Went to Bonnie's "Unmasked" last night, JUST A TASTE of what I saw...
79 2016-03-16 by Ijp5
Opie and Lynsi were there. Tits had two green apple martinis, while Lynsi (as I type it out, I can't believe that's actually how someone spells their name) stuck to Brooklyn Lagers. I did a goddamned triple take when I saw it. She's the man in that relationship. While Lyns laughed when things got funny, Tits was eerily silent and straight-faced, staring at his phone much of the show. He seems like a slow child. They were seated at a table consisting of all women that seemed to be all Lynsi's friends.
Big A was seated at the table next to me. He really should go by Both Halves of a Hulk Face. 10/10 as hideous IRL. The stutter and laugh were both in full creep effect.
Vos was there, signature fedora and all. I got brought up to "get my copy of the book signed" on the show, and then they expected me to have a question to ask, which I surely didn't. I said something shitty about Vos which got three chuckles from the audience and Bonnie and Ronnie (in the morning!) appropriately mocked my lack of content and funny (as well as my wonderful fashion sense). Vos proceeded to come up and repeat my line with disgust in his voice. What a treat.
And Voshhhhh sold his CDs out of a little kiosk upstairs as Bonnie signed free books. He looked like a little Jewish Oscar the Grouch. And he plugged Magoobys with a toothy chuckle, so this place seems to have an effect, at least on our favorite shame of a Jew.
Bonnie was funny, but the takeaway really was the Opester's love of neon green cocktails. Oh, and Peckahs.
102 comments
36 CharlieSheenAids 2016-03-16
holy shit if this is legit.
tits is such a midori-drinking faggot fucking bitch. I only had one apple-tini in my life and that was to wash down the taste of cum when i tried swallowing for the first time...
9 Ijp5 2016-03-16
I tried getting a pic but it was pretty dark and all I got was a blur. Had to be stealthy because they had a no recording policy, but obviously Tits raised his phone high to get a good pic of the stage.
If you listen when it drops, Vos also mocked my hair. In my defense, I'd had a beanie on all day and it was quite the mess. Weird little observation, but when I looked over at the Opester after that, he had put his beanie on. Self conscious much?
5 late_50s_why 2016-03-16
hows lynux looking these days? would u call her a milf of the day?
17 Ijp5 2016-03-16
She's fuckable but bland. No body on her, and her face isn't anything to write home about. Bonnie's more physically attractive, and then the funny just brings it on home. Tits may be richer than Vos (tssss), but he sure could've picked a far more attractive or interesting golddigger. I was hoping to get a shot of her, considering the dearth of pics beyond that wedding birdflip, but she honestly doesn't look much different.
2 late_50s_why 2016-03-16
thx for the update bro its so strange that she only got those 2 pics from the wedding on the internet. no social media account and no friends that would upload pics with her in it
16 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-16
Perhaps she's more intelligent than opie.
4 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
lol
2 magnEATto 2016-03-16
Someone posted a whole slew of Lynsi pics on this /r/ some time ago. Last year I think. A lot of stuff that seemed to have come from someones personal social media account. They took it down cause they feared Opie or the mods would've shut this place down over it, meanwhile they weren't graphic at all. Just a lot of pictures of her out to dinner with Opie and random people. Some from the rehearsal dinner I think.
1 check_checkerson 2016-03-16
Can I have the link to the album please
1 Infamous_P_I_G 2016-03-16
There are more pics, I am sure someone can link them up. They are from the wedding recitals or some shit.
1 methadoner 2016-03-16
I'd upvote twice for the sweet Rich pun if I could. Homerun, cawksuckah!
-4 TotallyNotObsi 2016-03-16
Now you're just lying. Bonnie is not more attractive than Lynsi.
6 tranthonycumiashow 2016-03-16
Yes she is, Opie.
1 TotallyNotObsi 2016-03-16
She's a beautiful woman. Sniff.
6 methadoner 2016-03-16
You guys talking shit about my chick?
3 destinyaltboy 2016-03-16
Lynsi looks like a fuck doll. Bonnie is hot as fuck.
3 TotallyNotObsi 2016-03-16
Bonnie is okay.
1 jizzajam 2016-03-16
Seen bonnie twice in person. Not hot as fuck.
2 Wsallgood 2016-03-16
Her body probably went downhill after pumping out the two river kids.
1 danimalplanimal 2016-03-16
Don't you just wish you were the rebel Opie is?
8 FrunkisOA 2016-03-16
Call me, we... need to talk. It wasn't Charlie Sheen
3 CharlieSheenAids 2016-03-16
it was you?
4 TotallyNotObsi 2016-03-16
It's always been me Mr. Sheen.
4 ThrowawayGirlLaLaLa 2016-03-16
Tony's the little boy who cums in my mouth.
3 AntsCamera 2016-03-16
That is the only situation where it is acceptable to drink one of those.
2 CharlieSheenAids 2016-03-16
Precisely.
1 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-16
Without a doubt.
2 Ijp5 2016-03-16
I'm about half the Opester's age and I can't remember the last time I had one of those liquid jolly ranchers, much less two in a row.
2 KnickedUp 2016-03-16
Anymore than 2 and Lynsi becomes a babysitter..
24 AntsCamera 2016-03-16
I want this to be real so bad that I will assume it is.
20 Ijp5 2016-03-16
Listen when it drops. Unless they edit me out, which they might, because the bit stunk. Chris Stanley is large, sweaty and easily confused. Vos spoke for too long and Ronnie mocked him for it. And I was quite the eager Eddie when I realized I could report the Opie drink situation to you fine fellas.
4 chris2webby 2016-03-16
how are we going to listen to you when we don't know what you said?
13 Ijp5 2016-03-16
I thanked Bonnie for "keeping Rich off the streets." That's the line he repeated back in disgust when he ran onstage. I was the only fan brought up, even though when the producer guy who asked me if I wanted to get my book signed, it seemed like there would be more people. Also, Ron got freaked out when I stepped up on the stage and said I was lumbering over them.
7 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-16
Were you lumbering like an oaf sir?
9 Ijp5 2016-03-16
While I may not have had the most charismatic stage presence, I wasn't as sweaty and confused as one young Christopher Stanley.
2 blackirishlad 2016-03-16
i don't think any human being could be
3 Brawndo91 2016-03-16
"Keeping rish off the shreetsh..."
3 kumia_kinte 2016-03-16
That hack heard a line he's never said and HAD to run on stage to say it after you did.
2 KnickedUp 2016-03-16
was Ron very "fat old towne french grandma" looking in person? Or is that just in photos?
3 Ijp5 2016-03-16
He's quite the large man. Also very sweaty, but far less confused/more confident than his lackey. Also, yes, he does have that stringy haired thing going on and that old world face. He did a good job with the interview. Was hoping for one of his excellent subtweet-esque shots, but it was Bonnie's night.
1 [deleted] 2016-03-16
[deleted]
6 sineb 2016-03-16
For real, you can't just casually drop "peckas" at the end like that.
8 Ijp5 2016-03-16
IDGAC
20 yzyman 2016-03-16
This is complete fan fiction gossip. A late night event and girl drinks? The man has two kids and a love for hard grapefruit beer for godsake. Those are just two holes in this fantasy of yours. Stop wasting our time you sick fuck.
18 IggysGlove 2016-03-16
Opie doesn't understand humor. He was probably confused by the entire thing.
You should have hit on lynsi. Cause if there's one thing we know for sure, lynsi gets fucked on the reg. And soft dicked opie ain't doing it.
8 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-16
I bet Lyns gets off on her bulls degrading her like a whore, spitting in her mouth and getting donkey punched to cum because of her pent up Opester shame.
7 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
Thank you, I was struggling to finish.
5 tranthonycumiashow 2016-03-16
Meanwhile she secretly smirks whenever Opie calls Hudson his "son" because even though Opie is there, he isn't the biological father.
2 DeclanGunn 2016-03-16
Yes, it's really the least you could do, to offer her a load or two of your superior skateboard seed. Tell her that you won the kick flippery contest at the 2003 X games, that'll get her going.
15 Ant_Sucks 2016-03-16
If Opie and Lynsi were there, who was looking after the kids? (here's the set up folks!)
16 chris2webby 2016-03-16
Bam Margera
6 tranthonycumiashow 2016-03-16
Correction, Bam was looking after his own kids.
8 stevex42 2016-03-16
You say that as if they aren't being raised by a caretaker even when Opie and Lynsi are there.
7 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-16
I am convinced the cleaning lady / nanny lays Opie's clothes out for him everyday before work.
5 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
Do you ever feel a bit bad about how we all say that Opie's children aren't his own? We're saying the worst thing possible about a man who's also aging, balding and has a pair of tits.
Poor Opie.
3 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-16
Never.
3 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
You're a monster.
3 Tom_Stall 2016-03-16
Their father... Bam Magera... who fucked Lynsi... and continues to fuck Lynsi to this day... on a regular basis... as they laugh at how pathetic Tits is.
11 HookerMouth82 2016-03-16
"Both Halves of a Hulk Face" almost made me spit out my breakfast beer.
10 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
Poor Lady Di.
1 [deleted] 2016-03-16
[deleted]
11 nomorecompromise 2016-03-16
You think the Psycho waits until Lynz falls asleep then sneaks a Brooklyn Lager out of the fridge just to see what it tastes like? He tiptoes through the kitchen at 1:45 AM, creaks open the fridge door, and slowly slides out a Lager hoping not to clang any of the others on the way out. He can barely contain his pre-teen excitement as he quietly creeps into a the guest bathroom and cracks open the lid. "1....2......3!" He counts down as he takes a sip. Invoking a sour face reaction, he can barely swallow even a small amount of genuine, non-fruit flavored, lager. "Grossss" he gasps with a mischievous giggle and dumps the rest down the sink.
9 Dennyislife 2016-03-16
Opie was studying comedy Sir.
Opie said he saw Jim outside and shouted to him but Jimmy just walked on past.
6 Ijp5 2016-03-16
His blank stare while literally the entire room was enjoying themselves was simultaneously confounding and comforting.
8 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-16
You might have missed an opportunity to pretend to be a huge opie fan and trick him into a conversation where he spilled shit about the stangles. Or John Wilkes Booth him.
1 countfrightenstein 2016-03-16
Wow, that says a lot about him and explains his inability to be funny.
7 aprosbro 2016-03-16
unmast
7 EYE8OPIE 2016-03-16
Opie and Lynsi were Exec Producers on "Women Arent Funny", VIP Section no doubt
2 ooyama 2016-03-16
Very generous of "Lyns" to contribute some of her hard earned money.
1 DeclanGunn 2016-03-16
Taking skateboard cock for a share of the Jackass riches and a mild measure of celebrity status is nothing to ridicule, thank you very much.
5 majestik6 2016-03-16
Opie couldn't tear himself away from Twitter?
TIL that my favorite radio show hosts have turned into teenage girls.
4 FrunkisOA 2016-03-16
Too bad you couldn't get a picture of that. Funny mental picture though. A goddamn spy camera with some video would have had this sub jacking off for weeks.
4 RonSwansonsCabin 2016-03-16
I see Big A at literally all events even slightly related to O&J/A and Bennington. For a while I thought he was working with them, the network, or the clubs/promoters somehow. But he's probably just a half-human hanger-on.
5 Ijp5 2016-03-16
Most definitely an ogre-leech. He was showing off pictures he got with Sal Vulcano after some show to his (female, surprised me) guest. We were packed in pretty tight around the tables, so I felt bad for the folks that had to share a small bench with the beast. Part of me was hoping he'd attack Opie in a blind rage.
1 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
hahaha rips his left tit off swings him around by the other one. All the while Opie's hair is pushed back by the force generated revealing to all his shameful baby hair.
hahahahhahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!
3 cpraed 2016-03-16
and you failed to record tits the entire time??? WTF , that would have been gold jerry! GOLD!
1 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-16
Ovaltine.
2 BarryMcCaulkener 2016-03-16
boscos you carp
3 EastSideDan 2016-03-16
How did Bonnie's ass look?
28 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
The fedora actually suited him.
4 EastSideDan 2016-03-16
Well played.
2 VeritablyClean 2016-03-16
you should've asked if Vos would be at McGooby's from the 17th-19th
2 Ijp5 2016-03-16
he seemed to be in on the joke when he made the plug. opie got a bad shot of richard in the little vestibule window thingy selling his CDs for ten bucks (after Bonnie spent much of the evening joking about how just that would be occurring at a promotional event for a memoir that she wrote and had published)
2 PatricesProgeny 2016-03-16
The man drinks Appletinis?
1 ChipChippersontss 2016-03-16
Heavy on the tini
1 iris201 2016-03-16
Sounds plausible. Lynsi is big friends with Bonnie after all.
1 iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-03-16
You said that the Hughes family was drinking and you "got a laugh in the morning!" So there's your contradiction, nice try with the hate though.
1 thatskelp 2016-03-16
Opester?!?
1 iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-03-16
Leave it alone. And Opie may be a lot of things but a morning time drinker is definitely not one.
1 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
I'm so jealous of you. Be honest, did Lynsi look good or bad? Was Bonnie as cute irl as in ( some ) of her photos?
2 Ijp5 2016-03-16
read the whole thread again you silly goose.
1 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
I'm all embarrassed.
1 Mitchull 2016-03-16
After this, Opie knows who you are. Watch your back.
4 Ijp5 2016-03-16
Eh, he can go take a long walk for all I give a care.
1 zlzl 2016-03-16
LANGUAGE!!
1 shinkleboutit 2016-03-16
Face!
1 opieanthonyjim 2016-03-16
Opie is definitely the type of person who is on his phone at every waking moment. He really needs to unplug from the Matrix and just be a normal person. He has a young wife who is too hot for him and all he does is stare at his phone. Just be a normal person. Who goes to a live show and stares at their phone the whole time?
1 bonecrushingkisses 2016-03-16
This is not the time for sensibility. Opie is a faggot.
1 [deleted] 2016-03-16
does Vos have a special pen for autographs? or can he wrap his tiny hands around a normal sized one?
6 Ijp5 2016-03-16
he just dips his pinky in the perpetually open cyst behind his ear and uses the dark pus as ink.
1 jwtruth 2016-03-16
When Opie tweeted about being there he mentions Ron and says aka @TheIBang thinking that is Ron's personal twitter. God I hate Opie
1 NJPoster 2016-03-16
Is the Opie and Anthony Show just about comedians?
1 [deleted] 2016-03-16
[removed]
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5 late_50s_why 2016-03-16
hows lynux looking these days? would u call her a milf of the day?
7 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-16
I am convinced the cleaning lady / nanny lays Opie's clothes out for him everyday before work.
1 chicken-named-mike 2016-03-16
Ovaltine.
1 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-16
hahaha rips his left tit off swings him around by the other one. All the while Opie's hair is pushed back by the force generated revealing to all his shameful baby hair.
hahahahhahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!
4 Ijp5 2016-03-16
Eh, he can go take a long walk for all I give a care.
6 Ijp5 2016-03-16
he just dips his pinky in the perpetually open cyst behind his ear and uses the dark pus as ink.
1 danimalplanimal 2016-03-16
Don't you just wish you were the rebel Opie is?
4 EastSideDan 2016-03-16
Well played.
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