I had the worst day of my life today

0  2016-03-10 by Lies_and_Propaganda

I got a parking ticket because you are apparently only alleged to reverse into the spot. A lady slammed her brakes in front of me at a light on my way home after she was already over the line.

There was light paint damage to her car, she called the cops, and I got a ticket for following too close.

I come home in tears and tell my parents what happened, and they kicked me out of the house.

I am now in a tent in the woods next to a highway. I've got my phone but no charger and thinking about it no way to pay for it soon as I have no job or even a place to go.

I came to Reddit to try and cheer myself up before I cry myself to sleep, and I came here to my new favorite subreddit and remembered, I may have lost everything in my life, but I didn't have shit anyway, watching Anths fall from grace it reminds me to count my blessings. At least no one cares or pays attention to some random internet asshole.

37 comments

9  TheTigerDriver 2016-03-10

Hope you get AIDS.

4  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

I probably already do. I've been fucked by more than a few black dudes while I cross dressed.

I wish I was young and pretty enough to get Ant to notice me.

2  MrKrinkel 2016-03-10

That's sad. 15 years young and you're already past his range. Good luck on the next go around!

1  I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-10

Dammit!

7  Opprobriousness 2016-03-10

Today I drank two beers in the shower at 3pm on a Wednesday.

I can't tell if I'm living the dream or on the verge of suicide.

4  FatMustacheCunt 2016-03-10

Even in a dumb, fake story women can't drive.

2  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

Ha, she really couldn't. And I understand your skepticism, I'd say the same thing.

I left out the best part. Her son, s huge black dude, pulled up while the cop was there and he threatened to kill me. His mom pulled him off me and the cop came out of his car and told me to just wait on the car.

2  FatMustacheCunt 2016-03-10

And you didn't press charges against the n-person for a terroristic-threat?

(I know this is bullshit, but I'll humor ya.)

2  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

For threatening me? If he hit me I would have, but honestly, I was crying like a bitch the whole time, I didn't handle it well at all.

2  FatMustacheCunt 2016-03-10

What happened to the groceries?

2  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

I'm sorry, is this a joke I'm not getting or did I mention groceries somewhere and can't find it?

2  FatMustacheCunt 2016-03-10

Fear not, its a joke. And are you doing a character, or are you for reals having a breakdown? If so, you should probably get help instead of shitposting on a dead radio show's sub where the users have the compassion of an Ustase irregular.

1  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

I'm afraid I'm for reals having a breakdown, everything I posted even the cross dressing black dudes but is real. I know it sounds silly but shitposting takes me back to my younger days spent all online shitposting on my favorite forum, with a community of people who speak like you all.

And it's the middle of the night, I'm in a tent. I've got one change of clothes and no car, no friends, and I'm in upper middle class suburbs, with no government or charity aid stations within anything less than 15 miles. I'm a 25 autistic faggot with no work experience, and a failure to his parents, family, and anyone who has ever known him.

Sorry you shouldn't have had to read that last part and I shouldn'tve typed it, but it's really cathartic you know? Even though I have no one in real life to talk to I can post it online and it may at least get heard, and a record of my sad story is there for posterity if someone I know stumbles upon my username.

2  FatMustacheCunt 2016-03-10

Well, everyone on this sub is an autistic faggot, so you're among chums. And nothing wrong with cross-dressing, we all want to feel pretty sometimes. (However, I cannot approve of interracial mingling. Its like doing the laundry, you don't mix the colors with the whites).

So why exactly did your parents kick you out?

3  jsmill1 2016-03-10

I'm guessing it had something to do with the whole crossdressing and fucking multiple men part, perhaps also the potentially contracting AIDS thing. seeing as upper middle class suburban families tend not to like when their sons are into that kind of thing. not that there's anything wrong with it. except maybe the AIDS part, seems like he should get that checked.

2  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

You are mostly right, but they never knew I've fucked dudes or cross dressed. But yes, they believe I'm gay and am full of other sin. I'm also the eldest son with no prospects or even girlfriend while my little bro is going to law school and getting engaged. Dad doesn't need me anymore, I'm not necessary for the family name to survive.

And while I have fucked black dudes there were always condoms except when I just suck people off, and it's been well over a year since I've hooked up with anyone I don't know, so hopefully I'm good on the AIDS thing, which I used more as a joke since dude brought it up first.

2  TheTigerDriver 2016-03-10

Jeez, after hearing all this I feel kinda bad about the AIDS thing. Maybe we can settle on something like chlamydia?

1  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

A black guy was the first human I ever did anything with, I didn't have much of a choice, he didn't say what he was in his reply to my craigslist post, and I had been rejected every time I tried to hook up with anyone online even. At least when a black dudes fucking a fag he isn't fucking a pure white girl.

My parents kicked me out because I got into this accident with moms car. It shows I have no respect for them or anyone apparently even though it's my first ever accident. They kicked me out years before when they found tranny porn on the computer, but that was my brothers, as I'm into just dudes, and am far too computer savvy to leave porn or even use that computer for porn. I moved in with my cousin, and I went off to college soon after that, but had to come home after being diagnosed with autism and constant anxiety and panic attacks.

I have been living with them for sixish months since then and have been trying to get my life on track. They have been upset with me for sleeping in instead of going to church and they still don't fully believe I'm not gay and they always say how their house feels so much more sinful since I've been back. They basically used the accident as an excuse and proof I'm a horrible person.

I mean I could go on more about the little sinful things I've done like accidentally use curse words in front of them and watched The Simpsons, but I've already bored you I'm sure, and my battery is dipping below 25 and I can't get anywhere to charge it let alone think of s place that will let me charge it. Thank you for asking about me and listening, it really means a lot.

2  jsmill1 2016-03-10

lol the hypocrisies of religious people know no bounds. it's 2016, for pete's sake, how can anyone still believe in a biblical God? anyway I hope it gets a little better for you sir, that all sounds very difficult.

3  InconsistentJim 2016-03-10

Don't worry - you and Anthony still have more to lose.

3  SlappyJiggler 2016-03-10

I scanned for "peckahs", seeing none I abandoned OP's story.

3  MrKrinkel 2016-03-10

I'll take your problems and raise you a brain tumor

2  TheSweetSniff 2016-03-10

Maybe you should start touching little kids in your new tent.

2  jsmill1 2016-03-10

how the hell did you stumble across this subreddit, if I might ask? I saw your other post but I don't actually understand the appeal of this place to people who weren't longtime fans of the show.

3  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

I browse r/all and see posts in this forum show up in the new popular posts of the hour. I try to understand all the inside jokes and references, I normally can't.

But this sub just kept popping up and over time I understood what was going on just from reading. I'm in a really bad spot recently and I don't know why I was attracted to this place. Maybe it feels like the old Internet to me, everyone is in a persona acting sort of shitty but are hilarious together.

2  jsmill1 2016-03-10

well, I'd certainly recommend giving some of the old Youtube archives of O&A a listen, just so you can really get what all the hubbub's about. I'd start with the Louis CK or Patrice episodes, those should give you a good cross-section of how the show has changed over time.

1  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

I'm going to get on the Patrice episodes as soon as I'm able. I always meant to look into him after he passed, as everyone seemed to genuinely love him, and he appeared very much to be a comedians comedian.

2  Wellshiteinabucket 2016-03-10

I hope a homeless man sneaks into your tent and makes you suck his smelly foreign smegma cock.

1  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

I'm in the suburbs still, it's too nice to have wandering homeless. But sincerely I would suck anyone's dick right now, if it was smegmay I'd hopefully have water, if not I'd at least wipe it clean.

But just having any human contact would mean the world to me, and that someone would want me to suck them off, it's nice to feel wanted is all.

2  Wellshiteinabucket 2016-03-10

Feg.

1  Mouthful_of_cum 2016-03-10

Weve all been there bro. I had a really cute outfit planned for today but i woke up too bloated to button my pants thanks to the morning after pill i can totally relate

-1  KingTutsstache 2016-03-10

Ahhh... you live with your parents. Everyone else here has a trailer paid by welfare. Feel bad for you

1  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

Can the government give me welfare because I'm autistic?

2  TOPICALJOKELOL 2016-03-10

If you can drive you're not too retarded to work.

1  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

Not even temporarily for a panic and anxiety induced breakdown due to sudden loss of shelter food and money

1  Lies_and_Propaganda 2016-03-10

Sorry to bother you, I'm sure you don't actually know, but can I break my leg and be taken care of while it recovers?

2  TOPICALJOKELOL 2016-03-10

Probably, if you had a job when it happened.