My fat wife Susan

Did you think Opie landed his broad any other way than through his career?

Money and "fame" never helped Opie get pussy.

https://youtu.be/NA-z0bTzp8U?t=3m18s

This always enraged me.

How could you have missed Patrice's point so much? He couldn't be more to the point.

"Do you think being "Opie" helped in the pussy department?"

"I've been Opie since I was twelve-years-old!"

I'm almost positive that conversations like that are why Patrice decided to slowly kill himself with ice cream and Wendy's chicken nuggets.

I remember listening to this and like you, being enraged. I was so angry that through some social contract patrice didn't smash him like he could have for being such a bitch

didn't /u/DannyFromTheShow say something about Kenny and Erock watching Opie bang some skank groupie from a closet? Anyone know what I'm talking about?

[deleted]

I bet she hardly fucks him and when she does she makes a whole big thing out of it. And then opie performs poorly.

Every single time.

You don't think she likes it when she can smell Greggy's shitty leaky asshole when he pulls down his ripped jeans?

I imagine it goes like this: (I'm sorry in advance for visuals)

Opie get home from his fukin brutal day fighting for his life. He walks into his apartment and hears silence. The children are at their fathers or at a daycare. He walks into the kitchen and relives his argument with his old partner when he sees a bowl of grapes. Then he heard a slight clang in the other room.

He goes to investigate, wondering where his wife is. He calls out to her and then hears what can only be described as frantic fumbling. As he gets closer all the noises stops except for the sound of his swaying breast on his shirt fabric. He calls out to his wife again getting closer to the closet, he hears a terrified whimper. Opening the door he sees his bride crying begging "please not today".

He chuckles and say "ahh come on I'm all in with this today" she quietly emerges from the closet, slowly removes her clothing and lies across the bed with a wince on her face. Opie begins to slide on top of her from the edge of the bed using one arm to hold his massive sweater melons above the mattress.

The cries of muffled anguish ring out into the hallway while the saggy flaps of flesh abuse his wife's face and smother her breath. After a very short period he collapses on top of her enveloping her upper body in his chest. She struggles for air, kicking and pushing, every second closer to death. Finally the Titan of radio lifts his body off of her and belches in her face, saying "where you at with tha orgasm?"

To which she scrambles from under him and rushes to the bathroom. She tries desperately to wash the grease and shame from her but it as usual it stays. The only thing that helps is the bank account statement that's taped to the bathroom mirror.

Opie sits up in his bed and giggles to himself and says out loud "the opesters putting up more numbers"

This was known I thought. I believe she was taking her brother.

Her brother is a huge Opie fan http://i.imgur.com/lVQSqXl.jpg

Pew Pew!!!!

The saddest part is that deep down inside his mind, he genuinely sees himself as the figurative radio version of this

Franks and beans!

I like to work with retards

She was 18 when they met. So, taking a younger sibling isnt out of the question.

fan event in philly, thought this was common knowledge.

Sure, its right behind "water is wet" as far as common knowledge goes.

what even is water though man

that's literally the stupidest possible way to phrase the stupidest possible question. impressive really

It is.

No, what Opie did was unique. A middle-aged guy with money married a much younger blonde.....hey, wait a minute......

East Side Dave met his on a fan message board. And she's sleeping with the drummer from their wedding band. So, who has it worse?

the ex is 36, the new one is 26.

old pussy < young pussy

Dave has a new wife?!

gf

Wow, Casey finally left him once she figured out any kind of fame/stardom/money was never gonna happen?

What 26 year old would date that 40 year old, futureless red faced moron?

Don't forget shiteater and pissdrinker too.

the next casey in line i guess.

Women are cunts.

Is that the guy with the British accent and loved the assault on the media

Its Mikey Background.

The British dude was No Filter Paul who apparently hangs out the Compound with all of Anthony's other winner friends like Fred From Brooklyn, Brother Joe, Bobo. A real murderer's row of winners at life there.

To be fair, when it comes to shitting in a diaper on live radio, No Filter Paul is an artist.

Ant chick who is a fan of OnA/Norton has issues - i.e. Linzbella.

Where did this info come from?

Linz is the very definition of gutter trash.

God almighty, the worst.

Hahaha a fan event? Then you know she was really there to fuck Jimmy or Anthony and had to settle for Tits.

I remember him talking about how he met some superfan's sister at an event, somebody find the clip.

Where did Bam meet her?

She was outside the K Rock building Stern worked at. Bam was a scheduled guest that day. She was actually hoping to bag Stern but he turned her down and Bam swooped in to collect the goods.

New info? Uh, no. It's not.

I wonder is she has that god awful Philly accent.

Ohhhh Greggg what gohin ohnnn.

what even is water though man