Roy Rogers when she wasn't looking.
7 Mouthful_of_cum 2016-03-20
Ew did he really say that
7 dankfranklin 2016-03-20
Yeah, that was his reasoning for never trying any substances. It's one step above "I'm already crazy enough."
1 proto000 2016-03-20
he also doesn't have a palette that goes past chicken fingers and mac & cheese.
10 AssMcPlay 2016-03-20
oh fuck! he looks terrible. Nigga that aint a forhead, thats a FIVEhead, shiiiiit....
7 booderdooders 2016-03-20
Got a nigga... ribs hurtin' today!
6 DaveNone 2016-03-20
Got a nigga... ribs hurtin' today!........Dani Golightly, December 2015
Credit your sources dammit!!!
10 Shotguncake 2016-03-20
Now we know why Sam's Mother was saving his haircuts in Tupperware.
8 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
I want to kick the hair into her asshole even more now after seeing this photo.
10 AssMcPlay 2016-03-20
DAMN, sam looks so bad, GOTTA comment again.... No lips, horrible head, art garfunkle hair, mama mia he looks AWFUL... u know he thinks the hair is his "signature mark" or some shit... so ugly opie should have banished him to a bell tower in paris instead of, what 6pm in LA?
10 Sandpiper73 2016-03-20
Kevin Pollack rules
9 thrillated 2016-03-20
Of all the dramatic things I've ever seen!...
9 TedChrist 2016-03-20
It's hard to believe they're the same species
8 PharoahFaucet 2016-03-20
Sam has a mild case of Rocky Dennis… he needs to run from cameras
2 rahtin 2016-03-20
HGH will do that.
2 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
HighpitchedGreggHughes?
2 DaveNone 2016-03-20
HomosexualGreggHughes
0 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
Ok thanks
2 DaveNone 2016-03-20
You are most welcome sir. For your kindness I am going to hook you up with tickets to James Norton's How to be Drug and Alcohol Free While Still Being A Smug Douchebag. It's a small informal 9 hour talk he gives at the Blue Oyster Bar every Wednesday night.
3 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
Ok thanks
6 Sicboy69 2016-03-20
He's a goddamn monster
6 aprosbro 2016-03-20
Sam has eyebrows like my fucking grandfather.
5 TakeMeXenu 2016-03-20
She looks like she's being anally raped with a traffic cone.
5 Popblawo 2016-03-20
Scrotum head
5 imcrapyall 2016-03-20
Charlie Kaufman's twin brother Donald didn't die, he went on to become Sam Roberts.
5 lizardinthestuffbox 2016-03-20
Is that dean Ambrose?
9 thrillated 2016-03-20
Sam's the lunatic cringe
4 sanfrancisco69er 2016-03-20
Sam looks like his immune system is strongly trying to reject aging.
4 0JRB19690 2016-03-20
Juiced up sissy
4 Sandpiper73 2016-03-20
Is that not the most punch able face you have ever seen. Let me just say that I am new to Reddit but know Ope and Ant since WBAB. Kudos to whoever put this pic up. I have hated Sam since he started. Always hated someone who kiss ass to get ahead. Out of all of them Sam needs to get his ass kicked.
1 [deleted] 2016-03-20
[removed]
4 Scarberg 2016-03-20
He looks like Jon from Garfield.
3 DaveNone 2016-03-20
Only less manly.
3 pino5588 2016-03-20
He needs to get some comb over tips from the Opster.
3 theantarctica 2016-03-20
He might be the most fucked up looking out of the bunch.
3 [deleted] 2016-03-20
Might be?
10 theantarctica 2016-03-20
It's tough to give it to him over the monstrosity that is Justin Stangle.
3 Mitchull 2016-03-20
No, that's Roland. Sam's close, though.
3 TheSweetSniff 2016-03-20
Sam's got pale food syndrome. That's why everything seems light and crispy. He need him a big bowl'a greens ur sumthinn. He also looks a little like the tip of John Lithgow's penis.
3 [deleted] 2016-03-20
What a fuckin' ghoul.
3 Cullen396 2016-03-20
Why is this old man trying to dress young.
3 SteakSauce66 2016-03-20
I'm drunk but is that Becky Lunch from WWE?
14 FukinPeckas 2016-03-20
Earl, I'm starvin'. We got any Becky Lunch back there?
11 yankee4357 2016-03-20
Fresh out, boss.
3 VirtuaMcPolygon 2016-03-20
He really needs to shave that Sh*t off and become the deformed gene spliced Christian Bale.
3 clucker220 2016-03-20
He's turning into Bizarro Anthony.
3 Sandpiper73 2016-03-20
The only thing worse than that face is his voice.
3 FloggingTheHorses 2016-03-20
Looks like Karl Pilkington, but even more Neanderthal-esque.
3 Knightscribe 2016-03-20
Every day that goes by without a cinderblock being hurled into the smug,five-headed visage of genetic garbage is an affront to God, nature and the universe.
3 herpacin 2016-03-20
He has a head shape like those aliens from that Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull movie.
2 [deleted] 2016-03-20
he's hover-cupping his hands
2 PeckaSucka 2016-03-20
Sams going to look like Cumia in 10 years.
4 dooogie 2016-03-20
Which is pretty remarkable considering the fact that he doesn't drink.
2 LevStrauss 2016-03-20
Wow, that was a great photoshop job by somebody.
2 Lish_fips89 2016-03-20
Sam Roberts looks like Roger Staubach.
2 Stuper_man03 2016-03-20
The forum should turn to ruining this guy's career above any of it's recent targets. Talentless...arrogant...jackass.
5 methadoner 2016-03-20
Fuck that, sarcasm on that level is talent. Plus, he can take a little ribbing, unlike the rest of our heroes.
4 thrillated 2016-03-20
Exactly, Sammy boy is a shithead but at least he can manage to get a laugh and/or stir the shit now and again. Or managed, I wouldn't know since I don't listen to his show. No one does.
1 methadoner 2016-03-20
haha, I listened until about the time it moved to nights. I liked it okay, just not in the car as much as I used to be.
2 RaiderRush2112 2016-03-20
who is she?
2 LightBulbExpert 2016-03-20
Well at least he doesn't have an alien looking weird body so it balances out.
2 chris2webby 2016-03-20
is that Becky Lynch? I'd let her beat me up anyday :)
who am I kidding, she'd kick my ass without me letting her
2 kevin121312 2016-03-20
is that a baldopie pic?
2 CharlieSheenAids 2016-03-20
He has the perfect face for radio
2 opieanthonyjim 2016-03-20
Sam's hairline is receding really badly.
1 Redditterbot 2016-03-20
is this real life?
1 [deleted] 2016-03-20
[deleted]
1 hwhitetrash3 2016-03-20
JUST
1 TheFans4Life 2016-03-20
god damn
1 [deleted] 2016-03-20
[deleted]
1 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
Hi Sam!
1 Anonox 2016-03-20
Excellent thread title.
1 Sandpiper73 2016-03-20
Is anyone really listening to his shit show?? In October he and Ope should start a show "Tits and Fros in the morning". Just spitballing here!!
1 Sippycupofpee 2016-03-20
who the fuck listens to a radio show that starts at 9:00pm?
The only reason Radio shows ever took off was because morning drive and afternoon drive times....Opie is evil for putting sammmay in the basement, and sam is as dumb as he looks for not lashing out at tits.
1 primal_orgasm 2016-03-20
What a creepy looking dude. Who's the whore?
1 NoirMagieGateau 2016-03-20
A female wrestler.
1 Sippycupofpee 2016-03-20
I saw this on Twitter and thought he was trying to do a goofy pose. Now I just think he is a scrambled mess.
1 RacistPigeon 2016-03-20
Wow Opie jr looks like a mutated piece of dogshit.
1 baraksobamas 2016-03-20
No, thats how she always looks.
1 shinkleboutit 2016-03-20
That forehead tho.
1 brmlb 2016-03-20
ugh. He is grotesque.
1 Ellenberg88 2016-03-20
Jesus Christ! He's turning into Klaus Nomi... Lets hope they meet similar ends.
1 [deleted] 2016-03-20
[deleted]
1 DenseMan 2016-03-20
Would it have been worse if his mom didn't make him take HGH when he was in eighth grade? Like he would've been shorter but his features would surely be less severe and simian.
Also, if I were ever that close to Becky Lynch I would not stop cumming until I died of dehydration.
1 lightmeup8 2016-03-20
Jesus, I don't know why I read this horribly mean and downright cruel shit. And I don't know why I laugh. I hate you
0 [deleted] 2016-03-20
[deleted]
18 Doctor_Peckhaz 2016-03-20
I fucked her, she was all like 'come fuck me again' and i was all like 'naw babe'.
12 Popblawo 2016-03-20
Were you fawkin busy or sumtin?
6 languishinvagaries 2016-03-20
you couldn't be more rock and roll
8 eddiebaby 2016-03-20
Becky lynch
14 ArkL 2016-03-20
Ant's favorite wrestler!
0 blackirishlad 2016-03-20
he needs to shave that pube shit immediately and claim that he's Will Patton
0 invisible760 2016-03-20
I hate him. He has no redeeming qualities. The world is worse off for him being here.
2 Stuper_man03 2016-03-20
I agree...this pinhead pisses me off way worse than anyone else this forum torments.
0 kevin121312 2016-03-20
I'm getting a Todd Pettingil vibe with Sam. Old guy trying to be hip with his clothes, but badly balding.
-1 dakkar1 2016-03-20
nothing riles my hate more than this fucking nigger cocksucker! goddamn i hate his fucking guts.
-3 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
Who is this bitch?
2 DickAction 2016-03-20
The pretty lady is Becky Lynch, a 29 year old wrestler for the WWE. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Becky_Lynch
2 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-20
Nice. I'd give her a smooch.
-4 Sandpiper73 2016-03-20
Everyone should concentrate on destroying his career above all other. I dare anyone to try and get through one of his shows. His voice is worse than nails on a chalk board or a fork on a plate. According to the old Opster though "SAMs killing it " with his night time show.
-7 IggysGlove 2016-03-20
She's a very sexy looking woman till you see how flat and square her ass is.
I bet Sammy has juicer buns.
3 [deleted] 2016-03-20
Might be?
3 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
Ok thanks
3 Mitchull 2016-03-20
No, that's Roland. Sam's close, though.
0 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-20
No problem