I'd go back just a few months and give my past self the winning numbers of that big lotto jackpot that reached a billion and a half dollars. But I'd do it a few days earlier when it was only a billion dollars. Then I'd come back to now as a near billionaire and I'd overpay the jews for the 5 closest houses to Anthony's and rent them out to black people for a dollar a month, and I mean hardcore thuggish ghetto black people. Then I'd start a podcast network and give anyone here who wanted it a show and buy them the equipment they'd need to broadcast. Or better yet pay Sirius to let me buy a channel on their airwaves and start up the O & A subreddit network. Roundtable discussion shows, interviews with people affected by the O & A shows. My gosh it would be swell.
What? it's illegal to get podcasting equipment into the city? I could rent us a studio in the same building as TACS is in. But I think the Sirius idea would be more fun.
I have this feeling that soon after Anthony dies, there will be a bunch of Saville-esque revelations that rise to the surface. We're going to find out that Anthony and Keith were both The Long Island Serial Killer, and that they made snuff films in the Compound for wealthy patrons. (Whhhhhen the laaaast light warms the rocks and the raaaattleeesnakes uuuunfold)
sure if i could go back in time i'd probably try to prevent the births of a few people and maybe pull the fire alarm in the twin towers around 7 or 8am, but this is the O&A subreddit, keep it topical
"We arrested this guy that pulled the fire alarm in both of the towers. Shortly after they were coming down. He also knows who is responsible. He claims time travel, but we'll eventually get the truth out of him."
I almost had this experience in a way. Went to visit my father last weekend and thought about updating him on Greggshells and Tranthony, but didn't have the heart. I don't think he could even comprehend the whole Ant/Ladyboy thing.
If I could go back just for once, I'd travel to the day I first heard O&A and right after the clip finished playing I'd put my hand on my shoulder and say "Don't get involved, It'll only end in heartache..."
36 comments
31 DLoRussell1 2016-03-08
That would be a sad existence. If I ever went back in time this would be the last thing I'd involve my time in
16 [deleted] 2016-03-08
[deleted]
6 arsenal4 2016-03-08
thank you for your service
2 [deleted] 2016-03-08
This was a good read though...give him that.
23 takyon_deathyon 2016-03-08
"Go outside and stop watching O&A clips on youtube."
"But-but Louis CK is on it! That guy is hilarious! Also ya got Bill Burr, Patri-"
"GO OUTSIDE YOU STUPID FUCK, GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOURSELF FOR FUCKS SAKE I HATE YOU SO MUCH"
Sorry, too real.
13 [deleted] 2016-03-08
[deleted]
1 SteakSauce66 2016-03-08
"Don't have fried rice for breakfast."
5 lelgimps 2016-03-08
i'd blow myself first
4 cayneabel 2016-03-08
Well...thanks for making everyone uncomfortable.
20 Cold-in-the-D 2016-03-08
''Steve C did what ?''
5 Muted_Post-Horn 2016-03-08
YETTHH
14 Ramoooone 2016-03-08
This is without a doubt the darkest timeline.
In another universe somewhere Patrice is still alive and Anthony never went to time square that faithful night and every thing is still hunky dory.
10 DaveNone 2016-03-08
I'd go back just a few months and give my past self the winning numbers of that big lotto jackpot that reached a billion and a half dollars. But I'd do it a few days earlier when it was only a billion dollars. Then I'd come back to now as a near billionaire and I'd overpay the jews for the 5 closest houses to Anthony's and rent them out to black people for a dollar a month, and I mean hardcore thuggish ghetto black people. Then I'd start a podcast network and give anyone here who wanted it a show and buy them the equipment they'd need to broadcast. Or better yet pay Sirius to let me buy a channel on their airwaves and start up the O & A subreddit network. Roundtable discussion shows, interviews with people affected by the O & A shows. My gosh it would be swell.
12 OqieRadioze 2016-03-08
How ever would you get the podcasting equipment into the city?
4 DaveNone 2016-03-08
What? it's illegal to get podcasting equipment into the city? I could rent us a studio in the same building as TACS is in. But I think the Sirius idea would be more fun.
6 Noremac05 2016-03-08
"and I mean hardcore thuggish black people"
Yuck
6 DaveNone 2016-03-08
Exactly!! Think of how happy that would make Anthony.
2 Xmacct2 2016-03-08
No you wouldn't.
7 DaveNone 2016-03-08
Yeah I'd probably just buy a big house, call it a compound and closet myself in it surrounded by guns and tranny hookers.
8 Pedro-Cerano 2016-03-08
"You know how Jimmy spends so much time making AIDS jokes?" "Yeah." "Well, he looks like an AIDS patient now"
8 siuad 2016-03-08
"Patrice ate himself to death and died late 2011. After that, the show st-" "No need to continue. The radio will be in the dumpster if you need it."
8 swanal 2016-03-08
Here's how it would go for me.
"Hey, Opie and Anthony broke up."
"Those faggots I have to tolerate in order to hear comedians be funny on YouTube clips?"
"Yes."
The end.
7 bessieventurok 2016-03-08
I have this feeling that soon after Anthony dies, there will be a bunch of Saville-esque revelations that rise to the surface. We're going to find out that Anthony and Keith were both The Long Island Serial Killer, and that they made snuff films in the Compound for wealthy patrons. (Whhhhhen the laaaast light warms the rocks and the raaaattleeesnakes uuuunfold)
6 NashuaDan 2016-03-08
If you go back in time and suck off a younger, hotter version of yourself does that make you gay?
2 NortheastPhilly 2016-03-08
not at all boy
3 onemancrimespree 2016-03-08
If I could go back in time why would I use it to explain something to myself that I'm going to eventually find out myself anyway?
8 CoyoteeBongwater 2016-03-08
let's not get into semantics now
sure if i could go back in time i'd probably try to prevent the births of a few people and maybe pull the fire alarm in the twin towers around 7 or 8am, but this is the O&A subreddit, keep it topical
4 ChipperClegane 2016-03-08
"We arrested this guy that pulled the fire alarm in both of the towers. Shortly after they were coming down. He also knows who is responsible. He claims time travel, but we'll eventually get the truth out of him."
5 CoyoteeBongwater 2016-03-08
thenceforth i'd predict every o&a travesty to come and fall into bobo level lunacy.
I'd live the rest of my retarded life as a martyr who saved Pete Davidsons dad, possibly saving him from a life as a comic.
1 PeteFo 2016-03-08
But....how would you tell yourself......if you...you didn't know it??
1 [deleted] 2016-03-08
[deleted]
1 mayomayomayomayomayo 2016-03-08
Yeah. Ok...? Wow. Ah... Weird.
1 urfaceisa 2016-03-08
Present me: Anthony Cumia develops Korsakoff's syndrome
Past me: I don't give a fuck about some retarded spagettinigger on the radio, Biff this shit up
1 RonSwansonsCabin 2016-03-08
I almost had this experience in a way. Went to visit my father last weekend and thought about updating him on Greggshells and Tranthony, but didn't have the heart. I don't think he could even comprehend the whole Ant/Ladyboy thing.
1 CharlieSheenAids 2016-03-08
The president is a WHAT?!?
1 aaron91325 2016-03-08
Show your tits.
0 AssMcPlay 2016-03-08
fuck that, id do whats right and come back with LISTS of past winning lottery numbers from several states.
0 [deleted] 2016-03-08
If I could go back just for once, I'd travel to the day I first heard O&A and right after the clip finished playing I'd put my hand on my shoulder and say "Don't get involved, It'll only end in heartache..."
0 crunchtimestudio 2016-03-08
I think you should go back in time to before you hit 'Enter' on this post, and post your tits instead