O, A, and J Have made dying young much more appealing.
73 2016-02-23 by [deleted]
As far as I can tell I only have three options after I turn 50:
A-Continue drinking heavily while at the same time hemorrhaging money on progressively uglier and less mentally stable slatterns.
B-Realize I fucked any chance of professional or personal happiness up because I took too few risks with my career and too many with my dick. Then, because every friend I have has either died or surpassed me in some way, I over compensate and start paying young women just to hang out with me and not fuck me in the hopes they will realize what a great person I am and love me for me.
C-I somehow lose what little personality and likable characteristics I have and replace them with growing breast tissue and rapidly degenerating cognitive function. This of course opens the door for a gold digging harpie to chemically castrate me to the point where I watch WE network and openly weep on a near daily basis.
At least some forms of suicide would leave me with a little dignity.
31 comments
19 MeteorBlitzkieg 2016-02-23
Let's not blame age. Scott Shannon has some fucking humility and a sense of humor about himself. The real problem is that O&A thought they weren't hacks, revealed a lot about the radio business, and now are caught up in the trap they mocked others for falling into. They thought they were doing cutting edge radio but in reality were selling out the entire medium because they thought they were talented enough to go beyond it.
And they're not. Opie is doing the same show he used to mock for YEARS. Ant is now doing a slow burn into obscurity, and Jimmy is realizing that he gave up comedy for an easy paycheck and now doesn't have much of either left. This isn't the fault of age, this is the fault of three idiots who overestimated their worth and underestimated their own laziness.
4 Jackthejew 2016-02-23
Yeah but look at his head
3 damselnoir 2016-02-23
A fine observation, especially the tragedy that Jimmy has placed himself in. Although, I not sure if Ant is burning into obscurity or (with some true effort, if he can find it) rise from the ashes, that was his half ass attempt at radio for the last few years.
1 jf_ftw 2016-02-23
Eh, when they were clicking in the mid 2000s they were better, then opies ego got butt hurt, ant drank himself into becoming the racist he always was, and Jimmy became sold his soul for the pay check. But without the checks and balances the 3 of them seemed to have provided each other they flamed out and have ALL become everything they hated. It's been sad and fascinating to watch
1 zippitii 2016-02-23
They were clicking better but as Meteor says, the issue is laziness. If you compare to how hard CK works on a bunch of different things with how Jim 'works' on his material its night and day. But even if we leave him out of it, almost every comic of that group who was on the show has had numerous attempts at promoting themselves. Jim on the other hand relies on being a sycophant to get cameos in shit movies. He doesnt work on his shit, which is why Bobby gets way more air time in Louie than Jim will ever have. Jim just settled into being a weird guy who acts as weird as he looks. Even fucking Vos did the radio thing and a movie and is now trying to do a tv show.
1 cashan0va_007 2016-02-23
That's true; it's kind of like the "united we stand, divided we fall" saying. The checks and balances of an odd team did work. No dynamic of one person over-rides the other..
15 Eternalforms 2016-02-23
If you were a female do you think you would ever want anything to do with an aging alcoholic that is so down on himself that goes to a troll board on reddit for pity? It's kind of sad, right? Stop being a pathetic faggot. Take a booze break, drink a lot of water goto the gym and have some pride you clit.
13 gunparty 2016-02-23
keep your chin up kiddo
and then rest it on the end of a shotgun barrel
2 damselnoir 2016-02-23
LOL
8 JMueller2012 2016-02-23
I'll race ya
8 BatKnuckles 2016-02-23
Kill Opie before you do?
4 herpacin 2016-02-23
March 14th swiftly approaches.
2 BatKnuckles 2016-02-23
What happens on March 14th?
3 herpacin 2016-02-23
Opie gets challenged face to face.
2 BatKnuckles 2016-02-23
Who by?
2 herpacin 2016-02-23
u/fairlysquarely
2 FloggingTheHorses 2016-02-23
Bull shit. Fairlysquarely will have a panic attack in his '94 Dodge Neon
6 RSC-Tuff 2016-02-23
Your examples are of people who are all rich and famous compared to you, so it's not really a fair comparison. You'll live a boring and unimportant life with happiness coming in small doses from substances and passionless sex. You'll consider killing yourself at times, but deep down you'll always know that you're comfortable with your mediocrity.
5 JohnQNo1 2016-02-23
bruh...
5 bbjon113 2016-02-23
Bravo sir.
4 Nickbennettc 2016-02-23
Or, you know...you could do what they haven't and grow up. When I was 15 I thought Ant was sooo cool.
But now I'm 29 and when Ant was 34 he was stealing car parts, freebasing and under the thumb of a drunk gargoyle. If I'm that in 5 years I might seriously consider suicide.
His state of arrested development was useful between ages 35-52ish. He's 54 and 36 of those years seem like a complete shit show.
1 cashan0va_007 2016-02-23
How old was ant when he first started radio? I only started listening in the last 4-5 years so I never got the full history, although I read quite a bit of what's available on Wikipedia and some other sites. I thought he had been with Opie since the mid-90's and they made decent money and were semi successful even in the beginning? Was he stealing car parts and doing drugs before his radio start or during the same time as his first gig in radio?
2 Jockel76 2016-02-23
Is it too late for you to join the 27 club?
1 herpacin 2016-02-23
It's too late for the 27 x 2 club.
2 IBison 2016-02-23
don't be a sorry sack
2 damselnoir 2016-02-23
Its for brilliant and cutting observations, such as this. I keep returning to the gutter known as opieandanthony reddit. I think "B" is the most accurate and tragic of the three observations.
1 ImTakingADumpAsIType 2016-02-23
Shut up already.
1 saint-x 2016-02-23
No, no, please continue with the sob story.
1 [deleted] 2016-02-23
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2016-02-23
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1 Anarox 2016-02-23
The end is never pretty, the few that grow old gracefully are rare. You just fucking give in the lane you are in, be it alcoholism or whatever. Trying to change is the hardest shit ever
1 biobotX1 2016-02-23
Imagine if they all died tragically at the height of the show
-4 BarnabusBrady 2016-02-23
It'd be great if you and the rest of the autistic faggots who run jokes into the ground here did die young.
HURR DURR OPIE HAS TITS, HURR DURR ANT LIKES YOUNG GIRLS, HURR DURR JIM IS WORM