My end game is a cold, dark night, getting drunk for the first time in my life, staring into the open end of a handgun, wondering what it all means and how it all came to this while outside I hear the revving of the Vespa's and Kawasaki's as BroJoe and the Leeches of Anthony MC circle my house and call out, daring me to step outside because my house is on a hill and they are too old, fat and out of shape to climb up the long staircase to get to me.
Nope I have never gotten drunk. Beer and liquor never have appealed to me. I can literally tell you what I have tried and just how little of it I had. Sip of beer when I was 16, couldn't stand the taste. A few sips of a screwdriver heavy on the OJ when I was 18. A sip of champagne at 3 weddings for toasts when I was 19 and 20 and after that I always toasted with water. And a sip of some hard lemonade shit when I was 20. And when I say sips I mean the smallest amount of liquid you can take when you put the rim of the glass to your lips. After the age of 20 I have stayed away from any form of liquor or beer.
Dunno why but none of it ever did anything for me or made me desire having more. So I guess except for the few sips when I was younger I am a true teetotaler.
Are you doing a Fez character or something? How the hell does someone, especially an O&A fan make it through high school/college without getting drunk? I'm not trying to hate, everyone around me smokes weed and I can't do it at all so I can understand, but how do you not get peer pressured into it at least once or twice?? Not drinking is not a bad thing but I could never picture avoiding it my entire life
Neither of my parents drank so I wasn't exposed to alcohol at home. All of my siblings tried alcohol, 2 of my sisters were bar hopping skanks for a year or two of their lives, and the rest are essentially like me in that alcohol does nothing for them but unlike me they will still drink if the situation calls for it like a holiday party or a wedding. My friends drank but never pressured me to do it. Two of my best friends growing up were like Jimmy claimed to be at 17 and 18 except they actually drank hard liquor and were real alcoholics. So you could say they did all my drinking for me. I just never liked the taste of it and chose not to drink it. Same way I don't like the taste of asparagus and cauliflower and choose not to eat it.
I've never tried drugs at all, no weed, cocaine, crack, LSD or anything of the sort. When I've had a serious pain issue and been prescribed codeine or any other sort of prescription pain killer it has made me sick to my stomach and caused me to throw up. So I don't mess with anything like that at all.
I'm just one of those odd people who doesn't use alcohol or drugs. No Fez character, just how I am. So if Fez doesn't drink or do drugs either than I am like him but unlike him I don't enjoy cock
That's probably it but since it tastes like shit to me I'll never be tempted to imbibe enough of it to see what it does for me or to me. My luck I get drunk, black out and wake up 3 days later in a mcmansion in Long Island sandwiched between a naked Ant and Jimmy with Leech Joe in a gimp suit filming it all.
It's from the show. He'd regularly interject into serious conversations to plug a gig. It got to the point that during discussions callers would call in to plug for him.
36 comments
25 AntsCamera 2016-03-13
He already is.
4 A_lad_insane_bowie 2016-03-13
Bonnie and him were on Anthony Bourdains show. Can't imagine Ant or Opie being anywhere near consideration for that.
14 peckaface 2016-03-13
He all ready is. He was the 1st white comic to perform on Def Comedy Jam remember?
14 Wsallgood 2016-03-13
"I eat de coochie"
1 AngeloMacon 2016-03-13
I know the struggle
5 cottonsweatpants 2016-03-13
Schtrugghle
1 OqieRadioze 2016-03-13
He self-identifies as black.
13 silks322 2016-03-13
The perfect bread bowl...
10 Safety_Dancer 2016-03-13
I think the endgame is:
Opie relegated to Buffalo Midday Radio
Jimmy doing okay in a few NYC comedy clubs, but otherwise fading to obscurity
Ant going Budd Dwyer with a gun that has a dildo attached like a silencer
Bobo and Colin Quinn finally go on that fucking Road Trip.
3 beam1985 2016-03-13
I'd contribute $250 to the Bobo & CQ roadtrip indiegogo.
2 OqieRadioze 2016-03-13
Aren't we there already?
7 NoirMagieGateau 2016-03-13
Molten Core
2 Purplestahli 2016-03-13
Thought it was HFC?
5 DaveNone 2016-03-13
My end game is a cold, dark night, getting drunk for the first time in my life, staring into the open end of a handgun, wondering what it all means and how it all came to this while outside I hear the revving of the Vespa's and Kawasaki's as BroJoe and the Leeches of Anthony MC circle my house and call out, daring me to step outside because my house is on a hill and they are too old, fat and out of shape to climb up the long staircase to get to me.
3 Mod_Impersonator 2016-03-13
You've never gotten drunk?
1 DaveNone 2016-03-13
Nope I have never gotten drunk. Beer and liquor never have appealed to me. I can literally tell you what I have tried and just how little of it I had. Sip of beer when I was 16, couldn't stand the taste. A few sips of a screwdriver heavy on the OJ when I was 18. A sip of champagne at 3 weddings for toasts when I was 19 and 20 and after that I always toasted with water. And a sip of some hard lemonade shit when I was 20. And when I say sips I mean the smallest amount of liquid you can take when you put the rim of the glass to your lips. After the age of 20 I have stayed away from any form of liquor or beer.
Dunno why but none of it ever did anything for me or made me desire having more. So I guess except for the few sips when I was younger I am a true teetotaler.
6 sanfrancisco69er 2016-03-13
Are you doing a Fez character or something? How the hell does someone, especially an O&A fan make it through high school/college without getting drunk? I'm not trying to hate, everyone around me smokes weed and I can't do it at all so I can understand, but how do you not get peer pressured into it at least once or twice?? Not drinking is not a bad thing but I could never picture avoiding it my entire life
6 CoyoteeBongwater 2016-03-13
He's a loser. A lucky loser, whose kidneys have a bright future and will have memory retention well into his 50s.
i'm in my 20s and I can't remember what i had for dinner most mornings
8 RearNakedGrope 2016-03-13
Well that's your problem, you're supposed to be eating breakfast in the morning, silly.
1 DaveNone 2016-03-13
Neither of my parents drank so I wasn't exposed to alcohol at home. All of my siblings tried alcohol, 2 of my sisters were bar hopping skanks for a year or two of their lives, and the rest are essentially like me in that alcohol does nothing for them but unlike me they will still drink if the situation calls for it like a holiday party or a wedding. My friends drank but never pressured me to do it. Two of my best friends growing up were like Jimmy claimed to be at 17 and 18 except they actually drank hard liquor and were real alcoholics. So you could say they did all my drinking for me. I just never liked the taste of it and chose not to drink it. Same way I don't like the taste of asparagus and cauliflower and choose not to eat it.
I've never tried drugs at all, no weed, cocaine, crack, LSD or anything of the sort. When I've had a serious pain issue and been prescribed codeine or any other sort of prescription pain killer it has made me sick to my stomach and caused me to throw up. So I don't mess with anything like that at all.
I'm just one of those odd people who doesn't use alcohol or drugs. No Fez character, just how I am. So if Fez doesn't drink or do drugs either than I am like him but unlike him I don't enjoy cock
2 RearNakedGrope 2016-03-13
Alcohol probably hasn't done anythkng for you cuz you didn't drink enough for it to. Just going out on a limb here.
1 DaveNone 2016-03-13
That's probably it but since it tastes like shit to me I'll never be tempted to imbibe enough of it to see what it does for me or to me. My luck I get drunk, black out and wake up 3 days later in a mcmansion in Long Island sandwiched between a naked Ant and Jimmy with Leech Joe in a gimp suit filming it all.
1 Popblawo 2016-03-13
I envy you.
3 SlappyJiggler 2016-03-13
I was hoping for a murder-suicide with Tits and Tranth.
2 Safety_Dancer 2016-03-13
If Tits turns into a woman, would Tranth still hate him? If Tranth sucks on Tits's tits and feminine penis, would he still hate Tranth?
This could be how we get our show back! Jimmy loves riding coat tails and sucking on trannies, so we know he'd be all for it!
1 SlappyJiggler 2016-03-13
I like this idea. Let's run with it.
3 FatMustacheCunt 2016-03-13
Vos already is the cat's meow.
2 xxmikekxx 2016-03-13
Rich Vos kills at the Stress Factory
2 OqieRadioze 2016-03-13
I'd like to somehow get Ozzy to turn on Jimmy.
1 [deleted] 2016-03-13
I honestly missed where this rich vos plug joke thing came from. But it's pretty annoying when your not in on it.
1 Safety_Dancer 2016-03-13
It's from the show. He'd regularly interject into serious conversations to plug a gig. It got to the point that during discussions callers would call in to plug for him.
1 [deleted] 2016-03-13
That's it? Rich Vos being a plug whore is old news, I thought something happened more recent because everyone seems to be posting these.
1 spaceship-earth 2016-03-13
heavens gate cult style suicide?
1 Chuck_Chasem 2016-03-13
The end game is getting the band back together again and reanimating Patrice using Sharon's body.
1 drunk8gods 2016-03-13
comic630
1 placermutka 2016-03-13
szGood lucksz wit dat