O&J Lasagna hat leap year listening thread (2/29/15)
65 2016-02-29 by GayNiggerFag
Haven't listened to a show in over a year. Let's see how long I can do this
8 minutes in and the bbboys have already delivered some hot takes
-Tits says nobody boycotted the Oscars because there were a lot of people in the crowd. But he hit the hay early and missed everything
-Jimmy heard Leo was pretty good in the Revenant but oh darn, he hasn't gotten around to seeing it yet
-Jimmy pontificated on something, and the little boy feels like he's heating up. His nostril inhalations are dynamic today
Tits follows up with a "niceeee. Vurrry good sniff
7:25 AM: playing audio of Chris Rock slammin' the oscars. "He's on my top 10 of all time. I love the Chris Rock, always have"-Tits
7:30 AM: "Very few women like trans girls". Jimmy is still a faggot. Confirmed
7:32 AM: Opie just dropped a family secret bomb on the boys. Someone in his family, but he won't reveal who! used to pluck out her eyebrows. Florentine responded with a deep voiced "wow"
7:40 AM: "how do other men on college campuses get sexually abused?"-Tits asks in dismay. "Other men. By other men" responds the worm
7:42 AM: Tits just made the whole room uncomfortable saying he would be amped to fuck fat girls in college. Even "the pig of pigs" he would be proud about. Nobody responded and gregshells have been cracked within the first hour!
7:47 AM: Jimmy cracks a joke about fucking another dude in the mouth. Oh, James
7:55 AM: Opie still just can't wrap his head around guys being sexually assaulted in college. He just doesn't get it and he's letting everyone know it
7:57 AM: friend zone Jimmy chimes in on men assaulting drunk women
8:00 AM: Jimmy had a chance to fuck a girl in the ass but he was too much of a pussy to follow through. He admits she wouldn't fuck him sober, but he figured she was too wasted when she asked him to fuck her in the ass. Nice guy Jimmy got her an uber home, free of charge
8:08 AM: "it's hard enough to get a rod without 3 guys, and a Dad watching" -Florentine
8:10 AM: Florentine admits to fucking a girl after she puked, even made out with her. Getting rapey and edgey on O&J today
8:11 AM: Phones are LIT on this topic, tits exclaimed
8:14 AM: tits convinces the room and says that politicians are so full of shit. Mind blowing
8:15 AM: Tits said he read one of Steve Martin's books and it was a GREAT READ. Immediately somone checks Opie and said he didn't read it but he listened to it on tape. Oh shit! "You know what I fffucking mean"
8:23 AM: Opie asks if Nick, not Nate, Diaz has a chance against Conor McGregor this weekend. Jimmy says chip will be doing some commentary on one of the undercard fights and he's "really annoying when he watches fights". Fawk yeah can't wait sockcucka!
8:25 AM: the boys realize their mistake that it is in fact Nate, not Nick fighting. Opie drags down everyone who agreed with him that thought it was Nick
8:30 AM: Justin tells a shitty story and Jimmy is crapping all over him for it. Opie gets lost in translation and can't figure out what is happening
8:35 AM: Opie becomes obsessed with an irrelevant detail of Justin's bullshit story. He wants to know how long his phone call with Steve Martin was, and he wants to get down to the bottom of it. A retarded voice from nowhere. It's Kenny and he also wants to know how long the call was
8:41 AM: Vos phones in from the airport. Opie thinks Christian Bale was good in the movie The Big Short...from the clips he's seen.
8:44 AM: Vos wont reveal which line he wrote for Chris Rock.
8:47AM: Vos takes a shot at the strangels and wonders how they still have jobs. Forced hack laughter fills the room
8:52 AM: HOLD ON! HOLD ON!
8:55 AM: Stangel tells another shitty story and Opie gets caught up on another irrelevant detail.
9:00 AM: Jimmy announces Chip Chipperson episode 2 is up on his site. No retweets yet from Amy
9:14 AM: The boys come storming back from break with Dr Steve on the line. Dr. Steve cracked greggshells within the first minute and Opie is on the defensive
9:19 AM: Dr Steve tells a story about how he once popped a cyst that went into his mouth. Jimmy reminds everyone of his homosexual tendencies by saying he once had something explode in his mouth but it wasn't medical related.
9:23 AM: Jimmy shows everyone a disgusting video. Dr Steve can't open the link and might have just downloaded a virus on his phone
9:31 AM: Opie isn't sure how to say Palin, as in Sarah Palin. He asks the room how they pronounce it
9:34-9:38 AM: They've been playing a Chris Christie sound bite for 4 minutes without stopping and talking about it. Very strange
9:40 AM: Jimmy also confirms politicians are full of shit
9:44 AM: 4 more minutes of Chris Christie talking. "We were only going to play a few minutes of this, but ffffuck"-Titties
9:47 AM: "where are we at with the KKK thing?"
9:50 AM: More twitter/politics talk. I can't take much more
9:54 AM: The energy has left the room, and Opie and the boys are on air fighting for their lives
9:56 AM: I feel sick for listening this long. I'm going to tap out and take sleeping pills for my day off.
That fucking sucked
61 comments
39 Cletus_From_Brooklyn 2016-02-29
OP please continue the delicious commentary. Much better read than having to listen to this horse shit...
-20 esiper 2016-02-29
I’ve already told you that you’re gonna be whipped lightly, for pleasure. The electroshock will be used lightly, for pleasure. Most of the other nasty little things that we’re going to do, for the most part, will be done on your breasts, nipples and between your legs. The lady is fortunate. She can get off any time. She just likes to be a little sadistic with a slave once in awhile. In my case, I cannot get off with a girl unless I hurt her first. That’s basically the reason I’m into rape and slavery, and the reason that you’re going to be subjected to acertain amount of pain. Mostly what we do to a captive is stick needles in her breasts and through her nipples, through her cunt lips, through her clit, and I’m into stretching certain things. Clamps, with long nylon cords on each one, will occasionally be put on your cunt lips so your pussy can be kept pulled open, and they’re also going to be attached to your nipples.
The nylon cords will be put through ceiling rings, or rings on each side of the table, and pulled very tight to stretch your tits. ”Occasionally, your clit will also be clamped and stretched and we’re gonna be using dildos. The dildos are gonna be used a lot, more than anything else, and consequently, what you’re going to have the most trouble with. Many of them are long, very large in diameter and very painful while they’re being forced in. Your mistress will use them in your pussy and I like to use them in both holes. Actually, that pretty well covers it. There’s gonna be a few other little things that we do. Nothing of any greater consequence and not often, just variety. As far as needles goes, they’ll always be sterilized. The clamps are gonna hurt like a motherfucker, but they won’t cause any permanent injury. They don’t even break the skin. As far as the dildos go, both of those holes between your legs will stretch a hell of a lot. It’ll hurt, but they’ll stretch. Your pussy is designed for a baby to come out of and we won’t be using anything bigger than that. The really large ones will not be used in your butt. I don’t wanna stretch that hole so big that it’s not usable for fucking.
Anyway, that pretty well covers that part of it. Let’s see, what have I missed? Let’s talk about screaming. Every once in awhile we get a screamer. Some bitch that just wants to scream all the time. And it definitely gets ’em in trouble, because it gets on my nerves. Very shortly, that gag is going to be removed. We live in an isolated area, so screaming is not usually a problem. In the playroom it’s not much of a problem at all because of the soundproofing. But it irritates the fuck out of me. There is a time and a place. Occasionally I like to hear a bitch scream, but usually not.
The only thing that screaming is gonna get you around here is a lot of punishment. And, if you do it habitually, I will just keep a ball gag in your mouth all the time. It’ll only be taken out for you to eat and suck. I’ve already told you about talking. Don’t try to initiate a conversation. Don’t say anything. You will be punished. If you’re a smoker, now’s a good time to quit. I’m not gonna buy your cigarettes and if you ask for one, the only thing you’re gonna get is a few whip marks. Remember, when you’re asked a question, you say, “yes, master” or “no, master.” If you have to go to the restroom, it is “master,” or “mistress,” may I please go to the restroom. Any time that you are given a command, always acknowledge the order verbally, “yes, master,” and then obey the order. That’s not too difficult.
A bright little thing like you should be able to learn it real fast. There are gonna be times when you are under a stress, a certain amount of stress and you may forget. But that’s no excuse. Each time you fuck up, you are gonna be punished. After you’re here a few days, it’ll eventually become automatic and there’ll no longer be a problem. I realize that, after awhile, when I take that gag off, you are really gonna want to try to talk to me, talk me into turning you loose and such. It’s because, with your wrists and ankles chained, your mouth is the only defense you have. But don’t do it. It won’t work and all it will bring is punishment.
Your first day here is not gonna be too difficult. There won’t be any serious dungeon games. Your training has already been initiated, so you’ll have to be very careful what you say and how you act. But for the most part, there’s gonna be a little exploring. We will become very familiar with your body, and do a little fuckin’ and suckin’. We may tease you a little bit with some of our more humane toys, but nothing serious. It’s gonna be kind of an adjustment period. Don’t say anything. Don’t struggle or resist, no matter what we do, because we are going to start enforcing the rules immediately.
Now later, I’m gonna be asking you a bunch of questions. Since I’m gonna be caring for your body for the next month or two, or three, there are certain things that I need to know. I have prepared a questionnaire that I fill out with each new captive. Some of the questions are going to be embarrassing, but you should answer them truthfully and completely. You damn well better. I don’t wanna catch you in a lie. The questions will be in reference to your physical condition, any medical conditions that I’d need to know about, medications, sex habits, sexual preferences, any childbirth you mighta had, period dates and so forth.
16 nointernetforyou 2016-02-29
Who has time to read this?
2 TheFatMosque 2016-02-29
is this ready to crtl+v'd at all points in time or did you write this just now?
25 aso513 2016-02-29
Opie's inability to understand the college abuse thing is amazing, it just shows that the guy has zero intelligence and is unable to generate an original or deep thought outside of something he can recite, most likely incorrectly, from a documentary.
18 jimmyze013 2016-02-29
It's documentree
15 867-5309- 2016-02-29
The sad reality is that you could literally substitute "college abuse" with any subject (well, except the Kardashians) and your comment would still be accurate.
8 TheFatMosque 2016-02-29
e.g. "water"
3 bizzlbone 2016-02-29
How do dudes get abused in college? FUCK man this is gettin into pot talk Monday again
2 BarryMcCaulkener 2016-02-29
he once told a story about almost being raped by a black guy when he was at geneseo, brahseph. that dont make no sense, tits.
19 Skip4play 2016-02-29
I fucking hate that Tits acts like hes just solving the worlds problems in minutes, just sitting behind a soundboard. His whole tone sounds like " its just so easy". He is so out of touch with reality.
14 [deleted] 2016-02-29
[deleted]
7 MrKrinkel 2016-02-29
Check out the empties wee-zol
13 Wsallgood 2016-02-29
Gregg "in the end, it's all fawwkin bullshit" Hughes
2 TheFatMosque 2016-02-29
his progeny will benefit greatly from his groundbreaking work in the fields of...well...
12 Moveinslience 2016-02-29
i love this commentary
11 KingTutsstache 2016-02-29
God bless you for listening. You deserve a medal for your bravery
10 CharlieSheenAids 2016-02-29
Reverant
33 TacoTrots 2016-02-29
I wanna see the bear movie!
10 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-02-29
This would be great to have as a news ticker on google glass. Every couple of minutes for a few hours each day the top right corner of your vision would fade in with a CNN newsflash:
2 TriangleDimes 2016-02-29
I would pay $6.95 a month for that service.
3 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-02-29
I cannot think of a single other service or product that your $7/month would be better spent on.
1 mlabella5 2016-02-29
hum.. louis J gomes' GAS network? yeah..
9 867-5309- 2016-02-29
Jimmy is no better than the rapists he is condemning according to UCLA:
Men who pay to have sex with prostitutes have less empathy for women and may be more likely to commit rape in the future, finds a newstudy from the University of California-Los Angeles (UCLA).
"Our findings indicate that men who buy sex share certain key characteristics with men who are at risk for committing sexual aggression," said study co-author Neil Malamuth, a professor of communications studies and psychology at UCLA, in a press release. "Both groups tend to have a preference for impersonal sex, a fear of rejection by women, a history of having committed sexually aggressive acts and a hostile masculine self-identification. Those who buy sex, on average, have less empathy for women in prostitution and view them as intrinsically different from other women."
Source: http://www.medicaldaily.com/prostitution-and-sexual-abuse-men-who-pay-sex-may-be-more-likely-commit-rape-350700
1 DeafandMutePenguin 2016-02-29
Or it could just be a correlation because it's easier to get a prostitute into a hotel room or cornered alone elsewhere.
Studies like this generally overlook correlation factors.
2 TriangleDimes 2016-02-29
Prostitutes are much more likely to go onto a stranger's yacht.
2 NortheastPhilly 2016-02-29
Having a pool in your backyard increases your chances of drowning
9 867-5309- 2016-02-29
One of the advertisers for Opie Raqio is a scale to weigh tractor trailer trucks; What happened with Roland doing the challenge from Dr Ian?
1 Wolfizm 2016-02-29
What happened? They gained a 'scale to weigh tractor trailer trucks' advertiser. Thanks Roland, you fat tub of shit.
9 glassery 2016-02-29
Not one fucking mention of lasagna hat leap year? The fuck is wrong with this show. If Sam was still executive producer someone would have had a lasagna hat on. Oh ffs.
/u/notsamwastaken you need to retrain the Stangals.
8 867-5309- 2016-02-29
The same guys who trashed the NFL for broadcasting anti-domestic violence PSAs during games are praising the Oscars for having the Vice President do an anti-rape PSA during the show.
7 TheSweetSniff 2016-02-29
Where we at with the rape?
4 867-5309- 2016-02-29
From what I gathered they feel:
Telling people not to rape = Good.
Telling people not to hit women = Bad.
2 blackirishlad 2016-02-29
because a no can become a yes if you hit them hard enough.
8 BoardroomBimmy 2016-02-29
"how do other men on college campuses get sexually abused?"
Opie should know. He was in a frat. Their entire existence is based around doing gay shit to one another. And even by frat standards, Opie's frat was considered a bunch of faggots.
7 TheSweetSniff 2016-02-29
-Opie isn't sure how to say Palin, as in Sarah Palin. He asks the room how they pronounce it-
Did he get kicked in the head shoeing a horse?
-2 joomommyhappy 2016-02-29
HA!
It's an honest retarded mistake: he's not sure if you're supposed to pronounce it "Palin", like the dude from Monty Python, "Michael Palin", or the other way.
"Did he get kicked in the head shoeing a horse?". I'll be using that one down at the clinic tomorrow, I can tell you that.
4 TheSweetSniff 2016-02-29
Why do I feel like I've just been molested?
6 GayNiggerFag 2016-02-29
High pitched tits is in full force today
6 Cletus_From_Brooklyn 2016-02-29
Way to kill Vos' momentum opie...
5 silks322 2016-02-29
Started off the show with "Celluloid Heroes." Opie very confidently called it "Celluloid Hero" and acted like he was all in with it when asking both Jims if they'd ever heard it.
5 glyde69 2016-02-29
Holy shit, these guys are boring! Could it be any lower energy?
4 KDkid18 2016-02-29
Thank you for this.
3 Cletus_From_Brooklyn 2016-02-29
opie is bothered by a Whoopi's lack of eyebrows. What the fuck...
5 GayNiggerFag 2016-02-29
"Fffuck I shouldn't have said she. Ffffuck"
3 xxDEVOLAxx 2016-02-29
any streams?
3 GayNiggerFag 2016-02-29
Not sure. u/braunheiser would know
13 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2016-02-29
Dude should have to wear a detector badge like in a uranium mine to ensure he doesn't get sick from being around pure radioactive dogshit raqio so often.
3 FoetusCorruptus 2016-02-29
How many times did that retard say "Disenvow"? I counted at least twice, and that was AFTER Jim corrected him.
1 stinkskc 2016-02-29
Opie's IMF
3 TriangleDimes 2016-02-29
I said out loud " ha ha what a fucking idiot!" to an empty apartment.
2 bizzlbone 2016-02-29
Okay who hasn't done this?
2 whoaDAVIDwhoa 2016-02-29
CO FUCKING CAINE
2 SirWallaceII 2016-02-29
are you doing cocaine?
1 [deleted] 2016-02-29
[removed]
1 TheFatMosque 2016-02-29
re: 7:42am. can someone link this (what I assume is an) horrific bomb?
1 sanfrancisco69er 2016-02-29
i hate opie but he is not wrong for not thinking dudes on college campuses can be sexually abused. because they arent
1 whoaDAVIDwhoa 2016-02-29
I couldn't read through this, nevermind listen.
1 fokm 2016-02-29
Thank you for your service.
1 [deleted] 2016-02-29
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-02-29
[deleted]
-2 JMueller2012 2016-02-29
https://youtu.be/80DtQD5BQ_A
-2 jaynap1 2016-02-29
Thanks for taking time out of your busy day to tell us how much you hate something. I feel enriched.
2 CuckECheese 2016-02-29
You basically just did that to this thread.
0 jaynap1 2016-02-29
Took less than five seconds of my time as opposed to 3+ hours.
1 stinkskc 2016-02-29
Opie's IMF