WE'RE two guys who God scrapped together while he was drunk with random body parts left over from a hard day's work creating normal people

67  2016-02-26 by braunheiser

46 comments

Sam really is Hitler's nightmare

hahaha

What the fuck is Sam!! The more pictures of him I see the less and less I understand what he really is!! His whole face just looks a bit off, like almost human and normal but not quite. I said it in another thread as a joke but I really do wonder if he is some genetic throwback to a simpler form of human evolution. Did recessive genes from Cro Magnon kick in while he was gestating in his mothers womb? Maybe his mom and dad come from families with high levels of latent Neanderthal genes and the two of them marrying and having kids sent those latent genes into high gear when Sam was made? Someone needs to alert a university about the possibility that primitive man walks among us still.

It's because he was 4'11 as a 15 year old and got HGH injections.

My very good friend who I've known since I was 4 also had that exact same thing they had to force puberty for him cause he had liver problems. He came out looking like a million bucks and I wish I had the physique he has, Sam is a dysmorphic failed science experiment of a human being from the moment he left his mom's halfrican Thomas Jefferson slave lineage cunt

doing some pushups every evening would help Sam out tremendously. I'm going to call him and suggest it.

He looks like Pilkington's mong cousin.

Did you see that giant pekka in the background?

lols

His mother courted a negro.

She was very badly raped you see. A victim of the modern age, poor, poor girl.

It is very weird, he's extremely caveman looking but has none of the toughness that usually goes along with it. I think if there were prisons in the cavemen days Sam would be like the caveman in prison they turn into a girl and take turns fucking.

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Ever wonder what someone would look like if they ate nothing but cereal and chicken nuggets?

and had a head filled with candy.

Sam looks like a less human-like gollum

bill burr would have something to say about his dopey feet

They couldn't like strike a funny pose or do a thumbs up at least?

Nope just playin some pocket hockey in front of the giant phallus

They're not professionals like Opie.

Do you even know how long Opie's been doing this for?

60 years

Look if you're just gonna be silly I'm not playing.

Or not stand like 30 feet apart - "dude were totally not gay"

What happened to Than?

he went to rockstar i think

Gave up on his comedy career pretty quick

Not from our point of view.

He tried out a career in stand up(talented o&a producer sindrome) didnt go nowhere, one day he ran into lazlow jogging in a bridge and lazlow offered him a job, i dont remember the details exactly because lazlow told this story on his show years ago.

None of the parts on the one on the right fit, and the one on the left appears to be made from different race parts.

Wow, even for 2008, their website was fucking horrid.

I thought it was for today.

Now I'm all embarrassed.

jesus christ. son of a bitch.

E-Lo's review of their first show:

https://youtu.be/6ryy7B4C2Y8?t=3h5m45s

It starts at 3:05:45 for you phone fags.

Ugh Sam and his Hellboy hands...

Haha Sam's fucking big floppy clown shoes. I've always been entertained that he chooses shoes that have no height or thickness.

Is there video of this fairy running? Has to be the funniest shit.

They spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to get the Washington Monument up their ass.

Sam looks like something that would come from Drake, Dana Carvy, and gay sex.

It's like the good Lord always says, "I don't need nothing fancy, just gimme a crate full of people parts and I'm on the jobsite, getting to work, makin do with what I got."

Their heads look like they should be swapped.

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I don't like God only science I'm a liberal

Sam is a goddamn Australopithecus

Than is a covert Miles Teller

Ugh. If people didn't start this shit with Sam he would have never kept the afro so he could make people think there was a chance he was part black.

I'm offended by that negro in whiteface.

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Mercy kill that horrid Albinegro already.

Sam looks like Drake. Lol.

The Than & Sam show was great. How dare you.