"Folks, I know I make a lot of jokes on stage. But in all seriousness, it's been 21 years, 5 months, and 12 days since I've had a drink or drug in my body."
Ant, if you're reading this, then please listen up. You were the guy Ant. The guy who was uniquely funny. The guy with a sincere point of view. The guy who'd actually lived through years of shit and misery, and had true perspective as a result of that. The guy who knew how to navigate around stupid Opie and his terrible contributions. The guy who made Jimmy funnier than usual (which is very funny).
I understand why you and lots of other people related to the O&A world read this sub. It's not that you're masochistic, but some of things people say here ARE INSIGHTFUL. Please don't act like nothing anyone says here has any impact on you. There was another guy who used to do that. His wife ended up giving birth on a skateboard.
Anthony, I still want to be your fan. You're just making it difficult at the moment. Keep plugging away (I know, individual follicles).
Good luck in court. Guilty or not, something tells me that Danni is a money grubbing cunt.
Why didn't you just send this to him in a private message on his Reddit account? That way you know he saw it. I get it though, I'm still a huge Ant fan myself.
Am I allowed to take a 2 or 3 day break after 2 weeks? They'll be weekdays of course. And I'll be playing video games and watching porn til 430 am to fill the void
I'm no doctor but I'd say not to risk it, if you stop the cumulative hangover could kill you so it's better to just keep drinking every day until something else kills you.
You fellas just be sure and stay away from Zima. It was Zima that did our boy Jim Norton in. He saw that tempting clear liquid in that glistening bottle with it's silver and blue label and it called to him. It insinuated itself in his mind, calling to him like a seductive temptress until finally he couldn't help himself and he took a sip. And that one sip of evil Zima did to Jimmy Norton what it usually takes gallons and gallons of regular alcohol consumed over years to do to other folks. It made him make a fool of himself in front of his father!! His father!! That one sip of the bitch goddess Zima made Jimmy such an object of shame in that one second that he was forced to enter rehab!!! And the self loathing he felt made him leave rehab after a week. And ever since then Jimmy has devoted his life to warning others of the danger of alcohol by pontificating about it and talking endlessly about his struggles, all based on that one sip of Zima.
36 comments
21 greygooser 2016-03-01
"Folks, I know I make a lot of jokes on stage. But in all seriousness, it's been 21 years, 5 months, and 12 days since I've had a drink or drug in my body."
14 Hxcgrapes 2016-03-01
"Folksch"**
6 TanksForNothing 2016-03-01
^ as he's chewing nicotine gum
3 DaveNone 2016-03-01
"I've been clean and sober and only ingested tranny shit and tranny cum, lots and lots of tranny cum."
18 Moxson4 2016-03-01
Hello everybody. I'm a recovering alcoholic & I wrote a poem about my struggles. Here I am at Princeton House just staring at the ceiling...
6 Popblawo 2016-03-01
I was in Princeton house for a week. Someone carved UNCLE SEX in a drawer in my room.
1 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-01
i am uncle sex
1 Popblawo 2016-03-01
Prove it. When you were at Princeton house where'd you go after.
1 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-03-01
for some nephew sex
1 Popblawo 2016-03-01
Liar you went to an all boys Christian boarding school.
8 BatKnuckles 2016-03-01
Ant, if you're reading this, then please listen up. You were the guy Ant. The guy who was uniquely funny. The guy with a sincere point of view. The guy who'd actually lived through years of shit and misery, and had true perspective as a result of that. The guy who knew how to navigate around stupid Opie and his terrible contributions. The guy who made Jimmy funnier than usual (which is very funny).
I understand why you and lots of other people related to the O&A world read this sub. It's not that you're masochistic, but some of things people say here ARE INSIGHTFUL. Please don't act like nothing anyone says here has any impact on you. There was another guy who used to do that. His wife ended up giving birth on a skateboard.
Anthony, I still want to be your fan. You're just making it difficult at the moment. Keep plugging away (I know, individual follicles).
Good luck in court. Guilty or not, something tells me that Danni is a money grubbing cunt.
/u/AnthonyCumiaShow
18 shinkleboutit 2016-03-01
if you read this ant also... I hope you fall down a flight of Stairs.
8 PiggyFork 2016-03-01
Hey. He could break a hip...
9 Mouthful_of_cum 2016-03-01
Or a rib or wrist...
7 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-01
I want a divorce.
3 Mouthful_of_cum 2016-03-01
Im still married to my baby daddy 🙊
2 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-01
👨🏿🔫💥⚰
❓
1 Mouthful_of_cum 2016-03-01
Please 🙏
2 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-01
Last chance and this time you better live up to your name.
1 Mouthful_of_cum 2016-03-01
I wont spit or swallow just stick my tongue out for u to see 😗
2 I_Hate_Knickers 2016-03-01
You disgust and arouse me in equal measure.
🤔
1 Moxson4 2016-03-01
Why didn't you just send this to him in a private message on his Reddit account? That way you know he saw it. I get it though, I'm still a huge Ant fan myself.
11 takyon_deathyon 2016-03-01
or he could just suck his cock
7 Moxson4 2016-03-01
It sounds like he already did!
2 [deleted] 2016-03-01
[deleted]
1 Popblawo 2016-03-01
Why would he post this hidden in this thread at all?
7 Popblawo 2016-03-01
I'm about to get real fucking drunk. Is that OK on a Monday night?
8 Mod_Impersonator 2016-03-01
I'm in the process as well brother, stay strong.
4 OpiesBreasts 2016-03-01
Yeah as long as you usually do it every single day of the week. It's all about being consistent.
3 Popblawo 2016-03-01
Am I allowed to take a 2 or 3 day break after 2 weeks? They'll be weekdays of course. And I'll be playing video games and watching porn til 430 am to fill the void
1 TriangleDimes 2016-03-01
I'm no doctor but I'd say not to risk it, if you stop the cumulative hangover could kill you so it's better to just keep drinking every day until something else kills you.
7 Ronvsfez 2016-03-01
About to chase the dragon myself
3 DaveNone 2016-03-01
You fellas just be sure and stay away from Zima. It was Zima that did our boy Jim Norton in. He saw that tempting clear liquid in that glistening bottle with it's silver and blue label and it called to him. It insinuated itself in his mind, calling to him like a seductive temptress until finally he couldn't help himself and he took a sip. And that one sip of evil Zima did to Jimmy Norton what it usually takes gallons and gallons of regular alcohol consumed over years to do to other folks. It made him make a fool of himself in front of his father!! His father!! That one sip of the bitch goddess Zima made Jimmy such an object of shame in that one second that he was forced to enter rehab!!! And the self loathing he felt made him leave rehab after a week. And ever since then Jimmy has devoted his life to warning others of the danger of alcohol by pontificating about it and talking endlessly about his struggles, all based on that one sip of Zima.
So you boys stay away from Demon Zima ya hear!!!
3 Elagens 2016-03-01
When Opprobriousness posted about Goldeneye in the 3-week addiction thread, my wheels really got turning.
I dug out the N64 and brought it into the den, then had a moment of clarity and called a friend.
Unfortunately, he was totally into it too. He hasn't come over yet and I haven't looked for the second controller, but it's only a matter of time.
Damn my TV is so much bigger than it was in '98. (just kidding, I'm in mom's basement with a 27" VCR combo)
2 [deleted] 2016-03-01
[deleted]
1 FancyAndImportantMan 2016-03-01
Happy leap beer!
1 ThrowThrow117 2016-03-01
What's that?
1 DireWolf2121 2016-03-01
I'm standing on a bridge in a black sabbath tee shirt with a bottle of gin in one hand and a bundle of tear stained celebrity photos in the other.