I like where this is going.

jail?

No need to bring Anthony into this.

He said jail, not jaibait.

He should have said both.

And made mention of the fact that from behind, follicles are worth every penny while face pits don't matter.

A boy can dream can't he?

nowhere

Kenny is going to crush your larynx with retard strength if you pull that shit.

"G.H., there is a very angry gentleman here to see you..."

There is no HQ. It's a floor of a building. You're not getting anywhere near Sirius unless you work there.

Hmmm.. what to do??

Airborne transportation?

Get a job as a window washer and break the window nearest Tits. Gain entry that way.

Play the long game.

God speed, sir.

Big tree fall hard. I hate being the Internet tough guy, but I would bounce his oddly shaped melon off the ground. Big fat dope that he is

Lol. Youd fall to your knees and start uncontrollably sucking dick you fucking faggot

Ohhhh, gay joke. I get it

I'm not a Kenny fan, but you absolutely wouldn't. He's a monster.

Size means absolutely nothing. He is an out of shape dummy probably nearing 60 years old. Again, I don't want to sound like the Internet tough guy. It's just that I know I am stronger and faster, and I was on the wrestling team in college. All the size and training in the world wont help you if your Physically outmatched.

He's also a trained martial artist if I recall correctly, which is what I was referring to. Him being built like a brick shithouse is just another variable.

Is driving a worm and mid transition grandma around town a martial art?

I certainly wouldn't encourage the average guy to challenge him to a fight, but because I have a wrestling background and train in BJJ I feel very confident. Besides my training, im simply more physically fit than he is. Younger, stronger and faster. He would be overwhelmed.

I'm sure you train bjs you fucking queer

Clever stuff

Take it up in the octagon then bruv

bjj =blowjobs + jerkin it

He's taking a course in Homeland Defense. You stand no chance you fool.

Lol, a course in homelan defense? WTF does that even mean?

You don't wanna find out punk. Kenny has multiple certificates. Multiple.

uhsss

He would give you a first hand showing of his brown belt. You see the brown pelt is his penis made brown with poopy as it penetrates your butthole.

Yeah, but can you stop bullets? Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought Kenny had a conceal carry? You know how these cops get around anyone above grandma strength if they feel like their "life is in danger."

Snub-nosed 38. Keeps it on his right ankle. FYI.

Well I certainly wouldn't just attack him randomly, I guess I'm talking about an organized fight. Or at least a street fight that he has agreed to. I'm not storming into Siriusxm, because I'm not a lunatic like the OP

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We got every kinda post here from a diddle-eye joe to a damned if I know.

That would be as ironic as rain on your wedding day!

Hahahaha I like this fuckin guy

It'd just crack over his dry brillo hair.

but bottles are plastic now.

Please, kenny would miss anyone moderately moving then break a hip before he gasses out in 10 seconds. However, he would immediately call one of his cop buddies who he bailed out of a clearly guilty situation while he was in internal affairs.

Not frankenjew!

Not if there's a solid wall nearby. Size beats everything most times, you wannabe mma shrimp faggots. There's a reason they start fights in the dead center of a big wide open ring with 8 sides of fence instead of a narrow cement hallway.

In a place with walls, the 6'6 guy takes the 5'10 guy and cracks his ribcage in half. Your superior cardio and footwork won't do you a lick of good then, hah.

it's pronounced "larnyx" according to actual retard gregg hughes

I think Jim said it like Larry Nicks

He will do it on a Friday, when Kenny is on tour with Jimmy.

He won't even get past security downstairs. He won't make it onto an elevator.

You may as well challenge Ant to do a show sober

I'm starting to think him doing the show sober is one of the major problems. Only one, but still one.

That awkward forced "heh heh heh" laugh he does

it's almost the exact opposite of a laugh, it's more like "AH AH AH"

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Does this count as a rekt moment? It feels like Anthony got rekt but I'm not sure.

what's your story sailor?

I once bought a hat from a man who spoke too loudly.

did you punch him in the larynx?

I'm trying to imagine him just sitting in his room and talking into a mic like Burr's Monday Morning Podcast. No effects or production tricks, just a man in a room with his opinions and stories. I might as well be eavesdropping on some interns at a Starbucks, you can't do it.

imagine Opie trying to do Burr's schtick with the screaming and singing ad tunes.

HEY BBB^{RRROOOTTTHHHEEERRRMMMAAANNN}

Interns at Starbucks sound at least a bit interesting.

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Apparently you all hate Bill Burr but he can talk to himself like no one else....

Sorry I almost forgot something, Fuck Opie

you can't read right

Burr is a freckled saint

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True story:

When I was about 10 years old I masturbated to her when she was dressed up like Tina Turner in Jumpin Jack Flash.

I didn't really know what it was to orgasm at such a young age but I knew that I liked it.

I also masturbated to that feral bitch from In the Name Of The Rose, the sex scene in Top Gun and when Andi kisses what's his name in The Goonies.

💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

what else have you masturbated to

An image of you inside me if you play your cards right.

;)

oh ok well i only get off to baby decapitations so no thanks

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So witch one are you and witch one am I?

👄

Shit dude. I did that too. I had just started wanking when that movie was on HBO all the time. Nice legs back then.

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=643942622

Just look at those buttocks.

;)

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wtf I did the exact same thing at the exact same stage of life. That's just weird.

;)

this is probably this subs monster rain story

Opie is the exact type of person who will see this and say in his next pissy breakdown, "I've received death threats. Trust me."

Tits just tweeted to go fuck yourself. So you better head on down there....

Did he really!? Link?

Is that the tweet where he said his momma takes it in the ass from homeless nignogs?

I wouldn't take that if I were him that's for darn sure.

Please pardon my language but I'm starting to heat up again.

"Harold the hater" I love it

No one on this subreddit would be able to fit through the doors of Sirius XM, let's be real.

In the shape of a flan.

No need to pitch a fit

Circle is a shape HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

He did a test run (I'm guessing). His wife gave rich and Bonnie some unused podcast equipment. I think he must have recorded a test episode and it sucked so bad he got rid of the equipment.

he probably couldn't even get it set up and working

How did they get it into the city?

how did your parents die?

His wife talks? I always just assumed that she was a mute mannequin.

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both of you were made for each other

He would just pull the old

"I know I'm not funny! That's why I have people in!"

How can anyone dispute that? Isn't that the point we are all trying to make?

He literally cannot do it.

I like this kid's gusto!

He can't, therefore he won't.

You should have challenged him to a cock-sucking challenge.

I liked it up to the going to the studio part. Nigga who you kidding?

This is a great idea.

Finally Opie can stretch his legs as the on air talent. No more jokes, improv, or great conversation to get in his way. He'll FINALLY be free to do his own show, without having to carry all those other people in the studio.

Could even do it once a month and call it the Funny Mofos Monthly.

You might not want to make a public threat of physucal violence towards a (barely) high-profile person. Just saying.

Are you six years old?

If so, he's evenly matched with Opie mentally, and it could be a close call.

I'll allot him one lifeline where he may spend 15 seconds of airtime calling Erock fat or disparaging podcasts as a Zionist plot to weaken the resolve of hard working gentiles at any point he so chooses during the broadcast.

Choose wisely Gregory.

I was so waiting for this to end with peckas.

Wear a hat with a piece of white card tucked into the band that has the word 'press' on it. That should gain you access to SiriusXM. Maybe a notepad and pencil to complete the ruse. The pencil also serves as a weapon.

Spuds Buckley on SXM!

Opie does a show where just allows critical calls for 3 hours.

It might be the most listened to episode of OJ with multiple 'viral videos' and create a mini-twitter storm.

This is going to be great, i hope they mention on the air how a obese guy wearing a torpid sloth shirt, got his ass whooped by security when he tried to barge in the building.

lol are you wearing your trenchcoat and fedora, or just going with some camo shorts and shirt.

Just remember to delete this user when nothing happens that day, because you pussied out.

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oh wow i bet the security guards are shitting their pants. U sir are an embarrasing delusional faggot.

ok tell me dipshit how are you going to go trough the lobby security is it like the matrix where your gunkata and kung fu skills are superior, or just some mission imposible ductworks infiltration.

What about kenny are you going to use ur naruto ninja skills. or just overpower him with your wit.

I think its going to be some fat faggot screaming about opie while security drags him away

You taking this seriously is making me cringe. I'm all in with the uncomfortable moments.

this whole thread makes me cringe, i mean the opie fanfiction is getting out of hand

You can always stop replying and leave. You fat faggot.

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"Fat faggot" that's the best you do? Lemme guess your 42 , and you watch college football.

im just aiming at 96% of the o&a fanbase

Never answered my question numb nuts

The answer is, yes he will marry you

Fuck you lets fight

What are the shorts for?

cool dudes wear shorts in winter

Also, the "Opie Empire" consists of one small room in a building full of 1000's more important people than him. So if that's how high you are aiming....you need to aim higher.

Also is this how imagine yourself entering sirius xm? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuslUzbJEaw

Obviously he's loying about this. It's nice to dream though no?

You never know.

If push comes to shove, I think Opie could waste a couple hours complaining about management.

and other wacky kooky stuff

Anyone going to crowd fund his bail when Opie sees the post and contacts the authorities and they track him down and arrest him? I'll get it started with a nice shiny nickel.

Say hey, whadya say?

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Count me in for a strawpenny or two.

Half of us should try to raise his bail while the other half raise funds to pay some spooks to haunt his anus.

It'll be a race!

He's no howard

To be fair to listen to anyone for a few hours by themselves would be pretty hard.

Bill burr does it every podcast

There are exceptions. But he does it for only an hour right, maybe more? Opie is on for like 3 hours.

The exceptions are some of the political guys like Limbaugh.

I made that same challenge about 6 months ago. He'd never do it.

Opie will show you. Spuds Buckley will capture the hearts and minds of radioland, and this stunning success will see opie hosting a network TV show within a year. Sniff

hahahahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahahahahah. hahahahahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahahha. THAT WOULD REQUIRE TALENT YOU SILLY GOOSE! hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I think this man is serious. Show him that you can do it, Opie!

Kick his fuckin ass!

callers are allowed sparingly, ones which he think could genuinely add to his conversation.

key word is sparingly

theres nothing wrong with that, its genuinely part of radio. there ya go

You spelled Snowy wrong

This is stupid... Nobody wants to hear what you're asking him to do. He knows if he tried that, while appeasing you would give the rest of us more material to use against him.

Dude, that's a clear threat. You've crossed a line, like Dice did to Jay (faggot) Mohr.

Da Opester is gonna get a restraining order on your ass! This is harassment! PERIOD!

I couldn't be less interested in this post

thanks for that riveting update bruv

You had me till this post

Say hey, whadya say?

An image of you inside me if you play your cards right.

;)

jail?

Count me in for a strawpenny or two.

You spelled Snowy wrong

nowhere

Half of us should try to raise his bail while the other half raise funds to pay some spooks to haunt his anus.

It'll be a race!